Summary: Inspired by an episode of The Goldbergs. Juvia overreacts to a suspicious looking mole on her beloved Gray-sama's back...(Lyon is no help).

Pairings: Juvia/Gray, one-sided Lyon/Juvia, crack Natsu/Gray, mentions of Loke/OC, actual Natsu/Gray friendship, Erza/Gray friendship, Gray/Cana friendship, Gray/Lucy friendship, Gray/Loke friendship, Loke/Lucy friendship, implied Gajeel/Juvia friendship,

YouTube Prompt: Either a general Fairy Tail family feel video or a video of any specific pairing – platonic or romantic – to At All Costs from Wish.

It had been a typical day in Fairy Tail.

Gray had been naked, as usual, and fighting with Natsu, also as per usual, when suddenly Juvia gasped melodramatically.

"Gray-sama!" Juvia swayed slightly as if she was about to pass out. "Your back!"

"Yeah," Gray grunted as he used both hands to push Natsu's feet away from his face. His sole focus was on trying to prevent not only Natsu from kicking him in the face but for such smelly feet from going anywhere near his nose, that he wasn't really paying any attention to Juvia. "What about it?"

"It has a mole on it!"

At this declaration everyone, barring Natsu and Gray, face palmed. All these dramatics over a mole of all things! Gray, however, had successfully pushed Natsu with full force of his ice powers away from his body. Natsu responded with a graceful flip in the air before belching out a fireball at Gray. Gray ducked in time as his ice was blasted to pieces and effortlessly rolled across the floor before creating an ice shield to fend off further fireballs.

"Yeah?" Gray grunted again. "So what?"

"You didn't have a mole yesterday!" Juvia said shrilly. "Juvia would know she keeps track on all of Gray-sama's beauty marks and scars. Gray-sama has a dusting of freckles on the right shoulder, a small birthmark on the inner thigh, and several scars in various places including a bizarre burn scar on the," Juvia's face rapidly went through several shades of red, "buttocks," she finished in a whisper.

Gray startled by this disturbing level of detail of his body dropped the ice shield to gawp in horror at Juvia. He had so many questions...especially what bizarre burn scar on his buttocks?! The distraction allowed Natsu the chance to fly up close to Gray and land a fiery punch on Gray's jaw, sending him flying across the room.


Several people spat out their drink, some gasped melodramatically, Charle ushered Wendy and Asuka out of the building, Gajeel sniggered, Cana out right cackled, and Juvia swooned as she murmured nonsense about boy love.

"If it's taken you this long to figure out you have something there," Natsu crowed smugly, "then you don't deserve to know."

Lucy opened her mouth as if she was about to tell Gray but Natsu promptly smacked his hand over her mouth.

"Why you little-"

Gray had lunged towards Natsu with the intention of throttling the Dragon Slayer when his insult was suddenly drowned out by Juvia letting our a loud, keening, wail that made even the deafest members of the guild suddenly wince in pain.

"Gray-sama do you not understand?!" Juvia wept. Her tears rapidly spilling out into a large puddle beneath her feet. "Do you not realise what a mole that was not your back yesterday might signify?!"

"Juvia!" Gray said exasperated. "It's just a mole."

"It could be cancer!"

The word had an instant magical effect on the entire guild building. It was as if the very air itself suddenly became heavy and unbreathable with the dreadful word. Everyone froze with a look of horror etched into their faces. Natsu had even stopped making rude hand gestures at Gray (he had taken to using Gray's distracted state to constantly switch between giving Gray the middle finger and the two finger salute) and was instead reaching out to grip hold of his shoulder as if confirming Gray was still alive.

"Cancer?" Gray scoffed. "Come on Juvia, that's a bit much isn't it?"

"No Gray-sama," Juvia said softly, "it could be a mark of skin cancer or maybe even evidence of a more severe tumour. You need to get this checked out."

"I agree with Juvia," Erza said sternly, "better to be safe than sorry."

"No harm in checking it out," Cana agreed.

"It's MANLY to get yourself checked out!" Elfman thumped his chest. "That's why I check my prostate every morning!"

"...could have gone my entire life without ever needing to know that," Gray muttered darkly. He thought that more people would make comments on how gross Elfman was being but instead there was just heavy silence. Gray glanced around only to find his entire guild staring at him. Some were anxious and concerned like Lucy and Cana (who had even stopped drinking), some were looking severely worried like Erza and Natsu, some looked with outright pity (okay, mostly just Gajeel), and Juvia looked utterly devastated. "Oh come on guys!" He said much louder. "It's just a mole. I'm not likely to drop dead any moment from now."

"Gray-sama may not drop dead any moment right this second," Juvia said, "but Gray-sama could drop dead any moment in months or years time and then Juvia would be a widow, young, beautiful, and totally untouched as her lover passes before his time, and what will Juvia ever tell the children?!"



At this point Juvia's tears poured down her cheeks full force and the entire guild building was immediately submerged in the flood of her despair. Members of the guild immediately began swimming towards the door before the water hit the ceiling...

"You're all making a mountain out of a mole hill, literally," Gray said scornfully as they all (but Juvia who was still sobbing and Gajeel who was trying to calm her down) got to the safety of dry ground outside of the guild and began wringing their clothes. "It's just a little mole, not cancer, and I'll be just fine till the day I inevitably die from Natsu's stupidity."

"What the hell does that mean?!"

"That you put us all in fucking insane life or death situations!"

And on that note Natsu punched Gray in the nose and they resumed their fight from moments ago.

Gray had honestly thought that was the end of it but it was like Juvia had opened a can of worms with the whole cancer thing. An hour later Erza approached him with some leaflets that she picked up from the local health clinic, all detailing the importance of having one self checked out just in case.

Not long after that Cana swung by with a bottle of wine (that she mostly guzzled herself as Gray just had the one glass) as she told him about the time she thought she had a lump in her breast, and yes it turned out just to be a really hideous spot (something else Gray could have lived never knowing, seriously what was with his guild and sharing too much information?) but she felt safer and happier knowing it was nothing than to keep wondering.

"I know it's nothing," Gray said firmly, "and I am safe and happy, apart from this drunkard spilling red wine all over my coffee table."

"Humph!" Cana glowered at him. "Times like this I don't know why we care."

Loke appeared next, seemingly oblivious to the whole thing, and had listened patiently to Gray bemoan about the silly antics of the guild so far.

"Well, they're not wrong," Loke said nonchalantly, "Cancer is a big scary thing and it's always better to nip it in the bud when you can. Once, this really hot chick felt something odd in my balls and I immediately got it checked out. Turned out to be nothing but it really lifted a weight of my mind."

"...aren't you an immortal celestial spirit who will out live us all?" Gray asked flatly.

"I sometimes forgot I was back then," Loke shrugged, "it's easy to feel human round you lot but the point is, there's nothing wrong with taking your health seriously in these situations. It's probably nothing but you won't know it's nothing until you at least pop in to see Porlyusica."

"...did Lucy tell you to convince me to get checked out?"

"Lucy did ask me to speak to you," Loke said, "but she doesn't order me to do anything I wouldn't want to do. I want you to be okay."

"I am okay," Gray said, "and you can tell Lucy she can speak to me herself when she's worried and not summon my best friend to do it for her."

"She thought you might want your bro to confide in," there was a steely glint in Loke's eye warning Gray to tread carefully here. Gray and Loke were bros but the bond between Celestial Mage and Spirit, especially Lucy and Loke, was something sacred that topped the bro code. "She's scared for you. Have you ever bothered to ask her what her father died of?"

Gray grimaced, feeling a tad guilty, but refused to be pressured into doing something unnecessary just because some jerk who never appreciated his daughter had died of a deadly disease a couple years ago.

"Tell Lucy that I appreciate the concern but I'm fine," Gray said more kindly than he would have said it a minute ago, "and I don't need go get a stupid mole checked out."

"All right," Loke said, "but if you change your mind, I'm here for you man."

Once Loke had left Gray had thought he finally was going to get some peace and quiet but, of course, there was another knock on the door.

"For the last time," Gray snapped as he yanked the door open, "I am not going to – what the hell are you doing here?!"

Lyon stood before him in all of his fine blue cloth and white fur glory that would usually match Juvia's typical clothing to the letter. However Juvia was beside Lyon clad only in black, including he kids you not, a black veil draped over head.

Oh for fuck's sake!

"Now, now is that how you greet your betters Gray?" Lyon chided. "I am sure your senpai has taught you better than that."

"My senpai did not teach me better than anything, " Gray growled, "because I had no senpai!"

Lyon gasped at that as he placed a hand over a heart. "A dagger to my heart, brother," he said woefully, "a dagger to my heart!"

"You can stick that dagger right up your-"

"Gray-sama!" Juvia interrupted tearfully. "How can you be so rude to your brother? After he has made this long journey to check up on you the moment he heard you could possibly be dying?!"

"I am not dying!" Gray rolled his eyes. "I have a frigging mole on my back."

"A mole that was not there yesterday!" Juvia wailed. "If you would only just get it checked we can all rest with ease tonight. Either it is nothing and Juvia is as you said making a mountain out of a mole hill or it is cancer and you can get it treated with higher odds of survival."

"Or you can just sleep tonight knowing I'm fine because it's a mole!"

"Oh Gray-sama!" Juvia wept. "How can you be so callously cruel to Juvia? Juvia only wants you to be healthy and hale and strong for another day. Juvia cannot cope with the thought of Gray-sama dying before he even enters his prime. To lose the beauty and strength and warmth that is Gray-sama's mere presence would be a devastating blow to the world as a whole. Juvia cannot bear the idea of a long, lonely, cold, existence without you by her side."

"Your existence will never be lonely or cold, Juvia Darling," Lyon patted Juvia's hand comfortingly. It was then, much to Gray's never ending annoyance, that Gray realised that Lyon had linked his arm with Juvia's this entire time and kept her close beside him. "I shall never allow that. As your brother in law I would grieve with you my dear and keep you company. We can keep one another warm with our shared love for the rest of our days."

"For the last time," Gray said irritably, "Juvia and I are not married-"

"Even better!" Lyon said brightly. "Juvia do not saddle your horse with my idiotic younger student here. If he won't take precautions with his health then he's likely to die young, stupid, and undeserving of your aquamarine beauty. Marry me, you will never be a devastatingly young and beautiful widow. If you become a widow at all it will be when your near your own time."

"Oh," Juvia stopped crying as a disconcerted expression appeared on her face and she tried to edge away from Lyon. "Lyon-sama is very kind," she said hesitatingly, " but Juvia would never be able to give you her heart the way she has to Gray-sama."

"Also, as I was trying to say," Gray definitely felt his eye twitching. Only Lyon and Juvia combined could bring out this sort of physical irritation in him. "Juvia and I are not married but that does not mean you need to warm her anything! Fairy Tail looks after their own. Sod off back to Lamia Scale before I kick you the whole way back."

"Go and get your mole checked," Lyon said smoothly, "and I'll sod off anywhere you'd like me to go."

"Fine!" Gray huffed. "I'll go to Porlyusica's now if it means you'll leave town and stop groping Juvia's arm!"

(Unbeknownst to Gray who was busy fetching some clothes Juvia mouthed a thank you to Lyon who winked and placed a finger to his lips.)

Lyon vanished the moment he walked Gray and Juvia to Porlyusica's hut with a quick kiss on Juvia's hand and a patronising pat on Gray's shoulder and a demand they update him on what's going on.

Porlyusica was understandably irritated at their call on such a late hour but she always took the health of the Fairy Tail members seriously and immediately ushered Gray into her hut for an examination.

"Hn," she grunted.

"Oh no!" Juvia wailed. "Is it bad?"

"Hmm," Porlyusica replied.

"Is it definitely cancer?"


Juvia whimpered at that as tears sprang out of her eyes once more.

"Oh come on!" Gray snapped. "Is it bad or not? You're only going to send her spiralling again if you don't tell us!"

Porlyusica flicked Gray in the back, hard. He jumped up a good three feet in the air and howled as he could have sworn he bruised that very second. Forget Erza being an absolute demonic monster of pure strength, she had nothing on Porlyusica.

"It's a bit of dirt," Porlyusica sneered, "now get out of my house!"

And at that Gray and Juvia were unceremoniously thrown out of Porlyusica's hut into a pile of limbs on the ground. Gray felt he was quite in his right to glower at Juvia for this whole ridiculous melodrama nonsense that has left him humiliated in the dirt outside of a cranky old lady's house when he could be tucked in bed instead at this point.

"Heh," Juvia smiled weakly, "at least we know it's definitely not cancer?"


"...Juvia could wash your back every day to prevent this from happening again?"