Welcome All to A Certain Ten Year Anniversary Celebration! This is really just my way of celebrating ten great years of a great series and colorful universe. This prologue is pretty much how I'm going to write the rest of the story so don't expect some big plot. Just character interactions with some other humorous thing inside. I also may do pairings due to the large cast. But for now Idk. Lets see how this first chapter fairs.
Our prologue begins in a dark room with a large round table. A small light turns on, revealing Tsuchimikado Motoharu with his signature sunglasses and Hawaiian shirt sitting in a chair.
"So, shall we begin?"
Another small turned on, revealing a blue-haired teen with ear piercings, "Ah, so that time has come huh?"
Again a light turned on. "This Misaka expects you have something fiendish planned right?" a girl with a chestnut brown hair and a dark look in her eyes spoke.
Another light turned on, revealing a girl with a dragon tail, "Ohh! I got a good one! Hot springs! Hot springs are a great place for celebration!" (Plus if I play my cards right I can get some skin ship with Touma!) A perverted blush spread across her face.
Another bulb lit up, shining light on a middle school girl. "Ah! I see your perverted intentions written all over your face /return!" She waved a folded paper fan in her hand. "Besides, with a body like yours, its best to go with a swimsuit /return!"
The room was now fully lit up as the six individuals sat around the table. Huh? I only mentioned five? That's right… I forgot about this guy.
"Um…" the others turned to a boy with no real noticeable features. "Why am I here?"
Tsuchimikado sighed in disappointment, "Isn't it obvious Kaze-kun? We're here to celebrated tens years of success of A Certain Magical Index! We're still in the planning stages at this point."
Kazeyare slightly raised his hand, "That still doesn't explain why I'm here."
"Don't be hung up on such trivial details Kaze-kun." Aogami waved off his concern. "This is a parody story so stuff like why or how doesn't really matter."
"Oi! You can't just wave off common sense by calling it a parody story! That's irresponsible!" Kazeyare protested.
"Ehhh? But If we call it a Parody story right off the bat, it gives us more freedom to do what we want and lets the reader know they're reading something that has no real meaning other than to be funny." It was Lessar who countered his argument with an actual valid point.
"Ah. Well I guess you're right." He shook his head in agreement. "By the way, who are you?"
The room erupted with a shocking sound. "What!? How do you not know who I am! Did I not make a big enough impact during my debut in the novels?" Lessar's self esteem continued to drop at an alarming rate. I was even on the cover of volume 20!"
The non-descriptive boy looked on completely dumbfounded, "I'm sorry?" he had no idea how to react to the uproar.
Tsuchimikado slammed his hand on the table, granting him everyone's attention "Calm down everyone! I can explain his ignorance." The all quieted down and took to their seats. "Simply put, the author decided he would not know anything that occurred in the light novels as he was never apart of them."
"Ahh I see." Was all that they said.
WORST chucked, "Keh keh, so you're not even an important character. Just an OC! How sad." The light jab struck the boy at his core.
"Moving on to the main issue here," a blank piece of paper laid in the middle of the round table. "What should we do for the anniversary celebration?"
Aogami's hand was raised immediately. "Genderbender story!" he shamelessly shouted out.
"DENIED!" The boring boy shouted. "That's too much! I understand this is a parody story but shouldn't we at least try to remain in the realms of feasible?"
"What's so bad about changing the gender of everybody?"
A stray thought passed by his head as he imagined a certain hot-blooded boy as a girl. That's not that bad-WAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIT! He stopped himself from thinking any further before he began to question himself. The others looked at him expectantly, "W-well for one Maika would be a boy."
"GENDERBENT IS OUT OF THE QUESTION!" Roared the Siscon Sergeant.
"Tch! I really wanted to see Accel-chan in a skirt too!" WORST said to no one in particular.
"How about a beach trip? Plenty of reason to don this new bikini I got recently!" Lessar suggested still determined to get her skin ship with a certain unfortunate boy.
"It's December! You want to wear a bikini in winter? And don't suggest we go somewhere else like Hawaii! And how big is this guest list anyway?"
Aogami quickly stood up and reached for the device on his face, causing the others to overact.
"Aogami you can't do that! I know this is a parody story and all but that joke is not only old but completely overused!" Tsuchimikado desperately tried to talk some sense into him.
"W-what? What's going on?" said the person no one cared about.
WORST grinned at the events, "Why not let him do it? I would love to see the reactions on the review page if he does it. I bet all the girls would come flocking to you!" WORST said adding oil to the already out of control fire.
"H-he beat me to it /return! I thought I was the only one prepared for that joke /return." The Will lowered her head in defeat as she placed the well recognizable device on the table.
" W-wait! What about my beach trip?" Lessar tried to get the group back on track but to no avail.
Aogami continued to look forward as he resolved himself. "Sorry Tsuchimikado, but I can't let this golden opportunity pass me by." He showed his friend a light smile. "Besides, you also wanted to do this right?"
Tsuchimikado clicked his tongue as he clenched his fist. "You're right. I would do it if I was you, but that joke is so old and overused! It may cause more harm than help!"
Aogami stepped on the table, not heeding the words of his friend. "Even so, I can't stop myself."
"Seriously guys what the hell is going on!" the one who started it remained ignorant of the whole situation.
Aogami dramatically pointed at Kazeyare as the theme for Innocentius started playing in the background. "Kazeyare Kouta! You asked how many people are on the guest list correct?"
He nervously nodded his head, "I did but why are you standing on the table? And where is that music coming from?"
"That question of yours," Aogami raised and tightly clenched his left fist, "I'll answer it!"
"Why is this turning into such a big deal?" His protest fell on deaf ears.
"The number of people on the guest list," he removed the device from his face and held it in his hand. The tension in the air rose to incredible levels. "It's,"
He paused, waiting for the music to reach the perfect point.
"It's over 9000!" Aogami shouted to the heavens as he crushed the device in his hand.
"9000! THAT'S WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE!?"
They all looked on in shock. No words were needed to understand what had just happened. Aogami said the oldest joke in the world, and he received an adequate response. It was history in the making.
Aogami stepped down from the table and sat back down in his seat.
Tsuchimikado looked at his friend and gave him a nod of approval. "So, what does everybody think about the beach trip idea?"
"Hmm, now that I think about it," Lessar looked at a certain electromaster, "I'm not so fond of the idea now."
"Hmm, you realized your defeat before the battle began huh?" WORST taunted.
"OI! DON'T JUST CONTINUE AND PRETEND THAT NONSENSE DIDN'T OCCUR!" a voice that was ignored cried out.
"Kaze-kun, we're not here to goof off. We gathered here to devise a plan to celebrate the ten year Anniversary." Tsuchimikado said acting like a leader of sorts.
Kazeyare angrily pointed his finger at the ringleader. "Don't give me that bullcrap! You guys have been doing nothing but goofing off! And all your suggestions are either stupid or have some other perverted ulterior motive! Take this seriously? I'm pretty sure I'm the only one taking this seriously!"
A devious smile spread across WORST's face, "Oh, does that mean you have some genius idea of how to celebrate the Anniversary, Mary Sue?"
The Will nodded her head in agreement, "You've changed my opinion on you, person whose name I have no intention or remembering /return. I thought you were indiscriminately shooting down ideas but /backspace, you actually had a plan all along, didn't you /return?"
In that instant all the attention turned to Kazeyare Kouta and great expectations fell upon him.
"Ah, well um…" … "How about a festival? We set up booths all around Academy city with various activities and prizes. And we can even have a contest of sorts, like a fashion show or music. Then at night we can hold a traditional Japanese festival with yukatas and Fireworks. Oh and to promote people to got to the booths we can set up a point system of sorts. You earn points for each booth you go to and can turn them in for a big prize at the end!"
"Wow." that one word left their mouths.
"What's with that lame reaction? Can you guys think of anything better?" he challenged them.
"We could… but," Tsuchimikado trailed off.
"It's too much of a hassle and we've wasted too much time with your antics." Aogami chipped in.
"My antics?! You guys are the ones wasting time!" He angrily retorted.
"Since we're running out of time, we'll go along with your idea. Any objections?"
"WAIT!" A roar echoed in the room as an explosion of red, yellow and blue smoke filled the room. "You can't end it like this!" The number 7 made an unexpected appearance!
"Gunha! What the hell are you doing here?" the boy who shouted nothing but sense was reaching his limit.
"Hmm? No reason in particular. Just thought this needed some more guts!"
Four beams of light pierced a wall that encased the room. "Oi! What the hell is this? Why does that fucking idiot get all the attention?" A beautiful woman with long tea colored haired made her own entrance into the room.
"Who the hell are you?" the situation was getting out of hand
Before anyone could answer, another wall came crashing down, revealing two boys with white hair. "Scram already second rate! Why do I have to show up with you?" The cane-wielding boy complained about his entrance.
"Calm down you crippled lolicon. You should be grateful that I didn't ****** or even ******." The pure white boy replied with a smile.
"Oh! Accel-chan finally made his appearance! And with #2! This couldn't get any better." WORST rested her feet on the table and started snacking on some popcorn, fully prepared to enjoy the incoming bloodbath.
"Oi! We need to end this before this gets any worse! Huh? Where did they go?" The other members of the board had already evacuated the premises, leaving the boy to deal with the raging storm. "THEY LEFT ME!"
"Quiet down!" all but one had left, the WORST one to left in this situation. "Onee-chan will probably appear soon." Her devilish grin only promised more chaos.
Sure enough, the #1 tsundere in Academy City descended as she destroyed the ceiling along the way. "What the hell is going on here?" The scene was complete destruction. #4 and #7 were playing a dangerous game of laser volley, the #1 and #2 were engaged in kung-fu fighting, all while A certain Misaka enjoyed the show.
"What the hell is going on here?" she turned to the boy.
"We we're just planning a parody story for the ten year anniversary party and it somehow ended up like this!"
She twitched at the answer. "A… Parody story?" she muttered under her breath. She then proceeded to walk out through one of the large holes in the building. "I'm going home." Due to previous trauma of participating in other parody stories, Misaka Mikoto had no intentions of being kicked by a Saint or being ignored through a majority of the story again. With that, the #3 left the scene as quickly as she entered it.
But the other Level 5's still rampaged, leaving a weak level 2 to stop it. He held his head in fear as volleys of debris, Dark Matter, and beams of light flew threw the air. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he opened it to find a message from the greatest traitor.
Nyah~ Kaze-kun, If you get into a real bind, just shout these few words and everything will be all right!
He slowly read the whole message before placing his phone back in his pocket. He took in the largest breath of his life.
"OI! ISN'T THAT KAMIJOU TOUMA OVER THERE?" They all stopped and turned in that direction while he ran home as fast as he could.
Inside a certain dorm room, a spiky haired boy had chills sent up his spine.
And so, the meeting of minds came to an end with Academy City wondrously intact. Tomorrow the Anniversary celebration would begin. All characters from the Magic side and Science side will gather. Strong and weak. From one chapter antagonist to Side story jean cutters. From fathers of well known characters to magic gods and non-human beings. The celebration will definitely be one to remember…
"Huff huff, wait!" a girl with starry eyes ran to the deserted scene. "Ah! I'm late! Just redo everything from the beginning with your writing ability okay~?" she performed a cutesy pose.
Don't ask for the impossible from the author. Just make a flashy appearance during the festival.
"Huh? W-wait! I didn't run all-"
The sun sets on the prologue of adventure as we prepare for a new day. What will tomorrow hold in store for our heroes? Gutsy adventures? Perverted conquests? Unexpected alliances? Those these are all unknown, one thing is for sure; tomorrow will be filled with misfortune for a certain level 0!
And that's the first chapter! What do you think? It's crack right? But have you read any of Kamachi's paradoy stories? from cat-eared Misakas to Himegami hiding under Kamijou's bed! It it gets crazy! And yea this is my first time writing something like this, as most of you could probably tell. So feedback would be appreciated if you want to see more. As for pairings, I'm open for anything as I'm planning to use as many characters in this 'story' as possible. Even the deceased like Komaba Rikotou, Kihara Amata, Original Kakine Teitokou and Frenda Seiuliven. Also, If there's a certain tag team you want to see in this story, like WORST and Shokuhou, leave a review or PM me and I'll see what I can do.