Thanks for my one reviewer, TheRedGhillie, you're so sweet! Once again, sorry I haven't been working on my other fics, I'll get to it, I promise!
"Hey shitstain, need something?"
"What the fuck did you just say?" I growled as I hovered over the small boy with the stormy grey eyes. I could normally intimidate people by getting into their space and threatening them, but the boy barely seemed moved. He casually examined the nails on his right hand, seeming completely disinterested in me.
"Well?" I demanded when he continued to ignore me.
He looked up at me and dropped his hand with an annoyed sigh. We locked eyes as we stared each other down. The tall boy with the dirty blonde hair glanced at us wearily. He attempted to grab his friend's arm, but the boy shook him off. Tiny creases pulled between the boy's eyebrows as he glared at me. A cocky grin spread across his lips, as if he were silently mocking me. I felt like knocking the little bastard's head right off his shoulders. His thin lips parted, flashing bright white teeth at me before he spoke again.
"You deaf or something fucktruck? I asked if you needed something. You were staring at me like you were constipated, or you wanted to have my children. I'm flattered really, but we're not batting for the same team here brat. So I suggest you go on ahead and march your happy ass back to daddy instead of starting shit you can't finish," the boy said with a dismissive wave of his hand.
I felt my face flare at the boy's blunt implication, "Look asshole, you started this when you knocked Armin down today at school. You know, small, short blonde boy? You bumped passed him and knocked him down without even stopping to apologize. You are a rude little bastard who needs to learn some manners, and I'm here to teach them to you." I growled.
"Hmm, constipated it is then," the boy deadpanned.
I felt my nostrils flare when the boy continued to act with disinterest, "Look you little midget, why don't you just own up to what you did and apologize or I will knock that smirk off your face."
The boy let out a dry laugh and rolled up the sleeves of his white button down. He was about to raise his fist when his friend with the dirty blonde hair jumped between us and spread his arms out, protecting the smaller boy behind him. He looked up at me with nervous eyes and a sheepish smile. From behind him, the smaller boy grunted angrily and crossed his arms. His raven locks fell over his eyes, shielding the irritation that flashed in his grey eyes.
"He's sorry man," he said sending a nervous glance behind him, "I'm sure Levi didn't mean to knock down your friend Ermin—"
"Armin," I growled.
"Right, right Armin. Anyways, Levi is really sorry; he's just not good with his words. We don't want any trouble. I'm sure you don't want any either so why don't we just let bygones be bygones and forget about this eh?" he said sticking his hand out towards me, "I'm Farlan Church by the way."
As I watched Farlan protect the smaller guy, Levi, I got a strong sense of loyalty between the two that reminded me of my own friendship with Armin. Farlan had went out of his way to protect the small jackass, just as I would for Armin. I reluctantly let my anger subside and I shook Farlan's hand with an angry huff. I'd taken enough anger management classes to learn to quit while I was a head. I also wasn't too eager to start a fight on the first day of group therapy. Farlan smiled at me and excitedly pumped my hand. His hazel eyes softened as I gave in to his polite request, and I faintly wondered why such a nice guy would hang out with such a jackass. When we ended the handshake he nervously scratched the back of his head.
"I'm Eren, Eren Jaeger."
"Nice to meet you Eren," Farlan said with a smile, "so are we good now?"
I glanced behind Farlan at Levi, who hadn't said a word before Farlan intervened. He was back to looking at his nails with a bored look. I shrugged my shoulders, "I guess so."
"Great! We'll it was nice to meet you Eren," Farlan said, "thank you for being so understanding."
"Ahuh," I answered nonchalantly.
He waved at me as I turned to walk away. I gave a small wave back, and took one more lingering look at Levi, who glared at me as I walked away. I could still feel his eyes on my back as I walked back to my father. I didn't know much about Farlan and Levi, but I was eager to observe them. My father beamed at me when I reached him. He reached out and pulled me into a warm embrace, and playfully ruffled my hair. Although I hated when my father coddled me, I always accepted his hugs because I knew all too well how short life could be. I leaned against his shoulder and squeezed him tightly.
He smoothed out my collar and smiled again before speaking, "I saw what happened, and I'm really proud of you son. You're really working hard to control your anger, and you agreed to group therapy despite your initial refusal. I think you deserve something for all your hard efforts. Why don't you think about it and tell me what you want when you decide okay? A new video game, a puppy, whatever you want son. You deserve it."
"Thanks dad," I murmured into his shoulder.
"You're welcome Eren," my father said as he pulled away. He glanced down at his watch and frowned a bit, "Well I gotta go now kiddo, they need me back at the hospital in an hour. Call your mother when class is over and she'll come and pick you up. Bye son, I love you."
"I love you too Dad, bye."
After my father, I awkwardly wandered around the room and took a seat next to Annie in the circle as the class began. Her ice blue eyes watched me, and we nodded at each other in acknowledgment. Annie and I had a silent agreement, we would keep each other company in these kinds of situations, but we weren't obligated to talk to each other. We just sat in silence, and endured the bullshit life dealt us. Jean took a seat on the opposite side of the circle, far away from me. I found my eyes instinctively searching for Levi, and I watched as he quietly chatted with his Farlan, who sat on his right, across from me in the circle. Just as he was about to look up, I dropped my gaze, and focused on my hands, which where folded across my lap.
Our group therapist, Dr. Pixis, had taken his seat on the stool in the middle of the circle, and I was surprised to see the dinosaur hadn't busted his hip climbing up on that thing. The man looked like a hairless Santa Clause for fuck's sake. What if he had a heart attack in the middle of the seminar? Although I liked Dr. Pixis, due to him being one of my childhood therapists, I was not looking forward to the group therapy. I couldn't give less of a shit about these people's issues, and I knew they didn't give a damn about mine. If anything, this session would only be a large waste of my time, and my father's money. I slumped into my chair and crossed my arms across my chest. This next hour and a half was gonna suck.
When everyone was seated and settled in, Pixis gave us all a warm smile, "Welcome everybody! My name is Dr. Pixis, but you all may just call me Pixis. I know that most of you are reluctant at best about today, being our first session and all, but I would like you all to go ahead and take a few deep breaths and relax. There's no pressure here. We are all here for different reasons and we will support each other. Participation is required, so don't think I will allow you to sit around like a bump on a log," Pixis said as he eyes passed over me, "Since today is our first session it's only natural that we should start off with introductions. I want you all to say your name and a little something about yourselves. Tell us your age, your favorite color, your hobbies or anything you like."
"I'll start off. My name is Pixis and I'm probably old enough to be most of your grandfathers!" he chuckled, "I enjoy reading and playing chess, and when I was younger I liked to box. Nowadays the misses has helped me take up crocheting. Now why don't we start with…you there?" Pixis said pointing to Annie.
Annie's expressionless face didn't change as she stood up and gave her introduction, "My name is Annie Leonhart. I live with my father and I play soccer at Titan High."
"Very good Annie! It's nice to meet you," Pixis praised, "Next?"
Pixis pointed at me and I sighed deeply. I never wanted to take this damn class and I didn't want to participate. I sought to make my answer as quick and simple as possible, "My name is Eren Jaeger," I said quickly and sat down.
"Eren, why don't you stand back up and tell us a little about yourself?" Pixis prodded, despite my stubborn nature.
I reluctantly stood up and frowned, "I'm 15," I added and sat down once more. Pixis gave me a lingering stare, but decided not to press me any further. He motioned for the next person to continue, who was seated two seats down from me.
"Hello everybody, my name is Erwin Smith. I'm a junior at Titan High School. I am captain of the debate team, quarter back of the football team, and captain of the wrestling team. I enjoy making new friends and meeting new people," he said with a warm smile. From my previous observations, I could tell the boy was a blonde haired, blued eyed, Jesus. He excelled at everything he did and came from a well-respected family. He was quite popular at school and always had a flock of girls chasing after him. His kindness seemed genuine enough, but the guy was a perfectionist. Last semester he had to leave school for a few weeks due to a nervous breakdown.
On his right sat his best friend Mike Zacharias, a junior and also a football player and wrestler. He was quiet and reserved, while Erwin was warm and chatty. The only quirk he possessed was his tendency to smell people, which was quiet disturbing. "My name is Mike, and I'm 17. I play football and I like to wrestle," he said simply.
Up next was Auruo Bossard, an angry sophomore who bragged about his girlfriend Petra, and bit his tongue at the end of his introduction. Thomas Wagner, a nervous blonde followed, then that horse faced bastard Jean, a flirtatious girl named Hitch, and an awkward boy named Moblit. Last in the group were Farlan and Levi. I shifted in my chair with anticipation as I waited for their introductions.
"Uh, hi everyone. My name is Farlan Church, I'm not actually in this class, I'm just here for Levi," Farlan said.
Farlan nudged Levi with his elbow when he was done speaking, but Levi did not stand. He gave a bored yawn and tapped his foot with an annoyed expression, "I'm Levi," he said simply.
Pixis scratched his head, with a curious look on his face, "Do you have anything else to add?"
"No," Levi replied flatly.
"Very well then…now class, we are all here to learn about how to deal with our problems. All problems are different, and will require specific methods of coping. I am here to aid you, and your peers are here for you as well. You may confide in them or me, but I would advise that we keep what's said in the group, within the group. You may speak to me with assured patience confidentiality, but the same might not be said with your peers. I would ask that you all keep an open mind and a soft heart, because I will not tolerate any bullying or harassment between group members. Understood?" Pixis asked.
The group grumbled a simple 'yes' and Pixis launched into his lesson. He constructed an elaborate metaphor, likening our troubles to giants. These giants were huge, and cruel, and ate away at us. They seemed invincible and would take a certain way of war to defeat them. If we wanted to succeed in life we needed to slay the giants in order for us to regain our humanity. We were like an army, with our family and friends, and even Pixis standing by our side to help slay these horrid giants, but it would be up to us to vanquish them once for and for all. We would lose many along the way, breaking off unhealthy relationships in favor of more symbiotic ones. I found myself visualizing Pixis's words, and enjoying the lesson for the most part.
In all fairness, the lesson wasn't that bad, but I found my mind wondering off as Pixis lectured. What was my father really trying to accomplish by sending me to group therapy? Did he really think my problems could be solved by listening to the preaching of a bald headed old man? I suppose he could argue the sessions with my stress coach had prevented me from blacking out and having another episode, but how long would it last? My attacks were inevitable and I had learned to accept my faults, rather than ignore them. It was a part of who I am, and there was nothing I could possibly do to change it. The thought was rather depressing at times, but my mother always told me that if I could learn to accept things for what they are, I could understand them.
My thoughts continued to run rampant until Pixis clapped his hands together loudly and announced the end of class. As I stood up to leave, I noticed a few people had fallen asleep during the session, and were wiping fresh drool from their mouths. I couldn't help but chuckle at the sight. Annie and I quietly left the session room and signed out at the front desk. She said nothing, and made no attempt to say goodbye expect nodding her head at me, to which I nodded back. I walked outside the building and sat under a tree in the front lawn. I slipped my cracked IPhone out of my pocket and dialed my mother's number.
"Hello?" came my mother's cheerful voice.
"Hey Mom, it's me."
"Hi honey, how was your lesson?"
"Good Mom, Dad told me to call you when it was over so you could pick me up."
"Alright baby, I'll be right there, sit tight okay?"
"Are you hungry, should I bring you a snack?"
"No Mom, I'm alright."
"Don't talk to strangers Eren."
"Mom," I groaned, "Alright already! I'll see you in a few minutes."
"Okay baby, I love you."
"I love you too Mom."
Click. I hit the end call button and slipped my phone back into the pocket of my jeans, and groaned out loud. Why the hell did my parents have to baby me all the time? They practically gave Mikasa free reign while they kept me on a tight leash. I pulled my knees into my chest and buried my head between my legs again and groaned again. I was so distracted by my moping I didn't realize someone had walked up behind me.
"Still constipated fuckface? You should do something about that. Take some medicine, hell eat some Activia or something, you look pathetic," came a sarcastic voice from behind me.
I whipped my head around to find Levi standing behind me, sporting an amused grin on his face. His stormy grey eyes flickered dangerously as he watched me. He had one had cocked on slim hips while the other dangled by his side limply. The first few buttons of his shirt were undone, revealing ivory white skin. His raven locks fell over his forehead as he cocked his head to the side, scrutinizing me.
I opened and closed my mouth several times, unable to find a witty response to his crude words.
"Seriously? I've always made girls' jaws drop, but I guess now I can add awkward teenage gay boys to the list too. What? Am I that hot or are you that heartbroken over what mommy said to you over the phone?" he asked in a condescending tone.
"What's your problem jackass? I thought your buddy said we were all cool?" I asked as I rose to my feet and dusted myself off. What the hell was his deal? I could feel my anger rising, threatening to overtake me as I watched the angry boy in front of me.
"My problem? No, I'm fine brat. You're the one with the problem. You came about to me all high and mighty and now you have nothing to say? Just because Farlan said you and him were cool didn't mean that it applied to me. So you gonna finish what you started or not?"
"Sure why not? Just remember your friend isn't here to help you when I make you swallow your tongue," I threatened, rolling up the sleeves of my plaid shirt. I could feel my face flush red with anger and I curled my hands into fists, and took my normal fighting stance. I should have felt it coming along, but I bit the feeling back. My mind was focused on knocking the little bastard off his high horse.
Levi rolled his sleeves and chuckled darkly, "I hope your mommy brought tissues brat."
I gritted my teeth and lunged at Levi, blinding throwing a jab to his ribs. He responded quickly and blocked my fist with his forearm, before moving his arm back to block his face. I grunted angrily as I saw his smirk from behind his fist. I could feel myself slipping away from consciousness, as my anger rose and I screamed inwardly. 'Not now, not now!' I begged 'Please don't let me have an episode right now!' My vision began to blur as I felt my episode clawing away at me. Levi took advantage of my weakness and quickly lifted right leg and kicked me in the gut before I could fight it. 'Damn! The little shit is fast!' I yelled internally as I let out a sharp intake of air. 'I can't possibly win if I have an attack right now!'
"Had enough yet princess?" Levi mocked.
"Fuck you," I breathed surprising him with a blind jab to his shoulder.
As my fist made contact with his skin, I could feel the rippling muscles hidden under Levi's white button up. I need to hurry! I need to end this before I black out! I screamed as he delivered swift punch to my cheek. The force of his punch alone knocked me back on my ass and further disoriented me. It would doubted leave a nasty bruise on my cheek tomorrow. I tried to scramble to my feet but Levi climbed on top of me, nearly straddling me as he landed a few hammer punches to my side. I curled my arms around my face and tried to steady my erratic breathing as the familiar pain clawed at my chest. I needed to fight it! I tried to focus on my breathing, and began counting down from 10 in my head, in an attempt to fight off my attack.
I shot my hands forward and reached for the little bastard's neck. Levi was heavy for someone so small, and he slapped my hand away as I struggled to latch my hands around his throat. I managed to scratch his cheek, and I drew a single drop of blood from the small scratch. His small hand reached forward and slapped my bruised cheek. A car honked at us as it rolled passed us, and Levi turned around for a moment.
I used his distraction as my advantage. Luckily, I was tall and lankly, and my angry hands managed to slam into his chest and knock him off of me. He landed backwards on his ass, making a soft thud against the grass as his body made contact with the ground. He grunted angrily and cursed at me, and a small smirk of my own left my lips.
He kicked me and I tried to back away, and tears blurred my eyes as my vision began to fade. I forced my eyes open and blinked the tears away just in time to see Levi jump to his feet and kick my side.
I quickly rolled out of the way, smacking the tree I was peacefully sitting under before Levi approached me. I reached out to the tree and used it to steady myself as I stood. My breaths were no longer as spastic and frantic. I took a deep breath and looked up to see Levi walking menacingly towards me, his stormy grey eyes darkened with malice. He reached out and roughly grasped my chin, forcing me to stare at him. We were on eye level now that I was doubled over, and I could see my bruise form reflected in Levi's pupils. He clicked his tongue in annoyance as a soft ding broke our heated silence.
He jabbed me in the gut and leaned into me as I groaned. My head hit the tree as he pressed against me. He punched me several more times before dropping his face to mine. I gasped as I felt the heat radiating off the smaller boy's body. He leaned into my ear and his hot breath tickled my ear as he spoke. His lips brushed against my ear, coating it with a thin layer of saliva. I fought back a shudder as I heard Levi's sarcastic baritone tickle my ear.
"Another time princess, I gotta go. Farlan just texted me," he whispered as he delivered one final punch to my side. His heat burned against my body, making my adrenaline rush. The heat was warm, and comforting, much like the hugs I received from my parents. I squeezed my eyes shut as my vision began to blur again.
"F-fuck you," I stammered, still struggling to fight back my impending attack.
He chuckled lightly, tickling my ear once more, "Only in your wildest dreams," he whispered, pressing a kiss to the shell of my ear.
My cheeks flared and I bit my lip, and my mind was racing, trying to fight back Levi's blunt implication. He released me and the heat was gone. I groaned softly at the loss of the warmth and walked as Levi turned to walk away. He gave me a patronizing wave, shooting me one last glimpse of his triumphant smirk before I watched his form grow smaller, before climbing into a black car and disappearing completely.
The world was spinning, and blackening, leaving me in its dizzy wake. I felt the sudden urge to lean forward and retch, but my body refused to cooperate.
I would fight him again, and I would make the bastard pay. I was weakened due to my attack, but I would get him for sure next time.
I would find him, and knock the bright white teeth out of his mouth.
Levi would pay.
The world collapsed beneath me and I slumped to my knees, finally succumbing to my attack and blacking out completely. I slipped into a deep slumber, as I lost myself. The last thing I remembered was my mother's frantic voice calling out to me, before enveloping in warmth once again.