So... Hi there! This is a really random idea that I got and I rolled with it. This was so much fun to write. I hope you enjot reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it, though that'll be hard, because this was hilarious to write.
WARNING: Courtney gets really ticked off, so she curses. A lot.
Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama. If I did, the show would be focused on a teenage audience.
One fine day at Playa Des Losers, Courtney got up in the morning, feeling really happy. Well, that is if you can call waking up at 7am because of someone obnoxiously tapping on your window something that will make you happy.
Because the tapping wouldn't stop, Courtney groggily turned over in her bed to face the window. Naturally, Izzy's face was who Courtney saw first that day. Groaning, Courtney got out of bed and opened the window slightly, so she could converse with Izzy, but not enough so that Izzy could get into her room.
"Izzy, what the hell are you doing out there? It's seven in the morning!" Courtney slurred because she was tired. She had gotten to sleep at 2am the previous night because for some reason, Cody and Sierra would not leave her alone.
"Hi, Courtney! Izzy wanted to know if you wanted to come and have a threesome with her and Noah." Izzy said to her, trying to open the window. Seeing that she was succeeding in opening the window, Courtney made sure to push the window shut whenever it looked like Izzy would succeed.
"No, I do not want to have a threesome! What I really want is to go the hell back to bed!" Courtney yelled. "But now you've ruined that! So I'm going to ruin you! Expect a lawsuit sometime in the near future, you bitch." Courtney promptly slammed the window, causing Izzy to fall out of sight, seeing that Courtney's room was on the third floor. Courtney paused for a moment, then shrugged. "She'll be fine, she's a psycho."
Since she was now wide awake after yelling at Izzy, Courtney decided to start her day. She went into the bathroom to brush her teeth and have a shower. While she was in the shower, she noticed that she had no conditioner left.
"Shit! Why did I listen to Gwen? Double conditioning my hair uses it up too fast." Courtney cursed, making plans to tell Gwen about it later. After her shower, she got dressed in her usual outfit. She brushed her hair and did her makeup so it would be perfect. Looking in the mirror, she decided she was presentable now. "Perfect!"
After making her bed and cleaning her room in case she invited Bridgette or someone in later, Courtney left her room at 7:30am, only to find herself crashing to the floor. Standing up, Courtney noticed that she had a rip in her grey pullover.
"What the actual fuck! One, why were you not watching where you were going, and two, you made me rip a hole in my pullover! I hope you're happy, asshole!" Courtney yelled before storming back into her room. Geoff just stood there, confused and scratching his head.
Courtney threw off the pullover and had a look in the mirror. Her hair was now disheveled, her lipstick was smeared and she looked like a mess; in her opinion, of course.
"Fuck this! If this is what I get for trying to look good for everyone, why should I make an effort anymore?" Courtney yelled. A sound that sounded oddly like Geoff screaming as he ran down the hall away from Courtney's room was heard after this exclamation. Courtney took off her clothes and decided to put on a different outfit. She was now wearing baggy purple track pants, a loose light blue T-shirt and pink high tops similar in style to Duncan's. She still had her normal makeup on, however. She had to look somewhat decent, after all.
She stormed out of her room, avoiding a collision with Beth by pushing her down. When she got to the kitchen for some food, she noticed that just about everyone was there. All eyes turned to her. Noticing this, Courtney was annoyed.
"What the hell are you all looking at?!" Courtney yelled. Some of the more nervous people turned away, but the others kept looking at her.
"Why are you wearing that? We have to wear the same outfit all the time so the readers don't have to imagine us in something different." Trent spoke up.
"Well, fuck you then! Not only should you not be breaking the fourth wall, but are you saying that I'm not allowed to wear something different just to accommodate to some person that probably has no life? It would do them some good to have some mental exercise!" Courtney ranted, going over to the other side of the room to get food. When she sat down at a table to eat, and saw everyone still staring at her, she sent them all a glare and held up her knife. Everyone ran away, knowing that Courtney was in one of her bad moods and would likely throw it if they stayed. She did throw one at Bridgette a few weeks ago, after she tried to soothe her anger, after all. They didn't want to risk it.
After eating her breakfast semi-peacefully, as Beth had come in later, and Courtney had yelled at her to go away, Courtney felt much calmer. She walked out to the pool and sat in her favourite pool chair. It was hers because she liked its position relative to the sun, and the last time someone had sat in it and she'd wanted to, they had been thrown in the pool.
Courtney decided that she was going to have a nap to catch up on her lost hours of sleep, so she closed her eyes and relaxed, the sun hitting her comfortably warm. She sighed, and had a small smile on her face. As she was about to drift off to sleep, she was woken up by someone shaking her. Ticked off, Courtney opened her eyes to see Lindsay. She sat up, rolling her eyes.
"I hope you have a good reason for waking me, Lindsay." Courtney said, attempting to stay calm. Internally, she felt the rage building up, though. Talking to Lindsay was not one of Courtney's favourite things to do.
"Uh, hi, Cleo, I was wondering if you had seen Tyler anywhere? Oh, and I wondered if you knew where my spray tan was? My levels like, dropped suddenly overnight. It's really annoying, because I'm like, really pale, and I like, really want to impress Tyler. I noticed that Beth was pale, too... Do you think I should let her borrow some?" Lindsay said. Courtney felt her rage building at every stupid word Lindsay said, until it came to a breaking point.
"It's Courtney, you dumb bitch!" Courtney yelled, drawing attention and effectively halting Lindsay's train of thought.
"Pardon? I'm not a female dog, but if I was, I would be soooo cute!" Lindsay exclaimed. Courtney screamed in pure rage, shutting Lindsay up and scaring her and everyone that was around.
"Shut the fuck up! My name is Courtney! I do not care about Tyler, he's probably making out with Dakota or something, I do not care about your stupid spray tan, Anne Maria or Heather probably stole it, but most of all, I do not care about YOU!" Courtney yelled, pointing directly at Lindsay's face, causing her to freeze. "You are a bug under my shoe that I cannot kill, no matter how much I step on you! Just leave me the fuck alone!" Courtney then flicked Lindsay's nose, causing her to cry out in pain, and stormed back into the hotel, making sure to slam the door so loud the whole building shook.
After that spectacle, Courtney didn't leave her room until lunch time. She read a book while she was there. At lunch time, Courtney decided she was not going to lose her temper, no matter what happened down there. She didn't even care if she ran into Duncan, Gwen and Cody at the same time; she was not going to get angry.
When she entered the kitchen, people shot her nervous looks as she walked towards the line for food. Courtney noticed, but she didn't even spare them a glance. She did note one advantage to everyone being nervous, though. Since the line was currently composed of people Courtney believed to be pushovers, such as Beth, Katie and Sadie, when they saw her coming, they just let her pass them to get to the front of the line. She shot them all a smile as she collected their food. Seeing Courtney smile, the tension in the room decreased significantly.
She sat down with Bridgette and Geoff. Bridgette offered her a smile and talked to her about the pool and other stuff, while Geoff was nervous the entire time and looked like he wanted to run away. Courtney noticed and was irritated, but decided to straighten it out. She composed herself so she wouldn't yell at Geoff before speaking.
"Geoff, I'm sorry about the incident this morning. Izzy was at my window and it really annoyed me. I didn't mean to take it out on you." Courtney apologised, though it took a blow to her pride to do it. Bridgette smiled approvingly.
"That's okay, Courtney. I'll just make sure to see if you're coming out of your room next time." Geoff replied, slightly more at ease. Courtney mustered a smile. She stood up.
"I'll be right back. I feel like some Skittles from the vending machine." Courtney explained when Bridgette looked at her in confusion. She walked over to the vending machine and looked for the Skittles section. She was furious when she saw there were no packets left. She swore there was at least one left when she passed by it before.
"What the fuck! Where are the Skittles?" Everyone heard Courtney exclaim as she came back into the kitchen. That was when she saw it; an unopened packet of Skittles in Lightning's hands, who was currently arguing with Jo. Courtney walked over to Lightning, who looked up.
"Excuse me, could I have those Skittles, please? I'll give you a dollar." Courtney asked politely.
"No." Lightning declined bluntly. Courtney felt her anger building. Jo, noticing nudged Lightning, but he only nudged her back.
"Excuse me? That's how much they were in the machine! It's a fair trade!" Courtney argued, putting her hands on her hips. Everyone started to get nervous.
"But Lightning sha-wants these Skittles! They're Sha-Lightning's!" Lightning retorted, standing up in an attempt to intimidate Courtney. All it did was infuriate Courtney even more. Internally, she was disappointed at herself for a second, but she squashed that feeling quickly. Lightning deserved her anger.
"Lightning. Give me the Skittles, and no-one gets hurt." Courtney said in a warning tone. A few nervous people hid under their tables. Geoff cursed as his head collided with the table on the way down.
"No. They're Sha-Lightning's!" Lightning exclaimed again, clutching the Skittles. Courtney lost it. She was fair, and it got her nowhere!
"GIVE ME THE FUCKING SKITTLES!" Courtney cried, leaping at Lightning. She brought him down onto the floor, where they wrestled for the Skittles. Lightning won this feat, and just as he stood up, Courtney brought him down again with a swift but powerful kick to the balls. Every guy involuntarily cringed, especially Duncan, as Lightning fell to the floor holding them, releasing the Skittles. Courtney quickly snatched them up and ran out of the kitchen. She didn't stop until she reached her room yet again.
Courtney had herself a merry feast of Skittles while she resumed reading her book. After consuming the whole packet, she felt energetic, so she decided to burn it off by swimming in the pool. She changed into her swimsuit and got her towel. She noticed it was 4pm, so she decided to stay out until just before dinner.
As Courtney headed outside, she noticed that Cody, Sierra, Duncan and Harold were in the pool. She walked over to the pool.
"Excuse me, but can I use the pool, please? I want to swim some laps to burn some energy." Courtney asked. Cody, Sierra and Harold agreed and were about to get out when Duncan spoke.
"You can use it, but we're not getting out, Princess. It's our pool, too." Duncan smirked. Courtney felt her anger increasing. She could not afford to have an argument with Duncan. He could push every button with ease, and they both knew. She took a deep breath.
"Okay, fine. As long as you allow me space to swim the length of the pool." Courtney said, stepping into the pool. The pool was a warm temperature, which pleased Courtney. She did not want to swim in cold water.
She started her laps, doing freestyle to start off. After a couple of laps, she felt something hit her back. She stopped where she was to inspect the area. She saw a beach ball floating next to her. Scanning the faces around, she saw that Duncan was grinning directly at her.
"Duncan! Why did you throw this at me?" Courtney asked, holding up the beach ball. Duncan shrugged.
"Wanted to see if I could hit that fine ass with it. Now could I have that back?" Duncan smirked, winking. Courtney groaned.
"You're such an ogre." Courtney retorted, throwing the beach ball back to him. She resumed her laps, choosing to do backstroke. She watched the sky while she focused on swimming. There weren't many clouds, leaving the sky to be a nice blue. Suddenly she felt something touch her leg. She kicked at it and swam a distance away before she stopped again. When she looked at the area, she saw Duncan rubbing his shoulder.
"Princess, why did you do that? Do you kick at everything in the water? If that was a shark, you could have lost your leg." Duncan said to her. Courtney felt her anger rising.
"Why were you even there in the first place?" Courtney asked, crossing her arms.
"I was going to touch your fine ass, maybe cop a feel of your breasts…" Duncan told her slyly, grinning. Courtney saw red.
"You fucking pervert!" Courtney yelled, leaping at Duncan. Duncan's eyes widened before he found himself submerged. Courtney's hands went around his throat as they struggled underwater. They were suddenly pulled apart. As she resurfaced, she found Geoff holding her around the waist while Bridgette was helping Duncan back to the pool edge. She instantly started struggling against Geoff. "Let me go! I need to bring that pervert to his fucking watery grave!" Geoff only tightened his grip around her.
"No way, man, you need to chill." Geoff said, bringing Courtney to the shallow end. Now that her legs had greater mobility, Courtney kicked Geoff's shin before making another attempt at reaching Duncan. She quickly found herself being lifted out of the pool by Eva, who had jumped in.
"No! I need to kill him! Let me go, you fucking bitch!" Courtney screamed as Eva flung her over her shoulder and walked inside the hotel.
"Hell no. You need some alone time in your room. I'm going to get someone to bring you your dinner." Eva told her on the way to her room. Courtney sighed. She really wanted to kill Duncan…
When Courtney tried to open her door, she found that it was blocked by something. Indignant, she tried to kick down the door, but that didn't work. She wasn't about to go out the window, so she decided to just read her book. She wasn't calm enough, so she threw it across the room and instead decided to organise her room, then take a shower and lie down.
A few hours later, there was a knock at the door. Courtney raced over as the door opened to put her food in. It closed before Courtney could see who the person was, let alone for Courtney to escape. Courtney yelled after the person, calling them many colourful names that would make a sailor blush. She ate her dinner and lay down on her bed again. She quickly got bored so she decided to escape. She examined the door. After finding a weakness, she kicked it as hard as she could and the door slammed open, creating a lot of noise.
"Shit." Courtney cursed as she quickly ran towards an elevator. On the way, she passed DJ, whose eyes widened when he saw her. She tried to reach him before he said anything, but was too late.
"Everyone! She's on the loose!" DJ yelled at the top of his lungs, seconds before Courtney's flying kick connected with his chest, knocking him out cold when he hit the floor. Courtney resumed running towards the elevators. She heard footsteps from an adjacent corridor, so she hid in a corner. She watched, careful not to expose herself, as Beth, Sadie, Katie, Scott, Dakota and Brick ran past. As they passed, Courtney resumed running to the elevators.
"There she is!" Courtney heard, and looked behind her to see Gwen, Bridgette, Heather, Alejandro and Zoey a distance behind her. Courtney picked up her pace. She reached the elevators and quickly pressed the down button repeatedly.
"Come on, you stupid elevator! Work!" she hissed, watching her pursuers get closer. An elevator opened and she raced inside. The elevator doors started closing just as they reached her. Courtney smirked in triumph.
"Don't be so smug, chica. We'll still get you." Alejandro declared as the doors shut fully. Courtney was smart and, because the elevator indicated it was going to go down, chose a higher floor. As the elevator made its ascent, she pressed the button for the ground floor. When the elevator opened at the sixth floor, Courtney was fortunate that no-one was there.
She pressed the buttons for the elevator to close and for the first floor. She decided she was going to run the stairs, since she assumed there would be people waiting at the ground floor exit. The elevator descended and when she reached the floor and the doors opened, was surprised to see Jo, Lindsay, Mike and Sam standing there.
"Oh fuck." Courtney cursed as Jo grabbed her.
"Mike, come with me. You two, tell the others we got her." Jo ordered as she pressed the button for the third floor. Mike entered the elevator and grabbed Courtney as well. "It's back to your room for you." Jo chuckled as the doors closed.
Courtney was sitting in her room in the middle of the floor. Why? Because she had been bound to a chair there, courtesy of Jo. For some strange reason, Mike had rope. Courtney had struggled for several minutes, but had failed to even loosen the ropes.
"Damn, that bitch is good at tying her knots…" Courtney admitted. Suddenly, the window opened and Izzy entered her room. "Izzy?! What the hell are you doing here?" Izzy started to saw through the ropes with a knife she had.
"Izzy's helping you! They're not keeping you here for a good reason, right? Izzy doesn't like being trapped, so I thought the same for you." Izzy explained, finally cutting the ropes. Courtney got up and stretched her arms and legs.
"Well, thanks. I won't file that lawsuit, I guess." Courtney said, surprised at Izzy's words. "What's your plan?"
"It's simple, really. Izzy dresses up as Courtney and distracts everyone while you escape through the vents, and when Izzy leads them to you, you explain yourself. Sound good?" Izzy told her. Courtney was impressed.
"Sure, let's do it. Before I leave, make sure to kick that part of the door so it opens. Let's do this." Courtney said, pointing out the weakness in the door, before carefully opening her window and climbing out. She carefully sidled along the ledge. She saw Dakota and Sam down by the pool, cuddling.
At one point, she slipped and yelped. She stayed completely still as Dakota and Sam looked, but because it was quite dark, Courtney remained unseen. She wiped the sweat off her forehead before she continued, making it to the next window, which was fortunately open. When she entered the room, she saw it was Heather's, judging by the copious amount of makeup on the dressing table. Courtney rolled her eyes and decided to take a colour she particularly liked before she left the room.
She quickly spotted a vent entrance and pulled off the cover quietly. She hid it in Heather's room before she jumped into the vent. She crawled along, looking down other vent entrances to see where she was.
"It is so dusty up here…" Courtney commented as she crawled. As she passed another vent entrance, she noticed a group of people and stopped to watch. The group was Cameron, Mike, Zoey and Gwen.
"Did you see which direction Courtney went? The manoeuvres she pulled were insane…" Cameron said, seeming stunned. Courtney felt a tickle in her nose.
"Yeah, she jumped right over my head!" Zoey exclaimed. The tickle got stronger. She felt like she was going to sneeze…
"I'm surprised she got out of the rope. Jo's knots looked tight." Mike commented. Achoo! Courtney was able to keep her sneeze rather quiet, but it was still audible. The group looked around.
"Did you hear that? It sounded like Courtney." Gwen asked, looking down a hall.
"It sounded like it came from above us." Zoey commented, looking at the ceiling.
"Shit, they're going to notice the vent entrance…" Courtney muttered to herself.
"She must be upstairs. Let's go!" Mike said, walking down the hall. The others shrugged and followed him. Courtney breathed a sigh of relief.
"Thank gosh for that…" Courtney said, continuing to crawl. After a few minutes, she finally reached the elevators. She pushed the vent cover off, and in an impressive display, pushed herself out of the vent, rolled to prevent injury and managed to catch the vent cover to prevent it from crashing to the ground. She replaced the vent cover before summoning an elevator to go down.
Izzy must have them properly distracted, because no-one appeared while Courtney waits for the elevator. The doors opened and Courtney had to quickly hide in the stairwell as LeShawna and B exited the elevator. As the two walked down a hall, Courtney stealthily entered the elevator just as the doors were closing. B noticed, but he couldn't tell LeShawna verbally, only nudge her. Courtney pressed the button for the ground floor, hoping for the best.
When the doors opened, Courtney was glad to see that there wasn't an ambush this time. She entered the kitchen and decided to help herself to some leftovers while she waited for Izzy to lead everyone to her.
"She's headed for the kitchen!" Courtney heard before she heard the footsteps. It sounded like a stampede.
"When she said she'd lead everyone, she really meant everyone…" Courtney commented, impressed at how elusive Izzy is. A few seconds later, Izzy rushed into the kitchen, followed by everyone else a few seconds later. Izzy stood next to Courtney, and everyone paused when they saw what looked like two Courtneys. Izzy pulled off her hood, revealing her frizzy red hair, and everyone gasped.
"We were chasing Izzy the whole time?!" Eva exclaimed, and everyone groaned. Courtney stepped forward.
"Everyone, please stop! Think about what you're doing. Why did you even need to lock me in my room?" Courtney asked before anyone tried to seize her. Everyone looked at each other, looking for someone to speak. Duncan spoke, of course.
"You tried to murder me!" Duncan exclaimed. Everyone nodded.
"Yeah, but that was hours ago. Don't you think that I may have calmed down by now?" Courtney explained, and everyone looked confused.
"That's true…" Geoff said, scratching the back of his neck.
"But how were we supposed to know?" Gwen accused. Courtney felt irritated, but kept it down. It would be unprofessional to lose her cool now.
"If you hadn't noticed, I had calmed down by my next appearance, correct? And none of you asked, anyway." Courtney said, crossing her arms. Everyone mumbled among themselves, discussing Courtney's words. Bridgette stepped out of the group.
"Courtney, we're sorry for treating you like a criminal. Can you forgive us?" Bridgette said, and everyone say their own apologies. Courtney held up a hand, and everyone was silent.
"Okay, as long as you never force me to have to escape again. I'll sue you all if it comes down to that." Courtney threatened, and everyone eventually dispersed. Courtney decided to go back to her room. She was exhausted after all the running around.
When she reached her room, she saw that her room was messy from when Izzy was there. She also noticed that Izzy's clothes were still there. She chucked them out into the hall for Izzy to get later. She looked at the clock and saw it was now 10pm.
"About time for bed, I think." Courtney said, changing quickly into her pajamas and hopping into bed. She heard a knock on the door.
"Courtney? Do you want to like, play volleyball outside?" Katie's voice was heard.
"Yeah, do you? It's going to be so much fun!" Sadie exclaimed. Courtney started getting annoyed.
"That's totally what I was thinking!" Katie agreed. Courtney's anger built.
"EEEEE!" Katie and Sadie squealed. Courtney couldn't stand it anymore.
"Fuck off! I don't want to play!" Courtney yelled, and she heard Katie and Sadie scream as they ran down the hall. Courtney giggled as their screams got quieter.
"This was a really weird day… Everyone is so annoying." Courtney said before she drifted off to sleep.
Yep. Courtney got really mad. This was so fun. Please review and tell me if you would read anything like this again.
Until next time!