Rule 14. Ukes ooze pheromones. Chances are you can't sense them; equip all possible aggressors among your underlings with gas masks just in case.

"Bonjour, mon ami! Gilbert and I have come to take you drinking with us! You need to get out of the house more often, watching you slowly waste away from sexual frustration is, in a word, tragique! Maybe one of these days we'll convince you to bring your petit Romano along ~ Antonio, aren't you going to let us in?"

France's expression became even more confused as Spain shoved rubbery into his hands.

"What's this?" Gilbert asked, lifting the contraption between his thumb and forefinger to inspect it.

Spain smiled apologetically, before setting his features, adopting a stern expression.

"Lo siento, mi amigo, but I'm afraid I cannot let you in the house unless you put this on."

"What, are you fumigating the place or something?" Gilbert let out a short laugh, before cutting off, eyes widening in slight panic as he watched Spain pull a similar one over his own head a tug it resolutely into place. "Wait, where's mine?"