1A/N: Here is my second Sevenwaters fanfic! It focuses on Padriac, and his life after the end of 'Daughter of the Forest'. Reviews would be very welcome.
Disclaimer: The Sevenwaters series belongs to Juliet Marillier.
The Sailor
On the day Padriac leaves Sevenwaters, Sorcha weeps.
It hurts Padriac to hear it. Sorcha is the sister of his heart, as well as his blood, and he hates to see her like this, as if a part of her were broken to pieces at his departure. He is not surprised at it, though. During the curse, she lost him and his brothers to the lake, and the life of a swan, and gave up everything to bring them back. It is torture to her that she must lose him a second time, and so soon after he has returned to the human world.
For months Sorcha has pleaded with him to stay—at least until Niamh is born, she said- but his mind is made up, has been made up ever since he returned to Sevenwaters months ago and felt the shadows of the past hovering around him. The lady Oonagh laughing, mulberry eyes blazing with triumph and malice as she lifted her hands. His animals, his dear animals, dying one by one at her hands. The mist swirling around him, paralysing him, changing him into a creature of the wild.
Though she is squeezed between Red and Liam, she seems to be all alone, a pale, fragile, breakable thing that should be handled carefully lest it shatter. It is a measure of her strength that she does not break down now, at this moment she has been dreading for so long. Padriac's heart swells enormously at her courage and her fortitude, the very things that saved his life. He will miss her, this sister of his. He will miss her every day he is away.
She clutches him close, and Padriac can feel the hot wetness of her tears. 'Come back,' she whispers. 'Whatever you need to do, wherever you go, just come back.'
'I will,' he whispers back.
She knows he is lying.
OOO
The life of a sailor suits Padriac. He likes the adventure of it, the bustle, the danger. It pulls him like a firefly is pulled towards the light. With his crew of ten men, he sails as far east as Galicia, as far north as Norway. They encounter storms of gigantic proportions and escape unscathed, and discover sea-creatures Padriac has never heard of before.
Padriac does not even have time to think of Sevenwaters, or plan a surprise return there. He does not wonder about the lives of Sorcha or Liam or Red, or if Cormack and Diarmid have returned yet with their father. Again and again he imagines returning to Sevenwaters and seeing the amazed joy on the faces of his family at the sight of him come home at last. But he only returns to Sevenwaters three times in the next eighteen years, despite all his imaginings and his promise to Sorcha. He is too afraid of the memories that lie in wait there.
In a port town of Galicia, Padriac meets Samara, a young woman with ebony-hued skin, long dark hair and a blazing white smile. As soon as he sees her he knows that he has found the other half of his soul. Just so he can be near her, he asks her to be the first mate of his ship, and she agrees. On their sea journeys, he comes to admire her greatly because of her calmness in the face of danger, her wicked sense of humour, and her adventurous spirit. Eventually, he screws up the courage to ask her to marry him.
'Who, me?' she asks, her eyes sparkling. 'Surely there are other women a man like you might be interested in?'
'No,' Padriac says decisively. 'There is no other woman for me but you, Samara.'
Samara agrees enthusiastically, and three days later they are married in a small chapel in Galicia. As they stand in the midst of their crewmates, being slapped heartily on the back and receiving well-wishes and gifts, Padriac feels that he is the happiest man in the world.
OOO
Within days their joy is shattered. Padriac receives a letter, worn and tattered from weeks spent on a ship. Though the writing is almost illegible in its shakiness, it is unmistakably that of his brother Liam whom he has not seen for over three years. The news it brings turns Padriac's heart cold.
You must return to Sevenwaters, and soon, Liam writes. Our sister is dying. As every day passes she weakens and loses her grip on life. Janis says that by Beltaine she will be bedridden. She would want to see you again, after so long.
The words are blurred by Padriac's tears. He bows his head and thrusts the paper away, his shoulders shaking with the strength of his grief. Why? He wants to shout. Why now? Why Sorcha? She is his sister, his beloved sister. She saved me, saved us all. Without her, we would be dead, or worse. Why are the gods so cruel?
He does not hear Samara's approach, or feel her strong hands touch his shoulders. 'Padriac, what is wrong?' she asks, her voice a balm to his pain.
He looks up, then. He hates to spoil their happiness so soon, but it cannot be helped. He must return to Sevenwaters to bid his sister farewell.
'Samara,' he says. 'I fear that I must return to Sevenwaters. And you must come with me.'
OOO
Padriac and his retinue cause quite a stir as they enter Sevenwaters, which causes him to grin despite it all. He had chosen his three most trusted shipmates to accompany him on this solemn journey, as well as Samara and a talking parrot which he thought would make a nice touch. They had travelled through the Sevenwaters Forest right up to the keep without alerting Liam's guards—Padriac is proud of that, and secretly laughs at Liam's annoyance at it. But his brother is genuinely glad to see him, which Padriac is grateful for, for he was not certain of his welcome at Sevenwaters after so many years away.
Liam takes him to see Sorcha. Padriac is shocked at her condition. She has always seemed fragile, but now she looks as if she would disintegrate. Her skin is pale and tight, and she looks like a half-spirit leaning against the soft pillows that line her bed. Her face lights up to see him.
'You came,' she says, her voice just a breath of a whisper. Padriac has to lean in close to hear her.
'I did,' Padriac agrees.
'I am glad,' Sorcha says. 'I so wanted…' Her voice trails away as a cough racks her body, painfully harsh.
'I know,' he says quietly. 'I know.'
'I know how much it must hurt you to return here,' Sorcha says faintly. 'It was so long ago, but I will never forget it. Not even after I am dead.'
Padriac just manages not to flinch at the dreaded word. 'She did terrible things here,' Sorcha continues. 'So much was lost. But not everything. We managed to defeat her, the seven of us.'
Padriac fights back the tears that threaten to consume him. 'I will never forget it. You saved us. You wove those shirts, even though the barbs damaged your hands. You kept your silence for all those years, all because of us. I will never forget.' And he wouldn't. Her love and sacrifice is the reason he is standing before her now, watching her die.
'The wheel turns and returns,' Sorcha smiles faintly. 'I will always be here, in spirit. I will never fully leave you, Red, Liam, Conor, Finbar, Niamh and the twins. I will be out there somewhere, in some form.'
'I know,' Padriac tries to smile as well, but all he can manage is a teary grimace.
'When I was waiting to be burnt at the stake, I truly thought I was going to die then. I remember weeping and panicking and praying that Red would come to rescue me. I thought of our mother, how she was so calm dying, saying goodbye to us. I thought that when the time came, I would be as calm. Now it has come.'
'Don't say it,' Padriac whispers. 'Please don't say it.'
Sorcha stares gravely at him. 'It is true, Padriac. You have to accept it. I am dying.'
The tears flood his eyes before he can prevent them. He shudders, and the sobs begin to rack his body and he can't stop them. He can only blindly put his face in his hands and weep and weep until he feels light-headed and exhausted from it all. Sorcha's hand gently touches his arm, frail and ghostly, and he hears her voice soothing him, leading him out of his grief.
'I never thought it would be like this,' Padriac says shakily, when he has subsided. 'I always thought we would meet again, but not like this.'
'I know,' Sorcha says quietly. 'Oh, Padriac. I know.'
OOO
In the few days he stays at Sevenwaters, Padriac cannot wait to leave again. But he endures it, for his sister's sake. He talks to Liadan and Sean, Sorcha's children, and marvels at how they have grown since he last saw them. He talks to Red, talks to Conor and Liam. He examines Liadan's infant son, Johnny. Each evening he shares tales of his adventures at sea, telling of distant lands and strange peoples, treasure and pirates. He is glad to see that it cheers them all in the midst of their grief.
Samara does not speak at all during their stay. At first Padriac thinks she is just shy, but he soon finds that there is more to it. 'This is your family, Padriac,' she says gravely, 'and you are grieving. It is not right for me to intrude upon that. Besides, they will wonder at our relationship.'
Padriac has not introduced Samara as his wife; he feels that it would be not right to do that openly when the family is already grieving over Sorcha. He does, however, tell Sorcha privately.
'She is amazing,' Padriac tells her with a laugh. 'She is like my other half. She knows me, all of me. She is so brave, so stubborn, and so strong. She takes my breath away when I look at her. I don't know what I would do without her, truly.'
Sorcha smiles. 'I am so glad for you, Padriac.' She says no more, can say no more, but Padriac can feel her joy at his news, and his heart feels the lighter for it.
OOO
The next day, the family gathers around Sorcha's bed. Sorcha lies still, a ghostly figure, now barely breathing. Red stands at her side, his face tight with the strength of his grief. Padriac feels for him, feels for them all. Sorcha is the heart of Sevenwaters.
Sorcha turns to Red. 'Tell me a story,' she whispers.
It almost breaks Padriac to hear the finality in her voice, the knowledge that she will be gone before the day is done. He sees the pain that she fights to hide which plagues her with every breath she takes, and hears traces of fear in her thread of a voice. Padriac wants to weep, but doesn't let himself go. He has to remain strong, for Samara as well as himself. And he does not want Sorcha to see him weep. It would hurt her.
Red listens to her, and begins to speak. But he cannot finish. His voice breaking, he stops as he hears Sorcha sigh, and sees her eyes close. The rest of the family continue where he left off, each taking a turn at farewelling Sorcha in this special way. When it is Padriac's turn to speak, he makes it his tribute to Sorcha for all that she has done for Sevenwaters, himself and his brothers in all her years of life. Through his grief and tears that he can feel trickling down his cheeks, he tells his part of the story.
And then she is gone. The family files out of the room slowly, touching Sorcha's cheek and kissing her brow, leaving Red alone with his dead wife. Blinded by tears, Padriac feels Samara lead him from the room, and to their guest bedchamber. There, he finally weeps with abandon, and Samara cradles him as if he were a child. There are tears in her eyes, and Padriac thinks that he should be comforting her, but he cannot rein in his downpour of grief enough to do so.
'It is all right,' Samara says softly, gazing deeply into his eyes. 'It will be all right.'
Padriac hopes so.
OOO
After Sorcha's funeral, Padriac does not bother remaining at Sevenwaters any longer. There is nothing to keep him there now, and everything to send him far away. Sorcha is dead. His brothers don't need his company any longer; they have their own lives to lead, as does he. So hand in hand with his wife, Padriac leaves Sevenwaters behind forever, only stopping at Seamus Redbeard's holding for a time to pay his respects to the old chieftain.
And as he leaves Erin behind, Padriac feels freer than he has ever been in his life. Sorcha is dead, but he still has Samara. He smiles at the tall figure standing majestically at the prow of the ship, her dark hair whipped by the breeze. He will always have Samara. It swells his heart with hope and love.
OOO
Months later Samara comes to him and tells him that she is certain she is pregnant. Overwhelming joy fills Padriac at the news, as well as fear, for the sailor's life is dangerous, much too dangerous for a mere child.
'If it is a boy, I want to call him Iago, after my father,' Samara declares. Her eyes shine with excitement at the prospect of being a mother, and at seeing the joy the news has brought Padriac.
'And if it is a girl?' Padriac says lightly. 'What then?'
'Aisha,' Samara smiles so craftily that Padriac cannot help but laugh and embrace her tightly. 'Our babe will be the most loved babe in all of Galicia and Ireland,' he exclaims.
For the duration of Samara's pregnancy, Padriac leaves the ship in the charge of Tomas, his temporary first mate, and settles with his wife in Galicia. After nine months and a difficult labour, the babe is born, and it is a girl. They name her Aisha, meaning 'alive', as Samara predicted, for as Samara says, 'She came out kicking and fighting all the way!' Little Aisha is beloved of both her parents and Padriac cannot see how he could he could be so lucky. It seems that even after three cursed years as a swan his story is to have a happy ending after all.
He had told Samara his strange history long ago, of course. He had been afraid for a moment that she would pity him, but she only laughed and said, 'What a life you have led! It is like a fairy-tale!' He loved her all the more for that.
Later Padriac tells the story to little Aisha as she lies gurgling in her crib- of the evil stepmother who changed him and his brothers into wild beasts to ensure the inheritance of her own son by Lord Colum, and of the sister of his heart who risked her life to save them by sewing garments of starwort and whose silence, strength and devotion to them returned them to the human world. He leaves out the more disturbing aspects, such as Sorcha's rape, the poisoning of Eilis Redbeard and the deaths of his beloved animals, knowing Aisha to be too young by far to know about such atrocities. He turns it into a fairy-tale, making it seem romantic and giving it the happily-ever-after it never truly had. Samara laughs at that, but Padriac persists. In the years to come it becomes young Aisha's favourite tale, and she constantly begs Padriac for a retelling.
OOO
As soon as Aisha is a year old, Padriac returns to his ship and the sailing life. And, much to Samara's annoyance, he will not let Samara take her place again as his first mate. 'Someone needs to stay in Galicia and care for Aisha,' he points out in the face of Samara's fury. Samara sighs, and agrees, albeit reluctantly.
'Alright,' she says. 'This time. But I'll join you next time, be sure of it!'
Padriac simply laughs at her stubbornness and caresses her cheek in farewell.
Samara does not join him on his next sea journey, as she so desired. She is expecting again, a thought that thrills Padriac immensely. Because of this, he makes it a quick journey, only travelling to Erin briefly to trade there. He returns in time for the eagerly-awaited birth.
The labour is long, and difficult. Padriac holds Samara's hand during the whole bloody affair, and Samara screams and screams until Padriac's heart aches to hear her. After an entire day has passed, the babe is born dead. Strangled by the umbilical cord which was around its neck, the midwife reports, her eyes sympathetic. Samara weeps at the news, and Padriac, stunned, does not know how to comfort her.
They bury the babe's remains in the garden of their home in Galicia, and Samara's eyes gaze at it emptily, her cheeks sodden with tears. Padriac squeezes her hand and murmurs to her reassuringly, but she remains in a nearly catatonic state, neither talking nor laughing. It scares Padriac, seeing this from the woman he fell in love with, the woman with the wicked sense of humour and the bright laughter. He is most scared by the fact that he has no idea what to do about it.
After weeks of this, he approaches her.
'Talk to me,' he begs her, feeling the tears sting his eyes at the sight of her gaunt face. 'Tell me you are going to be alright.'
'I can't,' Samara says quietly. 'My heart is aching so badly, I miss her so much already, though she breathed her last in my womb.' Her eyes glitter with tears she fights to hide.
Padriac suddenly feels a wave of love for his wife, who was forced to endure this, as well as a shaking anger at the Bone Mother for taking their son away from them.
'It will be alright,' he says fiercely. 'We have each other, and Aisha. We will move on from this.' Samara weeps anew at that, and all Padriac can do is wrap his arms around her and rock her gently until she subsides.
'It will be alright,' he soothes her. 'You'll see.'
OOO
Samara never fully recovers from that terrible blow, and though she comes back to life there is a sad look about her that haunts Padriac. He finally agrees to let her aboard his ship again as his first mate, hoping that it will bring more happiness to her life. Samara is ecstatic, but there is a dark shadow to her joy that Padriac suspects will always be there now.
They leave four year old Aisha in the care of a paid nursemaid in Galicia, and resume their old adventures together. It is the best of times. Together as a team, they brave fierce storms and discover new countries like they used to. Samara is a capable first mate even in her sorrow and Padriac is glad to see her come to life once more as she barks orders to the crewmen on the deck.
Every once in a while they return to Galicia to visit Aisha, but otherwise they are at sea for months at a time. It gives Padriac joy to feel the swaying of the deck beneath his feet once more, and the smell of saltwater in his nostrils, knowing that adventure awaits beyond the next wave. He has no clue as to what Samara thinks, but he can see a lightening of her mood when she is at sea.
Just when Padriac believes that he cannot be any happier, tragedy strikes again, sharp and searing. There is a storm, a massive storm that floods the ship and tilts it to and fro. Strong winds whip at the crew as they hurry to prevent the ship from sinking beneath the waves, and threaten to sweep them into the waves that tower as tall as the ship's mast. The crew work all night to survive the storm, and by dawn the gale-force winds and floods ebb away.
Then comes the terrible realisation of loss. Samara is gone, as well as half the crew, swept into the ocean during the storm, never to be seen again. Padriac can feel a well of anguish flood his heart, but he reigns it in until they reach dry land in Galicia. Then it explodes from him, and he weeps and weeps with abandon, beating his fists bloody on the floor of their house.
OOO
Padriac does not want to think of remarrying, but he knows he must, for Aisha's sake. His daughter must have a mother to balance her and give her guidance as she grows into a young woman. The irony does not escape him that that same thinking was what influenced his own father to marry the Sorceress Oonagh, who changed the course of their lives forever. Thankfully, the woman Padriac meets and decides to marry is harmless, a kind soul who has long wanted a husband and children but has not received any suitors until now. Maria is small and dark with long ebony hair and a sweet smile. She hates sailing and prefers to stay in Galicia. The exact opposite of Samara. Padriac tries not to let that bother him.
They marry, Maria bright with joy and Padriac still unsure about his decision. Is he right to do this thing, or is he betraying Samara's memory? Will his daughter hate him for seemingly remarrying without care? These questions plague him well into his wedding night, and he tosses and turns repeatedly.
The morning after the wedding, Aisha approaches him. 'Father, I—I am happy for you,' she says in a subdued voice, not meeting his eyes. 'I hope you will both be happy.'
Padriac's voice clenches in his throat. 'Aisha…' he begins, wanting to tell her that he has done all this for her, so that she can have a mother to look up to. But Aisha swiftly turns and walks away, and Padriac has not the heart to follow her.
OOO
As the months and years go by, Padriac settles into a steady rhythm. For most of the summer months, he sails with his crew wherever they will, whether it be to Erin or Norway, where they trade with other communities, bringing a range of goods back to Galicia by autumn. In this way, Padriac makes his name as a sailor and trader, and becomes respected by the people of the city. In the winter, when it is unsafe to travel, Padriac remains on land with his wife and daughter. It is a tense time. Maria tries to mother Aisha, but Aisha refuses to be mothered. Padriac can see that she resents that Maria, a woman who is not her mother, is trying to bring her up properly. She effectively ignores Maria as much as she can, and when she cannot, she is frosty and resentful towards her. This hurts Maria, but still she persists.
Padriac tries to reason with Aisha, out of respect for Maria.
'She is not my mother,' Aisha flares. 'She has no right to do this!'
'She wishes to ensure that you have a proper upbringing and grow up well. She's never had any children before, and hopes to make up for lost time,' Padriac points out. 'Please, just try to get along with her. She's not as bad as you want to think.'
'You think!' Aisha laughs mirthlessly. 'You're not here half the time. You're always at sea. You don't have to listen to her complain about your long absences, worry about whether you'll be drowned at sea like my mother. 'Aisha, Aisha!'' she mimicks Maria's voice. ''I do not know what I would do if your father was drowned... I do love him so... What would we do without him?'' Aisha snorts. 'It's sickening,' she hisses. 'My mother would never have acted that way.'
Padriac struggles to control a wave of fury. 'Maria is not your mother, Aisha,' he snaps, 'but she is my wife and I demand that you respect and obey her. She has been kind and courteous towards you from the beginning, and you have thrown it back in her face! Apologize to her now.'
Aisha glowers, but obeys him. Maria accepts her apology with grace, but Padriac is not foolish enough to believe that Aisha will submit to Maria's mothering so easily. There is bound to be more problems.
Two months later, Maria tells Padriac that she is with child. Padriac almost whoops for joy, and hugs her tightly, pushing aside the memories of Samara that surface automatically. Maria glows with pleasure; finally she is to become a mother, after years of longing. Padriac celebrates with her, but realises secretly that he wishes he is celebrating with Samara.
When Aisha hears of the news, she snorts derisively. 'A happy family,' she mutters sullenly. It pains Padriac to hear the hurt and loneliness in her voice, but she will not be pitied by anyone, let alone her father. Maria tries to speak to Aisha, but the girl only turns away, shaking her head.
The babe is born, and is called Fernando. After the birth, Maria gives the squalling infant to Aisha to hold, and Padriac is delighted to see her face soften for the first time in months. 'It's so tiny!' she exclaims in wonder.
'He is your brother,' Padriac says, unable to keep the pride from his voice.
Aisha looks up at him and smiles. 'Yes, he is,' she says, her eyes sparkling just like Samara's used to.
OOO
Aisha, Padriac and Maria dote on the infant Fernando. He is a charming babe, to be sure, with large hazelnut brown eyes, soft olive skin and a tuft of dark hair on his scalp. His cheeks are rosy and dimple when he smiles, which is often. Though he takes after Maria in looks, Padriac is pleased to see young Fernando be as cheeky and outgoing as Aisha was as a child. As he grows Padriac teaches him to sail, as he taught Aisha, and fosters in him a love of building things. Aisha and Fernando get along well, despite her old resentment of Maria, and the girl submits to Maria's mothering with grace. Whenever Padriac is home from the sea-journeys, he can see a glimmer of respect in Aisha's eyes when she speaks to and of Maria, which pleases him greatly. It seems as if the birth of Fernando has truly made them into a family.
Two years after the birth of Fernando, Maria is with child again. Both Padriac and Maria are hesitantly pleased, as Maria is close to the age at which childbirth is dangerous for both babe and mother. However, all seems to be well, until Maria's fifth month of pregnancy. Illness sweeps through Galicia, a fatal epidemic which costs the lives of two thirds of the people in their community. Maria, out of a sense of duty, insists on tending to the sick, and overrides Padriac's protests against it. It infuriates him and fills him with a terrible fear. He has already lost one woman he loves, and he has come to love Maria in his own way. He does not want to lose her.
'I have to do this, Padriac,' Maria says calmly, when he argues with her. 'It is not right for us to do nothing when people are dying.' She will not be moved, and Padriac has to give in, filled with a sense of hopelessness.
'Just be careful,' he tells her.
'I will,' she promises, and kisses his cheek. 'I will, always.' Pity and understanding shines in her eyes as her dark eyes meet his gravely. 'You will have no cause to regret this.'
'I know,' Padriac agrees, embracing her tightly, wishing he never has to let her go.
He wants to believe Maria, tries to believe her. But doubts linger in his mind and only fester as he watches Maria tend to the sick, and sees her belly swell with life. He prays, to the Bone Mother, to Manannan Mac Lir, to whatever gods can hear him to keep Maria safe, and their babe as well. I have lost Samara, the love of my life, and Sorcha, my sister. Do not let me lose Maria too. He throws his whole will into that prayer, but he cannot tell if the gods hear him or not.
And then Maria sickens. One day she returns from her rounds with her eyes bright with fever, and sweat beading on her forehead, and from the moment Padriac sees her he knows she will not live. This illness is ruthless, sucking the life out of the most vulnerable of their community: the elderly, the infants, and those expecting. He knows with despair that Maria does not have a chance of combating this illness. But still he sits at her bedside, tends to her, holds her hand as she weeps and rants at fever-induced illusions and whispers that it will be all right. Everything will be all right. Lost in her fever, Maria does not give any sign of hearing him. Aisha helps as best as she can, replacing bed sheets and damp bandages with new ones.
Close to the end, the fever breaks, and Padriac's heart lifts until he hears the too-faint pulse of her heart. As Maria's eyes open, Padriac calls for Aisha, who comes hand in hand with Fernando. Maria seems to glow at the sight of their son, and a smile stretches across her gaunt face.
Her glazed eyes focus directly on Padriac. 'Padriac,' she whispers in a painfully dry, cracking voice. 'Promise me you will not grieve overmuch for me. You still have your life to live; you will meet another young woman eventually who will give you some joy. Look after our son; make sure he has a good education and wants for nothing.'
'He is our son,' Padriac responds, trying to keep the anger out of his voice. How can Maria think that he would abandon his own child? 'I would never abandon him. You know that.'
'I know,' Maria says softly. 'But I had to be sure...'
She then turns to Aisha. 'You have been a good step-daughter to me, despite it all. I wish you happiness and a good life.'
Aisha nods and bows her head, her eyes bright with tears.
'Fernando,' Maria says. Aisha lifts the two-year-old so that Maria's arms can weakly encircle the infant. A smile lights up her face as she looks down at him, briefly eradicating the fatigue from her features. 'My son. I give you my blessing, in everything, and wish I could be there to see you grow into manhood. Just know that I will always be watching over you, when you are hurt or angry or afraid or joyful, every moment of your life. I will always love you.' Maria gently kisses Fernando's forehead, and sinks back onto the mattress of her bed, her eyes fluttering closed. Aisha silently takes the babe from her arms, and slips from the chamber, leaving Padriac alone with his dying wife.
OOO
They bury Maria in the garden, beside the grave of Padriac and Samara's stillborn child. Padriac, Aisha and Fernando stand together on the unkempt grass as the local priest conducts the funerary rites, heedless of the rain battering onto the earth like hail and the gale-force winds whipping at their faces and hair. It is all Padriac can do to stand there and watch and pray, with a maelstrom of emotions brewing inside of him.
Later that evening, Padriac returns to the grave, needing to be alone, truly alone, to be able to grieve. He kneels, bows his head, thinking of what Maria had meant to him, and prays that she will find peace in death, that the Bone Mother will carry her soul to the Spirit World.
He is concentrating so hard that he does not hear Aisha's approach until she is standing right behind him. She laughs as he starts in surprise and scrambles up from his kneeling position, feeling his face flush at being caught at an awkward moment.
'I am sorry to bother you, Father,' she says. 'I wanted go to the grave to be alone, but I could-'
Padriac almost laughs. So they both had the same idea. 'No, stay,' he urges, as his daughter begins to edge away. 'We can be alone together.'
Aisha half-smiles at that. 'Alright.' Father and daughter kneel together on the grass, facing the grave, heads bowed.
'I never thought I would truly like her,' Aisha confesses, after a long silence. 'But I did. She was kind to me, to all of us, even though I was spiteful to her at the start. And I do love Fernando, though I once resented him as well. Maria did not ruin us, as I thought she would. Maria brought us together and made us into a real family again.'
That is one of the gifts that Maria brought them, Padriac thinks, agreeing silently. She made us whole again.
He senses that Aisha is waiting for a response. 'Well, at least she was no Lady Oonagh,' he tries to joke, feeling his eyes sting.
Aisha smiles weakly at the name of the evil villain of her favourite childhood story. 'No. And you really did love Maria, didn't you? I never truly knew, because you were away so much, I thought you still missed my mother. You went to the sea to be closer to her.'
Padriac blinks in surprise. Aisha is more perceptive than he first thought. 'Yes,' he responds. 'I did love Maria. In a way, she helped me. She brought me out of my grief for your mother, and taught me that I could find love again. I did love your mother most of all, but I learned to love Maria as well.' Padriac does not think he will love any woman more than he loved Samara. 'And now she too is gone.' Padriac feels a wave of grief swamp him which echoes in his voice.
'You will find someone else, Father,' Aisha says, her voice wobbling. 'I know you will. Like in your tale, and the old tales of Erin. You will meet someone else, I know it, and she will be a mother to us and you will love her. And this time I will not spite her but love her and be respectful towards her, like I should have been towards Maria. We will be a family again.'
Padriac cannot help but laugh bitterly at that. So many years ago, and it still had to come back to haunt him. What had he done to deserve this? It seems as if the curse has continued beyond its breaking, preventing him and his family from finally having a 'happy ending', preventing him from having a loving relationship with the woman he loved. 'Tales are nothing like reality, Aisha.'
'I know that, but they give us hope and teach us things. You yourself told me that.' And Aisha frowns at him, her glare showing that she does not approve of him wallowing in self-pity like that. 'Like the girl in your tale. The one about the swans. She saved them from the curse, by staying silent and weaving those shirts for all those years. And she marries the King and they all live happily ever after.'
But it wasn't like that, Padriac thinks, brushing his hands across his face in agitation. Despite the curse being broken, nothing had been magically fixed, as usually happened in tales. Nothing could erase the years of terror and wildness from their lives. Nothing could bring back their old lives. Their father had been like a child, in the end, until Finbar had healed him. Finbar had come back with a swan's wing in place of one arm and was a changed man. So much had been lost, and nothing had been fixed.
'Father?' Aisha says, her eyes anxious.
'It was not like that, Aisha,' he tells her. 'Not truly. I only turned it into a tale to spare you from the brutal truth of it. You were too young to understand what happened.' He examines her briefly. Aisha is now thirteen, almost a woman. It is the same age Sorcha was when Oonagh entered their lives, and Sorcha began weaving the six shirts. Surely she is old enough now to know the full story. 'But now you are almost a grown woman. Do you wish to know the full, unabridged story?'
Aisha nods, her eyes bright with curiosity.
He tells her. He tells her of their lives before Oonagh's arrival, of their mother's death in childbirth and how he and his brothers raised Sorcha together while their father, Lord Colum, was busy fighting a feud with the Britons over the sacred Islands. He speaks of how close they were to each other, how they were each one piece of the whole, and of his beloved animals that he cared for in a barn and healed. He tells of the Lady Oonagh, of her arrival and her bewitching of Lord Colum, forcing him to wed her, and of the pain she caused. She killed his animals, poisoned Eilis Redbeard and drove her away from Liam, and destroyed Sorcha's garden and the tools of her trade. He describes the ritual that he and his siblings attempted to call the Lady of the Forest to their aid, which Oonagh interrupted. He describes the awful mist paralyzing them, Oonagh's triumphant smile, and the first terrible moments of the changing. His voice trembles, for a moment. The changing is stuck in his mind, he cannot forget it, nor can he forget how Sorcha saved them all.
Padriac tells Aisha of the three years as a creature of the wild, of Sorcha's task of weaving shirts of starwort to save them. He tells her of the guilt they all felt, seeing Sorcha injure herself for their sakes, seeing her ruined hands. He tells her of the pain and guilt they all felt after Sorcha's rape, and her choice to continue with her task despite the danger. He describes Sorcha's journey to Harrowfield and her stay there and her falling in love with Red, a Briton. He finally describes, with a shaking voice, the breaking of the curse. Sorcha's near-burning at the stake, Red's mad leap to rescue her from the flames. And then the final sensation of changing from beast to man, and the sight of the flames bursting in different colours of the rainbow.
He talks until his voice is hoarse, not stopping until he has told all. At the end, he breathes a sigh of relief, feeling the lighter for having told it. Aisha does not say a word, just stares at him, wide-eyed.
'I know it must be a lot to hear...' Padriac begins, but Aisha interrupts him.
'I always thought it was just a tale you invented, a parable. I never thought...' She shakes her head in amazement. 'You were really a swan?'
'Yes,' Padriac says, trying not to smile at her obvious disbelief and astonishment. 'We were. But,' and as he speaks he realises the truth of what he is saying, 'we survived, all seven of us. Despite everything that Oonagh tried to do to us, we survived. That is what matters.' It is what Sorcha had told him years ago, but he had not believed it until now. 'We must never forget it.'
Aisha nods solemnly, but Padriac sees that her eyes are sparkling. 'I know, Father.'
Padriac's heart swells enormously, then. How like Samara she is, how beautiful and brave! He is certainly lucky to have a daughter such as Aisha, and a son like Fernando.
Padriac leans forward and presses a kiss to Aisha's forehead, as he used to do when she was just a babe in arms. 'Goddess bless you, daughter!' he exclaims, and is pleased to hear Aisha laugh in delight and exuberance.
OOO
To Padriac's surprise, Aisha is right about him finding love again. After a year of mourning for Maria, Padriac meets Mercedes, a woman half his age, and instantly falls for her, for her quick-wit and her sweet nature. Within months of meeting they agree to marry, the ceremony taking place in a small chapel in the city. Aisha serves as Mercedes' maid of honor, and Fernando is the ring-bearer. Three of Padriac's shipmates stand in as witnesses.
Mercedes proves to be a good mother and wife, and Padriac does grow to love her dearly. She is kind towards Aisha and Fernando, but does not seek to be a replacement for their dead mothers. Aisha and Fernando both come to think of Mercedes as a second mother, however, and are respectful and solicitous towards her. Padriac is glad of that.
Over the next years, Mercedes bears four children, who are a welcome addition to the Galician branch of the Sevenwaters family. Juan is born a year after Padriac and Mercedes' marriage, and seems to have inherited Padriac's liking for creating new inventions and fiddling with ideas, as well as his looks. Carmen is next, fifteen months after Juan, and is the perfect picture of her mother. She does, however, take after Padriac in her love for adventure and gets into all sorts of scrapes which has Mercedes constantly worried. A year and a half after Carmen, Dolores is born. She, like Carmen, looks exactly like her mother, except for her eyes, which are a startling green. As she grows older she grows fond of sewing and embroidery, but also likes scampering around the city with her siblings and friends. Luis, the youngest, is born a year after Dolores and is completely like Padriac, from his short height, dark hair and eyes to his eagerness for adventure and love of animals. Padriac loves every one of them from the moment they are born and does not know what he would do without them.
Padriac is proud of all his children, and each time he sees Aisha, Fernando, Juan, Carmen, Dolores and Luis laughing and playing together he thinks of himself and his siblings, and the life they could have had if the lady Oonagh had not cursed them and changed the course of their lives forever. And he vows that his own children will not have to deal with the heartbreak that he had to endure. His children will be children for as long as they want to, and will grow into young men and women with a bright future ahead of them. Padriac prays that it is so. He couldn't bear it if his own children were to feel loss and suffer as he and his siblings had suffered once.
One day, years after his marriage to Mercedes, Aisha approaches him amid the chaos of their entire family breaking their fast together in the house. She asks for his blessing, and tells him that she intends to journey to Erin to meet the Sevenwaters branch of their family. 'It's time I met them, since I've heard so much about them,' Aisha laughs. 'It will be quite the adventure!' Her eyes gleam with excitement at the prospect.
Padriac agrees readily. He is not worried about his daughter- she is twenty-five years old and has already accompanied Padriac a few times on his sea voyages. Aisha is a competent sailor, and he has no fears of her safety.
'Will you come as well, Father?' Aisha asks, looking as if she already knows the answer.
Padriac smiles. 'No,' he tells her cheerfully. 'I'm too old now to travel so far, and I'm content to stay where I am anyway. I would like to hear all about your adventures when you return, daughter.'
'Of course!' she smiles.
And as Aisha sets sail, and he enthusiastically farewells her from the docks in Galicia, he cannot help but think that this daring visit to Sevenwaters will change everything for her. He doesn't know how, he just suspects. He waves to Aisha as she stands on the prow of the ship which grows smaller and smaller in the horizon, and she waves back and smiles joyfully. And as she turns away and starts purposefully captaining her ship, it seems to Padriac that she is marching out to meet her destiny.