[Disclaimer I don't own anything except that of a loving family and fantastic friendships.]

[The A-Team have finally got their pardons and are free men. But then tragedy strikes.]

"My Immortal" – by Evanescence
(Written by Ben Moody/Amy Lee)

[Verse 1]

I'm so tired of being here.
Suppressed by all my, childish fears.

Face bolted upright in his bed, as the same re-occurring dream over-powered his body.

"You okay, muchacho?" asked a concerned voice. Even though it was dark in the room, Murdock's familiar Texan drawl brought immediate comfort to Face. He flopped back down on his pillow.

And if you have to leave,
I wish that you would just leave.

"I just can't get him out of my mind," replied Face, his voice betraying the bitter anger he felt inside.

"You've gotta try, Faceman," said Murdock, in a warning voice. "You know, anger is just one letter away from danger and you know that will bring you nothin' but trouble. Anyway, he wouldn't wan'ya to be suffering like this."

'Cause your presence still lingers here;
and it won't leave me alone.

"That's easy for you to say Murdock," retorted Face. "He's been part of my life for the past 20 years – I can't just forget about him!"

"No-one's askin' ya to do that," affirmed Murdock. "But you've gotta move on. He knows you won't ever forget him. No-one really dies as long as they took the time to leave us with fond memories. And we've got plenty of those, right?"

These wounds won't seem to heal.
This pain is just too real.

"But why did it have to happen now?" whimpered Face. "Just when we've all finally put the bad stuff behind us. He was going to get married, settle down and maybe even have children. He would have made a great dad! He paused for a moment, before adding, "I miss him like hell."

There's just too much that time, cannot erase.

"Just remember, Face," mused Murdock. "Missing someone gets easier every day, coz though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to seeing them again."

Face managed a faint smile at Murdock's usual childlike logic. Without even looking up, he could feel Murdock's vibrant brown eyes scrutinising him from across the room, willing him to just let his emotions show and accept what had happened.

Murdock had never been afraid to wear his heart on his sleeve. But Face wasn't like Murdock. He hadn't cried yet – not even at the funeral. He was too numb to feel anything except emptiness and sorrow. He sensed Murdock knew that.


When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears.

"Do you remember what you said to me back in 'Nam – in the PoW camp?" continued Murdock, adopting a more gentle stance. "When they broke me and I cried for the hurting to stop, you said that tears were God's gift to us. Our holy water that would heal us as they flow."

"Weren't my words," rebuffed Face, feeling a bit awkward at Murdock's confession. "It was what the Nuns used to say to us at the orphanage. Besides, whilst I was sharing your agony I wasn't thinking about my own pain and suffering."

When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears.

"No matter," replied Murdock, resolutely. "It certainly gave me the courage to get through all the horror. I never thanked you for that. I wouldn't have made it if it hadn't been for you."

And I held your hand through all of these years.

Face continued to gulp back his tears. He knew Murdock was just being kind. The team had all been there for each other at some time or another during those harrowing days in the Country.

But you still have - all of me.

However, it was true to say that Face had probably been there more for Murdock after they had finished their tour. After all, even when they returned to the States, for a long time afterwards, Murdock was still fighting the Vietnam war in his head.

But it had always been a two-way street. Murdock had been there for Face - even when the stubborn conman didn't think he needed anyone – until now.

[Verse 2]

You used to captivate me, by your resonating light.
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind.

Face broke out in a cold sweat as he thought back to the moment when Murdock had been killed in the Veterans' Aerial Display. Face had stood transfixed in the crowd as he saw the bird spiralling out of control, plunging towards the ground at a hair-raising speed.

Your face it haunts - my once pleasant dreams.
Your voice it chased away, all the sanity in me.

At first he thought it was all part of the pilot's aerodynamics. It wasn't until he saw the orange glow light up the horizon that he realised Murdock had collided with the ground. Pieces of metal from the fighter plane that flew into the air, almost seemed to be falling in slow motion as they scattered all over the crash site.

These wounds won't seem to heal.
This pain is just too real.

Six months later, when he closed his eyes, Face could see still see Murdock as clear as day. But when he opened them, he realised how much he missed him.

There's just too much that time, cannot erase.

There was now a hole in the world where Murdock used to be. Face constantly found himself walking round it in the daytime and falling into it at night. Perhaps that was why Murdock was haunting his dreams. To help him let go.


When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears.
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears.

Face suddenly had another flashback to the PoW camp. Murdock had been brought back to them after a particularly gruelling torture session with the guards. Death was written all over his face. The young Lieutenant had begged and pleaded with the Captain not to give up and die.

And I held your hand through all of these years.

Murdock must have felt his anguish, because somehow he managed to murmur some words of reassurance to the grief-stricken Face.

"To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die," he had said in a rasping voice. "Never forget that Facey."

But you still have - all of me.

The crazy Captain always did have a way of making Face see the optimistic side of life. It was at that moment when Face accepted death, because Murdock had taught him to believe that life would continue to live on in the loved-ones left behind.


I've tried so hard, to tell myself, that you're gone.

"I guess God just needed another angel, eh buddy," Face said quietly, not even noticing the teardrops that had started to fall slowly down his cheeks.

But though, you're still with me;
I've been alone, all along.

At least Face would always have his memories. No-one could ever steal them from him. But he also knew that no-one would ever heal his heartache.


When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears.
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears.

There was many times during and after 'Nam when Murdock had drifted between the threshold of life and death. Face had always been there by his side. He remembered, on one vivid occasion, listening to Murdock's endless, confused jibber-jabber.

And I held your hand through all of these years.
But you still have - all of me.

Suddenly, he had stopped his wild ramblings and grabbed Face's wrist. He looked at him straight in the eyes, all signs of insanity momentary gone.

... me,

"When it rains, look for the rainbows, muchacho. And when it's dark, look for the stars. That way you will always find me."


Face now understood the message Murdock was trying to convey to him. He knew that he had to continue looking at the world for both of them.


As acceptance finally flowed through him, Face whispered tentatively into the darkness of the room.

"I'll never forget you Captain Howlin' Mad Murdock – my immortal."


[AN: Sorry if this is a bit depressing, but feeling a bit angsty as I got stuck on the frigging train coming home from work. Grrrrr! Not good on a Friday night. Anyway, managed to pen this whilst listening to this beautiful, inspirational song on my I-pod. Hope you all enjoyed it. Please review if you get the time. Have a good weekend, everyone.]