QUEST 2 PART 1: CLAWS FOR APPLAUSE

By Lord Primeval

A/N: Welcome back! This is the second Ed-venture in this messed-up series. Once again, Ed, Edd, n' Eddy belongs to Cartoon Network and Elder Scrolls belongs to Bethesta.

The forest grew dark as the Eds walked on. They had been walking for at least four hours and began to think that they had become lost.

"How can a simple signpost lead us so astray?" Double D whined, "We should have at least found some form of habitation by now."

Eddy and Double D began to slow their pace. They couldn't walk any more.

"All aboard!" Ed shouted, scooping up his friends to carry them.

"Why thank you Ed!" Double D said, his eyes drooping.

"I got it!" Eddy said, "If we can get enough explosives, we can use Double D's Fire spell to put on an amazing fireworks show! Now, I'm thinking a 5 Gold admission fee…"

"Can I lick the bowl Eddy?" said Ed excitedly.

"Really Eddy?" Double D yawned, "We just saw the first Dragon in centuries to come to Skyrim today and all you can think about is more half-baked scams?"

"This cauldron never stops cookin', hood head" said Eddy, pointing to his own forehead, "Ideas just flow in here."

"Well let me know when a good idea pops up." Double D sighed. It had been a bit of an overwhelming day. Even though Eddy's mind was somewhere else, Double D's was on nothing more than getting some sleep. You don't even want to know what Ed's thoughts were.

As Ed carried his two friends, they came into a small clearing. On the small Cliffside, three large stones shone in the moonlight. Each of them had an image carved on the. One stone bore the image of Nord Warrior, one the image of a thief, and the third an image of a mage.

"Oh no!" Ed said, dropping his friends as he held his face in terror, "Dark probes sent here by the Moon-dwelling cabbage people!"

"Don't be stupid, lumpy!" Eddy yelled, slapping Ed in the face, "They're just some dumb rocks!"

Double D stumbled back on his feet, gazing at the new discovery.

"Those aren't just rocks Eddy," Double D explained, "Those are Standing Stones! They're associated with the Constellations that give power, skill, and knowledge."

"Like walnuts?" asked Ed.

"Not quite Ed," said Double D, being patient with him, "But they are very rich in fiber."

"Yawn." Said Eddy.

"But Eddy!" Said Double D, "These stones are said to grant the ability to learn special skills at a rate 20% faster than by ordinary methods. And it says that only a select few individuals can-"

"Must touch rocks!" Ed yelled, running over to the stones.

"ED NO!" Double D shouted, grabbing hold of Ed's armor as he ran, "Those stones are Akatosh only knows how old! You have to be gentle with-"

Ed's hand touched the stone with the warrior's carving on it. The image glowed with his touch.

"I feel tingly Double D." Ed said confused.

"What's going on here?" asked Eddy, confused at what was happening.

"I guess Ed is worthy of the Warrior's Stone," Double D answered, "If I remember correctly, this stone helps Ed in Heavy armor, Blocking, and weapon wielding!"

"So the muscle's just got more muscle?" Said Eddy. "I think I like these stones Double D."

Eddy touched the Thief Stone, granting him easier access to Lockpicking, Archery, Light Armor, and Pickpocketing. Double D then touched the Mage stone, giving him help in practically all fields of magic.

"I think I'm starting to like this mystical stuff." Said Eddy, enjoying the feeling of power he received. "No wonder you take up magic Double D."

He turned around to see Double D asleep, resting his head on the Mage Stone as if it were a pillow.

"Sleepy time Eddy." Yawned Ed, resting himself on the Warrior's stone.

Eddy agreed completely, laying himself down to rest. Tomorrow was going to be big- he could feel it.

The next morning, Double D was the first to awake as usual. He had been spending the majority of his time reading the books he discovered back in Helgan. One in particular seemed to be his favorite; a book on the subject of a spell called 'Sparks.'

He cast the spell on Eddy, firing streams of electricity at the sleeping Imperial to wake him up.

"What the-?" Eddy screamed while in midair jump, "Who's idea was that?"

"By Jove," Double D said excitedly, "I've got it!"

"Wait till I get my hands on you!" Eddy yelled, charging at him.

Double D ran in circles around Ed, Eddy chasing behind. Ed seemed to finally wake up. He saw Eddy chasing after Double D into the woods. Ed just assumed they were playing some kind of game. All Ed knew was he wanted to play too.

"Have a heart man!" Double D yelled. Eddy tripped over a rock, tumbling over himself and Double D. Gravity sent both of them tumbling down the hill, landing on hard ground. They had their eyes closed, completely unaware of their surroundings. They heard the subtle sound of chickens fluttering around and bawking.

They opened their eyes. They had inadvertently entered the town of Riverwood.

"Civilization at last." Double D sighed.

"CHICKENS!" Shouted Ed, just having caught up with them. He chased the helpless fowl, laughing heavily as he ran.

"So now we're in town," Eddy said, "We can sell these spare supplies for extra cash. Then we will-"

"What 'extra supplies' Eddy?" Double D scolded, not trusting Eddy.

"Oh Ed," Eddy said. Ed came running next to him, carrying an armful of his favorite farm animal.

Eddy reached into Ed's inventory and threw a few swords, axes, helmets, three spider's eggs, and a few bits of light armor.

"Where in Mara's name did you get all this?" Double D asked in a shocked tone.

"I scored these in the caves yesterday," Eddy said, picking them up and storing them in his own inventory, "from chests, off some of our attackers, got them when you weren't looking."

"Have you no sense of morality!?" Double D yelled, just shocked at all this.

"HEY! GET AWAY FROM MY CHICKENS!" a voice yelled out.

The owner of the flock rushed out of his house, carrying a large axe in his hands. He had a dark look in his eye, as if his wife was just murdered in front of him.

"RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" shouted Ed, dropping the Chickens in favor of saving his own yellow hide.

Eddy scooped up the last of the loot franticly, just missing the swing of an axe by the frantic farmer. The three ran off, heading to the safety of the inner town of Riverwood. The owner had made his point clear and went back inside his home.

The boys caught their breath, looking to be sure the axe-wielder had left them be. The Eds saw the fine wood-built housing, Double D admired the architecture. The sounds of the famous wood mill could be heard in the distance. They then noticed what looked to be a trade post of some kind. Reading the sign, it was the Riverwood Trader. Needing the spare gold, it was universally decided to go in and form a trade.

The three opened the door, utterly surprised by what was going on inside. The shopkeeper stood behind his desk, making an argument with a woman a few feet away.

"Camilla, I told you no!" he said, "No Adventures! I won't have you risking your neck out there!"

Camilla crossed her arms, giving a sarcastic smile as she spoke.

"Well, what are you going to do about this then?"

"Jerry! Jerry!" Ed shouted, an idiot's smile on his face.

The two took notice. As if the argument wasn't happening, the shopkeeper turned his attention to the Eds.

"Oh, customers." He said, "Sorry you had to hear all that. But don't you boys worry, I'll get you sorted out. How may I help you?"

"We're looking to trade," said Eddy, "Ed?"

Ed walked over to the trading desk.

"Show him the merchandise, mono-brow." He said. He emptied his inventory onto the desk, a plethora of weapons and armor flooded the station. The shopkeeper then took out a scroll and a scale, his tools of determining worth.

"So what exactly happened here?" Double D asked.

"Well," the shopkeeper began, weighing a few swords, "I don't know exactly what you overheard, but we had a bit of a break-in last night."

"Oh dear," Double D said, "This must be devastating for business."

"I blame the public schools Double D." said Ed.

"Don't be ridiculous!" he said, "They were only took one thing. The bad news is they got away with it."

"That's peculiar," Double D said in confusion, "Why would thieves come in and not take all they could?"

Eddy's mind was completely on gaining Coin from this trade. He eagerly watched the price go up on the scroll as he continued.

"Well, it was no ordinary bauble the stole!" the shopkeeper said, "It was a special ornament; solid gold in the shape of a Dragon's claw."

Those words caught Eddy's attention. He heard the sounds of coins clinking in his head, he had an idea.

"Well my friend," Eddy said, sliding in front of the other Eds. "Are you in luck, as we happen to be the best treasure-hunters in all of Cyrodil!"

Double D was about object.

"But we've never been to-"

"And," Eddy continued, placing a hand on Double D's mouth. "We can easily retrieve your precious trinket and return it to your very hands! For a small fee of course…"

"You can?" the shopkeeper happily spoke, "That's wonderful! I've got some coin coming in from my last shipment. If you can get that claw back, it's all yours."

"You got it stretch!" Eddy said, shaking his hand in agreement.

"Quest accepted!" said Ed.

"Now about our trade here," Eddy said with a grin, "I'm thinking it'll be…seven thous-"

"Six hundred and sixty three gold." The Shopkeeper said to Eddy's disappointment. "Can I offer you these?"

He placed a red Wizard's Robe, a quiver with arrows, and a bow on the table. Eddy seemed to be insulted by this. He raised his hands and opened his mouth, but he was interrupted before he could let it out.

"Deal!" Double D said, taking the items.

"Now," the shopkeeper said, "If you want to catch them, I'd start near Bleak Falls Barrow. I've heard rumors that some shady men have been hiding up there."

"Don't worry my friend," Eddy said with a sly voice, "We'll return your claw before you know it. Bye!"

The three then exited the shop and closed the door.

"Why did you take that junk?" Eddy yelled at Double D. "We could have had cold hard coin!"

"We'll get our reward money soon enough, oh impatient one!" said Double D, handing Eddy the newly acquired bow and arrows. "Besides, we need all the equipment we can get."

"Fine," said the rather upset Eddy. "So, where's this Great sparrow anyway?"

"That's Bleak Falls Barrow, Eddy." Double D stated, "And I'm not in the least bit familiar with that location."

"I can help." A voice behind them said. It was Camilla, the one the shopkeeper was arguing with earlier. She pointed to the snowy mountain not too far from the town.

"Just up there," she said, "Is where the Barrow lies."

The three boys gulped.

"Take the bridge on that end of town and go northeast. You'll get to the Barrow soon enough. Thank you for helping us, and good luck." She said as she walked back into the Trader.

"Well, you heard her boys!" Eddy yelled excitedly. "Let's nab us a claw!"

"Follow the leader!" Ed said. The three Eds made their way to the bridge, entering an unknown journey for nothing but the reward of gold.

A/N: In retrospect, this is more a start to a quest, but next time- Dungeon crawling! Undead warriors! And lots of adventure. Tune in next time!