hey gez this is the_sarcasm_master and this is my first one-shit, lol. all u haters out there, if u dont like, dont read, this is my stry and i can do whatev i want with it. enjoy! be sure 2 review, ive only goten like 2 reviews ever, so, please? THANKS!

One day noah and coduy were sitin round at the resort (AN: LOL I DONT REMEMER WUT ITS CALLED) and started 2 talk 2 each oher boubt how they were doign afer there elimnations.

"Lol you got dropd in2 the ocen," Noah stated n his usul sarcstcly way.

"it wasnt my fault!1" Codee said crossing his arms (AN: I know codeys in a cast right now, but this is myy fic and if u odnt liek it, dont read it.)

"yeah right" Noah seas, roling his eyes. As he did so, cody loked in2 his eyes and thot wow he looks so hawt i nevr relized tht. lol, how culd i hsv ever been in luv with that goth girl...wut waz her nam again?

"I luv you!" cody blurted out sudenly! a silens drifted over them as noa froze. cody covred his hands ovr his mout, eyes scard. (AN: SO CUTE!)

"Wut," Noah sead n his usul sarcstcly way, looking scarred.

"i mean!111 no! this...this is coming out al wrong!111" cody looked like he was about 2 cry on2 his fadd yellow shirt an jeans, but noa placd hes hand on cody's shoulder comfutingly.

"its okay, cody," noah said, all te while thinking wow that gap in his teeh is cut,e and how he got hiz crush togeter even tho he couldnt b wit her, thats really nobel. and he wuz so good during the dodgball chalenge! i wish i tried dring that game so i could hav more time wit cody! omg!

"u sure?" cody whmpier like a puppy he wuz, and noah smild. he had such a beautiful, hawt smil, that made cosy smile too.

"i lik u too cody," noah said, loking hiz shoos. (AN: Awwwww...)

"relly?" cody seyd, loking up at noah wit pupy-dog eyes, and he noded somberly.

their lips touched, and didnt let go as cody led noa to his bedrom, making out all te way. noah dropd codys pants and cody dropped noas, still kising tightly, and prpared 2 get on the bed.

The door opened, and Chef appeared in a black jacket and round, dark shades. The two "lovers" screeched, as Chef turned to them.

"This is your last chance," he said in a mysterious voice, black holes in his eyes. "After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill – the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill – you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Remember, all I'm offering is the truth – nothing more."


Noah and Cody stood awkwardly, both with no pants on, and took two red pills out of Chef's hand, and quickly downed them. In another instant, Chef had vanished. Slowly, slowly, comprehension dawned on the two boys' faces, and they turned to each other, looks of horror on their faces. In another moment, they started screaming the girlish screams they're known for so well, and promptly started running around in circles.

"Your forehead is huge!" Cody cried out.

"Your underwear smells like lotion!" Noah responded, his patented over-the-top horrified expression on his face.

They stopped and looked at each other, and the fact that neither had pants on-and in Cody's case, no underwear. There was an awkward silence for about five seconds until Noah finally broke the silence.

"I really hope Izzy doesn't find out about this."

wut is going on her? u 2 are suposed 2 be having hot luv riht now!

"Where...are we?" Cody groaned while putting his pants on.

"I think we've been trapped inside some kind of universe where weird sickos can make us do whatever we want," Noah said, a deep blush still on his face as he pulled up his cargo shorts.

hey! i'm not weird or sik! u geys just ned to make out and hav sex so i can feel beter about myself. and y wont u guys do what i typ on the screen?

"You mean...WE'RE IN A FANFICTION?" Cody shouted, now just as horrified as Noah. Noah nodded grimly.

"Sadly, not a very good one. Dear god, if I'm forced to say 'lol' again, I'm probably going to 'lol' this author's head with a noose."

"So, can the...author make us do whatever he wants?"

"It's most likely a girl, Cody. You know how much they like Yaoi," Noah deadpanned.

hey, its hawt! u guys are jerks! and cody looked into noa's eyes, and said "i liek yaoi too." he moved in, redy to continue what hd been interupted.

Noah slapped Cody in the face, "Snap out of it, Cody! We need to find a way out of here! And I don't think we're going to do that just sitting around at the Playa all day. Wow...I never thought I'd see the day I'd be taking responsibility as opposed to sitting around in a resort. Heh."

"Okay, how are we going to get out?" Noah gave him a dark look. "You don't mean...the fourth wall?" Noah nodded grimly.

um, hello? u guys are suposed 2 be making out rigt now and fufling my fantasies.

"Ignore the voice in your head, Cody. It doesn't have any control of us anymore," Noah said, just before Cody was about to speak.

"Okay, so how are we going to get out of here without anyone seeing us?"

Noah smirked. "No one else exists in this fic. Except maybe Chef, whatever the hell that red pill blue pill thing was all about. So we should be home free."

"Let's go then!" Cody said frantically, "before I get another urge to kiss you!"

um, wut? wuts going on here? this isnt the fanfic i was trying to make! CURSE YOU MORPHEUS CHEF!

As the two boys quickly ran out of the bedroom, they glanced around, trying to find some method of escape, anything.

izzy shoed up and cackled. "u guys hav som makin out 2 do, ur not goin anywere!"

"Oh shit," Noah groaned as "izzy" pulled out a chainsaw. "I forgot that this universe operates by the author's rules, and therefore can put any character they want into it."

"So does that mean we can't escape?" Cody whimpered.

"No. We're disobeying the 'doctor's; orders right now, Cody. We can escape the hospital. Of course, there's a lower-case 'izzy' wielding a chainsaw in our path right now, so...yeah."

izzy cakled. "if u wont make out, u'll die! jerks! thats for ruining my fic!"

Cody yelped. leaping into the pool and out of izzy's way. Noah was not so lucky. The author-possessed girl kicked him, sending him flying back into the snack bar, where he lay in a crumpled heap. Cody pulled out of the water, soaking wet, and saw a water basketball. A grin spread itself across his face as he utilized his skills from the dodgeball challenge that the author-possessed Noah had thought was so hot.

izzy preprad 2 end the jrk egheds life. "u were my favorite chracter, then u had 2 disbey me in a fic!"

"If I'm your favorite character, then why are you trying to kill me with a chainsaw?" Noah deadpanned, his signature raised eyebrow on his face.

"duh, cuz this isnt canon, but it totes should be. if i were n charge of total drama you and cody wuld have been jeff and brigette in season 2."

Noah was about to deliver his patented "flat what," when izzy was knocked to the ground by a pool basketball. Cody grinned, motioning for Noah to follow him to the dock. The two boys ran.

all te total drama contestants apeard at the resort, chasin them and trying to save them from themselves so tey culd be wit their tru luvs.

"Of course it couldn't be that easy," Cody groaned, weaving around eva and dj. He was home free. But then, he was stopped in his tracks by a certain Goth girl.

"cody, if u hav sex with noa then i'll go out with u and be ur girlfrend 4ever."

Cody actually laughed at this. "Yeah, but without the canon status it just wouldn't be the same!" He pushed the demon-possessed gwen into the water, and a very battered Noah crawled up to him. "Ohhh...right, sorry."

come on, this isnt how its suppsed 2 go at all!

"Yeah, thanks for allowing duncan, justin, and owen to all dog pile me. I was needing some bone shattering," he sneered. Cody helped him up, and the two quickly scampered into the boat, as the angry mob of Total Drama contestants (and a couple of perfect-looking girls with perfect bodies and perfect personalities who the two boys had never met in their life but would probably instantly fall in love with if they'd met) jeered and booed as the two boys quickly sailed off.

"so, a boat alone wit just the 2 of us?" cody wigled his eyes. "wut possibilities!"

Noah slapped him again.

"Sorry, sorry! I don't know why I keep getting this and not you!"

"Maybe you're just more submissive," Noah snickered.

it wuz a darj nd stormed night. teh waves were HUGE, redy to knok over teh boat with just a singl wave. jsut enough time 2 tell each other how much they luved each other-

"No, not happening!" Noah called out as the two boys gripped the boat railing as the motor propelled them through the storm. The two boys were drenched. No, not in sweat. Rain, duh. What else could they be drenched in?

"Yeah, we're not doing anything you say!" Cody cried out furiously.

cody reaced over and kissed cody on teh lips. "no morpheus chef culd ever keep me from u," he said.

Noah watched in horror as Cody kissed a sudden clone of Cody who had appeared out of nowhere. "Um. What."

"AGGGH, WHAT THE HECK?" Cody brushed himself off frantically. The Cody clone had disappeared. "Stupid typing errors!" he yelled, shaking his soaked fist at the sky.

Noah shrugged as much as he could shrug in the high winds and rain. "Better you than me!"

weyt...i cant kil off my 2 fav charcters lyke ths! i luve thim, even tho they broke my hart by not making out in my fic! but...its not reel, so, yah, baot capsizes.

The two boys let out a scream as the boat tipped over. Water filled their eyes, ears, and mouth as they struggled to make it to the surface, but the author's control of the story was just too great. Cody stopped struggling, and calmed himself...he swam upwards, dragging Noah with him. He managed to tip the boat back over and they bobbed aimlessly as the storm died down.

inexplicably, thru the powr of luv, noa woke, and wit love in his eyes smild at cody. "my hero," he said, and leaned in for the kiss theyd ben longing for so long.

This time, it was Cody's turn to slap Noah, sending the Indian boy splashing into the water, and he yelled out as he flopped around, steadying himself before finally managing to grip the boat. "Ugh."

Cody climbed up into the boat and pulled Noah up with him. The two exhausted boys sat quietly in a strange doldrums, no author influence whatsoever. Silence. Silence. More silence. It was seeming as if the quiet rocking of the waves would never end.


The bow of the ship had crashed into a strange wall the color of the sky.

"We made it," Cody gasped in relief.

"The fourth wall," Noah said in wonder. The two got out of the boat onto the walkway on their side of the wall. After walking around for a while, Cody located a door leading out.

"Noah! Found it!"

Noah limped over to the door. The two boys prepared to exit, but were stopped by a strange voice.

wait, plz, wait! we can fix this!

"Hello, voice in my head," Noah sneered.

"Hello, ASSHOLE!" Cody flipped the bird towards the sky, where the disembodied, oh so educated voice was originating from.

u guys wernt suposed 2 leve. u guys arnt even canon. u shuld sty here. here, u can do whatever u want as long as u do wut i say sum of teh time.

"What a great deal," quoth Noah.

no, rly. u guys can do whatev jsut as long as i can rely on you for whatever fics i want. u guys can live in a perfect wrld. no chris, no total drama, just chillaxin at the resort...whatev its called.

"It's called Playa Des Losers," Cody said, crossing his arms angrily.

jsut...im begin u, plz...stay.

Cody and Noah glanced at each other. Cody looked up towards the sky. "And in case I don't see ya," he said, a grin forming across his face.

"Good afternoon, good evening, and good night!" the two boys said in unison, both with ridiculous grins on their faces.

And, as one, they walked through the door.


this cantn be! i cant right fanfics anymore? no! hey...weyt...


weyt...why r u guys holding baseball bats?

...oh shiht.