Bonus

Disclaimer: Again, I don't own Attack on Titan or Alice in Wonderland. Just the crazy.

Here are some additional scenes for the lulz.


"Is that supposed to be the Jabberwocky?" Eren asked dully. He was dressed as a white knight on the battlefield of a chessboard, standing next to Erwin, the White King. Ahead of him was Historia and the Red Army.

"Just go with it." His commander commanded.

"That's not a Jabberwocky."

"Let it go, Eren."

"That's just a titan. You want me to transform into a titan to fight another titan."

"Shut up, brat." Levi told him, sitting on his shoulder.

"I may not remember exactly what happens in the books because they were written so long ago, but I'm pretty sure there weren't any titans." Eren continued.

"He's right, the Jabberwocky is more like a dragon in nature, or some kind of monster." Armin added, standing next to Eren and hopping from foot to foot nervously.

"TITANS!" Hange yelled from the other side of the champion.

"Just…go out there and make me proud, son." Erwin said.

Eren blinked, turning to the White King. "You're not my father."

"Alright, gimme the potion so I can kick his ass." Levi grumbled, flying in front of Eren's face.

"No, he needs the bread so he can turn into a titan and fight the Red Queen!" Erwin said.

As they argued, Eren said "Fuck this shit" and went to hide in the garden, talking with Marco the flower because he was actually really nice.


"So how do you even fuck a flower?"

"EREN YOU CAN'T JUST ASK PEOPLE THAT!" Jean, the Knave of Hearts, yelled while blushing madly. "AND WE'RE NOT FUCKING!"

"That's not what I heard." Reiner muttered to Bert.

"Eren, I'm a bunny, Annie's a mouse, and Reiner is wearing a weird hat. I don't think logic plays an important role in this story." Bert replied as Jean continued to seethe.


"I can't take you seriously as a butterfly, Corporal." Eren confessed as said butterfly glared him down. The would-be Alice merely blinked, unaffected.

"Just deal with it, Jaeger. And stop calling me Corporal, we're not in Attack on Titan right now." Levi the Butterfly huffed.

"Wow, I can't believe how much we're breaking the fourth wall." Armin deadpanned.

"That's not the only wall we're gonna be breaking."

"REINER NO!"

"HATTER, SMASH!"

"TITANS!"

"Oh great, now they got Hange all worked up."


Eren couldn't stop staring at Armin's fluffy white tail. It was just there, resting against his bum, a little ball of fur. He wanted to touch it, but his friend would probably freak out. He was gonna touch it anyway.

When Armin wasn't looking, instead talking with the White King about the time, Eren reached out his hand, slowly, so slowly, ever…so…slowly…

A finger poked the white cottony mass. All conversation ceased. Everyone turned to look at him. Eren's eyes were wide, his finger still in contact with the bunny tail.

"He touched the butt." Connie and Sasha whispered together.

Armin turned to look at Eren, whose finger began to withdraw. The White Rabbit's face was dark, Armin's stare piercing and frightening. Even Levi turned into a butterfly and fluttered away, calling, "Heichou out!" on his way.

"Don't…" Armin began in a serious tone. "Drop that durka durk." He grinned.

"Eyyyyyy!" Eren replied with a smile.

"DON'T DROP THAT DURKA DURK!" They continued in unison, laughing.

The Duchess sighed, shaking her head. "You guys are dorks."


Eren meets The Duchess, Take 1

Eren entered the house, confused and wary. When he recognized Mikasa, he was relieved.

"Oh, so this is your new place, huh?" He asked, glancing around.

Mikasa blinked. "Eren that's not the line."

Eren meets The Duchess, Take 2

Eren entered, glancing back at the Tweedle Twins with mild disdain. He looked around the house until see The Duchess.

"Mikasa…" Eren began. The Duchess nodded. "Su casa!" Eren exclaimed, arms gesturing to the house. The Duchess face palmed.

"How long did you wait to make that joke?"

"Literally all day." Eren said, still laughing. Mikasa sighed.


Author's Note: Because they were hilarious but didn't fit with the actual story. If I think of more, or if I get suggestions, I'll add more bonus chapters!