Hey all! Chapter 5 is now here! Awesome, huh? Hope you enjoy, and don't forget to review!...SERIOUSLY. DON'T. I'M WATCHING YOU.


"LAST TIME ON TOTAL DRAMA HEROES VS VILLAINS!" Chris barked. "There was a lot of drama within the Heroes, what with Jo being a bitch to Brick and Brick being too much of a pussy to stand up for himself, Courtney butting in trying to help Brick and stuff and Harold being annoying as usual. Oh, and Heather was snooping around the Villains team because she was pissed that Alejandro was eliminated. Not important. Any-who, we had an obstacle course that started off with giant pancakes laced with booby traps... and some marijuana too, which had not calmed down any of the contestnats... they must've barfed it up in the surprise challenge, which lead to the Heroes winning the second time in a row! Heather found out who the evil mastermind behind Alejandro's elimination was, but voted out Scott for some reason. Not that I'm complaining, Scott was boring this season, and Fang was too busy attacking the interns to fix that. So yeah, so long Scott! Who will Heather eliminate next before she finally eliminates her target? Will Courtney finally get Jo to leave Brick? Not without her lawyers, no. Will Gwen and Zoey continue to fight? Hopefully. It's getting to the point where a cat fight is inevitable." Chris noticed the cameraman staring at him. "Hey you can't blame me? I'm horny. So what? Just find out, right here, on Total... Drama... HEROES VS VILLAINS!"


The next morning in the male loser cabin, Duncan and Noah were trying to sleep. But Lightning was snoring loudly.

"Sha-snore... sha-snore... sha-snore..." Lightning snored.

"Seriously!" Noah finally groaned. "He even says 'sha' before every time he inhales in his sleep! How is that even possible?"

"I'm just surprised I was able to at least get SOME shut-eye!" Duncan retorted.

"If he's not eliminated tonight, then feel free to hit him over the head before bedtime," Noah advised. "I normally don't condone violence - well, I don't condemn it either, once it doesn't involve me at the receiving end of it - but a knockout would do us some good."


(Confessional:)

Duncan: "That guy, Noah, is a sociopath," Duncan glares. He pauses as the camera shakes horizontally. "What? Thinking I'm a hypocrite, are ya? Well maybe this fist could help you to think differently!"


Noah: "A lot of people think I'm a sociopath," Noah laments. "Well, try staying sane while you're on an island full of people who molest cameras for reasons I don't want to know. I've seen dents on this camera before, and none of them were this big."

(End Confessional.)


"I'm going to see what the girls are doing." Noah sighed. "Surely hanging out with them has to be more fun then listening to Lightning snore all morning."

"Have fun." Duncan put his headphones in. "I'll see you at challenge time."

"You don't want to see your girlfriend?" Noah smirked. "That's surprising."

"Hell no." Duncan told him. "It's Zoey and Gwen and I'm pretty sure Zoey's nuts and I'm still not 100% sure about Gwen and I know Heather's nuts and Courtney's a bitch. I'm not hanging out with any of them and don't even get me started on Doris."

"Whatever." Noah walked out of the cabin leaving Duncan alone with Lightning.


(Confessional.)

Duncan: I learned one thing from being on this show so long. All the chicks here are nuts and if you think they're bad when the cameras are rolling then you should see how it is when the cameras are turned off. No thanks! I'll stay here with my music because music isn't fucking insane.

(End Confessional.)


Back at the resort with the heroes, Courtney was the first one to go outside that morning and the water actually looked peaceful and the island wasn't half bad when Chris wasn't making them do crap for money on it. Courtney's nice morning was ruined however when Jo flung the door open and ran out on the porch.

"Woah! Check out the weather today!" Jo cheered. "It's the perfect morning to run around the lake a couple of times and then do a couple laps in the water! You want to race? I bet I could beat you."

"No. I'm good." Courtney laughed. "If I'm not getting immunity or money for it then it's not happening. If you want to work out and be tired during the challenges then that's your problem, not mine."


(Confessional:)

Courtney: So there I was just enjoying something on this island for once and then Jo had to come out and ruin the peace and quiet.

(End Confessional.)


As Jo ran out to exercise Courtney thought she could get back into her mode of relaxation but she was proven wrong when Brick and Harold came walking outside and started talking about Harold's mad skills, this annoyed Courtney because Harold was standing way to close to her and invading her personal space.

"Do you two mind?" Courtney glared at Harold. "Do you understand personal space, Harold?"

"Yeah, I do." Harold told her. "But you don't own this porch so it's not actually yours and you have to share this space. It's not your own personal space Courtney! Gosh you're such an idiot!"

"Maybe we should give her some space?" Brick suggested. "Courtney, would you like to go for a walk with me?"

"No thanks." Courtney told him. "It's almost 10:00am and Chris should be starting a challenge soon, he always does so I think I'm going to save my energy for then."


(Confessional.)

Brick: I really wanted to take a walk with Courtney just the two of us to thank her for sticking up for me the other day but I think Harold ruined it.

(End Confessional.)


"Suit yourself." Brick shrugged. "I'm off to go exercise...on the other side of the island of Jo." He jogged off screen.

"Ah, some peace and quiet...finally!" Courtney sighed, reclining on the porch. She was interrupted by Harold's loud breathing. She shot him an annoyed glance.

"Can you do that somewhere else?" She asked, irritated.

"Gosh. Fine." Harold said dejectedly, walking towards the Mess Hall.


In the Mess Hall Zoey was currently eating breakfast while Gwen was glaring at her from across the room. Noah was sitting next to Gwen, watching the goth's glares with an amused expression.

"Why the Uchiha stare?" Noah asked, inwardly chuckling at his own joke.

"Nothing you'd care about." Gwen spat, still glaring at Noah.

Noah rolled his eyes and shut up.


(Confessional.)

Noah: I swear, you try to be nice to these people...no wonder people think I'm a sociopath! Everyone else is letting their hormonal instincts make them all emotional wrecks!

(End Confessional.)


Meanwhile, Heather was sitting on the table behind the Villains, glaring at Noah, who had his back against her. She gritted his teeth in anger whenever there was no food in her mouth.


(Confessional.)

Heather: "Noah is so going down!" Heather scoffs. "He just flatout voted out Alejandro right behind my back! He will pay for this tonight. I am going to make sure that the Villains lose. And WHEN they lose, I am going to make sure that Noah is the next to go. By getting Zoey and Gwen to vote out Noah instead of each other, and tricking Lightning into doing the same, the only problem is HOW to sabotage the Villains without breaking the rules and getting disqualified because of a technicality."

(End Confessional.)


Harold walked into the mess hall and just stood there. Gwen, Zoey, Noah and Heather looked up from their breakfast and noticed him staring at him.

"What do you want, Harold?" Gwen groaned.

"Did you know that pound for pound, bone is stronger than steal?" Harold gabbed.

"Lucky for you that you're not made of steel," Heather glared.

"Did you know that people our age should have seven to nine hours of sleep?" Harold gabbed.

"Gee, I wonder why I went to bed at 11pm last night?" Noah rolled his eyes.

"Did you know that Chef Hatchet's forename is-"

Chef threw a knife at Harold, who just narrowly dodged it. "Don't. Finish. That. Sentence. BOY!" he breatheed. The knife landed in the crotch of an intern who happened to be passing by.

"Chef, do you know where Chris is?" Noah sighed. "I want to get this day over with."

"You have a long ass wait." Chef laughed. "Chris is sleeping in his cabin and ya'll ain't gonna bother him!"

"He's sleeping?!" Heather demanded to know. "You've got to be kidding me!"

"Someone should wake him up." Harold told everyone. "Did you know that sleeping during the day is the best way to start a bad sleeping habit?"

"Good Sha-morning!" Lightning stormed in the dining hall. "That was one of the best sha-sleeps I've had in awhile!"

"It's not morning anymore, it's almost noon." Noah laughed.

"Oh! That explains why I slept well." Lightning announced.

"So what the heck are we supposed to do all day while we wait for Chris?" Heather asked Chef.

"I don't even care." Chef told her. "The challenge is tonight so I suggest going the hell to bed!"

"I can't see well in the dark!" Harold announced.

"I think that's kinda the point." Noah rolled his eyes. "I guess I'm going to take a nap before this thing starts."

"Yeah, all the better to cross people when you're well rested." Heather glared at Noah.

Noah begin to feel uneasy when he noticed that Heather was glaring at him.


(Confessional.)

Noah: "Crap! Heather knows!" Noah curses. "F**K!"


Heather: "That stare Noah has given me shows that he knows I'm coming after him," Heather smirks. "Too bad for him he'll never know when it will hit him.


Noah: "Well I guess now that Heather knows, I should at least try harder in challenges and make sure my team doesn't lose," Noah shrugs. "If that doesn't happen, well, I could always throw somebody under the bus."


Lightning: "Nothing like a nice sha-sleep!" Lightning beams. "Sha-LIGHTNING!"

(End Confessionals.)


"ALRIGHT CAMPERS! MEET ME AT THE CAMPGROUNDS IN FIFTEEN MINUTES!" Chris barked, six hours later.

At the campgrounds, everyone was pissed off at Chris as he started off the challenge. "Today's challenge will involve a treasure hunt, like last season," Chris announced, ignoring all of the glares he was receiving. "But you must race to the other side of the island while you're at it! You also need to be present with your whole team when you cross the line!" Chris yelled. "If you don't have everyone then you'll lose! Pay attention to that moon! It's like reddish and pinkish and it has strange powers! It makes you act all cray-cray! So get movin' and don't take all day-day!"


(Confessional.)

Jo: Do you know who makes bad puns? Chris! People say my zingers are bad but he's worse then they think I am.


Heather: The woods is dark at night and Chris didn't give us a flashlight! If I can't see then I cam accidentally on purpose shove Noah's ass into the river!


Gwen: I like the moon, it's kinda romantic! Maybe Duncan and I can get a few minutes to ourselves.


Zoey: Ever since I got into these woods Gwen has been giving me dirty looks and I hope I didn't do anything to upset her! My Mind has been cloudy and all over the place lately!

(End Confessional.)


"I think we should go to the right!" Courtney suggested. "The Villains are going to the left so it's the smartest choice."

"I think we should follow the others and destroy them one by one!" Jo yelled.

"I agree with that plan." Heather laughed.

"I think we should go to the right." Brick agreed with Courtney

"Great then you go with Courtney that way and Jo and I will see you at the finish line!" Heather yelled.

Guys? What about me?" Harold asked, pushing his glasses on his nose. "Did you know that generally if you pick the same route as your opponents that you have a better chance of winning."

"Good!" Courtney quickly said, shoving the nerd into Heather and Jo. "Then you go with them! C'mon Brick!" The two sped off into the woods.

"Bitch." Jo growled as Harold started gabbing.


"We're going this way." Gwen spat, grabbing Duncan and dragging him away.

"Fine by me." Noah rolled his eyes. "It's better for me to go alone anyway."

"Oh no, 'we're' includes you." Duncan said, shooting Noah a fearful glance and gesturing with his eyes at Zoey, who merely looked confused.

"Why don't we all go together?" The redhead asked curiously. "I mean, that would make more sense so we wouldn't get split up and one of us get lost."

"Sure, sure." Gwen hissed. She glanced at Duncan. "Let's go by ourselves, please?"

Duncan melted under his girlfriends gaze. "Okay, fine." He sighed.

"Okay...wanna go together?" Zoey asked Noah, who looked alarmed.

"Uh, no thanks, Stalkerlicious V2." Noah snarked. "I'd rather have meat for brains."

"Lightning took off into the woods about five minutes ago." Duncan called back as he left with Gwen.


(Confessional.)

Zoey: What the heck is going on? My mind is all foggy and Mike is gone! I'm on the Villains and Duncan and Gwen seem to hate me. *She shows the camera a small hole on her neck.* Also, this hole is really sore and I'm just so darn confused! I need some answers.

(End Confessional.)


"Listen, I really appreciate you helping me out with Jo and all," Brick told Courtney.

"You needed it though," Courtney replied. "It's not that you can't stand up to women, but it's just that you won't. I know you said you don't want to talk about it, but I think it would be good to get it off your chest."

"But I don't want the world to know," Brick protested.

"I can see to it that Chris does not air the conversation between you and me," Courtney assured him. "I have lawyers. Besides, I don't think Chris's target audience would be interested in anything that does not involve violence, toilet humour or the like."

Brick sighed. "Well... okay, I'll tell you," he sighed. "But you cannot tell anyone."

"You have my word," Courtney patted Brick's shoulder.


"Great," Noah groaned. "I'm stuck with you two."

"Sha-Lightning is the only one who is sha-stuck!" Lightning scoffed at Noah. The camera pans out to show Lightning stuck in quicksand.

"No, I meant- forget it," Noah rolled his eyes.

"We should help Lightning get out of there," Zoey said. "Not only though we need our whole team, but we can't leave another person for dead."

"So you'd help out even if Gwen was stuck in quicksand?" Noah rolled his eyes.

"Of course I'd help Gwen, why wouldn't I?" Zoey asked.

"Like you don't know." Noah laughed. "It's fine by me though. I could care less what happens to any of you. If someone died during a challenge that would just mean it's one less person I have to compete with to win this thing."

"That's not a very nice way to win the game." Zoey told him. "If I win this I want it to be because I'm the best and I would never sabotage Gwen in any way."

"I like your game." Noah admitted. "Sweet innocent act. You do it so much better then Heather did in season one."

"Can you please help the Sha-ightning!" Lightning yelled.

"Yeah, I guess." Noah sighed and walked over to help him.


(Confessional.)

Zoey: What is Noah talking about?

(End Confessional.)


"This is annoying!" Gwen turned around and glared.

"Yeah, I agree!" Duncan glared. "Gwen and I are trying to get away from everyone else! I could care less about even crossing the finish line! Can you three go follow someone else?"

"No." Heather smirked. "If it bothers you that much then I'll just have to keep doing it."

"Hey. I found these red berries and I bet that they could stain clothes really good." Jo laughed and picked up the berries and threw them at Gwen, leaving a bright red stain on her shirt. "Yep, they definitely stain."


(Confessional.)

Gwen: Why can't I just have one moment alone with my boyfriend?! I finally get rid of Zoey and now Harold, Heather and Jo are following us and throwing berries at me! What kind of karma is this?! Is this like payback for that time at school that I cut five people in line to get the last slice of cake?!

(End Confessional.)


"C'mon!" Gwen yelled. "This is so annoying!"

"I'm all for following you guys because that's how you win." Harold informed them. "Following your opponents is how 83% of people win challenges."

"Following Duncan is a 100% chance of get the shit beat out of you!" Duncan glared and made a fist in front of Harold.

"I'm not afraid of you though." Jo shrugged. "If you beat up Harold then you'll have to go through me first because I can't win this challenge without Harold."

"Ditto for me!" Heather told him. "You can beat Harold up all you want after we cross the finish line! I'm not dragging an injured and bloody Harold across the finish line."

"I know a short cut." Duncan told Gwen. "We'll have to build a raft out of wood but that shouldn't take that long and they won't be able to follow us then unless they want to build a raft too. There are like a million ways we can these losers! I'm the one with a strategy and I'm going to get us there before everyone else."

Duncan and Gwen went off into the woods and Jo and Heather looked at each other and sighed.

"Okay, new plan." Heather sighed. "Jo and Harold go and cross the finish line and I'll make sure that Duncan never finishes that stupid raft."

"Fine by me." Jo rolled her eyes. She grabbed Harold and dragger the lanky nerd off.


(Confessional.)

Jo: Let Heather trail the Villains and lose the challenge. Then we have someone to blame, and that person won't be me! Perfect.

(End Confessional.)


"Perfect." Noah sighed. He too was now stuck in quicksand.

Lightning was very annoyed, only his head was now visible. "You now, for someone who is supposed to be a smart guy, that wasn't very smart guyly."

"Well how was I supposed to know when I threw you the vine you would scream and yank on it as hard as you can?" Noah sighed. He turned to Zoey, the only one left unstuck. "Can you help us? Or do I have to sound like Mike and scream?"

Zoey sighed. "Of course I'll help!" She grabbed a different vine and used it to haul them both out. Or at least she tried too, but Lightning did the same thing and ended up yanking Zoey in as well.

"Sha-thanks!" Lightning grinned. "Let's sha-go!"

"Great." Noah sighed.


(Confessional.)

Noah: Seriously? How stupid can you be!?

(End Confessional.)


Gwen and Duncan immediately began to work on the raft as soon as they reached a river bank. Unbeknownst to them, however, Heather was stalking them.


(Confessional.)

HEATHER: "After rewatching World Tour, I have improved my stalking skills," Heather brags. "I can now follow people without them knowing... though it makes me sound more of a creeper every time I get caught. I owe it to Alejandro. Speaking which, as soon as I have Gwen and Duncan sorted out, NOAH IS NEXT!" she shouts.

(End Confessional.)


Brick sighed. "Courtney, have you ever had parents who've been divorced?" he asked.

"No," said Courtney. "Though I kinda wished he did. One of them is always away on business while the other one is at home, at least they claim to be. I feel they'd be happier that way anyway." She paused. "Sorry, I realise that divorce could've had a negative effect on your childhood," she apologised.

But Brick just smiled. "Don't worry about that," he replied. "The divorce was actually a positive experience. Though not enough to relieve me of any of the trauma I've endured prior to that."

Courtney was shocked. "What happened?" she asked. "Remember, you can take your time with this. I know it can be difficult to share these things."

Brick sighed, but he continued. "Well, I was eleven years old when the divorce was finalised," he confessed. "It was very rough for me. It took months of a bitter, painful custodial battle before the judge finally awarded sole custody to my mother and my father was not allowed to see me. You see, my dad was a very physically abusive man. Every day when I was little, whenever I was around, he would punch my mom, usually over her cooking, cleaning and parenting. This was not true. My mom was very warm and kind to me when dad was not home, and when he was, she did everything she could to pretend she was not afraid of him, and that it was perfectly normal."

Courtney was stunned. After a few seconds of silence, she was finally able to respond. "What changed her mind?" Courtney asked.

"I befriended a kid in middle school," Brick replied. "I came over to his house once and noticed his dad stayed at home and that he and his wife respected each other. One time my friend and I heard them have an argument but we never heard any exchange of slaps or punches. In fact, whenever they raised their voices, they'd immediately realise it and lower their voices. When I came home, I told this to mom and she was not shocked at all. She just said that it all varies from one family to the next. But I was still confused so I asked a teacher about this... and that was when social services got involved..."

Courtney could believe what she was hearing. She KNEW that stuff like this happens in many families, but she never once thought that she would ever meet a survivor of domestic abuse. "What happened next?" she asked.

"My parents, even my mom, sugarcoated everything," said Brick. "I'm not sure how the authorities responded, but they left within an hour and I was sent to my room that time. But when they left, my dad burst into my room and started to attack me. I've seen him angry a lot of times before, but like that, not even to mom. He accused me of being a filthy liar, beat with his belt and threw me against the wall. After I was thrown, he lunged for me. But then my mom ran into my room and she immediately started to fight my dad to protect me. I could not believe it. After she managed to subdue him, she grabbed me and ran out of the house to the neighbours to get help. The police came and my dad was arrested. He contested the divorce and the claims of domestc abuse and demanded that he got sole custody of me. Thankfully, the judge ruled in favour of my mom and I and my dad was sentenced to prison. I wasn't allowed in the courtroom, but I was told his sentence was short, but with a restraining order afterwards. My mom and I moved to another province."

Courtney was almost speechless. "Oh Brick, I'm so sorry to hear that," she told him.

Brick sighed. "I appreciate it. Thanks. I still have nightmares from time to time, but.."

"Has life gotten better for you afterwards?" Courtney asked.

"It did," Brick replied. "As soon as we moved, my mom rented a apartment under my uncles'. Until then I never saw my maternal extended family, but my mom's only sibling was gay, which my dad did not approve of. But my uncles were two of the most nicest people I have met. They both met in the army, and my cousin also aspired to join to be like his dads, so that motivated me to join. My maternal granddad was also a soldier, and he was a very kind man. I made a lot of friends, but most of the women and girls I knew were very confident and brave, and none of them had an abusive male family member. I assumed that was why, and htat mistreating women oppresses them."

"Well, of course it does," Courtney explained. "But treating ANYONE terribly is basically oppressing them, regardless of gender. I know cases where women abuse men are not as common, but they do happen, and in a lot of these cases, the get away with it because the victims rarely report it. Because of societal expections ot mem to be brave, they are too afraid to do so."

Brick smiled at Courtney. "Thank you, Courtney. I honestly appreciate you taking the time to listen." He hugged her.

"No problem," Courtney assured him, returning the hug. "And I won't let anyone find out as well until you are ready to share it yourself. I will make sure Chris won't air it without your permission. I have my ways."


(Confessional.)

Courtney: "It all makes sense now," Courtney sighs. "No wonder Brick lets Jo walk right over him. Poor thing. All of this is making me realise that maybe I should stop being violent as well towards people. And yes, I sayd I had my mays about making sure Chris doesn't air anything sensitive," she adds, turning stern all of a sudden. "Please don't be making assumptions."

(End Confessional.)


Courtney, do you think that maybe you'd like to go out sometime?" Brick asked her. "I would never usually ask someone like you out but I figured that I don't have anything to lose and the worst that could happen is you'll reject me."

"I'd love to." Courtney smiled. "You're really sweet and we should definitely go out sometime. Let's go and kick some ass in this challenge! It's getting darker and darker every minute and I just want to finish this challenge and go to bed."

"I hear you." Brick agreed. "Uh, Courtney is that a herd of angry rabbits?"

"Don't be ridiculous, rabbits don't travel in herds." Courtney laughed. "I like you and all but I think you're being slightly paranoid about some harmless bunnies!"

"Look!" Brick spun her around to a wild herd of about 12 rabbits and they had fangs and looked like they could have been part vampire. "I told you there were some freaky looking bunnies!"

"Run!" Courtney commanded Brick and the two ran and screamed into a bush with thorns that both Brick and Courtney got their clothes and hair stuck to. "Great! this is the worst possible situation that could have happened to anyone! We're so going to lose this challenge! Stupid Chris making us do this stupid challenge at night!"

"Courtney, just hold still and we can get out of this." Brick tried to reason with her. "We'll get out of this and make it to the finish line with plenty of time."


Lightning, Zoey and Noah were now all stuck in quick sand and Lightning was sinking the quickest because he kept moving the most out of the three of them.

"This is just perfect." Noah sighed. "I'm stuck here with a Bi-polar nut case and an idiot who won't stop moving and is going to slowly die first and bore me to death by saying stupid things while he dies. Lightning, can you stop talking? I estimated that I have maybe two hours to live and I'd like to have that time to think about everything that I've done in my life that got me to this point."

"I just want to say that if I was able to kiss Mike one more time that my life would be made." Zoey told them. "I miss him so much. If I knew I was going to die at the age of 16 years old I would have gotten married when I was 14 to that kid who lived up the street from me."

"If Lightning knew he was going to die today then he would have Sha-told Chef that his cooking was the worst that he ever eated." Lightning yelled. "Sha-YOLO!"

"Seriously? You would have married the neighbor kid and you would have pissed Chef off?" Noah glared. "Eated is not a word and saying YOLO kills brain cells."

"Maybe there is still some hope that the others will come and find us!" Zoey told them.

"I don't think that's going to happen." Noah told her. "Our team is full of stupid people who don't know how to do simple tasks. Do you really expect anyone to show up and help us? If they actually show up they would just get stuck here with us and we would all die together."

"Then we would sha-win!" Lightning exclaimed.

"HELP!" Zoey yelled. "HELP! Chris?! Chef?! Producers?! Interns?! Villains?! Heroes?! ANYONE?!"

"Yeah, yell to everyone and make us a target for attacks." Noah face palmed. "This is the worst and most likely last night of my life and I'm stuck here with you two."


Back at the edge of the river Gwen and Duncan were working on building the raft that they were going to use to sail their way to the finish line. Duncan was making the raft and Gwen was using his lighter to help him see what he was doing.

"I can't believe that we actually have a minute alone and you don't want to talk." Gwen told him. "I thought you cared about me."

"Gwen, it's dark and I'm in a bad mood dealing with everything else so I just want to enjoy this night with my girlfriend. Take a look around, it's nice out."

"If it's so nice out then why don't we take a nice walk back to the finish line?" Gwen asked. "We can have some alone time, it's the first time since this season even started."

"I'm almost done with the raft too." Duncan kissed her. "How about you let me get something to tie this thing together with and then we can take a nice smooth ride to victory?"

"Oh, alright." Gwen smiled. "I'll wait here."

Duncan walked away and Gwen leaned against a tree and watched from a distance and while she wasn't looking Heather crawled over to the raft they were making and attempted to break it and stepped on a twig in the process making Gwen turn around.

"Hello?" Gwen held the lighter out and flicked it to see Heather. "Are you still spying on us Heather?"

"Sue me." Heather put her hands on her hips. "It's not like you two are getting any type of action going on in the first place."

"Heather, just beat it." Gwen crossed her arms. "I don't want to deal with your crap right now!"

"What's going on?" Duncan asked as he came back with long leaves. "Gwen, we can use these to get us to the finish or at least that will cut our time in half."

"Heather was spying on us." Gwen told him. "She's not even any good at it. Were you trying to give yourself away that easily?"

"Are you really trying to take away one of the few moments alone I have with Gwen?" Duncan sighed. "I hate to do this to you Heather but I really think I need to teach you a little lesson that's going to stick with you."

"Oh, what are you going to do to me, Duncan?" Heather laughed. "Beat me up? On national TV none the less?"

"Nope. I'm going to do this." Duncan laughed and ran up to Heather quickly, scooped her up and threw her in the river behind them. "Have a nice swim Heather!"

"You're so bad." Gwen laughed. "She had that coming! If only we could throw Zoey into the river then everything would be perfect."

"Are we going to stand here all night or our we going to get moving on this raft?" Duncan pushed it in the water and jumped on and took Gwen's hand. "C'mon!"

The two were slowly rowing down the river, not a sign of Heather anywhere and they were thrilled about that. Everything was going great until they heard yelling and they looked around but couldn't see much in the dark.

"Hello?!" Gwen yelled. "Anyone out there? Heather? is that you?!"

"Gwen?!" Lightning yelled. "Is that Sha-you?!"

"You've got to be kidding me..." Duncan muttered. "Where are you guys?! I have a lighter and we'll find you with it! Just keep talking!"

Duncan and Gwen paddled the raft to the shore and started talking to Lightning so they could hear how close he was to them.

"We're in quick sand!" Noah yelled. "Don't get stuck too or we're really all screwed!"

"Okay." Duncan agreed as they started to get closer to them. Duncan finally found them with the very dim light of the lighter. "And my probation officer told me I needed to quit smoking..."

"I'm on the edge! Can you help me please?" Zoey started taking deep breaths. "This is really starting to freak me out!"

"I got you." Duncan told her and he wrapped his arms around her and threw Gwen his lighter and he scooped her up in his arms as he slowly pulled her out little by little. "Gwen keep the light on while I get Zoey out and then find something to pull the guys out with."

"Thanks for getting me out Duncan." Zoey told him. "You're really strong! Almost as strong as Mike."

"Except he's not Mike, he's my boyfriend." Gwen reminded her.

"Yeah, I know." Zoey told her as Duncan put her down. "It's really nice of him to get me out of the quicksand."

"That's because he'd look like an ass if he left you die." Gwen told her.

"Girls! Can you not say anything at all?" Duncan asked them. "I just need to get these two and then we can win this thing."

"Whatever." Gwen and Zoey muttered.


(Confessional.)

Zoey: What the heck is everyones problem?!

(End Confessional.)


"Cheers." Noah sighed, relieved, giving a knuckle bump to Duncan.

"You look like shit." Gwen laughed.

"Love you too." He replied right back, rolling his eyes.

"Alright, let's get to the finish line...does anyone have any idea where we are?" Duncan asked.

"I bet it's that way!" Lightning cheered, pointing towards the dirt they were standing on.

"I'll get a closer look!" Zoey smiled, ignoring Lightning as he started to dig. She quickly scaled a tree and disappeared into the undergrowth. She hopped back down not twenty seconds later. "It's over there." She confirmed. "There's smoke and I caught some whiffs of burning meat. It's probably Chris waiting for us."

"Sounds good." Duncan nodded. "Hey tapioca-for-brains!" He called down the five foot whole the mornoic Lightning had dug. "We found the finish line. First team there becomes line crossing champions."

Lightning was out of the whole in the blink of an eye. "Which way?!" He cheered

Zoey pointed to the direction and before any of them could blink Lightning had sprinted off in that direction, cheering loudly.

"At least he'll distract any predators." Noah snarked.


Brick and Courtney struggled to pry themselves out of the thorn bush whilst dodging the attacks from the rabbits. It looked very hopeless until Brick came up with a plan.

"Courtney!" he yelped. "Follow my lead!" He remained still while a rabbit lunged for him. Courtney looked at this in fright. But usddenly, Brick shifted sideways at the last second and the rabbit got stuck in the bush. The rabbit instinctively bit on the thorn apprehending Brick's arm, thinking it was Brick's arm, enabling Brick to free it. Brick did the same with his other arm (trapping another rabbit in the process). Courtney immediately picked this up and did the same. Three minutes later, they both managed to pry themselves out of the bush, trapping most of the rabbits in the process. They have also sustained many thorns and scratches, and Courtney's hair was a mess.

However, three rabbits were not as gullible as their comrades. They sprung for Courtney and Brick, but this time, Courtney and Brick managed to dodge out of the way and they used the moonlight to dodge any plant in their way as they ran.


"Did you know that it takes 45 minutes for the human eye to adjust to this level of darkness?" Harold gabbed.

"Anyone who's seen Bear Grylls would no that, dweeb," Jo rolled her eyes.

"Did you know that your iris increases in size when you go into a dark room or area, but when you enter a much brighter room or area, your iris decreases in size and you find yourself squinting as a result?" Harold gabbed.

"Yeah, I learnt that in biology," Jo growled.

"Did you know that a tiger can see in the dark six times better than a human?" Harold gabbed.

"Did you know that I don't give a shit about that?" Jo was getting fed up.

"Did you know that-"

"Harold... SHUT... up!" Jo finally told him off. "This iis a challenge. Stay focused."

"Alright! GOSH!" Harold flinched.

"Hey, look!" Jo pointed. She heard some thrashing and panting behind the trees. She also heard familiar whispers.

"It's Gwen and Duncan!" Jo growled. "And Zoey and Noah too! AFTER THEM!" She immediately ran towards them, with Harold in pursuit. For some - blatantly obvious - reason, Harold decided to unleash a battle cry.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Harold roared, doing some weird 'ninja' reflexes as he followed Jo. Needless to say, it did not take long for it to occur to the Villains that they were being chased.

"RUN!" Gwen and Zoey yelped in unison. They took up faster than Jo and Harold. Duncan did the same, but not before grabbing Noah and pulling the bookworm along. Noah stared at Duncan in disbelief, but Duncan ignored him.


(Confessional.)

Noah: "Did Duncan just do what I think he did?" Noah smirks. "Well... that was nice of him."


Duncan: "What?!" Duncan demands. "Chris said that the whole team had to make it past the finish line! Noah is too weak to keep up by himself!" He glares at the camera. "When I get home, I am going onto Fan Fiction Net and I'm going to personally report every single suggestive story about me!" He realises how suggestive that sounds. "I MEAN IT!"

(End Confessional.)


"There's the craft services tent up ahead!" Zoey yelled.

"SHIT!" Jo cursed. "HAROLD! STOP ACTING LIKE A CREEPY NARUTO WANNABE AND POUNCE ON THEM!"

"I can't get them all, Jo." Harold told her. "There are a lot of them and only two of us!"

"JUST DO SOMETHING RIGHT!" Jo shoved Harold into Gwen.

"Shit!" Gwen landed on the ground with Harold on top of her. "Harold get off of me! I think you just broke my arm!"

"Keep sha-running!" Lightning ran past everyone else.

"You didn't just break Gwen's arm!" Duncan stopped and stormed up to Jo. "Did you just push Harold into Gwen?! I'll hurt you Jo and I don't care if you're a girl or not!"

"She's fine!" Jo yelled as she started to run and laugh. Duncan got pissed and chased Jo until he caught up with her and shoved Jo down on the ground and smacked her in the face.

"What's wrong with you?" Duncan and the Villains looked at Jo. "Harold get off Gwen now!"

"I'm fine." Gwen told him. "You guys should run with Lightning."

"I'm not leaving you here." Duncan helped her up and picked her up. "I'm making sure you get back and once we win this thing we're going to the medical tent and getting your paw checked out. Can you move it?"

"She broke her arm, not her foot." Noah smirked. "You don't need to carry her."

"Can it." Duncan glared. "Let's go back now. We have our team together and they don't."

"Look, I'm sorry!" Harold told Duncan and Gwen. "Jo shoved me into her!"


(Confessional.)

Jo: Wow, Duncan has balls! He's the first person to ever hit me back. I guess I can respect that.

Harold: I didn't push Gwen down! It was all Jo's fault and I would never mess with Duncan's girl because he just recently stopped picking on me and now because of Jo it looks like Gwen may be injured and Duncan is going to kill me.

(End Confessional.)


"Did you know that 87% of accidents that happen in the woods are from guns?" Harold asked Jo as he helped her up.

"Nobody cares." Jo glared and shoved Harold down. "I'm walking to the finish line on my own."

As Jo went one way, Harold went another way and the Villains all made it down to the an area where Chris was lounging around drinking lemonade and Chef was playing Volley Ball with some interns while there was some random intern cooking things on the grill and they had a bunch of stage lights to light the area, most likely left from Season two.

"Yes!" Noah happily exclaimed. "I never thought I be this happy to see Chris and win a challenge!"

"Chris! We won!" Zoey happily ran up to him. "We're all here."

"What are you guys doing here?" Chris looked confused as he got up from his chair. "This is for the host and the crew only."

"Yeah, but we won." Gwen told him. "I also think Harold broke my arm."

"Yeah, this is the craft service area for me and Chef and some of the interns that I don't hate." Chris told them. "You guys may have found me but I wasn't expecting anyone to get to the finish line for at least another two hours, I hope you guys don't plan on staying here! You guys need to go back into the woods and keep looking."

"You've got to be kidding me!" Duncan yelled. "You need to take Gwen to the medical tent and fix her arm!"

"Alright fine." Chris groaned. "Gwen, let's go and have Chef take a look at it and maybe call a real doctor that'll cost us some money. Since you didn't actually quit the challenge you won't make your team lose by not doing the challenge. Everyone else go back into the woods."

"Hey, bi-polar girl." Chef noted as Duncan, Noah, Zoey and Lightning trudged into the darkness. "What's that on yo' neck."

"Huh?" Zoey stopped running, panickily checking her neck. "Is it a bug?"

"No." Chef squinted. "Come here."

Zoey, confused and slightly nervous, waved her teammates on. "Go on, guys. I'll catch up."

Chef peered at the girls neck. "Looks like an irratated needle mark."

"Needle mark?" Chris asked. "Do we have a contestant doing drugs?"

"What?" Zoey gasped. "No! I didn't..." She paused. "But the past few days have been kind of a blur." She admitted. "Kind of fuzzy."

"She did kiss Duncan." Chris told Chef.

Zoey blanched. "I WHAT?!"

Chris looked bewildered. "You...uh...kissed Duncan? One of those things that was a blur, I'm guessing?"

"Uh, you think so?!" Zoey screeched, still pale. "Oh no. Mike's gone! But, are you sure? Oh my god, what will everyone think of me?!" Realization dawned on her face. "Is that...is that why I'm on the Villains?"

"That." Chris answered. "And the fact you've been hounding Duncan like a beast in heat.


(Confessional.)

Zoey: Duncan?! Duncan!? *She throws up* No wonder they hate me!

(End Confessional.)


"Could be someone else injecting her." An intern noted.

"Duh." Zoey sighed. She then winced. "Sorry."

"Probably some sort of inhibition drug. Gets your hormones all wild." Chef told her.

"How do I stop it? If someone is injecting me, I mean." The redhead asked nervously.

Chef shrugged. "Not much you can do."

"We can put a camera in the cabin and check out whats going on." Chris suggested.

"Sure." Chef nodded. "I don't know why you're all clean now, it seems."

"Maybe the moon?" Another intern asked.

"I don't see how that's possible." Chef frowned.

"Gosh, idiot!" Harold's head popped out from underneath an intern's shirt sleeve. "It's cartoon logic! Everythings possible!" He then dissapeared.

"Uh..." Everyone muttered.


"Damnit! Where did everyone go?" Heather scoffed, trying to make her way through the dark woods. Suddenly, she tripped over a root and rolled down a hill. Finally coming to a stop, she rubbed her head and looked up. She gasped. "The finish line! I'm here first! Yes!"

Lightning, sprinting faster than anyone could imagine, ran down the hill and crashed into Heather.

"Ow!" Heather screamed, being crushed by the jock. "You-*whoa, censored.*


Duncan and Noah were running as well. First reason is the fact that they want to win; second reason is that they want to avoid Zoey. They are still not sure whether or not to believe that Zoey was drugged. Suddenly, Noah saw the finish line. "THERE IT IS!" he shrieked.

"And the jock has made it!" Duncan added. The delinquent and the bookworm take their running up to a notch, when all of a sudden:

"Did you know that the speed of light is equal to exactly 299,792,458 metres per second?" Harold gasped, as he randomly popped out of nowhere, right in front of Noah and Duncan just as they were roughly fifteen metres from the finish line.

"Goddamn you, cartoon logic," Noah deadpanned, as he and Duncan fell over.

"Well what are ya gonna do about it?" Jo cackled, as she walked right over Duncan and Noah.

"Yeah, plus, you cannot wish for bad luck to be brought upon cartoon logic, as it is not an ORGANISM!" Harold glared at Noah. "GOSH!"

"Harold," Jo rolled her eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Shut up. Now let's go!" Jo yanked Harold by the collar and dragged him through the finish line.

"Okay, we can still make it," Duncan muttered, as he and Noah forced themselves up.

Out of nowhere, Brick and Courtney ran past them with a trio of rabid rabbits in hot pursuit. Before Noah and Duncan come to their senses, they are mauled by the rabbits, giving Brick and Courtney enough time to cross the finish line.

"AND THE HEROES WIN!" Chris shouted.

"WHAT?!" Duncan and Noah snap in unison. The shock gave enabled them to pry the rabbits off of them and toss them aside as they marched over to the finish line, where Harold was gabbing about how fast cheetahs are and Heather was pushing Lightning off of her (for some strange reason, Lightning did not want to get off).

"HA!" Jo jeered. "Guess the only one on your team to make it was Jockstrap here, of all people!"

"Yeah, sha-SERIOUSLY!" Lightning agreed as he stood up. "Lightning is on a team of losers!"

Noah and Duncan glare at Lightning. "Duncan, you want to beat the shit out of him?" Noah asked. "I know it only makes sense in context, but he's really annoying."

"Actually, let me help you with that!" Heather snarled, as she shoved Lightning to the ground.

"You want to help us beat up Lightning?" Duncan looked at Heather. "You aren't even on our team."

"Yeah, I know." Heather glared at him. "As I was getting shoved away by the heavy current of the river, I saw Lightning and I yelled for him to help me or at least find someone with a brain to help me he waved at me and didn't even tell anyone he saw me!"

"I thought you were Sha-waving!" Lightning yelled. "It was also really Sha-dark out and I couldn't tell who you even were!"

"We were also stuck in quicksand so we couldn't have helped you even if we wanted to." Noah told her. "Yeah, but we're pretty sure that none of us would have wanted to help anyway."

"Great, can we go now?" Courtney took deep breaths. "We've been running around trying to get away from weird rabbit looking things!"

"Princess is afraid of little bunnies now?" Duncan laughed. "That's to funny!"

"Shut up." Courtney glared. "I just want to go back to my bed and sleep the day away."

"I just want to wait until Brick falls asleep so I can dump some hot water on his privates." Jo laughed.

"Can you seriously stop?" Courtney glared. "I'm serious. You're really a bitch! There is two types of being a bitch, there is the competitive type of bitch like Heather and Myself and then there is the type of bitch like you, the kind when someone is that insecure with themselves that they have to make everyone else's life a living hell just to feel good about themselves and that's you. I'm willing to bet that you don't have any friends back at home Jo."

"As much as I love seeing Courtney yell at someone other then me, I'm going back to see how Gwen's doing." Duncan told everyone. "She'll just love to know we have to vote someone out before we go to bed."

"Where is your gross girlfriend anyway?" Heather asked.

"Chef actually texted me maybe 10 minutes ago." Chris laughed. "Gwen broke her arm and gets a pass out of any water type challenges, everything else I'm still making her do."

Duncan and Noah highfived. "Free pass!" They smirked.

Zoey emerged into the clearing. "Hey guys, what'd I miss?" She cringed as Duncan narrowed his eyes are her. He and Noah had heard about the drugging incident but still weren't sure if they wanted to believe it.


(Confessional)

Noah: Zoey may be annoying, but Lightning is a dumbass, annoying, and arrogant. He's also, as much as I hate to admit it, a threat. I'll talk to Duncan.


Zoey: *She looks determined* I know what I have to do.

(End Confessional.)


"Guys, I want you to vote me off." Zoey blurted out, startling the rest of the Villains team.

"Uh, yes?" Duncan grinned.

Noah took a smarter approach. "Why?" He questioned.

"A, the drugs. B, I need to sort things out with Mike, and C, I'm sick of being on this island with you and Gwen giving me death stares for something I don't remember doing!" She addressed Duncan, slihgtly angry. "So please, just do me this favor." She begged.

"Fine with me." Duncan said, his smug attitude dropping, poorly hidden shame replacing it. "Whatever..."


"Welcome Villains. You guys are really sucking big male appendages! Three loses in a row! Sucks to suck, big boys! Hahahahaha!" He continued laughing for another ten minutes as the campers just sat there, there butts getting sore from sitting on the crappy stumps they were forced to sit on. After he was finally finished laughing, he threw the first marshmallow to Duncan.

"Another marshmallow for Gwen." The host sang, hurling the marshmallow at Gwen's broken arm.

"And one for Noah." The host flicked the penultimate marshmallow to the bookworm.

"Zoey, Lightning, this is the final marshmallow." Chris said solemnly. Both campers looked content.

"This isn't very dramatic." Chris frowned. "It goes too...Lightning."

"Thanks, horny girl." Lighnting grinned, offering Zoey a highfive.

"Uh, thanks?" Zoey asked, accepting the high five.

"Alright, get your stuff, cut the drama in half by leaving, whatever." Chris frowned.

The boat of losers pulled up. There was an extra person on it "Zoey! We need to have a talk." Mike said, wringing his hands, walking out of the boat.

"No, no, no, no." Zoey chuckled. "Mike, I was drugged! We're still good!" She ran up to him and gave him a hug.

Mike's face broke into relief. "Oh thank god." They kissed.

"Ugh, get them out of here! So corny!" Chris gagged. Chef quickly took the kissing couple and hurled them into the boat.

"Well, this episode sucked." Chris frowned. "There was hardly any drama! Gah, oh well. Tune in next time for more terror! On Total! Drama! Heroes Vs Villains!"


(Confessional)

?: Hmm, Zoey's gone. Looks like my drugs won't be of much use...don't want to get too suspicious. Ah well. Time for a new plan. Muahahaha...

(End Confessional.)


Voting Confessionals.

Noah: Far be it from me to let someone get themselves be eliminated. Bye Zoey.

Lightning: *He smirks* Looks like Red is takin' one for the team! Sha-thanks!

Gwen: Bullshit story or no bullshit story, it'll be a relief to have Zoey out of here.

Duncan: Thank god this is going to resolve itself and finally I can be with Gwen alone. Bye Zoey!

Zoey: I vote for myself! I don't want to hurt anyone else.


Final Result:

Zoey: Five Votes. (Noah, Lightning, Gwen, Duncan, Zoey.)


Heroes: Brick, Courtney, Harold, Heather, Jo.

Villains: Duncan, Gwen, Lightning, Noah.

Eliminated: Sierra, Mike, Alejandro, Scott, Zoey.


Please review! Ciao!