A Child in Wal-Mart
Antigone (enthusiastically): Come sister; let us find the popped corn!
Ismene (nervously): I think it's called 'popcorn'.
Antigone (scoffs): Wait… do you hear that?
Creon: Relinquish the sweets, peasant!
Ismene: Was that King Creon?
Antigone: I think so… let's go investigate.
Ismene (singsong): This is a bad idea…
Antigone: Really Creon? Taking candy from a baby? That's low even for you.
Creon: This 'Mart of Walls' has bestowed upon me this child. I will raise him as my own flesh and blood!
Antigone: Good luck with that, your last son hated your guts.
Ismene (quietly): Uhm… Shouldn't we find this boy's mother?
Creon: Want to say that again, louder this time Ismene?
Ismene (squeaks): No thank you! (Hides behind Antigone)
Antigone: She said we should find the kid's mother.
Creon: There was no mother, only the cornflakes woman standing nearby.
Antigone: What in Hades are you talking about? Cornflakes?
Creon (crazily): The cornflakes chose her, just as the child chose me!
Ismene (stuttering): There's…er… a problem with your thought process, your highness…
Creon: Out with it you silly girl!
Ismene: The cornflakes woman must be the child's mother! (Hides behind Antigone again)
Creon: You dare defy me? Once more and I shall lock you in your tombs!
Antigone: Do you mean our rooms?
Creon (Snape [Alan Rickman] voice): Obviously.
Antigone (rubs neck): That was less than fun last time.
Creon (cackles evilly): This time… this time… I'm taking out… the Wi-Fi!
Ismene: But… but… As you wish my king. (passes out)
Antigone: Woah woah woah! Uncle… brother… whatever you are, let's not do something we'll regret!
Creon: Dang it Oedipus, you ruined everything!
Ismene: Don't talk about Father… brother… you may have a point.
Antigone: Don't encourage him!
Ismene: Oh look! A policeman! (Policeman takes Creon)
Creon: Release me you cretin!
Policeman: You're under arrest for kidnapping that child.
Creon (being pulled offstage): There was no mother, only the cornflakes woman!