Disclaimer: Title from 'Tell Me Where It Hurts' by Halestorm, characters aren't mine but I wrote this
Mentions and thanks: I have to thank my beta (who is extremely awesome and made this fic a lot better than it was so yeah... thanks Sammy) and also my friends Sariana and Laura (tumblr users randomrover and whizz-bee respectively) for putting up with my excitement at this.
He was going to get himself killed. Whether it was by Zelena, another enemy of his or even some of his former allies whom he had royally pissed off, Robin Hood had a death wish. One which the Evil Queen was one step away from fulfilling.
"What were you thinking?" Regina admonished when she found him in one of the many hallways of the castle. Where he was he had no idea; he had just kept walking trying to figure out the best way to explain what had happened and had ended up in the middle of nowhere, quite lost indeed. In his defence all of the corridors did look very similar; the stone walls having a mirror or a painting hung upon them at some point, the polished floors reflecting the light off the candles placed at regular intervals and they all seemed to smell the same, what they smelt of he couldn't quite put his finger on, but it wasn't an altogether unpleasant smell. At least until you were lost and trying to look for any clue as to where you were; then everything was unpleasant.
Robin had only wanted to make his escape from the gathering when he heard her majesty was approaching; the last thing he needed was yet another verbal sparring match with the very woman who was occupying his thoughts without his permission. But, alas, that was not to be. She was here, in front of him, with her hands on her hips, a perfect eyebrow raised and an expectant look on her face. "Well?"
"I was thinking that…" Before he could explain his thought processes, which actually did make sense if only in his own mind, he was interrupted.
"I don't think you were! No one who has any common sense would think that-"
Robin cut her off mid-sentence. "Your Majesty, I fail to see the problem here; no harm has been caused by my actions." Interrupting the Evil Queen was something that was simply not done if you wished to live another day. Apparently the Outlaw had always liked living on the edge.
"Tell that to my North Wall. And you don't even have a source of income to fix it, thief." If it wasn't bad enough that Regina had to repair a reasonably sized gap in her wall, she couldn't fine him as a sort of punishment; what could a thief, who steals expensive and extravagant treasures just to give them away, possibly have to take?
He wanted to die. Regina was sure he wanted to die. She was already angry at the fact that she had a hole to fix, but discovering that the person responsible had been none other than the thief she was trying so desperately to avoid had stepped the anger up a notch, and now he thought he had the right to interrupt her? She was livid. Regina was nearly certain that her breathing had increased and she could hear her own pulse pounding in her ears, her anger swelling as it often did when the outlaw was around.
"My apologies. If there is anything I can do to help, your majesty-" Robin began.
Regina scoffed. "Oh? And what are you going to do, outlaw? Shoot arrows at it? You have nothing that could be of service to me."
"I've many skills apart from shooting arrows, milady." The thief was aware that his voice had gained a slightly husky tone to it; yet he couldn't find it in himself to care. Apparently the way her chest rose—almost out of her tightly fitted corset—with every breath had affected Robin more than he would have liked to admit.
Having noted the way the outlaw was acting, Regina smirked and put on the charm; she was aware her smile could disarm men if she wanted it to. And if the thief wanted to play this game, she was going to win.
"Well I've yet to see them," the Queen retorted.
"Would you like to?" he said slyly. With his hands in his pockets, a glint in his eyes and a devilish smile on his face, Robin felt very bold. But so did Regina. At least, she did, until she'd let her eyes graze over the silhouette of his neck and up across his chiselled jaw and instead of her usual desire to throw him to the ground and punch him repeatedly, she wanted to be on top of him doing… other things. That would not do. So with her arms folded in front of her and her expression morphed into something less flirty and more Evil Queen-like, she attempted to steer the topic away from the slippery, tension-filled slope they were travelling down.
"What I'd like is for you to stop trying to distract me. Don't think that you can use your pretty face to get out of this one. There are-"
"My pretty face, eh, your majesty?" said the thief with a stupid smirk. "Does my appearance make you…uncomfortable?" Obviously, Robin was bound and determined to be insufferable and immature. He pouted and widened his eyes to look innocent and if Regina hadn't been imagining biting those lips she would've found the face to be quite comical.
"It's just an expression," Regina evaded.
Robin took a step toward her. "You didn't answer my question." He was just close enough for her to reach out and grab his jacket without taking a step forward. And, Regina reminded herself, if she were to grab him it would be with the sole intention to push him away. Under no circumstances were the thoughts of pulling him closer entering her head. They weren't. Not even a little bit.
"Do you think I'm attractive, your majesty?" asked Robin with a smirk.
The Queen straightened her shoulders, "I never said that."
"You said I was pretty," he grinned.
"I didn't mean it."
"Are you sure about that?"
"Yes," she answered sternly.
Their quick-fire banter stopped, a fact that the Queen was extremely thankful for. He was starting to get inside her head, the plan of keeping to herself and pushing everyone away until she felt together again was becoming increasingly difficult. If he was going to keep this up, she should get rid of him; bribe him with gold or something. Regina could not afford to have this man worm his way into her life, whether it was his intention or not.
It was. It so was. And this was it, if there was ever an opportune moment to take a risk and finally act on instincts, it was this one. So, taking a deep breath and praying to whatever god of seduction there was out there, Robin looked in Regina's beautiful brown eyes, took a deep breath and moved one step closer to her.
"And yet," he breathed, "I bet if I was to take a step closer, your breath would get caught in your throat." True to his word, he stepped closer, no longer at arm's length. In fact if she were to bend her arms—which were glued to her sides, and if the queen had any say in the matter they would stay there—at the elbows she would be able to grasp his jacket. And, as the outlaw had predicted, her breath hitched as she glanced to his lips which were slightly parted, slightly chapped and entirely irresistible.
Please, just leave now, begged Regina's thoughts, you've made your point, just stop talking and walk away.
Robin opened his mouth to speak again and Regina inwardly groaned. "And I also bet, if I were to whisper in your ear…" He was leaning forward.
His next words were whispered with his cheek against her own, lips ghosting her skin and the feel of his breath over her skin evoking shivers to run down her back. "You'd shiver."
Damn it, she swore internally, her body had never betrayed her like this. And whatever he thought she was going to do next she was definitely not going to. Unless he thought she would punch him in the face because, that, she wouldn't mind doing.
"And I think, your majesty, if I were to leave now," Robin continued, pulling back, and Regina let herself hope he'd leave completely. But when he simply moved his lips from her ear to an inch away from her own she had to refrain from sighing in frustration, "you'd miss me being this close to you."
Regina's eyes drifted closed as the words were spoken directly over her lips, which parted upon a slow and deep exhale. Her tongue wet her lips which were suddenly incredibly dry and Robin licked his own before moving back, ever so slightly. Seeing the Queen standing there, eyes closed, lips parted, hands fisting at her sides in her long coat brought a smirk to his face. She looked… stunning.
She opened her eyes to catch a glimpse of his smirk. That stupid smirk. Up until a few minutes ago, she would've gladly wiped it off of his smug face. Now? Her mind was edging her towards kissing it away, and those were dangerous thoughts. Robin was shifting his weight, preparing to leave her and she vowed to herself that she would let him. Just let him go to prove he was wrong… but he wasn't wrong. She would miss him being that close if he left. Unable to explain why, she wanted him near her again. She wanted to feel his breath ghosting over her skin, his fresh, woodland scent invading her senses and his hands all over her. The thief took a step back and every thought Regina had entertained about letting him leave vanished, leaving her with her whole body itching to pull him close once more.
Her hands reached for the lapels of his shirt and she exhaled as she pulled him towards her, crashing her lips onto his. The force made Regina stumble back a step or two, Robin's hands coming to her waist to steady them both. Regaining her footing, Regina pulled harder until he had her pressed against the wall behind her, his right leg wedging between her knees and his hands pinning her hips into place against the wall as he ground into her. A moan made its way from Regina's throat to her lips and Robin felt the grip she had on his jacket tighten as her tongue swiped his lower lip. He tilted his head and deepened the kiss, putting more force into his actions as his right hand made its way upwards; trailing his fingers up her side, past the curve of her breast and once he had lightly scraped his nails along her collar bone – drawing a delicious sigh from the Queen – Robin moved his hand to the base of her head and grasped a handful of her raven hair, the secure up-do coming undone, not unlike the person who had secured it in the first place.
It couldn't have been more than thirty seconds before they parted, Regina clinging onto his bottom lip with her teeth for a split second before releasing him. They were both breathing heavily, foreheads against each other trying to calm their heart rates for a second.
"Regina…" Robin breathed out.
Of all the witty comebacks and sassy remarks she had in her repertoire, they all seemed to have failed her, leaving Regina to merely whisper "Robin…" in response.
"What is this?" he asked.
"I do believe it's called a kiss, outlaw," she retorted. Regina knew perfectly well what he was referring to and it wasn't that. But she didn't have an answer for him yet.
"I know that. I meant what is this?" The hand that was at her hip was now between them, gesturing from her to him then back again.
Regina looked away from him for a second to gather her thoughts which were in complete disarray. What was this? It wasn't anything, yet. One kiss. That was it. One kiss that was quite nice. Very, very nice if she would let herself admit it. A kiss that she wouldn't mind repeating. Her mind went blank, leaving Regina with images of his hands and lips all over her. That wasn't helping her think about this at all.
What did she want? A relationship was out of the question. There was no way she could—or would—open herself up like that, she was still trying to piece herself together after saying goodbye to her son. Her heart had no room for anyone else. Besides, she didn't love him, and a few seconds ago she didn't even like him. She still wasn't sure if she did now. No, whatever this was, it was not going to involve feelings. Just something to keep Regina's mind off the impending battle that was undoubtedly going to happen between her and her sister—half-sister, if you wanted to get technical. Something to keep her distracted… that was what this was going to be.
"A distraction," she said finally.
Robin nodded, apparently feeling content with her label of them.
"Just to clarify; I still don't like you," continued Regina.
The latter sentence made him scoff with a mutter of "obviously". If this was how she kissed when she didn't like him, then he was doomed if she ever actually started to.
"Shut up," she said with a crinkle of a smile.
Before Robin could utter the words 'make me' Regina had her lips pressed against his again, her left foot making its way up his calf to keep him close to her. The hand that Robin had removed from her hip went to join his other one in Regina's hair. Regina gave him a push away from her and Robin was confused as to what he did wrong until he realised he was facing the opposite direction and felt his back hit the wall. He opened his eyes to see the Queen looking quite predatory; with darkened eyes and her bottom lip between her teeth she ran her hands up his torso to his shoulders. Regina smiled before going back for yet another kiss, which Robin gladly gave. The hands that were at his shoulders were now untucking his shirt and making their way under it, her nails raking down his abs and forcing a groan from his throat. He snaked his arms around her until she was pressed against him with no room to move; her hands travelled around the path of his belt to his back where she dragged her nails in with enough force to make him hiss a little. Regina smiled in victory.
Just as Regina was about to suggest they move to a more private location than a corridor, the voices of the last two people she wanted to see made their way to her ears. Acting quickly she pushed herself away from Robin and set about righting her hair. Robin still looked slightly dazed when movement to his right caught his eye. It was Snow and Charming. They seemed to be in deep conversation and he took a moment to straighten his shirt before they looked up and saw him and Regina. Together. Alone. Their conversation stopped when they noticed; Snow walked over with a kind smile on her face, looking between the two with a slightly curious glance.
"Robin. Regina. Is everything okay?" she asked.
Regina was quickly looking for an explanation for their close proximity but couldn't come up with one better than 'we were arguing and then he tried to seduce me so I kissed him'.
She sighed, "Well… if your definition of okay is for a giant hole to be—"
"It isn't giant," Robin muttered under his breath.
Regina was having none of it. "It is giant," she said to him before turning back to Snow and continuing without pause; "a giant hole to be knocked into a wall by a thief that I now have to fix, than yes, everything is okay."
Charming gave Robin a slightly impressed look, "That hole…that was you?"
"Indeed. I tried to apologize," insisted Robin.
"You did no such thing," argued Regina.
"I did!" Robin replied indignantly, "You were just too busy being too much of a stubborn arse to accept it."
"Me?" This was better, verbal sparring, Regina's comfort zone. She could do this. "You were the one who—"
"Now don't go about killing each other," said Charming. Of course he had to ruin her fun. "If Robin apologized and I'm assuming he is willing to offer his help," He looked to Robin for confirmation and received it in the form of his nod, "then I think we can work something out."
"Of course we can," said Regina with a smile, appearing calm. Although to Snow, Charming and Robin, it seemed more like the calm before the storm. She turned to Robin. "Today or tomorrow?"
"I'm sorry. What?" he asked, confused.
"Your execution. Today or tomorrow?"
Snow and Charming looked at each other with worried expressions; the last thing they wanted was for things to become even more difficult between the Queen and the outlaw. Robin, however, saw the mischievous glint in her eye along and the corner of her mouth showing the signs of her signature smirk.
"Well, that all depends, your majesty," he said.
Regina raised an eyebrow, "On what?"
"Do I get a last request?" So, apparently they were continuing the dangerous, flirty game they had started earlier.
"Well, that all depends, thief." Her voice dipped to a dangerous tone, if Robin was to say he didn't find it at least a tiny bit sexy he'd be lying.
"What would you like?" Her voice was dripping with suggestion and the possibilities that were running through his head were not suitable to speak out loud. Robin spent a few seconds trying to clear images of Regina lying on her back with her spine arched, her hands in his hair and his name on her lips, and by the look on her face, Regina knew exactly what he was thinking anyway.
"For you to accept that you were wrong in not accepting my apology," Robin said finally. Perhaps if Snow and Charming weren't there he'd be brave enough to voice the more explicit of his wishes.
"Keep dreaming, outlaw," Regina scoffed.
"Worth a shot," he said with a sigh. Pushing himself off the wall he had been leaning on, the thief took a few steps in the direction he hoped was his room—he was still getting used to the size of the Queen's palace. "If that was all?" He turned and began to walk away from the trio.
"I'm not done with you, Locksley," the Queen said lowly.
"I'd be disappointed if you were," He paused for a beat before turning back to Regina, "I still don't like you, your majesty."
"The feeling's mutual, thief."
He smiled at her. She smiled back. He walked down the corridor and Regina watched him until he stopped at the end and debated which way to turn for a moment before making a left. Regina shook her head with a sly grin before turning back to Snow and Charming, the former of which examined her with a knowing smile.
"What?" Regina snapped.
"He's growing on you." Snow stated with a smile.
"No, he's not," she denied. She would refuse to admit that. Yes, she had just kissed him but that was just a distraction; a way to focus on something other than her lost son or her crazy sister—half-sister. It did not mean she liked him. He was not 'growing on her'. She felt the same about him now as she did when she first met him, with the exception of finding him slightly more attractive but you don't make out with someone against a wall and not find them slightly more attractive afterwards. And anyway… he started it.
"He's growing on me." Snow, apparently wouldn't let it go, "and I can see he is on you too. Go on, admit it."
"No," said the Queen defiantly.
"'No' you won't admit it or 'no' he's not growing on you?" Regina looked at Snow, prepared for an intense verbal attack. But from the hopeful look on the younger woman's face, appearing more like the little girl she saved than the one she destroyed; she didn't mean any harm.
Regina decided to fall back on her arsenal of retorts. "Fine," she confessed, "he is growing on me."
Snow looked slightly shocked at the admission, but smiled at her husband like they were sharing a secret.
"Like a weed," continued Regina. "He's hard to get rid of, he smells strange and he's everywhere he's not wanted." Snow and Charming's smile faded.
Regina walked away, leaving the married couple to wonder what had just happened. Regina, meanwhile, was making her way to her room with a bright grin on her face; wondering when she would next be distracted, and looking forward to that moment all the more.
Author's note: Originally intended as a one-shot but I have a few other ideas that I could turn into a story if people like this.
I haven't written in years so I'm a little rusty; please leave a review because it helps me so much and brings a smile to my face :)