700A/N: SURPRISE! I'll keep this short: I hate this story, I wrote most of it when I was 12-13 with no plan or plot, and it's low-key trash. That being said, too many people left positive reviews for me to delete it in good conscience (I understand the pain of losing a fic you love).
Ever since I started updating the rewrite of Dragons Speak again, this has been getting more views and reviews, and I decided to bite the bullet and write an ending. So, here it is-it only took like 10 years.
Harry turned and was greeted with a surprisingly ordinary face. A man of middling height with curly, dirty-blonde hair was standing before him, wearing a muggle suit and a mildly smug grin.
"Hecate, Darling, lovely to see you—as always. Hephaestus, I love the new cane." The God walked forward confidently and took a seat on the couch.
"Last I checked, you were supposed to be in Hades." Hecate remarked dryly, having recovered her wits after the shock.
"And I'm not sure I like what you just insinuated." Hephaestus added, leaning forward on his cane and looking the other God deep in the eyes.
Harry was over it.
He could buy Gods and Goddesses, sure. He could even believe getting chosen as a champion, because as ridiculous as it was, it was just the Potter luck. But having three Gods show up in his living room for some kind of messed up pissing contest over him? While actually ignoring him and his bondmate the whole time? He was annoyed as hell.
"Uh excuse me, but who are you?" Harry asked.
"'Arry!" Fleur gasped, clutching his arm. She was shaking slightly, and he could tell through their bond that it was from the pressure of the Gods' auras.
The new arrival just laughed. "I am Prometheus. I like you, though, and we're related, so you can just call me Gramps."
"You bastard!" Hephaestus jabbed out his cane. "You slept with my daughter? You actually seduced Thalia?"
"It was the other way around, really-"
"I'll kill you!"
"OKAY!" Harry roared, interrupting. Fleur whimpered beside him. "This is ridiculous." He turned to Hecate. "You were here first, so I'm rolling with first-come, first-serve. Also, I think our common goal of fixing this screwed up wizarding world is more important than some 20-times removed great grandparents." He turned back to the other gods. "Can you please leave? We can have our heart to hearts or whatever later, but this is excessive."
Hephaestus opened his mouth to protest, but Hecate waved a hand at him and suddenly he and Prometheus both disappeared.
"Thank you." Harry sighed to the Goddess as Fleur sagged against him. "Won't they be mad at you for that?"
"Yes, but they'll get over it. Plus, I think Hephaestus is busy trying to kill Prometheus, so I'm not too concerned."
Hecate stuck around for a while, in spite of Harry's not-so-subtle hints that she should leave. He got multilingualism, an eidetic memory, and metamorphmagus abilities out of it though, so he couldn't complain too much. Honestly—in the past week, he'd gotten a soul bond, a giant growth spurt, a magical inheritance, and a bunch of abilities. It was like some 13 year old fanfic author was writing crack and decided to overpower him or something.
The events of the day caught up with him eventually, though and he fell asleep leaned up against Fleur's side.
Harry woke up to the sound of a camera clicking and a grown man giggling. Of course the culprit was Sirius, who had found him and Fleur and decided to record their 'adorable slumber party.'
"Sirius, you're a grown man, get over it." Harry grouched, doing his best to stretch without disturbing Fleur. "Plus, you'll have plenty of other opportunities to catch us being 'lovey dovey cutesie wootsie.'" Really, the man used the most childish expressions.
"Actually, that's what I came to talk to you about." Sirius finally set the camera down. "I'm gonna take up Alain on that offer of asylum."
Harry sat straight up. "Really? That's great news!"
"Ugh, Five more meenutes." Fleur groaned as her pillow moved.
Harry leaned back in and put his arm back around the tired veela. "Sorry, Love, I got a bit excited there."
"Mmm, it eez okay." She stretched. "I 'ad the strangest dream, about you and the gods and-" her eyes flew open. "Wait, zat was not a dream! I only remember parts, zough…"
"No, I'm afraid it wasn't a dream." The young wizard sighed. Sirius just looked confused, and Harry resigned himself to filling both of them in. "How do you two feel about fixing the wizarding world for Hecate?"
"I steel don't understand 'ow you can be so blasé about three gods appearing, 'Arry." Fleur remarked when the couple was finally alone again. Harry, Fleur, Sirius, and Fleur's parents had all sat down for what Sirius had deemed a 'family meeting' to discuss the day's events and how they would move forward. Harry had ended up telling them all about the last three years of his schooling, as well, and Alain and Apolline were both completely appalled. Harry and Fleur were both bound to Hogwarts for the remainder of the tournament, however, so there wasn't much that could be done on that front. Well, for now.
"Technically, I think Prometheus is a titan." Harry remarked. "But honestly, I don't think it's actually the craziest thing that's happened to me."
Fleur swatted at his arm before sighing. "You 'ave been through so much, but no matter what 'appens you are kind and keep trying. I all but forced you into this bond—"
"Let me stop you right there." Harry said, turning to look into Fleur's eyes. "This thing happened because of a freak accident, but also because we cared for each other, at least a little bit. Plus, I sincerely doubt it would have taken if we weren't compatible. And," He hesitated before continuing, "Even without the allure affecting me, I've thought you were brilliant since the moment we met. Your smile lights up a room, and you have this energy that's just infectious, and you're sassy, and clever, and-"
Harry was cut off by a soft and slightly chapped pair of lips pressing against his own. He froze as his brain short-circuited. Fleur started to lean back, and Harry, realizing that he had been sitting there like a dead fish for their first kiss, leaned forward and recaptured her lips in his.
Their noses bumped more than once, and it was rather obvious that neither of them had much experience, but there was something wonderful about it all the same. Her lips moving softly against his, the feel of her hands on his shoulders, her thigh leaning against his, Harry could die right now and he would be a happy man.
Fleur pulled back breathlessly and leaned her head against his shoulder. "Was zat your first kiss?"
Harry reddened. "That obvious, huh?"
She smiled, "Eet was mine, as well. We will have to practice, I think, yes?"
Harry grinned, starting to regain his confidence. "They say practice makes perfect."
And practice they did. And, while they didn't quite achieve perfection, Harry privately thought they got pretty damn close.
British Government Jails and Tortures Innocent Man for 12 Years!
Sirius Black: The Man Who Was Framed?
Sirius Black granted Asylum by French Minister
Harry Potter's Godfather Tells All!
A pile of international newspapers was set on the table in front of Harry and Fleur, and each front page had a different iteration of the same news: Sirius Black was innocent. This news was, of course, accompanied by a series of articles detailing how the British justice system was in shambles, Fudge and his government were frauds, Azkaban was a violation of human rights and any country with a prison like that should be banned from the International Confederation of Wizards, etc. It was a scandal of epic proportions, so, basically business as usual for Harry.
The entire school was in an uproar about the news, and Snape had had a twitch in his eye ever since the owls had arrived with the first papers. Harry could feel all eyes on himself and Fleur, and the witch squeezed his hand from under the table.
"Shall we skip class today, 'Arry?" She asked, glancing at the mounting chaos around them.
"You read my mind." He said, squeezing her hand. He turned to Hermione, "Sorry to abandon you, 'Mione, but I don't think either of us will be able to get anything done today if we attend class."
"Well, classes aren't technically required for champions anyhow. Besides, I was planning on spending lunch and my free period in the library doing some research, so you're not really 'abandoning' me."
"Oh, then you will not be alone, yes?" Fleur smiled mischievously. "Zere is a certain Bulgarian wizard who has had heez eye on you in the library lately, no?"
Hermione blushed bright red and Harry raised an eyebrow at her. "You go, Glen Coco!"
"What?" Fleur blinked.
"Harry, that movie doesn't come out for another decade." Hermione chastised, still red-faced.
Harry and Fleur walked into their shared living quarters, only to be greeted by Cecile and Marie jumping apart from each other in a panic. Harry took a moment to survey the situation, noting their mussed hair and heavy breathing and slightly disarrayed clothing—oh.
"Sooo…" The wizard said, looking back and forth between the two girls. "How long has this been going on?"
"Er… About four months?" Cecile murmured bashfully.
"Four months and three days," Marie corrected, placing her hand on Cecile's thigh protectively.
"Cool." Harry said. "Right. Well, carry on then."
He and Fleur went to their shared room. "Zat was a very calm reaction, 'Arry." Fleur observed.
"Well, it would be a bit hypocritical if I got upset with them for kissing, wouldn't it?"
"What do you me-" She was cut off by a pair of lips covering her own. Fleur giggled into the kiss, wrapping her arms around Harry's neck. "Oh."
"Oh, indeed."
Things carried on in that vein until the First Task. Harry and Fleur started enjoying 'double date nights' with Marie and Cecile, which quickly evolved into 'triple date nights' once Viktor built up the courage to ask Hermione out. Even Cedric and Cho had joined them for one evening (Fleur called it 'champion bonding').
Sirius was pardoned, and Fudge's government took a hit. The scandal wasn't enough to depose him, but he expended most of the (little) political capital that he had trying to stay in office.
Harry's new eidetic memory proved to be incredibly useful, especially when reading up on dragons after receiving Hagrid's hint. He and Fleur had made sure that Cedric and Viktor also knew about the dragons, so as to even the playing field. Harry didn't intend to let the task go on the way that the game-makers intended, however, but he chose not to mention that to anyone but Fleur. Fighting dragons didn't exactly line up with the whole 'change how the magical world treats creatures' thing that he had been tasked with by a literal god, so… yeah.
Hecate leaned forward, interested to see what her champion would do.
"Ten bucks says he ends up in prison." Hephaestus said petulantly.
"You're just sulking because you landed on jail in the game and are in too much debt to get out." Prometheus said as he rolled the dice. "And with that, I land on Boardwalk, which I will buy." He moved his character and got up, walking toward the kitchen.
"We renamed it Diagon Alley, remember?" Hecate said, "And it's Azkaban, not jail." She called after him.
"Why did we theme this around the boy again?" Hephaestus asked, still sulking.
"Because mortals are boring 99% of the time and we needed something to do while we waited." Hecate snarked back.
"Speaking of which, the show's about the begin." Prometheues said as he walked back out with a bowl of popcorn.
Harry guilted Cedric into swapping dragons with him before the First Task so that he could go first. Normally, he'd feel bad about forcing the other boy to deal with the clearly much tougher Hungarian Horntail, but Harry had no intention of allowing anyone to face off against a dragon today.
He walked out of the champions tent when his name was called, immediately darting to the side and hiding behind a rock. He glanced over the top of the rock quickly, and sure enough he could see not only the Swedish Short-Snout, but the other three dragons behind another barrier. He took a deep breath before casting two spells in quick succesion.
The first spell was a minor compulsion. Everyone (and every creature) within a few hundred meters would suddenly have a minor craving for French cuisine. The second charm was the strongest vanishing charm he could muster, aimed at the chains and barriers. His magic had been wildly powered up ever since the author wrote him to be too strong, and he had no issue taking advantage of that.
Sure enough, it worked like a charm. Within seconds, all four dragons were free, scooping up their eggs, and on their way to visit their brethren in France for a quick bite to eat.
The crowd was speechless.
The officials were furious.
It was eventually determined that no legal action could be taken, as technically Harry's actions allowed him to retrieve the golden egg. The only issue was, his actions also allowed all the other champions to retrieve their eggs, too.
Ultimately, a three-way tie was declared between Viktor, Fleur, and Cedric, with Harry being placed in fourth with zero points.
He was 'devastated.'
"Hermione, you know trying to free them might not be the answer." Harry said thoughtfully as Hermione ranted once more about SPEW, "They're so incredibly brainwashed that they hate the thought. Have you considered rebranding?"
Hermione paused. "What do you mean?"
"What about... getting them to join 'House Elves Without Borders,' the organization by cleaners for cleaners?"
Hermione grinned as she started to catch on, "Where house elves can roam the earth, cleaning wherever and whenever their services are needed?"
"Exactly. Why only clean one house, when they could clean everything they want?"
"But it wouldn't be 'freedom,' of course." Hermione said, smiling fully now.
"No, no, of course not. That would be ridiculous."
Prometheus and Hephaestus were perched around the small game, focused.
"K4." Hephaestus said, stroking his chin.
"Miss."
"Damn it all to Tartatus!"
"Well, that's a bit insensitive." Prometheus sniffed.
"Oh... sorry." Hephaestus rubbed the back of his neck.
Hecate rolled her eyes. "The Second Task is starting, you idiots."
The officials were stunned. They had been convinced there was no way Potter could screw up this task. After all, what could the boy do to a lake?
The answer was: he removed it.
That was a bit of a stretch, actually. What Harry had done was give copies of current British creature laws to every group of sentient species in the lake, complete with a list of countries with much more favorable laws, along with a complimentary brochure for House Elves Without Borders (HEWB).
The merfolk had quickly decided to take a vacation in the Caribbean. The selkies were in Monaco, the grindylows in Canada somewhere (no one really understood why), and the Great Squid was living it up in Amsterdam. He was wildly popular there (I'll let you imagine why).
In the meantime, the house elves had taken over and decided to do a deep clean of all the creatures' homes, and had temporarily removed all the water in the Black Lake in order to do so.
The creatures were checking out places with much more favorable laws, the house elves were cleaning things that had never been cleaned before, and the hostages were quite safe on an unguarded wooden platform. Everyone was happy... except for the humans.
Once more, the Tournament officials tried to press charges against Harry. Once more, they found that they couldn't. One, they had no evidence it was actually Harry who had passed out the brochures. Two, the brochures had been passed out to more than just the inhabitants of the Great Lake. Copies had been distributed throughout the Forbidden Forest, in Hogsmeade, in all the major wizarding alleys, and in other magical hubs throughout the UK. Magical creatures were leaving in droves, and House Elves were cleaning things which had never been cleaned before.
Everyone but the humans was ecstatic.
"'Arry?" Fleur asked.
"Yeah, love?" They were nestled up on the couch. They had just finished another one of their double date nights with Cecile, Marie, Viktor, and Hermione.
"What do you want to do, when zis year is over?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well... you are enrolled 'ere, no? And you still have three years left, but I weell graduate..."
"Fleur," She looked at him. "Do you really think I have any intention of being separated from my bondmate?" He asked in French.
"Non," She said, "But I do not want you to 'ave to leave your friends and your country."
"Fleur, if I could abandon Britain right now I'd do it with a smile on my face and a bird on my hand." He said as jokingly flipped off the sky.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
"Seriously?" Harry asked his godfather, "And DON'T make that pun again, or I swear to god I'm unleashing Dobby on you."
The aforementioned godfather stuck out his tongue, only mildly upset he didn't get to make his favorite joke. "Yeah. I checked, and it's legit." Sirius had found something called a horcrux at his family home, and a bit of research had proven that a) it was Voldemort's and b) it probably wasn't the only one. Sirius had destroyed the one he'd found, and now he and Harry were discussing a game plan for how to get rid of the rest.
"I 'ave an idea." Fleur said.
"Shoot." Sirius replied.
"Most wizards don't 'ave a lick of common sense, especially not English ones. No offense."
"None taken." The two men chorused.
"So why not summon zem?"
"..."
"..."
"I can't believe neither of us thought of that." Harry finally said.
"I can." Sirius sniffed, "My brain was rotted in prison for twelve years, what's your excuse?"
"I'm fourteen."
"Psh. You have a god-enhanced eidetic memory."
"Shut up."
And it did indeed work. Voldemort had layered his horcruxes in so many protections that he had forgotten the most crucial and most basic one: anti-summoning. Harry's enhanced powers plus Fleur's veela fire magic meant that soon the bits of Voldemort's soul were nothing more than charred bits of destroyed historical artifacts.
"Hey Fleur?"
"Yes?"
"Do you think we could someone Voldemort, too?"
"...mon dieu."
And with that, the Dark Lord of the wizarding isles was defeated in what was perhaps the most anticlimactic 'battle' in history.
Prometheus and Hephaestus grumbled as they forked over the gold to Hecate. "I told you they'd think of it eventually." The goddess gloated.
By the time the Third Task rolled around, approximately 90% of Britain's magical creature population had emigrated. The few that were left refused to participate, and the night before the task the officials finally conceded that they would just have to have a very difficult maze.
...except by the time they went to the Quidditch pitch the next morning, House Elves Without Borders had already cleaned up that mess. The maze, which had taken months to grow, had been cleaned up and turned back into a pristine pitch in one night. Tournament officials and Oliver Woods alike sobbed, though for vastly different reasons.
The officials quickly changed tactics and declared a four way duel, only to be met with a different challenge.
"What do you mean, no?" Ludo Bagman asked in alarm.
"Ve mean no." Viktor said, crossing his arms.
Cedric nodded beside him. "Yeah, we were told to prepare for a maze, not a duel. It's not our fault you failed to give us a maze."
"And a four-way duel? Could you be any more vague?" Fleur piped up.
Harry just smiled.
And with that, the first ever three-way tie of the Triwizard Tournament was announced as all four of the champions all refused to participate in the final task.
Somehow, Harry still came in last place, but he wasn't too bothered.
"Blackout!" Prometheus yelled as he filled the final square on his Harry Potter bingo card. "I told you he'd find some way to come in last!"
Hecate rolled her eyes. She was a bit sore at losing to Prometheus. Her final square had been Harry getting kidnapped and ending up in a battle for his life, but so goes. At least her champion had succeeded in improving creatures' lives, though a mass exodus wasn't exactly what she'd had in mind when giving him the task.
Oh well, such is life.
Or, as they say in France, ce la vie.
Fin