Summary: Kuroko liesurely writes in a journal but after an incident he now depends on it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroko no Basuke.




The name danced around.


Every morning, I'll wake before the sun rose and every morning I would take a run outside. It was a routine I had developed since high school. I don't know why I continue to practise so promptly, I was worried that maybe there was something wrong with me but I was told it was perfectly normal. I saw my family doctor last Thursday; he said it was rather healthy for me to stay so earnestly fit despite most adults my age. He was pleasantly surprised mostly by how I became so fit compared to my former lack of physical strength back when I was younger. I always tell him it was Basketball that changed me and he would smile fondly at me. It's been so many years since high school graduation. I still practise with the ball as often as I can but it gets hard when these days I've been really bothered. Honestly, I don't understand why I feel so bothered, I don't even know the cause of it.

Anyways, this morning I came back from my morning practise, my apartment was quiet as always. I turned on the TV to fill the empty noise, I was making breakfast when the news turned on.

"Kise, the Japan-born model and actor, was attacked by a crazed fan. He wasn't seriously injured, and is recovering in the hospital. More coverage after 6 this evening."

I felt panic when I heard that. I knew Kise.

It's been months since I last heard from him; ever since he started travelling to different countries for his profession…he hasn't contacted me. I want to go and see him but Kise is in America. I tried calling Taiga back in New York, but it seems he was busy because the call went to voicemail. I left a message with him, but I know that Taiga won't reply back. It's already late and he hasn't messaged back, he's been really busy back in America.

…I feel lonely.


Taiga called back.

"Kise's been doing well; he's uh not as injured as the media was saying. He only got a paper cut on his neck. He only went to the hospital for a regular checkup. That idiot is still alive, Kuroko."

I'm glad.

Entry 38

Koizumi-san asked me to go travelling with him to sign a contract with Mr. Thompson for collaboration. I honestly don't want to go; I don't do so well with travelling on planes. Koizumi-san didn't give me room to complain though; he knows I've been worried about Kise. Stupid boss. He's yelling at me to stop writing in my journal again. It's my free time so I'm getting as much written as possible.

He's sleeping on the seat beside me right now; I have time to finish writing. We're on the plane right now; we'll be arriving in Boston in a few days. I don't know if I'll be able to see Kise or Taiga while I'm there and I don't know what Koizumi-san plans with me coming. I don't think coming to America is going to change anything.


I hate my boss.

ENTRY 40 edit

Let me clarify some things, Koizumi-san read through my journals while I was in the shower. I walked in just in time to see him reading it, I don't which one he was on but I glimpsed that the screen had the entry about me worrying that Kise hasn't called me. He was saying I was overreacting when I threw my slipper at him. I only stopped hitting him, when he threatened to cut down my wages. That's the only thing stopping me from destroying him. Tch.

Anyways, since I know my stupid boss is reading off my shoulder, and he can't do anything about it because this is a personal journal that remember you made me do for whatever reason you had and made my doctor force me to do this so stop complaining and don't touch me you over grown child.

No, I'm not going to stop writing like this and no I'm not going to reply to you. Yes, I'm still mad. Aside from that, are you ready for the meeting, sir? Of course, I'm ready even though there's no point of me even being here. Let's go and eat dinner now, its late… fine, I'll be on speaking terms with you, just don't do whatever you're doing now.


The meeting went well. We're still tweaking out anything in the contract, so it won't be done for 2 more days. Koizumi-san said I was allowed to go sightseeing in the meantime, what was the point of me coming again? I think I'm a tourist on vacation, not a business-man. I had to leave my laptop back in the hotel room but I have my phone with me so I've been jotting down a lot of things. I haven't added them into the journal because it's really just separate. I might add them in later as an edit. This isn't my first time in the states, I've went a total of 5 other times? Mostly for leisure and basketball reasons. Maybe that's why Koizumi-san asked me to travel with him here, because I'm already accustomed to travelling here? Still, that's a pretty useless reason as I'm not doing anything business related. Screw it I'm adding those things right now.

-Right now, I'm at a coffee shop called "Starstucks" and they have a really tasty latte.

-There's a lot of excitement over some movie here, everyone is advertising it.

-There's a really interesting book I found, I bought it so I could read it later back in Japan.

I'm walking down the street and there's some commotion. I wonder what the problem is. Well, I should just leave it, it's not my problem. I'm not even from here.

-it sounds like a fight is breaking out

Koizumi-san just called me on the phone, he asked me toafjpgwqngweqpewgtijwgenf3 2r23'54'[23k35hv-

There was a pulse, slow and steady. The distance sounds of a soul crying out and music of life fluttering in the palms of destiny. Kuroko opened his eyes. No words filled his mind except for the pain his chest felt. He panicked silently, trying to sit up and see what was causing the pain. He couldn't bring himself to sit up, his panic grew. Kuroko turned his head and saw a man sitting to his left. He recognized the man. He called the man's name but no words left. He tried again, his throat was dry and ached at different levels but it didn't stop him from calling the man's name. Yet no words continued to leave him, he couldn't hear himself talk but the man before him didn't hear him either. He tried again, desperately trying to get his voice heard but he couldn't. His words were gone. Kuroko was scared, he couldn't sit up and he couldn't talk how was he going to get the man to see him? Kuroko shifted his eyes up and noticed a glass on a table stool beside the bed he was on. Kuroko struggled to lift his arm up and smacked the glass to the floor, he winched at the crash and spraying of water. The man who woke in shock, his eyes wide open, made contact with Kuroko's.


Kuroko's eyes brimmed with tears. Reality hit him, something went wrong and he doesn't know what happened.

Kuroko has stayed at the hospital for a week so far, the doctor had informed him that he had been involved in a gun shooting. It seems that Kuroko was at the wrong place at the wrong time, as the report had said. It was mere luck that Kuroko hadn't died, the bullet had just barely grazed his heart but the body went into shock. This shock, as the doctor had explained, led Kuroko to lose his ability to talk. Kuroko was able to walk as it was just a temporary loss; he just had to be careful with his speed. Kuroko sat up on his bed and stared out the glass window, the sun was brightly lighting up his room and he soaked up the heated gaze. He thought back to when he woke up, Kise was there. It wasn't a dream or a figment of reality, but he hadn't seen him since. The moment Kise woke up and noticed Kuroko being awake he had run out of the room with a vigorous force and the nurses and a doctor came into the room. Maybe it was someone else and he had mistaken the person? It's been quite a while since he had last saw Kise so it wouldn't surprise him. The thought made Kuroko feel lonely. Koizumi-san had come to see him some days ago; he had told Kuroko that they will be able to go back to Japan in a few more days. Their stay was extended due to the incident which Koizumi-san made sure to explain, "It's not your fault, Kuroko-kun, don't make that face."

Kuroko sat on his couch. It's not a surprise that the incident changed him. Before writing in the journal was optional, a past time to capture his days and thoughts. Now it's an essential part of his life. Koizumi gave Kuroko leave from work to settle down, he made sure to meet Kuroko every other day just to see how he was doing. Kuroko has thanked his boss countless times for being so kind, but Koizumi would just brush it off with a smile.

It's been a little over a month now, and Kuroko still couldn't speak. Kuroko's speak impairment was only temporary, a side effect from the shock of getting shot. His doctor was worried if there was something stopping Kuroko making any progress speaking, Kuroko began attending speech lessons but there was no improvements. His doctor speculated that it was more of a psychological reason, but Kuroko couldn't think of anything that might sound like that. To be honest, Kuroko gave up solving his problem. He didn't talk often to begin with so it eventually became easy to accustom to, though it wasn't good for his work. He wasn't able to speak to his coworkers if need be.

Two months have passed, Kuroko sat on his couch watching a horrible game show. The audience laughed and the music played, Kuroko's face was vacant. The door rang alerting Kuroko; he raised a brow wondering who it could be. Koizumi had already met him yesterday, had he forgotten something? Kuroko climbed off his couch and tiredly walked to the door, he opened it wondering out loud what Kozumi-san had left behind but was surprised to see Kise holding a rather large bouquet of roses.



"Uh...Can I come inside?"

Kuroko silently nodded his head, stepping to the side and allowed Kise to walk inside. Kise smiled at Kuroko and walked inside the apartment. He took off his shoes and started to chatter animatedly. "How are you, Kuroko? It's been a while since we last met right? I was really surprised to hear you were in America, I didn't expect that. You should…You should have told me! Then we could have hanged out and then you wouldn't have…Here, I got you these." Kuroko blinked at Kise's rapid speech, when was the last time he had heard his voice? Kuroko stared at the roses and tilted his head confused by them. He took them into his arms and stared at the individual petals. It felt cool and the smell fragranced Kuroko. 'It smells nice.'

Kise placed a hand to the side of Kuroko's face and leaned down to kiss his lips. "I'm sorry." Kuroko blinked before burrowing his face in the now slightly bruised roses. He swallowed in his tears. He couldn't say anything, the words wouldn't be heard. He breathed in softly as Kise rubbed his shoulder. "Kurokochii?" Kise smiled worriedly at Kuroko, as the roses covered his face from sight. He pulled him towards the couch and glanced at a notepad. He took it and nudged Kuroko to take it. "Tell me how you feel, please." Kise pulled the roses to the side and placed the notepad on Kuroko's lap and handed a pen he had in his shirt pocket to him. "Please." He pressed on.

Kuroko didn't look at him and easily scribbled the first thing that came to his mind and showed it to Kise. "I HATE YOU!" Kise gasped. "Eh? Kurokochii?" He held Kuroko on his shoulders and shook him. "What's that supposed to mean?" Kuroko pulled away from Kise and stood up as if to run but he quickly turned to face him. He had tears streaming down his face as he opened his mouth screaming a soundless cry. Kise frowned as he slowly moved to his feet and edged closer to Kuroko. Kuroko backed up shaking his hand at Kise, his words couldn't explain himself but his actions might. Kise understand vaguely that Kuroko would beat him up if he came too close but it wasn't going to stop him. It hurt his heart to see his beloved Kuroko unable to describe his emotions, he missed him. Kuroko had a way with words and that incident took away his ability. Kise tightened his fists and took a large step towards Kuroko and hugged him as tightly as he could so the other wouldn't try to escape. Kuroko struggled against Kise; he hadn't been keeping up with his daily exercises anymore and found it regrettable now. He mentally screamed, he didn't understand how difficult this would be. This was the first time in months he truly hated being unable to put his thoughts into words. He quieted down, giving up on fighting. He couldn't help but think this was truly pointless, he couldn't talk, and he couldn't speak the words he truly wanted to say.

"I've been holed up with the new movie series…Kurokochii, did you miss me?" Kise wondered out loud as he caressed Kuroko's messy hair. "I'm sorry." Kuroko leaned his head back and Kise expected to get a stink eye from him but instead Kuroko's face was sad and crying. He burrowed his head back into Kise's chest and stayed like that while Kise comforted him with words that he couldn't say anymore. Kise felt frustrated that Kuroko was suffering and he couldn't do anything at all to help. "You could have called me, Kurokochii!" He suddenly burst out, though he wished he didn't when Kuroko froze. He pulled back looking at Kuroko in worry. "…Kurokochii?" He widens his eyes when Kuroko's face was bright red as though he was embarrassed. Kuroko pulled his hands up and covered his face. Kise felt second-hand embarrassment as he leaned forward and deep kissed Kuroko. They pulled apart briefly before Kuroko kissed him back with more passion and deprivation. They breathed in deeply as they nipped at each other's lips. "Ku…kurokochii…I love you." Kise rushed at the end, ears red as he stared into Kuroko's glossed over eyes. He leaned forward and kissed the edge of his eyes as blue as the oceans. Kuroko sobbed in his throat and it tightened as he repeatedly said Kise's name praying that his voice will be heard.

"ki…kis…" Kuroko strained out. His eyes glowed as he heard his voice, albeit coarse, it was his voice nonetheless. He noticed Kise's excitement and tried again. "Ki..kise.." The excitement bubbled inside him as he continued. "I..l…lov…love…kis…e" Kuroko's eyes watered as his chest heaved a sudden relief as tears fell down his face. Kise smiled so wide. "I love you Kurokochii, I love your voice." He kissed him again and again, ever so gentle with each touch.

The following day, Kise had taken Kuroko to the doctor's and much to the doctor's relief Kuroko did in fact had a shock. Kuroko went back to the hospital frequently to practise speaking again, Kise went back to work but he made sure to call Kuroko even if it meant leaving a missed call or text.


Author Note: It went dramatic shoujo so fast...