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Here is chapter two!

Chapter Text

This had been the seventh time this year where Spock has had a dream about Jim. It was illogical for his mind to remain to revolve around him, more so that he was dreaming. Sitting upon his bed Spock inhaled a deep breath and exhaled slowly. It had been twelve years since he had last seen the enigma that was Jim Kirk. He shouldn't be thinking about him any longer he should be mediating, but he dwelled again on the events of that night.

Returning from the beach after staring almost helplessly at the ocean, hoping Jim would resurface; Spock made the long trek home. He could have acquired a soldier on the main streets to return him home more quickly; instead he wished to be left with his thoughts.

Confusion was the next emotion he thought he would never feel. Vulcan's were viewed to know in short terms everything there was to possibly know. At the moment he felt so helpless so alone, the once warm feeling he felt was torn from his body. Replaced with sorrow, and an everlasting emptiness. Spock would later deny these feelings, it was logical; Vulcan's were not meant to feel anything at anytime.

He contemplated for many hours even after he was home, many hours and days after the incident if Jim himself was the cause of these feelings. Initially he thought it irrational. How could a creature that may or may have been a mere hallucination cause emotions to spring from his person. The emotions however were not a mere hallucination, but very real and frightening.

Once he arrived at the large iron gates that enclosed his home, the guards had informed him his parents were sending out search parties (Like predicted) and he was immediately sent inside to his comm. to inform his parents of his safety. When his parents returned home, his mother frantically nurtured him with kisses and Spock could actually see his father's perfect mask shatter when he was greeted with his son. Sarek admitted his great relief of the safety of Spock and Amanda resumed her nurturing touches while praising the gods for letting her son live to see another day.

He was then rather forcibly by his mother of course, to explain what had happened. Spock had told his parents that he had fallen from the rails of the boat to and have been carried possibly by a creature from the depths of Soh to shore. Thankfully his parents had accepted his explanations, mostly due to fact Spock added he himself didn't know how he survived. After his fall his father had hired tutors to teach him the art of swimming, and new Vulcan laws ordered that every Vulcan was to also learn how to swim, so accidents like his son's would cease to happen.

Spock didn't lie per say which would be against the Vulcan way. Instead he left out his obvious hallucinations. He did not want his parents to think he had suffered brain damage, for he wished not to visit the healers. And it was logical seeing as his mother had already suffered enough from the scare he had given her. He was grateful that he was allowed to bathe and retire to his bed chambers rather hurriedly.

It was fourteen point three seconds later that Spock was pulled from his slumber with agonizing pain. It felt as though his skull had been shattered and his brain was being split open. His mind felt as though it were falling apart and he was exerting a painful slow death. He grabbed for his head out of instinct and gave a painful shout into the empty space of his quarters, only to have both father and mother rush to his side.

A healer was sent immediately and what they found, not only confused him for the second time, but simply every person that was present in the healer's quarters. A bond that spontaneously formed without a mind meld was only heard of in ancient texts, when Vulcan's were still violent and irrational. The name of this bond Spock kept far away from his mind. Initially his father wanted the bond to be broken, but it was later found to be impossible unless Sarek wished for his son's early death. The bond remained and Spock kept it guarded and confined in the depths of his mind. But still the bond was constantly yearning for him calling to him, as though another called for him at the other end. He ignored it and went on with his life, only occasionally feeling it's pull or its cause of pain.

The ignored bond later became a large issue in Spock's life.

Not only did his intended T-pring leave him for Stonn: his childhood oppressor, but he was now not only shamed for being a half-breed, joining Starfleet, but now he was a Kali-Fey.

When asked why she refused Spock she said not only was he a half-breed, but as well as a Kali-fey. Once again Spock felt confusion, for the third time. How had his intended known that he was Kali-fey when he himself didn't know? Kali-fey was the value of being a homosexual in terran standard, so Spock's reproductive organ to say would never respond to T-Pring counting him useless, to any female really. During the trial T-Pring the vain creature she was insulted Spock directly trying to create a response from his person. Spock felt nothing from being unbounded from the retched woman. Their mind compatibility was only in the twenty five percent tactile, and Spock could accomplish to find a mate at least at fifty percent match of his own. He was only bonded to T-Pring for the sake of joining two wealthy families, and was actually grateful he would never copulate with her. When Spock remained silently passive he could feel the anger that radiated from T-pring from her stoic stature.

Though he wouldn't miss T-pring really there was no reason to. He would still
– miss the presence of another in his mind; he constantly felt the need to have another by his side. One to claim as his own, and to protect and provide for. One he could call his equal, that would successfully quell his mind of the ongoing pain and sadness he-

Breaking himself out his now illogical thoughts, Spock prepared for his day. He decided to push the memory of Jim again from his mind and moved on to his hygiene and started to dress. After his announcement to the council men, he was scheduled to leave Vulcan in eight months to be stationed on Starfleet's campus on Earth. He was to work as a professor as his credentials were above extraordinary and he required little to no cadet classes. Hopefully in three to four years he would be transferred on to the Enterprise working as the main science officer. And maybe…find the other half of himself.

Spock would be dishonest with himself if he said he wasn't depressed. Vulcan's did not experience happiness but they also were not to feel like he felt. He was not to feel period.

Checking over his attire in the mirror Spock exited his quarters to greet his mother and father in the dining hall and sat down for his morning meal. Meals between his family were always silent, excluding his mother's small commentary here and there. It felt even more desolate after his decision to join Starfleet became known. Though his mother remained proud, he could sense the disappointment from his father. Spock had great potential to become something greater than a federation officer, and Spock knew of this observation, but it was not his calling. He wished to travel new planets and further become knowledgeable of Science that was not found on Vulcan, something Sarek would never understand.

Sipping tea quietly and finishing his soup, he excused himself from the table and received a nod from his father and a warm smile from his mother. He returned back to his quarters to meditate further and prepare himself for his journey off planet. He had small knowledge of human customs as few came to Vulcan, and he could simply not base all on his mother's behavior. He would need to research steadily and prepare himself from cultural differences, and become accustomed to human nature.

It was well into the evening when Spock pushed away from his desk and set his padd on his desk. He went to the bathroom to relieve himself.

It was seven o'clock when he ventured down stairs and was greeted by the affectionate positions he found his mother and father in. In the living room on the couch were his mother laying against his father's chest with his arms wrapped around her waist in a very affectionate, un-Vulvan fashion.
Though Sarek reeked of proper Vulcan nature there were times where he allowed his mask to slip, maybe it was just for his mother and her emotional needs, Spock concluded he would never know. His mother however looked rather tiny pressed against his father, and without a doubt was experiencing great body heat, yet she seemed docile as a tame sehlat.

"Are you heading out Spock?" His mother poked her small head up and gave Spock a small smile. Nodding curtly he turned to head for the main doors, and heard his mother shout a 'be careful' as he departure.


Spock had promised himself three years ago that this would be the last time he visited the sandy beach, yet he still returned. Every day. And every day he thought about Jim. Most likely grown from his smaller being, he visioned a slightly (most likely not) mature Jim, with the same identical dimples, and tan skin. He also pictured the fin like tail Spock had aggressively researched only to find nonsense and answers that did not add up. Bright blue eyes that still could not be described burned in his mind. Leaving want in Spock's body. He could not place exact 'feelings' on Jim, he didn't even know if he was real, or alive. The last thought gave Spock and cold dark feeling through his body, and he reminded himself to meditate on it later.A part of him wanted to be truly alone finding that being on the beach was the only way. Another part of him hoped that he would see Jim again. He could not explain why he wanted to see him again, but he had questions, ones that need to be answered.

As he was beginning to leave once again after standing stiffly on the shore for twenty point two seconds, Spock was about to return home. Until he heard a deep voice softly…singing? At first Spock thought his hearing was deteriorating, singing was not found outside of operas on Vulcan.

Vulcans were created curious. And the alluring stranger's voice had piped his curiosity.

He trekked further down the beach to become faced with sharp rocks and was given clear hearing of the song the stranger was singing.

The rim and the starlight
My love
Is wandering in star-flight
I know
He'll find in star-clustered reaches
A star man teaches .
I know
His journey never ends
His Star trek
Will go on forever.
But tell him
While he wanders his starry sea
Remember me.~

Spock stood in a trance he did not know how to respond. He started to climb lower to the flat rocks that lay on a smaller level of the beach, to hear water splashing. He concluded the singer was trying to get away before Spock could even find them. "Please do not fear me, I promise no harm to your person. I am most curious to what you are singi-" As Spock landed on one of the flat rocks he stood stiff. The same eyes that have been haunting him for twelve years, four months and two days, peered up at him. He thought never to see Jim again, thought him to still be a hallucination or a figment of his imagination, that fateful night.


Here he was singing causally and radiating warmth that once again speared through Spock's body.

"You have grown nicely," lifting a light brow. "for a walker."


There is chapter two! Thank you to all that reviewed, follows,etc it is very pleasing to see in my inbox. Updating wise depending on when I get reviews and how I am feeling, and if I have time. There will be no set schedule when a new chapter will be added, I update very randomly (thanks to writers block) but i wont be like a 2 month wait, so don't worry :)

Guest1234: Thank you for your review, and I'll try to update quickly : )

Seressoth: And I look forward to you reading :) thanks for your review!

Solo16: I'll make sure to continue! Thanks for your review :D

Suga Bee: There will be more! I agree I wish this AU was more common but eh. P.S your user name is really cute *-*. Thanks for your review : )

That Lone Nightingale: I will continue! Don't worry fellow reader :) Thanks for your review : )

Kirkiness: Absolutely! : ) Thanks for your review! :D

Guest: He really is I wish there was more of him in mer form -_-. Anyway thanks for your review : )

( I resubmited this chapter cause i realized my dumbass didn't respond to reviews -_-. Sorry for those who reviewed! )

Happy Reading,