Hello once again. It certainly has been a while, hasn't it? Let's get this show on the road.


Heather calmly slithered onto the stage, looking to be as deadly and lithe as a viper. In the years that had past she had become slightly more mature but no less cunning or ruthless in her demeanor, and no less ambitious in life. She was not "evil," merely willing to do things and come off as a b****, which she didn't really care about. She was here, wasn't she? Receiving an Academy Award and all. To her, once she amassed enough money she could settle down and just live a normal life yelling at people she didn't care about.

She took the statue with a visible smirk, giving off an impression of false humility to the crowd. "Thank you!" she said as she held the mic in her hands. She cleared her throat.

"I'd like to thank the Academy for giving me this award. I mean, I was the obvious choice. I'm glad they were able to see that. I mean, did you see the other girl going for Best Actress? She had like, a beer belly. Can we all say 'ew?' Well, enough about lesser beings, let's talk about myself, shall we?"

"B****!" Someone yelled from the audience, being sure to censor their word so as to keep things K+ rating.

"Thank you!" Heather replied happily. "Now, as I was saying, let's talk about how I got to be standing here today a little bit, shall we?"

It was quiet in the audience.

Heather sighed. "Whatever. Never mind. Let's just get a move on then."

"I started out as just a lowly peasant, pretty much. I was always seeking victory. I wanted to do something memorable. I mean, I'd always been popular at school and knew I was destined for greatness, but-"

"No you weren't!"

"SHUT UP DAMIEN AND LET ME GIVE MY SPEECH! Anyway, as I was saying, I know that I'm expected to like, thank my family. But when a certain member of my family is heckling me when I'm receiving an Academy Award do forgive me for getting a bit pissy! So I would love to thank my parents for all their love and support...and my good-for-nothing brother...can go f*** himself."

What's the point of having a K+ rating if the characters are gonna cuss like every five seconds. God...

The crowd laughed, and Heather smiled. "Yeah, I'm crass. But you can stick it up your a**."

More laughter, and Heather started laughing as well, unable to stop. The laughter rather...dissolved into a maniacal cackling befitting that of a witch or something. Or something worse, like insane Heather in Total Drama Action.

Slowly, she calmed down and looked out into the audience to see that they were all staring at her in slight shock and fear.

"What? It's laughter! It's healthy to let out your emotions once in a while. But...yeah, I'm sorry. I'll be going now, I guess."

"GOOD!" the heckler said.

Heather ignored him. "Thank you so much again! And Alejandro? SUCK IT!"

With mild, scattered, slightly afraid applause, Heather walked off the stage.