This is just a fun little project I'm working on for the last two weeks of school. You know those memes on Deviantart where you label characters one through ten and you're given random situations? Well, I'm doing oneshots of those.

Here's my list of characters:

1. Loki (Avengers/Thor)

2. Arya Stark (A Song of Ice and Fire)

3. Kvothe (Kingkiller Chronicles)

4. Signy Mallory (Downbelow Station)

5. Kaylee (Firefly)

6. Virginia Dare (Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel)

7. Draco Malfoy (A Very Potter Musical/Sequel/Senior Year)

8. Moist von Lipwig (Discworld)

9. Vimes (Discworld)

10. Twoflower (Discworld)

I'll do my best to avoid OOCness, but I haven't written any of these characters before, so I will probably make a few mistakes. Hopefully nothing too drastic. I felt like Moist was a little OOC in this one...

Here's the first senario, from elvendork's meme:

7 and 8 are in a life-threatening situation. How do they react?

"I-I'm bleeding…" said Draco Malfoy hopefully as he hung from the underside of the bench.

It had been three days since the idiotic blond had taken up a position at the Ankh-Morpork Post Office, and Moist had about had enough. Mr. Malfoy was supposed to be helping with the stamps, but had decided that Stanley was a "nerd" as he put it, and so had transferred—without anyone else's consent—to the Blind Letter Office. This had resulted in many problems. Firstly, Draco Malfoy could very well have been brought up in a totally different city, as a) he was originally under the impression that Ankh-Morpork was, as he put it, a "muggle-run faux monarchy with a council", and b) a spoon could have navigated its way around better than he did. Secondly, he had trouble reading. And thirdly, he spent a quarter of an hour every time he went to the bathroom.

Moist was sick of him, and all but ready to kick the insolent boy out.

The Postmaster General sighed as Draco Malfoy looked around to see if anyone had taken notice of him and was prepared to express pity. No one had. In fact, most were pointedly ignoring the boy.

Another woomph from the Magical Sparkles Generator and Moist was back under his desk, cursing the day he had ever taken on Draco Malfoy.

"Gladys!" he shouted, clutching the leg of the table, "Stop the damn thing already!"

"I Would, Mr. Lipwig," rumbled the golem, "But I Am Unable To At The Moment Due To My Being Transformed Into A Golem Raccoon."

Moist swore viciously. That was another thing about Draco Malfoy- he carried a stick around everywhere, and when he was in a tight situation, such as in the bathroom, he would wave it around and spout gibberish. Moist was pretty sure that its effects were not what Malfoy intended. No one could have intended the Magical Sparkles Generator.

"Malfoy!" Moist shouted over the loud sound of sudden sparkles, "You're fired unless you fix this!"

"And what am I supposed to do?!" yelled back Malfoy.

"I don't know! Wave your stick!"

"Woah, chill. I may be hot," Malfoy said arrogantly, "But I'm not sure my charm would work on a machine."

Moist looked puzzled for a moment, then affronted.

"I meant your magic wand that brought the sparkle generator into existence, and you know it!"

Malfoy smirked. "You might want to say that again, slightly differently."

Moist von Lipwig sat under his desk, scowling. Charisma didn't work on Draco Malfoy. Nothing worked on Draco Malfoy.