5Okay so this is one of those really angst-y type of fics that I'm trying to wing at. This is a reconstructed monologue from one of my original stories that I was still yet to finish. This was from a separate document, and found that I wouldn't include this in that story anymore since—well—I just thought not to.
Okay for you emos out there. TADA!
All standard disclaimers apply!
Title: How to Kill Without Murder
Characters: Jackson Overland (human), Elsa
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort(?)
World: AU (In which Jack is some sort of Mercenary from a faction called Guardians and Elsa is nursing a comatose Anna)
Jack-centric
…. … …
In those very moments… she didn't know what to decide about…
She was at that very hour… confused… heartbroken… destroyed. She didn't know how she'd ever bear the consequence of choosing one over the other… because in that certain minute, she was confined to weighing two grave decisions… and it cost my love her life…
Because she was torn between two lovers… that of the Light… the other of the Dark.
She was her light. I was her darkness.
It was the night that the captivating symphony of the Swan's fall, that I spoke to her for the very last time. She was a pearl shining under the moonlight, and as always… I was awestruck by the obscure beauty resonating from her…
I never fathomed night's such as these… because for all I knew those looking for the Guardians would be there… watching… waiting… wanting to devour me, like the soul-eating demons they are.
But Elsa… she would never desert me… not for anything… not for anyone…
Not even for her sister Anna.
"Jack…"she trilled. I shuddered. Every move she made, from the way she nodded and shook her head, from the way her voice rang like the tinker of yuletide bells, from the way the wind hazily brushed her silvery blonde locks from her pearly shoulders... would always take me away… "I need to talk to you…"
"I'm listening…" I replied calmly. But my heart hammered secretly.
"I…"she hesitated. "I came to tell you… that I…"
She broke off, covering her thin lips with her palm... breaking to tears. Why? Why was my angel crying? I wanted to come near and hold her tight… steal her kiss, the way I had planned it ever since the day I realized I loved her… the kiss that never came to be…
I couldn't do it. Though my face was hard and cold as glacier ice… I feared my fears were eminent…
Judging the way she looked at me with her glass eyes, my fears had been confirmed. Paranoia swept over me like a flood… blood curdled at my throat… my eyes were bloodshot, panic and wrath evident as I saw through her fragile surface.
"You're leaving me…" I said. It sounded more like a mocking question an insane man would ask of. "Aren't you?"
She shook her head. But she was crying.
"No… I… yes… I… I'm sorry… I just… just can't be with you…"
She buried her angel face in her hands. Weeping. Regretting the decision made. I already knew why. It was Anna. That precious thing of Elsa's I could never get my hands on.
"… but I wasn't holding you back from your time with her… was I?" I asked, sounding more like a mad man as I spoke every word. "Was it me?... Elsa…?"
"I love you Jack!" she wept. "But… I don't… I can't… I don't know anymore!"
She wept even more. Sympathy no longer had a place in my heart. I've waited for her enough. I shared her time with a sister that I could never compete with, kept my heart sealed secret from my best friends, killed and would let myself be killed, if it was to protect the one I held dearest to my heart… her…
But that Light was going to take my love away.
"Why?…Don't you love me anymore?" I asked her again… this time calm… but an obvious danger behind them. " If you cared so much about me… why are you leaving then?"
"But I told you… I do… it's just…" she trailed off, having nothing valid to say… she could not explain further… I knew her too well.
Because I could easily make her stay. I could win back her love in an instant. That was how much she had loved me…
But she wasn't going to let me win this time. She wants me to let go of her… because she can't do the same for me.
Or so I thought…
"It's just…" she choked further. "I don't love the same way I loved you before…"
Lies. "What do you mean?" I cried harshly, eyes wide in an uncontrollable desire to destroy. Lies.
She backed off… scared… afraid of my anger against the world… against both the demon and the divine…
I forced myself to calm down… I wouldn't let myself scare my love away…
I drew near and hugged her close… the way I usually did. Nuzzled my head against the fragrance of her sweet chamomile hair. This was it. The one thing that I might do to save her from leaving me…
She wept, burying her head in my chest. Never wanting to leave the confines of my arms… but in that instant…
She pushed me away.
Pain sketched across my face. Why don't you love me anymore?!
"Please!" she wailed. "Go away! I'm so sorry!" I had not thought the words of a madman anymore. I was beginning to scream them out loud.
"Why are you leaving me?!"
I tried to hold her close again… but she would no longer let me. I tried to steal the kiss I had dreamt for so long… she evaded in clear regret. I harshly squeezed her wrists with my capable hands… she cried aloud in pain, halfheartedly trying to pull away.
"Why?"
And to my dismay, I was weeping. The way she wept for me. Both of us had been defeated… by the merciless consequence of love.
"Forgive me… please… I'm sorry…" she whispered. It was like she was lulling me into an eternal sleep. "Everything's over… we're over… I don't feel for you in a way a lover does anymore…just leave me alone!"
And with that one moment she was gone… and I was… I was…
It was like she had killed me right then.