How To Ask An Angel To The Prom

by

SarcasticBimbo

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything. I own nothing. And away we go.

A/N: I saw a picture on facebook of a high school boy kneeling down by the side of a swimming pool holding a sign out to a girl competing in a swim meet.

The sign read simply, "PROM?"

I thought to myself, "Self, I see a fic in this pic," and here we are. It's a one-shot.

~oOo~

My name is Edward Cullen. I am 17 and a senior at Forks High School. I am just your average guy. I have an average family, and an average life. Well, except for one aspect of my life. My girlfriend, Bella, is the most amazing girl I've ever known. I just know I am going to marry her someday, and the sooner the better.

But, that's not why we're here. Right now, I am trying to come up with an unusual way to ask her to senior prom. Texting, you say? No...just, NO! Call her on the phone? Really? Did you not see my response to the texting question? Smoke signals? Yeah, we live 15 miles from the Quileute reservation, but I'm pretty sure that the art of the smoke signal is permanently lost. Write her a note? Pass.

I decide to ask my best friend, Jasper Whitlock, how he would ask his scary little demon of a girlfriend, Alice Brandon, to prom. I'm pretty sure he won't razz me too much for drawing a blank. I mean, he is my best friend and all. If he does I'll just kick his ass anyway, so what the hell?

I start to dial his number but stop. I think if we are going to do any serious brain-storming we need to be face-to-face. I jump into the SA-WEET car my folks got me for my birthday last June. I love my car almost as much as my girl, but nothing, and I do mean nothing, compares to my Bella.

Jazz only lives a few blocks away so I make it over to his place in under five minutes. I park my car out on the street in front of his house and quietly get out, making sure not to slam my door. This is as good of a time as any to scare the shit out of him, I think to myself. I creep slowly around the side of the house, into the back yard where his bedroom light is shining through the window. I hear Alice panting, "Oh Jazzy, you make me feel so good."

I fight back a loud laugh when I realize what is going on in "Jazzy's" room. I notice the screen is off of his window, so I step back a few paces and run toward the window and dive through it like I'm cutting through the surface of the swimming pool at school. (I'm on the swim team, that's how I met my Bella. Best day of my life.)

I land on his bed just to the side of where Alice is lying completely naked, with Jazz's face buried between her thighs. Alice screams and Jasper is knocked completely off of the bed from the force of my three point landing.

Jasper jumps up off of the floor and starts trying to pummel me, but I get him in a head-lock and he can do nothing. "Say it, Jazz. Say you're my bitch." I laugh as Alice starts slapping me anywhere she can reach me. "Be gone, she-demon! You have no power over me." I say to her, ever-so-politely asking her to leave so I can make Jasper help me.

By this time, I have Jasper flat on his back on the floor and I am straddling his chest with his elbows pinned beneath my knees. I start to drip a loogey slowly towards his face, but Alice decides to jump on my back which knocks me off of him.

I scream at her to get her STD infested girl parts off of me, but she holds on like a monkey climbing a tree. It's hard to believe that someone so tiny is so freakishly strong. Finally Alice lets go of me and gets dressed. Can I just say, "Ewwww?"

"What are you doing here, Cullen?" Jasper whines. "I was giving Alice some of my best stuff here, ya cockblocking son-of-a-bitch."

"I am on a mission way more important than you failing to show Alice a good time, dude. I need your help with something really important." I tell him seriously. "I need to think of an unusual way to ask Bella to the prom.

"You interrupted us for that?" Alice screeches in her unholy high-pitched voice.

"Of course, I did. This is important." I tell her. "I need to come up with a way to ask Bella to prom that will guarantee she won't say no. You know her, Alice. I can't just say 'Hey, wanna go to prom?'"

"You're right, but it really could have waited until school tomorrow, Edward." Jasper says. "No, it can't, Jazz. I only have three weeks until prom, I have to ask her before some other nimrod, like that asshat Newton does."

"Oh come on Edward, she would never say yes to anyone but you, even if some idiot were to ask her. She's in love with you." Alice tries to convincingly say.

"I know she loves me, but I also know that if I don't ask her soon, she'll say yes to somebody else just to piss me off because I made her wait." I groan. "If that happens, which I don't want it to, she might decide she doesn't love me like she thought she did and I absolutely can't have that happen."

"Edward do you honestly think that Bella is that fickle? If you do, maybe you don't love her the way you think you do." Alice states. "I mean, if you think so little of her feelings for you, what does that say about you?"

"Alice, I don't honestly think that little of her, or her feelings for me. But, you know her, if I put it off any longer, she'll say yes to some yahoo just because she can. Then she'll tell me, 'You snooze, you lose, Cullen.'"

Jasper starts laughing. I see red. He laughs some more. He laughs so hard he falls off of his bed where he had gone to sit after Alice so rudely interrupted my pummeling of him.

"Jazz!" I snap. "Focus! Prom. How do I ask Bella?"

"I know!" Alice squeals. Seriously, how does she get her voice that high pitched? I marvel to myself. Dogs everywhere howl in response to it. "Take her to your meadow, bring a nice picnic, with a blanket, and ask her there." she continues.

"That's a good idea, Alice, but I already thought of that and I'd kind of like to use that idea for something else." I tell her. "Oh, okay. Then I've got nothing. Wait...what 'else' did you want to use that idea for?" Alice asks impatiently. She is literally bouncing on her tippy-toes she is so excited to know what 'else' I have in mind. Pffft. Like I would tell her something like that.

"Just you never mind, you she-demon." I say darkly. "Just know I have something in mind for that scenario so it's a no-go to ask her to prom that way. And if you ever mention that to Bella, I will hunt you down and kill you."

"Oh lighten up, Sullen Cullen," Alice giggles. "Seriously, when will the topic of a picnic in the meadow come up between me and Bella?"

"Just make sure, Alice. If you spoil..." I trail off. "Just forget about it, okay?"

"Okay, Edward. Sheesh! I get it." Alice snaps.

"How about this? You get her a charm bracelet and a bunch of different charms that represent prom then leave them all over the place in a scavenger hunt." Jasper suggests. "Ooh, that's a really good idea, Jazzy" Alice coos. "Wait a minute, why didn't you ever do something like that for me?" she asks with a hurt look on her face.

"Oh Alice, I'm sorry I never thought of something like that for you. But, I have something even better in mind for when I ask you to prom. I can't give Cullen my best stuff, can I?" Jasper says sweetly to her.

"Okay Jizzy (I snicker to myself at that), Alice. Can we please focus? Me. Bella. Prom. Clever way to ask." I say, trying to get them back on track.

"Right." they say in unison. I just groan. Really, do they need to do all that cutesy stuff they do around me? The least they could do is save it for when they are alone. "Get back on topic." they continue.

"The scavenger hunt idea was pretty good," I say, "and that would probably work for any other girl, but it would probably just piss Bella off having to hunt everything down. So no."

"Is there anything coming up in the next couple of days where you will be together besides school or a normal date?" Alice asks.

"Well, we have a swim meet coming up in Port Angeles tomorrow." I tell her.

"I've got it!" Jasper yells. "This is so good! Cullen, this will get her to say yes for sure," he continues excitedly.

"Well spit it out Jazz!" I exclaim.

"She swims the medley, right? How many laps is that?" he asks, with a big grin on his face.

"Four," I tell him.

"Perfect!" he yells, then he proceeds to tell me what to do. I have to admit, it's a great idea.

~oOo~

We are in Port Angeles for our swim meet. I have just finished my last race of the day and I am nervously pacing near the end of the pool. Alice and Jasper come down to where I am waiting for Bella's next race to start. I had won my races, but that feeling doesn't compare to the one I know I will have when she says yes.

It's time for Bella's 200m medley. Alice and Jasper split up, each heading toward a different end of the pool. Bella looks from one end of the pool to the other with a curious expression on her face for a moment, but shakes it off. She has to concentrate now if she wants to win. This meet determines whether or not we will go to state so she is determined to win.

The swimmers take their positions on their blocks. Alice and Jasper each take signs we made from our friends in the stands and sidle closer to her lane. As soon as the starter gun goes off, Bella is in the pool stroking her hardest and begins to pull ahead of the other swimmers. I run over to where Jasper is waiting at the end of her lane.

I grab a sign, which says, "Will you..." and hold it up in front of her. She sees it and flips into her turn. I run around to Alice's end of the pool and wait for Bella to look up. The sign I am holding now reads, "come with..."

She sees this one and kicks into her second turn. I race back to the opposite end of the pool and grab Jasper's last sign from him. We fist pound and I hold up the sign that says, "me to..."

Bella is leading by a full body length as she goes into her third and final turn. I sprint as fast as I can to the other end of the pool one last time. I hold up the last, and biggest sign. It reads simply, "PROM?"

Bella is swimming her hardest and doesn't look up until her hand touches the wall. I gaze down at her beautiful face as she looks up to me and sees the sign. She's smiling at me happily as she pulls her amazing body out of the pool.

"Did I win?" she asks. "Of course you did, sweet girl." I tell her. She starts to walk away from me and starts to dry off.

"Wait!" I yell and she turns around. "What's up?" she asks, with a confused frown on her face.

I slowly lower my sign to my side and start to turn away. "Didn't you see my signs?" I ask. "What signs? I didn't see any signs," she wonders aloud to me.

I frown and hold up the one I am still holding on to. The sign that reads, "PROM?"

I lower the one I am holding and start to turn away. "Hold it. Were you talking about the signs where you were asking me to prom?" she asks with a wicked grin on her face.

"No." I deadpan. "I was talking about the ones that said, 'Good luck finding a date to the prom'."

"Oh, okay." she giggles, before turning away again. She starts to put on her warm up suit and I grab her around her waist from behind. "So will you?" I breathe into her ear before kissing her on the cheek.

"Of course I will, silly boy," she giggles to me again.

I let go of her and yell, "She said yes!" as I fist-pump the air. Alice and Jazz come over and Alice hugs me as I fist-pound Jasper.

Bella comes over to me and winks at Alice before they both shove me into the pool. I come up smiling and spit the water in my mouth at Alice's shoes as she squeals and hops away. "Oh no you don't mister! These are my good Manolos!" she cries. "Well, you shouldn't have helped Bella push me into the pool, Demon-From-Hell." I tell her.

"Jazzy, are you just going to let him talk to me that way?" Alice whines to Jasper.

"Yeah, Jizzy. Are you just gonna let me talk to her that way?" I grin, before putting my hand up for him to help me out of the pool.

"Eddie, if you call me Jizzy one more time, I'll tell Bella about 'the scenario' you rejected," he growls.

I stop smiling. "Good to know," I yell, and I pull him into the pool with me.

Bella kneels down to the side of the pool where I am just about ready to climb out. "I love you and I can't wait to go to the prom with you," she whispers to me. "I love you, too, but if you think that we are double-dating with 'Jizzy and the She-Demon' you have another thing coming," I tell her.

Bella laughs, her amazing brown eyes sparkling. "I'm pretty sure Alice would rather jump in there with you in her Manolos than double with us for prom."

"Good to know," I sigh and kiss her on the lips.

The End