Trouble Maker
By: Paramour Party

Derek frowned and turned to Prentiss at the desk beside him. "Do you think Garcia is giving me the cold shoulder or am I just reading into things incorrectly?" he asked.

He could see Emily roll her eyes. "She's giving you the cold shoulder." Her response was curt and firm and she didn't look away from her files.

With a quick kick off from his desk, Spencer rolled over to the pair. "She's even refused to give you her freshly baked cookies," he added, "your favourite chocolate ones too."

"I don't know what I did wrong." Derek dropped the file he was looking over with a sharp snap. Crossing his arms over his chest, he leaned back into his chair in contemplation. "I've thought back to the last month and nothing comes into mind."

"Maybe you should think about what you haven't done," Prentiss said.

Derek eyed her and then Spencer. "You know something," he said with narrowed eyes. They both shrugged.

"But your chance to ask is here and now," said Spencer as he nodded towards Penelope whom had just walked into the bull pen.

The colourful Tech Analyst walked towards them with a familiar silver tin of cookies in her hand. She smiled kindly at Emily and Spencer, yet narrowed her eyes at Derek.

"Coffee break?" she asked as she held out her tin in offering. Emily and Spencer helped themselves to free double chocolate chip cookies and grinned at Derek who didn't bother to try and get one.

The four of them stood to walk to the break-room and prepped the coffee machine for a fresh pot of energy.

After a moment of silence Derek snapped. "Okay. That's it. I'm tired of this cold shoulder Baby Girl. I'm no psychic. What did I do wrong?"

Penelope's eyes seemed to sharpen and she frowned. She poked a finger on Derek's chest. "A month, Derek. We've been waiting for a month to meet your little girlfriend. Even your bomb squad met your girl before us all! I thought we were family! You're supposed to bring your girl around to meet the family!" She pouted.

Derek blinked while Spencer and Emily shared a laugh.

"Seriously? You've denied me cookies and gave me the cold shoulder because I haven't introduced you to Hermione?"

Penelope had a hand over her heart like she was trying to hold a wound closed. "How can you say it like it doesn't matter?"

Rossi, who had walked into the room with Hotch, just rose a brow at the dramatics. Hotch on the other hand had a rare small amused smile on his face but a secret in his dark eyes. JJ was quick to follow behind the pair, munching on a cookie. "Did I miss the show?" she asked.

Derek frowned at the fact everyone seemed to be in 'the know' on the girlfriend-cold shoulder issue. He didn't know why it surprised him to be honest, but to cover that he stood, hands on hips in what he hoped everyone read as "Alpha Male" instead of "hiding". He heard Hotch whisper to JJ that the show was probably just about to kick off. He nearly scoffed. They wanted a show? Dramatics? Fine, he'll give it to them.

"Well just to inform you, Rossi, who is a part of this family, has met Hermione," he declared. "So don't go saying she didn't."

A surprised silence fell over the room, Penelope, Spencer, JJ, and Prentiss staring at Rossi with a mixture of shock and betrayal. Hotch his a smirk behind his coffee mug while Rossi pinched the bridge of his nose, counting down for the explosion. 5…4…3…2—


Rossi sighed. "Listen, it was all by chance that I met Hermione," he said with his hands raised in defence.

"You should have insisted we meet her too!"

Rossi shared a look with Derek and shrugged. "Ask him," Rossi said throwing Derek under the bus.

"Thanks," he grumbled.

"You're welcome," Rossi replied.

"Am I the only one curious to know how Rossi managed to meet Derek's girlfriend before the rest of us?" Prentiss asked as she reached for another cookie from the tin.

"So are we confirming that Derek has a girlfriend?" asked Spencer amused.

"No! I just want to meet her. Don't think I can't just pull up her address and march over there!" Penelope said ignoring everyone else while JJ wondered out loud if Derek ever introduced them to a girlfriend before.

"Okay! Fine. I'm dating someone, and you can finally meet her. Just stop with the joking around and talking behind my back already," he said looking a little embarrassed and he tried to cover it with an eye roll. "Hermione should be back in town this weekend. We could… we could plan something out."

Penelope grinned, grabbing Derek into a hug with an excited squeal. "I have more cookies in my lair, come let's plan!" she said pulling him out of the room. "Does she like cookies? Or cupcakes? Or is she more of a muffin person?"

The rest of the team watched them amused for a moment before Prentiss turned her attention back to Rossi. "When did you meet her anyway?" she asked.

"What's she like?" Spencer piped in.

Rossi stared them down hoping they'd take it as a silent 'wait and find out', but when Prentiss merely rose a brow and crossed her arms over her chest expectantly, and JJ reached for another cookie like it was popcorn, he rolled his eyes.

"I met her two week ago. Remember when Derek left his car at home? We had to do a little detour."

"Detour?" asked JJ.

Rossi just shared an exasperated look with Hotch.

Two Weeks Earlier

Derek got into the passenger side of Rossi's car and stifled a yawn. "Hey, thanks again for giving me a lift home, I would have asked Garcia but I know it's date night for her."

"Don't worry about it," Rossi said as he settled into his own seat and started the car. "Want to grab bite before heading out? I don't know about you but I'm too lazy to cook tonight."

Derek nodded and the two set out to the usual spot. "Sounds good."

When they were seated and served their food there was a moment of comfortable silence between the two before Rossi cleared his throat. "So…"

Derek paused from his bite. "So?"

"I'm assuming things between you and your girl are going good? You're less pouty."

Derek scowled. "I'm not pouty." He looked up at his co-worker trying to read his expression, but Rossi had always been good at poker.

Rossi ignored his comment. "Want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about."

Rossi rose his brow and smirked before he hid it with his glass. "Well, after Garcia had her talk with you, you're pretty much free game on the girl-talk." He got an eye-roll in response. "I also had a very interesting talk with John. I think you know him. He said he was your Team Leader when you were on the B-squad."

"Gossips. All of you." Derek turned to aggressively cut into his meat.

Rossi rose his hands in defence. "Italian," he said. "Besides I just find it amusing that there's a woman out there who can get Derek Morgan tongue tied."

"You and everyone else," Derek mumbled.

Rossi chuckled. "When are we going to meet her?"

"She's out of town."

"Now you're just being stubborn. Are you going to at least stop hiding her?"

Derek's eyes widened. "Hiding her? I don't hide her."

Rossi scoffed. "Yes, that's why we have never heard, from your lips, that you're seeing someone. We have a name because you get messages from her often enough, but nothing concrete. You can't not know how curious the team is."

Derek frowned pointing his fork out. "Hey. We waited months for JJ to open her mouth about her relationship."

"Yes. So why should we wait months about yours?" Rossi asked before returning his attention back to his own food. "Just something to think about. Besides. You might want to think about what Garcia would do to you."

"How bad could it be?"

"How bad indeed…"

They were just getting into Rossi's car when Derek's cell phone started ringing. He pulled it out of his pocket and stared at the UNKNOWN NUMBER written across his screen.


[Hello? Derek? It's Hermione]

Derek paused and pulled the phone away from his ear to glance at the screen. "Hermione?" he asked. "Is everything okay?" He glanced at Rossi with a worried look on his face.

She didn't answer right away but she must have covered the microphone because whatever she said was muffled. [Derek? I'm so sorry to call you so late. I know you just got back from a case but these people are so bloody annoying. I need a favour.]

"What do you need? Is everything okay?"

[Yes. I'm fine.] she said, [I said I'm bloody fine stop that!] Derek assumed the second part wasn't for him but it worried him that she sounded so stressed out. [Anyway, I'm sorry if this is out of the way for you. Could you maybe sign me out and go home with you?]

"Wait. Sign you out? From where? Where are you? Are you sure you're okay?"

[Oh, sorry. I'm at the Mil Rose Clinic. There was an accident at work, my other emergency contact is here too so they were ruled out and I didn't want these bloody idiots calling you and having you worry for no reason.]

Derek gave out a weak chuckle. "No offence Hermione, but telling me that you need to be signed out of the clinic doesn't actually reassure me. I'll be there soon though."

There was a sigh of relief on her end. [Thank you so much, I owe you one.]

Derek glanced at Rossi at the end of the call. "Looks like you're getting your wish?" he said.

Rossi smirked. "Sounds like you have quite the girl on your hands."

"Just drive."

When they pulled up to the clinic thirty minutes later, Derek was rushing out of the car while Rossi followed at a slower pace. Instead he took in his surroundings and wondered why Derek's girlfriend was in the military district.

As Rossi entered the clinic Derek was talking to a nurse and filling out some paper work and he could hear a bit of a ruckus at the end of the hall.

"I'm not a bloody invalid!"

Derek's head snapped up at the voice and Rossi had to wonder what kind of girl his coworker was dating. Definitely a firecracker that was for sure. The noise was getting louder and three people turned the corner of the clinic. There was one nurse and one doctor, judging from the uniforms, and a short woman struggling between them.

Rossi blinked at the short woman with the messy curly hair. This was Derek's girl? She had her left foot wrapped in a blue brace and her right wrist as well. She pulled her arm out of the nurse's hold and stumbled slightly but glared when the nurse tried to come closer. "I can bloody walk on my own. And if I want to bloody visit Rob I can bloody well visit his room without the use of a wheelchair. Someone else in need of one can use it instead," she huffed. She pointed at the doctor with her good hand, "And you. Be sure to contact me as soon as he wakes up. I don't want to hear three hours after he wakes up, I don't want to hear about it when visit hours are open. The moment he's awake I know."

The accent was a surprise. Rossi's brow rose at the intensity in the woman and glanced at Derek who walked towards her with worry. He didn't seem to be surprised by her outbursts. He stayed back and watched their interaction.

"Hermione, what happened?"

"Oh thank god." The woman reached out and hugged him. "Like I said, small accident at work. It happens. I just want to go home." She waved it off with her good hand.

Derek frowned at her bruises and the wraps on her limbs. "You said your current project had no risks. This is the second time in almost as many months that you sprained something."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Don't talk to me about the dangers of the job. Yours is by far more dangerous. Besides, it's not my project that ended us up in here. I was consulting on Rob's." She didn't elaborate. "Besides, you know I heal fast. This is nothing."

Derek frowned. "Stubborn," he said but his tone was full of affection. Hermione grinned up at him. He pulled her close and pressed a soft kiss on the side of her temple that didn't have a bruise. He blushed slightly when he remembered Rossi was standing there with an amused look on his face. "Hermione, this is my coworker, David Rossi. Rossi, this is Hermione. Why don't you… talk while I finish the release forms." And with that he was out.

Hermione had a slight blush on her face. Rossi guessed it was partly because of her behaviour and probably from his unexpected presence. "He just left me to the wolves—or wolf in this case— didn't he?" she asked him with a smile. She held her hand out to him. "I've heard so much about you Mr Rossi, I'm Hermione Granger."

Rossi, not quite surprised by her firm handshake, smiled. "Pleasure, Ms. Granger. I'm afraid the team hasn't heard much about you."

She didn't seem upset by that and merely grinned with a slight shrug. "Hermione, please. Ms Granger throws me back to my school days and makes me feel like I'm about to get scolded. And I'm not surprised Derek's been tight-lipped. You are profilers," she said as though that explained everything. "I'm sorry we had to meet this way though. If I knew you were having boys' night I would have tried a different tactic to get released."

Rossi chuckled in amusement. Derek sure has his hands full. A trouble-maker? Who'd have thought? "How'd you meet Morgan?" he asked curiosity getting the better of him.

Hermione laughed. "Well, Derek pretended to read a book beside me for almost fifteen minutes without turning a page. Needless to say, I figured he wasn't in the history section for a book."

The two chuckled together and when Derek found them that way he couldn't help but feel nervous at their sudden camaraderie. "Nice to see you both being so buddy-buddy."

Hermione kissed Derek's cheek and gave Rossi a wink. "Isn't he cute when he pouts?"

Rossi laughed.

"I don't pout." Derek sighed.


I apologize this is so late. Real life got super crazy. But I won't get into that.

Hopefully you enjoyed this! I wanted to show another side of Hermione and figured it's about time we introduce her to the BAU.

As an apology I'm did a mass post this evening~ (Shameeeeelesssss plug)

Aside from this Novelty update, I have another Derek/Hermione One Shot posted called "First Time"— I wrote it for Mistra Rose for being my 100th reviewer here!

The other post is a new short (3 parts), another crossover. So if you're into Twilight or Imprint stuff check out my piece Kismet. It's a Hermione/Paul fic.

Until Next Time!