A/N: Another chapter, because why not?


So?

so

What's up?

nothing

Did you go on a date with your boyfriend yet? :3

nope

Why not?

because i know in my heart that u'll tease me to no end when i do go out with him

How did you read my mind?

duh im your best friend

Well yeah but...

how much have u been hanging around kenny lately

He's at my house now, in the kitchen. Why?

he's having way too much influence on u

What's that supposed to mean?

idk, it could be ur abundance of dirty jokes lately, but u know, y would any1 think dat

Don't ever say dat.

y? u mad bro

I already have to put up with your illegible text speak so...

excuse u i have the authority in this relationship

What?

wat

How gay are you today?

maybe i've been hanging around u too much. ;p

Oh you're so proud of yourself aren't you, you little shit.

now just hold on there sir, ur acting like a chick on her period

I hate you.

i love u too

Do you always have to say that?

say dat?

GODFUCKINGDAMNIT

u still mad brah? wat u gonna do bro

Kiss your ass.

no thats for butters to do

WHAT THE FUCK. *kick

are u sure

Wait did you just say "no thats for butters to do"?

maybe

u dont know my life

I don't think you quite understand how much hatred I'm holding for you right now.

shhh let the butthurt flow through u. hey is kenny still at ur house?

Yeah. Why?

how long has he been in ur kitchen

Um...shit...maybe over an hour?

wtf is he making a feast or something

Hold on, I'm going to go check up on him.


Kenny enthusiastically shoved a glazed turkey in the oven, ready to eat like there was no tomorrow. He already had platters of fruit, spaghetti, cheese, and even a bag of cheetos out, accompanied by bottles of water.

"Just what the fuck are you doing?" Kyle asked, hands on his hips. Kenny stopped short.

"Um...best friends for life!" He responded, throwing his arms around Kyle. The redhead rolled his eyes, and shoved the other boy off of him.

"I swear to fucking god Kenny, if I come back down in half an hour and all the food in the refrigerator is gone, I will murder your entire goddamn family." Kyle threatened and walked into the living room. Kenny took half the food off the counter and quietly put it back in the refrigerator.


He was fucking cleaning out my kitchen.

lol what did u do expect

God I hate him so much.

just like u hate me

Yeah.

u don't hate me

It depends.

did u call cartman yet

For?

for ur guys' date

Fuck you.

u wish

What?

wat

Stan stop being a gay prick.

well excuse u

Maybe you're the one who picked up on Kenny's humor.


"Are you texting about me?" A voice asked from behind Kyle, nearly succeeding in giving him a heart attack and falling off the couch.

"Where the fuck did you come from Kenny?!" Kyle shrieked. Kenny laughed in response.

"I ate and ambled over to see what my friend was doing. What else would I do? But I saw my name on your phone. What the fuck?"

"...Um, we were talking about Kenny...Teddy. Ever heard of Kenny Teddy?"

"Don't even lie, I know you were talking about me."

A second later, Kyle escorted Kenny out the door and shut the door, closing the curtains. "SEE YOU TOMORROW!" He yelled out of an open window. Kenny responded by flipping him off and walking home.


Sorry, had to kick Kenny out.

y?

I don't know, just wanted to.

ur a real dickass

Is that even an insult? Did you mean jackass?

nope. u can combine two swear words together for twice the fun.

Fuckdick

shitblowjob

Crapfuck.

bastarddouche

Why are we this easily entertained?

Stan?

Oh goddamnit.

Stan?

I love you.

Get back on your phone.

You motherfucker.