4Sorry for the long wait! Work was busy and this chapter took a long time for me to get right. It's still not all that great but it's as good as it will get. I will try to get the next chapter out faster but no promises because I don't want to lie.
Hope you enjoy the new chapter!
For the last few days that Sebastian has been in psychiatry, Sebastian has woken up early in the morning every day from the sun filtering in through the windows. That means, every morning at six-thirty in the morning, Sebastian has opened his eyes and has not once been able to go back to sleep and actually sleep in like a normal person. However, Sebastian just guesses that is how he has always been. The nurses told him that even though his mind doesn't remember anything, his body will remember. Therefore, waking up early in the morning must have been a Sebastian Thing before he lost his memory.
Today is no different from the last few days; Sebastian still wakes up at six-thirty, he gets changed into the same clothing he was wearing the night he was standing on the edge of the bridge (after the nurses washed them of course), and then going out into the "living room" where all the patients go to watch TV, play board games, cards, or just to sit down and watch people on the floor.
People watching is Sebastian's best past time since arriving at the hospital. Especially on this floor where there is such different people with different disorders. It's like a sick obsession as there really is nothing else to do besides eat, sleep, and find whatever you can to distract yourself from the life of the hospital. Therefore, Sebastian began to watch the other patients on the floor to keep himself entertained because there is always something going on everyday.
His favourite person to watch is John Tulip, a man who has been in psychiatry for four years. He apparently hears people in his head, telling him to do different things; some innocent, like sneak a pen from the nurses station and place it somewhere, anywhere the voice tells him to. Once, the nurse found her lost pen on accident as she was watering one of the plants. People instantly knew it was John who put it there. However, some of the things the voices say in John's head are not that innocent.
Sebastian saw this first hand during one of his people watching moments. John Tulip walked into the "living room," his hands fidgeting at his sides as he stalked towards the table where two other patients were playing chess. Sebastian, since he has watched each patient closely everyday, viewed this as odd. Usually, John would sit down on one of the chairs in front of the TV if he came into the living room at all. John, Sebastian learns, is not a very sociable guy, so to see him actively go towards other humans, well, Sebastian was a bit curious.
As Sebastian continues to watch John, he also notices a metal butter knife in his left hand, which is shaking. Patients usually get plastic forks and knives for the very purpose of protecting the patients from each other and themselves. The only way for John to have an actual metal knife in his hand, he would have had to steal it from the nurses lounge, which is almost impossible.
I guess not for John, Sebastian thinks.
Heart beating harder as Sebastian continues to watch John walk to the other patients playing chess, he gets up from where he's been sitting and signals to one of the nurses. When he gets the nurse behind the counter's attention he points toward John, who is now standing right beside the table of the two chess players.
The chess players, whose names are Frankie and Tracey, look up at the same time the nurse looks in the direction Sebastian was pointing to. Sebastian could see the realization come over the nurses face as she quickly got up off her chair behind the desk and called for the orderlies for help just as John brought the edge of the butter knife to Frankie's throat and pulled him off his chair with a force Sebastian was not at all expecting.
Thankfully, the orderlies came running down the hallway, removing John's hold on the butter knife and Frankie's throat. John kicks out, seemingly wanting to hurt the two burly men restraining him from doing anymore damage to Frankie.
That was the first time Sebastian realized that watching TV, playing games, sleeping, and eating are not the most interesting things to do while waiting for time to go by. Watching the people on the psychiatry is much more entertaining and interesting. It's definitely better than watching TV, especially when the news comes on all he sees is his story being displayed.
It has been a few days and Sebastian hasn't watched television unless it is on a channel that he knows won't include a 3 minute segment about the mystery man on the edge of the bridge, so he doesn't know if the news is still talking about him but he doesn't want to risk it.
However, today, people watching does not distract Sebastian in the same way it has before because today is different from the days before. Sebastian knows today is when everything changes. Today is when Sebastian's fiancé comes to see him.
What was his name again? Sebastian wonders to himself. Kevin? Kirk? The nurse told Sebastian yesterday after they got the call from—Karl?—saying that he was only able to get a flight from New York—wait so I got on plane from New York to Paris just to jump off a bridge? Sebastian had thought to himself—to Paris a day and a half after he phoned the first time to check if it really was Sebastian, his supposed fiancé. Which means today is when—Kelly?—is coming to the hospital and Sebastian has no idea what to expect.
Will he instantly remember his love for his fiancé on first glance? Will he have no recollection of him at all? Would he even want to still be with—Keith? Or maybe, with Sebastian having no memory of anything, this K named person will want nothing to do with him anymore.
Then where will I be? K is the only person who has any idea who Sebastian is—or was. If he rejects Sebastian, Sebastian will be all alone; he'll have to start over as someone else. Create a new personality, change his name. Would he even be gay anymore? Who knows, maybe he's bi.
This causes Sebastian to crack a little smile. Yeah right. There is one thing Sebastian knows for sure and that is that he is gay. Definitely gay, even though he does not remember learning the word gay or even bi. But apparently he did learn it at some point. He just does not remember when. How old was he when he learned what gay meant and that he was one? Who was his first boyfriend? Do his parents accept him? Does he even have parents anymore, because if he did they would have wanted to see him just as much as—Kyle?—does, right?
It was at that moment that the door to the psychiatry ward opened. Sebastian sucked in a breath, preparing himself for the person walking in who he is sure is K. However, who actually comes through the door is even worse. A blonde woman with a microphone in her hand stomps her heals through the door followed by a burly man holding a large video camera on his shoulder. The woman is wearing a tight-fitting blue dress with black, high heals on.
"Oh there he is," the woman's high voice says as she begins to walk towards Sebastian. "Start rolling Jerry. The fiancé will be here any minute and you know Channel 8 always delivers what the audience wants."
The nurse behind the counter begins to stand up and tells the two news people to leave; however, they do not listen. The woman still walks toward Sebastian. He can see the nurse pick up the phone on her desk, calling for security probably.
"3...2...1," Jerry says and the woman turns towards the camera and begins to speak.
"Here I am at Pitié-Salpêtrière Hospital where we will watch, first hand the reunion of one man who has lost the love of his life and another man who has lost all of his memories. It's a real-life tragic love story and we are fortunate enough to see it, as are you folks watching on TV. The reunion should happen any minute now as the fiancé will be arriving soon, but before that happens, we will speak with the man who has captured the attention of many people over the world!"
At this, the woman begins to stomp her heels towards where Sebastian is standing awkwardly. Sebastian takes a couple of step backwards, as if that will keep the woman from reaching him. However, she reaches him, determined to deliver her story even as the nurse speaks angrily into the phone, telling security to get here as soon as possible.
"Hello," the woman says. "I'm Danielle Clare and I know this is a very overwhelming day for you, but the audience would love to know how you are feeling at the moment. Are you excited to see your fiancé for the first time? Have you remembered anything about your life? Do you think there will be any chance of you and your fiancé reconnecting even with the obstacle of no memories in your way?"
Sebastian stares, frozen in place, unable to think of anything to say. How is he supposed to answer any of these questions when he hasn't even met this K person yet? He doesn't even know his name or what he looks like or what he sounds like. He doesn't even have one memory of his fiancé or any other part of his life.
"I-I...um," he stumbles, but before he has to think of how to finish his sentence, the door to the psychiatry opens again and another male walks in. The man's brown hair looks disheveled as if he raked his fingers through it many times. His clothes are not much better, which causes Sebastian to frown, as if he knows that is not normal at all, even though he has no idea why. The man's blue t-shirt looks wrinkled and one half of the shirt is tucked into the gray sweat pants while the rest hangs out, as if he quickly changed clothes and didn't bother looking himself over before leaving. This causes Sebastian to believe, at first, that this man is just another patient. However, that idea is quickly disregarded in a couple of moments.
The disheveled man darts his eyes back and forth in the room before they land on Sebastian's form. Sebastian's green eyes meet the man's blue eyes and instantly he feels less anxious and more calm, though he's unsure why this man has that effect on him.
"Sebastian," the man whispers before quickly striding toward Sebastian.
"This is amazing. Are you getting this Jerry?" Sebastian hears Danielle say before his attention is completely on the man now standing in front of him.
Before Sebastian could really process what was happening, he felt arms wrap around his neck, pulling him toward the stranger who feels almost like coming home. Sebastian takes a deep breath of the unfamiliar, but also familiar, scent of the man, before wrapping his own arms around the man's waist, holding him tight against himself. He could feel something wet land on his shoulder and slowly realized that the man is crying.
Instinctively, Sebastian hushed the stranger and tightened his hold around the man's waist. For some reason, being in this man's arms feels...right. Like this is what he's been missing ever since he "woke up" on the edge of the bridge. Like this K man is who he was searching for as he looked out towards the water. He feels like he just came home and it terrifies him.
Distantly, he hears the woman and man complaining as the security forces them out of the room.