Ed swung his feet onto the table, right landing on left, and met the gaze of the man sitting opposite of him evenly.


Ed reached into the pocket of his black leather pants and slammed it down onto the table with his left hand. "What's that?"

A number was scratched into the paper, a pink lipstick stain smudged across the name 'Kasie' below it.

Al flushed and stood to grab it, only for Ed to drop his legs and slam his hand over the paper. "I asked you a question."

Al flushed and swallowed slowly. "You're not stupid, Brother. It's a phone number."

Ed crossed his arms, swiping the paper with his motion. "I can see that. Where did you get it?"

Al was terrible at keeping his expressions stoic. Though really, why would he want to when he finally had a face? "You can read. It's Kasie's number."

Ed gritted his teeth. "Who the fuck is Cassie?"


"Who is she?"

Al pulled at his collar and sat back down. "A... girl. I met."

Ed held out the paper in show before crumpling it with no regard to Al's whine. "You're not calling her till I check her out."

"You mean Hughes?" Al asked unregenerately.

"Yeah, Hughes. If you're keeping this chick from me, obviously you know something's up with her," Ed reasoned.

Al rolled his eyes. "No, I kept her from you because you're too paranoid. How am I ever supposed to get laid if you're scaring all the girls I like away?"

Ed's eyes widened. "Woah, woah, who's talking about getting laid?"

Al rose his arms angrily. "I am!"

Ed fumed. "Hey now, no little brother of mine is losing his final innocence with me around!"

Al huffed. "'Final innocence.' You're ridiculous."

"I'm ridiculous!? You're ridiculous!" Ed cried. "Hmph. Your first time should be perfect, with someone you love. Unlike mine."

Al raised a brow. "Your first time was with Roy."

Ed held out his metal hand. "You see? Fuck a guy once and you're stuck with him!"

Al shrugged. "Well how am I supposed to know who I love if I never get to know them?"

Ed crossed his arms and smiled warmly. "I'll know."

Al gave him a droll stare. "You'll know who I love."

Ed nodded, golden eyes shining with determination. "I know your type, and these fragile, slutty, desperate women aren't good for you."

"Kasie's a doctor!"

"A doctor? Or a sexy nurse with no brains?"

Al let his head fall into his hands. "I don't need this."

Roy waltzed in, clothed in his sweats and little else. "What's this I hear about sexy nurses?"

Ed scowled. "Of course you would only hear that. How long were you out there?"

Roy shrugged, opening the fridge. "Long enough to know you've taken up match-making. Interesting career choice. Certainly didn't see your post-military status leading you there."

Ed fiddled with his braid. "Shuddup. Asshole."

Roy turned, smiling and holding a milk carton. "I love you."

Ed flushed and glared at his brother. "See what hell this is?"

"Oh, yes. I see your pain," Al said unenthusiastically.

Roy held a hand to his heart. "And here I thought you liked it when I played sexy nurse!"

Ed flushed deeper and turned to Roy with a fury. "THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT YOU PERVERTED BASTARD?!"

Al sighed and pulled the extra copy he'd written of Kasie's number. "I'm going now. Clean up after yourselves."

A milk carton nearly missed him as he stepped out of the kitchen. "Mmf!"