Sam Alexander sat on the bar stool reflecting on his past and asking himself the same question the answer for which he'd been searching for the past few years. How had this happened? Of course, he wasn't going to find the answer in alcohol but as pitiful as it may seem that was all he had left. He had no family, no team, and no friends. And whose fault it was you may ask? The answer is mainly his perhaps. After all, if he hadn't done all those things, then maybe now he would not be such a mess right now.

Sam groaned as he drank another bottle of whiskey and waited for it to start doing its job. Apparently there was no difference in his current and previous condition. And Sam could not suppress the agonizing moan that escaped his lips. He could not believe it. After so much drinking nothing had changed. He had been waiting and waiting for the all too familiar but now distant fog to cloud his mind; desperately called for the drowsiness and dizziness to come; miserably craved for those few minutes of pure bliss when he forgot about everything and everyone.

He would gladly welcome anything that would grant him that simple wish because now that was all he wanted, all he needed. Alas, just like everything else in his life tonight's attempts to accomplish something turned out to be a complete failure.

Just as more negative thoughts were going to drown his mind, he quickly gulped down the remnants of his drink and sighed. It wasn't much but it was enough. It would have to do for now. He then got up and exited the bar, having left enough money to cover the bill, of course.

He gritted his teeth and an angry scowl formed on his face as the cold night air hit him with full force and did the one thing he despised – it sobered him up. Now with a clear mind he drifted back to the happy days when he was still part of a team. He remembered how annoying yet helpful Danny could be; how fun it was when the brunet had managed to come up with a comeback and leave Ava speechless; how tiring yet satisfying were the times when he trained with Luke and how close they had got with time. And finally his memories reached the sacred place where moments with his first love lay scattered about. His mind drifted back to the last member of his former team, his leader, Peter Parker, who was probably one of the most inspirational people he would ever meet.

The green-eyed man recalled all the times the two of them had played pranks on one another but had also succeeded in putting their differences aside in order to get the job done. He remembered how happy he had been then; remembered the way Peter had made him feel. Sam remembered every last detail of said person's behavior. For example, how cute he would look whenever the brunet had managed to pull a prank on him; how utterly adorable Peter appeared when he was embarrassed or at a loss for words (if the situation was comical, of course).

The dark-haired man frantically shook his head trying to get rid of these unneeded thoughts. He hated himself for going back there and letting his heart exposed to the pain for the hundredth time. He convinced himself that this was all in the past and that was where it belonged to. After all, he had made his decision. Sam had chosen what he had thought then was for the best and now he had to face the consequences of his actions.

Once he was satisfied that he was not going to risk drowning in self-pity yet again he decided to walk through the park on his way home. The night sky had no stars and the moon could barely be seen. Sam's forest green eyes searched for shadows or any possible threats. Once he had made sure no one was going to harm him he let his mind wander. A slight mocking laugh disturbed the silence of the night. Even after all these years his instincts still had not left him.

Sam's mind then reflected on his past and the twenty-five-year-old man could not help but sigh as he came to the same conclusion yet again. He was the one to blame. After all, life's what you make it as a proverb says, meaning that he could not and most of all should not put the blame on someone else for his own reckless decisions. Because that was all there was to his past – his own decisions, his own choices, his own actions, his own hidden feelings, and his own fear. No one else was responsible for his current situation in life but him, and Sam knew there was no use in denying it.

The brunet snapped out of his thoughts as he heard someone or rather something move in the bushes. His green eyes narrowed and he gritted his teeth. With or without his powers he could still put up a fight if needed. The dark-haired man clenched his fists and adopted a fighting stance. His sharp gaze followed every change in the scenery before him. His ears listened if any unusual sound was emitted. His mind was wide awake and alert. More shuffling followed and Sam tensed up. What if it was not just a regular burglar or mugger? What if it was someone or rather something else hiding in those bushes? Surely fate could not be that harsh, right?

The shuffling intensified tenfold and Sam's eyes narrowed to slits. Whoever or whatever was behind those bushes was obviously getting ready to attack him, but he was determined not to give in or let it win easily. No matter how much he had changed he was still a hero at heart and he was not going to go down without a fight. Just as he had made that decision a shadow leaped into the air and prepared to assault him. Sam brought his hands up ready to defend himself. The shadow aimed for his face but Sam managed to catch it into his hands and gripped it tightly as his body lost its balance. The twenty-five-year-old man landed on his back and gasped out in pain. His forest green eyes shot open as the thing in its hands started scratching and biting him. The brunet winced and gritted his teeth. Pretty soon he had managed to calm the thing in his hands down and was able to get up into a sitting position. The dark-haired man sighed and scratched the cat's ear. It meowed and after a few seconds was let free from Sam's tight grasp.

After a few minutes the animal had disappeared into the night and Sam Alexander still could not believe that he had been frightened and assaulted by a cat. Seriously?! He was or rather had been a super hero and had faced so many menacing criminals and super villains and now what did he have to take pride in – that he had been scared by a cat. Now that was quite embarrassing and Sam made a mental note not to mention it to anyone. He made sure just in case that no one had witnessed the little display of 'cat in distress' situation and sighed in relief once he had concluded that there was no one else in the park besides him.

Suddenly a yawn made its way out of Sam's body or rather forced itself out of it. The brunet grunted but he gave in. Apparently exhaustion had decided to make itself known and was not going to let Sam win this time. The green-eyed man sighed and stretched out his hands. He then looked at his wristwatch and his eyes widened for the briefest of moments. It was 5 in the morning which meant he would not get sleep this night as well. Sam did not know if it was for better or for worse but surely he could survive 48 hours of sleep deprivation, couldn't he?

The brunet went through all the tough and life threatening situations he had been in and came to the conclusion that compared to being stuck between a crocodile's teeth and Ava's claws and weariness due to lack of sleep, the latter seemed a lot easier to cope with. Sam smiled at that thought and grunted for having mentioned that girl again. He made a mental note to stay away from memories involving any members of that team. He had to do it in order to stay sane but some did say that sanity was overrated. Perhaps being crazy had its advantages. Sam shook his head trying to get rid of these strange thoughts and decided to go home and take a shower.

The dark-haired man quickly walked the rest of the way to his apartment. Once he was in front of his apartment building the twenty-five-year-old searched through his pockets for his keys. After a few profanities and blood nearly boiling thrice, he found his keys. Sam fished them out of his right pocket and unlocked the door. He went up the stairs and reached his floor. The brunet then unlocked his apartment door and went in.

His apartment was not one of the best but there were worse places. It had a small living room connected to the kitchen, a bedroom and a bathroom. Sam nearly ran to the bathroom and took an icy cold shower trying to get rid of his hangover. Apparently he was one of the few people on earth who could not get drunk no matter how hard they tried but still had to deal with a menacing hangover. Honestly sometimes Sam thought alcohol enjoyed punishing him. It did not show its wonderful side but it granted Sam his wish – he did want to have a difference in his condition. Unfortunately, alcohol did not make a difference between beautiful bliss, which made you forget about almost everything, and irritating and almost impossible to avoid hangover.

The brunet was soon finished with his shower and went to his room to get dressed for the day. The green-eyed man groaned as he put on the restaurant's new uniform to see how it was going to look. Honestly these people were crazy! First they had made him and his colleagues wear casual clothes and an apron with the restaurant's name on it. Then it was a suit and now it reminded of a semi-suit. It lacked the coat but had an apron and a tie. Lovely! Sam thought as he buttoned up his white shirt and put the belt around his black trousers. Next in line was his tie. Oh how he loathed that thing. It reminded him of a snake and he could swear that thing had tried to make him suffocate once.

After a few minutes he had finished dressing up and was semi-satisfied with his appearance. He did not know why but he thought he did not look good in suits. Perhaps he just was not the type of person to wear those blasted thing. After that he took off the uniform and put it in his backpack. He then got dressed in casual clothes and went to his kitchen to eat breakfast.

As he was munching on a piece of bacon Sam glanced at his watch, which read 6 a.m. This meant he had enough time to eat and go to work on time. He still did not know why the restaurant opened so early but the owner of the place knew best. After all, there were few people that wanted to eat their breakfast at 7:45 or even 7:30 in the morning, however they still existed!

After fifteen minutes Sam had finished his breakfast and moved to the sink to wash the dishes. The brunet then drank his coffee and savored the bittersweet taste it had. Pretty soon he was ready to leave his apartment and head for the bus stop but something stopped him. It was the paddling of the rain. Sam moaned. It had to start raining now of all times.

The green-eyed teen made a mental note to stop by a shop and buy a now much needed umbrella. Great! Now he was going to be late for work but he did not have a choice. He could not afford to get sick right now because he had his final exams only after three weeks and he needed to study. Sam rubbed his eyes and decided to make himself another cup of coffee. After a few minutes he was losing his patience and started tapping his foot against the wooden floor. After about five minutes the man's wish was granted and the brunet drank his second cup for the day. Sam then put in the sink and washed it. He thought he should not put off washing dishes or cups anymore because last time he had done it the sight he was greeted with one morning had scared the wits out of him.

Sam cursed under his breath as he realized that the rain had turned into a torrential one. He sighed and concluded that the chances of getting wet were quite high. Despite that realization, the green-eyed man exited the apartment building and broke out into a run. Sam ran and ran as fast as he could and soon reached the closest possible shop, which sold umbrellas and was open this early in the morning. He went inside and quickly made off for the isle where the umbrellas were displayed. The brunet grabbed a black one and began to walk to the register.

His mind was at ease and even though he had not slept a wink another night, Sam's usual cheeriness and light-hearted behavior had managed to come to life. He smirked as he thought of all the jokes and fun he was going to have with Nicholas today. Nick was actually the only person Sam could afford to act like he normally did, but the sad part was that even with him the brunet could not be completely open and be himself. He had made a promise not to let anyone near his heart again and was doing a great job at keeping it. After all, to him having any kind of relationship with people was just a waste of time. It required trust and courage to risk your heart, which Sam now lacked. He could not afford to get hurt again. He could not allow something like that to happen to him again.

Sam shook his head and soon managed to smile. The brunet decided to focus on what he was going to have to do today. He had the morning shift at the restaurant, which meant that he would only have to work there until noon or one p.m. if some of his colleagues were late for their shift. Then he had to get some sleep and go to the other place he worked on Friday night and during the weekends. The green-eyed man sighed as he realized he was only going to get around five or six hours of sleep at best but they were going to have to do.

With newly found determination to last a few more hours without sleep Sam went to the register and waited for the woman to tell him how much it was going to cost. The brunet then paid her the amount of money the umbrella cost. She accepted the money with a smile, which he mirrored, however it was a fake one.

"Thank you. Have a nice day." She said and her smile grew.

"You too." Sam replied and was just about to exit the shop when an all too familiar voice asked a question he dreaded to hear:

"Sam, i-is that you?"

Disclaimer: I do not own the Ultimate Spider-man.

A/N: Okay, I want to clarify a few things:

I do not know how long this story is going to be. It's probably going to be at least a few chapters long.

This was more an introduction rather than a chapter, but you decide what to call it.

English is not my mother tongue so please do not expect impeccable stories from me.

This is going to be an AU story and Sam might be OOC in his thoughts.

School is really hard this year and I suspect is going to become even more difficult so please do not expect extremely fast updates.

Please review. Constructive criticism is welcomed.

Also please tell me if you want me to continue this story. It's still rough around the edges so I want to know if there are people who actually like this.