18SUMMARY:
Human AU: After a stupid accident, Roderich finds himself at Ludwig's house under his care. Of course things get very tense between him and a certain Gilbert Beilschmidt, with whom he shares a confusing, misleading past. Jealous!Gilbert. Sexy!Oblivious!Roderich
Pairings: Gilbert/Roderich, past-Antonio/Roderich. Side pairings: Ludwig/Feliciano, Antonio/Lovino.
Warnings: BoyXBoy love.
Caution: Mature themes.
Disclaimer: The 'Axis Powers: HETALIA' manga and anime series is owned by Hidekaz Himaruya and the awesome publishers and producers who made the series possible.
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It hadn't been Roderich's fault, of course not. He was an immaculate driver who followed every rule in the book and even stopped to let pedestrians pass before his car at every single zebra-crossing.
No, the fault had belonged to a drunk German who had seen a set of lights coming towards him from the opposite direction and completely freaked out. What annoyed Roderich further was that drunk – now sober- man had escaped the whole ordeal completely unscathed.
Roderich however, was a little worse for the wear to say the least.
...Well, at least he was alive.
Roderich had been on his way back from Lili's birthday party at Vash's new house in Zurich. He'd decided to take a detour through Germany just for a change of scenery.
How he regretted that decision now...
The accident took place near the city of Kempten in Germany, and Vash who had been busy far away had panicked the moment he heard what had happened.
"Vash, please stop shouting into my ear."
"I am not shouti-" There was a pause on the other end of the line and the steadily rising volume of the voice dropped several octaves. "How badly are you hurt?"
"A few stratches. Several bruises." Roderich lied. It was not like Vash was going to believe him anyway. His arm was currently enclosed in very thick plaster cast, and his foot was badly sprained. There was also a very angry looking bruise throbbing on his left cheekbone, and the rest of his body felt like a truck had run it over... Oh wait, he had been run over! "The doctor says I will make a full recovery. There is nothing to worry about. I will just have to rest at home for a while."
"Yeah. Nice try." Vash scoffed on the other end. "Look, I know that you're used to being in crutches and splints since childhood, but you really are stupid if you think I'm letting you stay at your place unsupervised. I've already called Ludwig and he's coming over to bring you over to his place in Munich."
"But that's completely unnecesary!" Roderich argued immediately. "I am more than capable enough of taking care of myself."
"I'll be the judge of that." Vash growled. "Lili's worried sick about you. She's grown really fond of you, you know?"
"I should hope so." Roderich said with a smile, glad to be moving on to lighter topics.
After Vash hung up, Roderich's thoughts went back to that small blonde boy he had seen only a few times over the past years.
In truth, Roderich was better acquainted with Feliciano, who was currently living with Ludwig. After the Italian boy's parents had died, his grandfather had dropped him and his twin brother Lovino off at Vash's other manor in Geneva. Roderich had been staying there with Antonio and Elizabeta at that time when all three of them had been attending the University of Geneva. He had found himself becoming a sort of brotherly figure to both Feliciano and Lovino.
In the end however, Lovino had steadily grown more attached to Antonio, (a fact the moody Italian boy still denied vehemently) and finally left with Antonio and to study at an university in Spain. Feliciano had stayed longer, with Elizabeta mostly taking care of him since Roderich was always busy.
Then when Elizabeta had been called over to take care of Ludwig since Gilbert was off working in France, the Italian boy had left with her.
Liz had kept good contact between them at all times, and had usually returned to visit Roderich once a year with both Feliciano and a then very shy Ludwig. That's how Roderich had met Gilbert's younger brother.
Now, of course, Ludwig was all grown up. He had somehow transformed from a small thin child, into an impossibly tall and muscular German who had eyes as blue as an angel's. Roderich could actually see him now, all mucles and brawn, so very different from his brother's figure. The Austrian actually momentarily thought that his mind had creating a rather vivid hallucination, until the image of Ludwig standing in front of him finally spoke.
"It's been a while, Mr. Edelstein." Ludwig said quietly with a smile.
It appeared that Ludwig was still the polite boy Roderich had known.
He looked so very different from his brother... In fact, if they stood side by side, Roderich was sure that people would rarely guess that Gilbert and Ludwig were siblings.
Roderich broke himself out of his thoughts to give him a warm smile. "I have told you a million times, Ludwig, its Roderich."
From behind Ludwig, Feliciano's concerned face peered out at Roderich. The moment the chocolate eyes located him, they seemed to tear up.
"Oh, Roderich!" Feliciano cried, and rushed out from behind Ludwig, approaching Roderich with trembling lips. His soft hands took Roderich's uninjured one between them and Feliciano sniffled. "You'll be fine Roderich! You'll be all okay soon, ve~!"
"Thank you for your concern, Feli. I promise that I shall." Roderich assured, letting Feliciano pamper all over him, speaking a mile a minute as he did so.
"First we're going to get you some pasta, which is the best medicine- no, maybe first we go home, and then get the pasta- or... Ludwig, do we have enough pasta at home for four? I think we should-" As Feliciano rambled, Roderich's eyes fluttered back to Ludwig who stood watching them with a look of utmost adoration on his face.
Correction. He stood watching only Feliciano with that look on his face.
Ah... So the inevitable had happened after all.
Roderich supposed that he felt glad for them. Young love was always so sweet to watch. A shame that all his own experiences had all ended... dreadfully.
"How is Eliza?" Roderich asked Ludwig, who managed to tear his eyes away from Feliciano with some difficulty.
"She is well." Ludwig said, giving Roderich that calm, soothing smile again. "She isn't around very often these days. Mostly away on trips with her Meimei and Kiku. They're very nice people."
"Kiku is wonderful." Feliciano piped up, nodding in agreement.
"That he is, but we'll have to catch up later I'm afraid. We'll have to head out soon if we want to avoid the highway at night." Ludwig said, checking his watch. Then he shot a playful grin at Roderich. "We can't possibly afford another clumsy accident on the road now, can we?"
.
.
Much to Roderich's utter embarrassment, when they arrived at Ludwig's house, the blond carefully helped Roderich out of the car and then picked him up in his arms bridal style. Roderich yelped in his arms while Feliciano went ahead to ring the doorbell, barely suppressing his smile.
Roderich spluttered in indignation and slight fear, clawing to hold onto Ludwig's arms in order to stay upright.
There was an almost teasing tilt to those pale, blond eyebrows when Roderich demanded to know what what Ludwig was doing.
"The wheelchair will be here tomorrow. But for today, I'll have to carry you to your room. It's the fastest way. Unless of course, you would prefer to crawl on your injured hands?" He asked, walking up to where Feliciano was now giggling and repeatedly ringing the doorbell.
"Is there someone else here-" Roderich's curiosity was answered however when a muffled shout rang out from inside the house.
"...I heard you the first damn time already!" The eerily familiar voice said, and Roderich heard footsteps stomping up to the door as it swung open. "What in the name of-"
Gilbert paused abruptly, like someone had pressed the mute button on him. His chiseled jaw fell open in shock. His eyes were as crimson as Roderich remembered, but he hadn't expected to see them here. Gilbert looked like he had just woken up, even though it was nearly five in the afternoon. He was in boxers and his brilliant white hair was a spiky mess. Roderich wondered if his own face displayed the surprise he was feeling at the moment or not.
After all, this man was Roderich's first lo-
"Little Master? Who banged you up like this, I'm gonna send them a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates."
Roderich automantically obliterated what his brain had just been thinking. "What are you doing here?" He asked in a hauty voice, despite knowing what a pathetic sight he probably made. Weak and childlike in Ludwig's arms. "I thought you were living in France. Did they kick you out of your job already?"
"No!" Gilbert retorted immediately, fire in his eyes. "As a matter of fact, I quit myself!"
"Of course you did." Roderich snorted.
"What a lovely reunion." Ludwig breathed and Roderich nearly fell from his hands, almost having forgotten that there were other people present. His uninjured arm wound itself around Ludwig's neck and he glared at Gilbert for making him lose composure so easily.
Roderich didn't really want to admit it, but just seeing that face again-
It was like the mere sight of him had cracked open a floodgate in Roderich's heart. Old memories were rushing out now, revisited after a long time... Roderich internally cursed. That the crack was sure to continually let throught the troublesome feelings he had buried deep all those years ago.
Ludwig however, just rolled his eyes at them both and pushed his older brother back from the doorway, leading Roderich into the house.
"Roderich are you hungry?" Feliciano asked, throwing off his jacket and scarf onto a nearby stand before making for the kitchen.
"I am!" Gilbert piped up and Roderich glowered at him.
"No, please don't bother to..." A soft rumble sounded from his stomach, making Gilbert and Ludwig freeze. Roderich stifled his groan of embarassment.
Feliciano simply laughed. "I'll make you some soup, ve~? And then pasta?" He suggested, pushing up his sleeves as he peereed out of the kitchen.
Roderich, very pink in the face, tried to avoid Gilbert's eyes and looked up at Ludwig instead.
"What?" He shot at the blond.
"Nothing." Ludwig said, biting his lip in an obvious attempt to hide his mirth. "I'll- ah, just take you to the living room now, shall I?"
Ludwig placed him down gently onto the canape in their living room and took a seat beside him. Gilbert, still in his boxers and a thin T-shirt on, followed them in and sat down on the loveseat, rubbing his eyes.
"You haven't changed a bit." Roderich heard himself say.
Gilbert looked up with a frown. "Neither have you, priss. Still the spoilt prince- oh sorry, spoilt-princess behavior going on I see."
"How dare you-"
"Brüder, stop annoying him." Ludwig snapped, and Gilbert scowled, turning away. "Sorry, Gilbert is very easily angered these days."
Roderich was curious as to why that was, but he wasn't about to show it. "Its a sign of old age. Don't worry yourself, Ludwig. This was a symptom long overdue."
Ludwig chuckled and ducked his head, patting Roderich's bandaged arm.
"Ha. Ha. You two are absolutely hilarious." Gilbert narrowed his eyes, not looking the slightest bit amused. "Oh, don't stop! Go on laughing at my expense!"
"If it pleases you." Roderich replied, smirking slightly.
"Soup is ready!" Feliciano announced, bringing a tray of four steaming bowls.
The Italian took his seat on Roderich's other side and grabbed a bowl. Spooning some soup, he thrust it into Roderich's mouth and waited, wide-eyed.
Roderich managed to dissipate the shock of the action and gulped. The soup was warm, just perfect for drinking... and it tasted wonderful.
"This is perfect, thank you Feliciano." He told the boy courteously, and smiled when the boy beamed in reply.
Gilbert simply scoffed on his loveseat.
.
…
Flashback
…
Roderich had always been a troubled child. Troubled in the sense that when he got into a fight, (an occurrence which took place fairly often for some reason), he always got beaten up bad... Usually waiting for Vash to come over and pick him up and carry him home. Vash said it happened because of the way he talked.
As a result, Roderich didn't have many friends as a child...
So when his babysitter had introduced him to a pale, strange-looking boy and a wild-looking, brown-haired boy at the age of ten, Roderich had been pleasantly surprised. The pale boy looked at him with a bored expression. The brunette however, had wide eyes and pink cheeks as he stared.
"Roderich dear boy, this is Gilbert and Elizabeta." His caretaker said to him. Roderich was sure that the woman really wanted to say: Try being kind to them Roderich, then perhaps you'll have some playmates.
He was sure she was worried about how Roderich didn't actually have any acquaintances to speak of. It wasn't his fault. He just didn't do friends! But now she was staring at him earnestly...
Just perfect...
She left them alone in the room after that and Roderich felt the sudden urge to just sink down the floor and disappear. Wit, was something that came to him naturally... but being amicable, was a hard task. Before he began to worry too much however, the brown-haired boy approached him. "Hello, can I be your friend?" Roderich quickly had his hand covered by the boy's and felt his cheeks heating up. "You're just... so pretty!"
"Thank you." He replied politely, as he had been taught to do. "You're, Elizabeta right? Is that- I've never heard that name being used for a boy before."
Elizabeta's cheekbones reddened, and he stuttered ever so slightly. "What? Of course its a boy's name! Haha! But- what I was saying before- you're seriously cute. I mean look at your eyes! What is that color? Gilbert come look!"
Elizabeta wrenched the other boy's arm to make him stand in front of Roderich. Roderich found him intriguing immediately. This boy was pale, just as pale as he himself was, and he had snowy hair and eyes as red as strawberries. Roderich thought that he should probably be scared, but he couldn't help but find the strange boy beautiful... Especially the way his eyes were shining like rubies.
"They're violet." Gilbert suddenly said, making Roderich jump. "Very light violet."
"That's what I thought!" The other boy ecxclaimed, placing his hand on his vividly red cheeks. Elizabeta tried to pull Roderich back to himself but Roderich found his face being grabbed by the paler boy, who was very close to him all of a sudden.
"What is that?" The pale boy asked, his finger flicking across Roderich's cheek. "Its not food."
Roderich gasped. His mole had always been very sensitive, and he jerked away from the pale boy's grasp, smacking his hand away. The boy stared with his red eyes very wide.
"Its a beauty spot, you idiot!" Elizabeta said, positively looking like he was about to swoon any moment.
But Roderich had his eyes fixed on the other boy, who suddenly seemed to break away from his bored demeanor and had a rather devilish look in his mischievous eyes. "Nevermind that Liz, I think I've just found my new plaything."
Seriously, why did Roderich even bother hoping of finding a playmate?
…
End Flashback
...
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Roderich typed single-handedly. It was a very slow and greuling process. He was a writer, and a part-time music composer, but this story needed him more than his notes did right now. If Roderich didn't have something he could use in less than a week for the fifth chapter of his novel, then he was certain he was going lose the whole thread of the story.
"Surely he can't be that unreasonable." Complained a voice and Roderich looked up to see Ludwig standing at the entrance to the living room with a bowl of breakfast in his hand.
Roderich simply gave him a confused look.
"Your editor." Ludwig said walking over and gesturing at the text he was constructing at a snail's pace. "I'm sure if you explained your accident, he'd give you some time off."
"Oh, Arthur's very understanding." Roderich said. "This is just something I need to do. I have... nothing better to do anyway."
"Actually, you do." Ludwig said, raising the bowl of what Roderich realized was cornflakes. "Right now, I insist that you have a bite of breakfast."
Roderich sighed and pushed away his laptop with smile. Roderich knew that Ludwig was very partial to a German breakfast, full with sausages, toast, eggs and ham. Ever since he's been a child. Bringing Roderich milk and cornflakes must have been a painful task for him.
"Where's Feliciano?" Roderich asked, patting Ludwig on the head as he he was suddenly engulfed with a twinge of nostalgia.
Feliciano usually fed Roderich since his hands had not healed properly yet.
"He received a call from his brother." Ludwig shrugged, looking up at the ceiling, to their room where Feliciano presumably was. "Its a passtime which usually lasts a few hours."
Roderich let his hand drop to Ludwig's shoulder, and was surprised to feel hard deltoids there. Really, his young ward had grown up into an insanely attractive man. Roderich felt proud. Suddenly, something in Ludwig's expression reminded him of Gilbert.
The old Gilbert... the Gilbert who used to be playful and smirked at him instead of just growling, glowering and walking away the way he did these days.
Ludwig, unaware of Roderich's inner turmoil, began feeding him his breakfast.
"Can you move around by yourself now?" Ludwig asked, spooning cornflakes into Roderich's mouth.
"Yes." Roderich replied, stretching out his leg which was in a splint and twisting his stiff back. "The wheelchair you got me is very modern so that is not a problem. Anyway my hand is healing very quickly."
Roderich raised his hand, which no longer looked like a thick mummified appendage since the doctors had removed the plaster. It now sported a smaller looking wrist splint, which was supposed to be coming off in a few more weeks- if he was very careful.
"And then you'll be rid of me..." Roderich said almost unconsciently. Maybe going back to Austria would do him some good. Here, his heart pounded with happiness and hurt simultaneously everytime he came face to face with Gilbert, with whom he'd barely spoken two words since his arrival here a week ago.
"I don't know." Ludwig said. "Isn't your novel set in Germany? You could stay here and... I don't know, get inspired this magnificent country."
Roderich smiled softly, Ludwig and Gilbert were rather patriotic. Well, so was he- for Austria. "Yes, you'd say that wouldn't you... As a matter of fact that what my editor suggested as well."
"Then why not? Feliciano likes having you around here. He said like it feels like having a family. You could stay." Ludwig persisted before lowering his voice considerably. "And your stay here might do brüder some good."
"I can hardly see how my presence here affects Gilb-"
"Roderich." Ludwig's eyes were sad. "He needs you here."
Roderich didn't know if it was because of the obviously heartfelt words or because of the earnest expression on that face, but Roderich spasmed and jerked head back from the spoon spilling droplets of milk over himself and the canape.
Ludwig's hand instinctively rose to wipe the liquid from Roderich's chin.
Roderich stared at Ludwig, barely biting back a gasp... Could he- did he possibly know about himself and Gilb-
Ludwig too stilled when he noticed Roderich's stiff shoulders and an embarassed expresson took over his features. "I... sorry. I just thought... you were friends before-"
"No, it is... all right." Roderich head himself say, fighting to keep his voice steady. "It was not you. I think I am full now, Ludwig. Thank you."
Ludwig lowered the bowl and leaned away from Roderich, glancing up with a hesitant look on his face.
"I..." Roderich said, thinking that he should obviously explain his exaggerated reaction. "I do not know why that happened. I mean, I just get really... jumpy these days."
Ludwig gave him a calculating look for a moment longer before smiling tentatively. "It happens, after something traumatic like a car crash I guess."
"Yes, perhaps." Roderich said, as an awkward silence descended upon them. He patted Ludwig shoulder again in an effort to calm his own feelings.
Roderich couldn't very well explain to Ludwig that he indeed had a very complicated relationship with his brother- before the whole thing crumbled to dust, leaving behind only the most bitter memories they'd shared. The Austrian turned away and bit his lip.
No matter what Ludwig said, the way Ludwig had voiced those words a while ago made Roderich wonder once again if he knew way more than he was letting on.
No... What could he possibly know? He had only been a toddler when it all had happened.
Roderich tried to find a subject, anything just to will away the strange quietness surrounding them uncomfortably when he heard a slight cough at the entrance to the living room.
The two of them looked up to see Gilbert standing at the mouth of the entrance, watching the pair with suspicious eyes.
"Brüder?" Ludwig said, seemingly surprised as he glaced at the towering grandfather clock in front of them. "You're up earlier than usual. Its only ten in the morning."
"Where's Feli?" Gilbert asked, his eyes focused on something behind Ludwig's neck. Roderich followed his gaze only to realize in shock that his arm was still around Ludwig shoulder where he had left it. He unwound the arm and pulled it to his chest defensively, which was obviously the wrong thing to do since it made Gilbert's eyes narrow further.
"He's chatting with Lovino, do you want to talk to Antonio perhaps?"
"No... Especially not now." Came the immediate reply, and Roderich was surpised to see Gilbert frowning. He had thought that the Antonio and Gilbert had become fast friends in France, if social networking sites were to be trusted at all. The albino must have seen the curious expression on his face because he amended his words. "I need some food in my system before I can process anything."
"Sit here then." Ludwig said, getting up with Roderich's bowl in one hand. "I'll get you... do you want waffles or cereal?"
"Waffles." Gilbert muttered as Ludwig went past him and out of sight. Then his eyes moved back to Roderich who froze where he sat, even though he didn't quite know why.
The albino trudged his way into the room and plopped down on the place Ludwig had recently vacated. "When did you wake up priss? The early hours of morning?" Gilbert asked, raking a hand through his hair and further disheveling it.
"I like to stick to my habits." Roderich answered.
"Oh, I know." Gilbert said quietly. "Does that still include messing people up?"
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me!" Gilbert turned suddenly, his eyes furious. "What did you do that for? He's my brother damn it!"
"Do what?" Roderich felt very nearly out of his depth here. What was Gilbert going on about? "I really have no idea what you are saying."
"Really." Came the sarcastic voice which accompanied Gilbert's unamused face.
"Yes, really!"
Gilbert scowled before moving forward slightly. A pale finger reached out to touch the edge of Roderich ear, which had been scratched by the accident. "Huh. Then maybe I was wrong. It could be just him. You do that to a lot of people without even knowing."
Roderich didn't compute half of what Gilbert was saying. His mind was solely focused on that part of his body which was minutely touching Gilbert's. "Was?" He asked inarticulately in German.
But at that moment, Ludwig returned with a plate full of waffles for Gilbert and the albino backed away from Roderich immediately, taking away his hand with him.
"Yay... waffles!"
.
…
Flashback
...
"Roddy?" Whispered a voice in his ear. Roderich jolted awake his eyes automatically found the clock on his wall, it was past midnight! "Wake up!"
"What are you doing here?" Roderich asked the 13-year-old boy looming over him in the dark. Roderich shoved him away and sat up, turning on the bedside light. "Gilbert? You moron, it is two in the morning. What do you want?"
"I discovered something." Roderich was about to snap at the boy again but something in Gilbert's expression and excited voice which made Roderich stop mid-way into beginning a rant. "You know how Liz is always saying that he really likes you?"
"Yes?"
"Well, I was talking with him a while ago, and he said that he really wanted to... k-kiss you." Gilbert's tone faltered at his last two words.
Roderich had no idea where this conversation was going, but he did his best not to roll his eyes and let Gilbert carry on. "So?"
"So, I told him that it was wrong for two boys to kiss!" Gilbert said in a voice which made Roderich slap a hand over his friend's mouth.
"Quiet!" He hissed, hoping that no one heard them. His caretaker would murder him if she found out he was awake now.
"Ja, whatever." Gilbert mumbled impatiently, pushing the hand away. "So then he said that it was okay and that he'd seen you kissing other boys and-"
"What?" When did she see that? Roderich felt a heated blush beginning to rush to his face.
"-it doesn't matter anymore because Liz is a girl and so you can kiss him and everything will change after that!"
Roderich suddenly froze, and felt an amused grin spread over his lips."Wait... you finally realized that Elizabeta is a girl?"
Gilbert's mouth formed an 'o' of surprise. "You knew?" He asked in outrage, settling on the edge of Roderich's bed.
"Of course I did!" Roderich said, rolling his eyes. "How did you find out about it, oh genius?"
Roderich was surprised to see a bright rosy hue take over Gilbert's pale cheekbones. "I- just now we were wrestling... and his- her clothes got torn and I saw her... chest!" He said in a terribly mortified voice which Roderich couldn't help but find adorable.
"And she said that she wanted to kiss me?" Roderich already knew that too. Elizabeta had liked him that way from the moment they had seen each other three years ago. Roderich thought that she was a beautiful girl, but he only saw her as a friend. Roderich didn't think that he liked anyone like that really.
He had kissed Vash once, but that had only been as a gesture of thank you for the number of times the blond had saved him from bullies. Momentarily, he wondered once again how on earth Elizabeta had spotted that...
"Ja! But if you kiss her everything will become messed up!" Gilbert argued fiercely. "Right now you belong to us both. I annoy you when I want, he-she, protects you, you complain- everyone's happy! But if you choose her, then it won't be like that anymore, I just know it!"
Roderich sighed at the childish idea and rubbed a hand tiredly over his forehead. "So what do you want me to do? Kiss you too so that you both remain at an equal position over me?"
Gilbert opened his mouth and gaped for a moment, his jaw slack, before he closed it shut again and shook his head vigorously.
"That's wrong... Icky."
Roderich felt a brow twitch in anger. "Then why are you sitting here with me?" He asked defensively. "You know that I have kissed a boy, so shouldn't you find me disgusting too?"
"You really kissed a..." Gilbert looked lost for a moment, as if he'd just been told that everything he had known in his life was a lie. Roderich felt sorry for him then. "I thought she was joking... Who was it?"
"Vash." Roderich replied, and watched Gilbert's face turn red.
"That uber-violent Swiss kid?" He asked, sounding shocked and slightly angry for some reason.
"Yes! That uber-violent Swiss is my friend too! My first friend!" Roderich found himself speaking on Vash's defense. "He was there before you two came along so don't insult him."
Gilbert was silent again, refusing to meet Roderich eyes for a long while, until he finally spoke again.
"Well... what did it feel like?" He asked, nearly stuttering. As he did so, Roderich finally heaved a sigh and rolled his eyes. He grabbed Gilbert's wrist but the pale boy wrenched out of his grasp immediately. "Wha-what're you doing?"
"Do you hate me, Gilbert?"
"Huh? O-Of course I hate you, you're priss the princess!"
"Then this will hardly change anything."
"What will hardly ch-change-" Gilbert froze when he noticed the gentle palm at his cheek, the other on his shoulder. "Hey, little master... this isn't funny-"
"Calm down Gilbert." Roderich whispered softly, his hand clenching onto Gilbert's shirt as the boy leaned away. "Do you want to close your eyes?"
Gilbert's orbs opened even wider at the question, and Roderich bit down on his lip to halt the urge to chuckle. Then he moistened his lips with his tongue to soften them.
Gilbert looked petrified, and it was such a far cry from the boisterous, annoying, pushy, rude person he was by day that Roderich was actually a bit startled himself.
"Roddy?" By then, Roderich was just a couple millimeters away from Gilbert's face. He heard the albino's breath hitch the moment his own exhalation fell on quivering lips. His turned his hand around so that his knuckled carressed Gilbert's cheekbone. Seriously, the boy was getting far too scared about a tiny thing like this!
Gilbert's mouth was slightly open, so Roderich parted his own plump ones and pushed them between Gilbert's, latching onto his lower lip.
Heat suddenly ran through Roderich like nothing else before. He nearly faltered when he felt its intensity of the sensation... What was this? Kissing Vash had felt like kissing his mother, a soft quick peck- so what exactly was this? He suddenly wanted... more. Roderich saw Gilbert's crimsons staring at him crosseyed and closed his own eyes, his lashes fluttering shut, and suckled on Gilbert's lower lip for a while before nipping it softly.
It was all instinct, what he was doing. Gilbert's mouth was hot against his, his cheeks unbearably warm and his shoulder stiff... but to Roderich, everything felt very- good. Too good. He opened his eyes and let Gilbert's lips slide out from between his with a pop and flicked his tongue out, licking off the bit of saliva which was glistening on Gilbert's lips.
But before Roderich could give into his urge and kiss the boy again, Gilbert leaned backwards, far too quickly and fell off the bed with a loud thump.
"Gilbert!" Roderich called worriedly. "Are you alright?"
Gilbert got to his feet, rubbing the back of his head, his face looking feverish.
Roderich raised a hand and touched the back of Gilbert's neck comfortingly, but it seemed to have an adverse effect as Gilbert flinched away from the touch, his eyes incredibly vulnerable and accusing as they stared at Roderich.
"Gilbert?"
But before Roderich could ask another question, Gilbert ran out of the room... leaving Roderich feeling very confused as to why his heart was pounding so loudly and so quickly inside his chest.
…
End Flashback
...
.
"Then, fratello said 'You potato bastard! I'll send you to your stupid German heaven if you hurt a hair on Feli's head!" Feliciano's laugh was so carefree and calm.
Roderich envied it greatly.
Or maybe he envied the way Gilbert was stroking the auburn head on his lap, grinning at Feliciano with apparent adoration. Roderich didn't notice himself gripping his wheelchair with white knuckles until he found Ludwig's face hovering in front of his, waving a hand to jolt him out of his thoughts.
"I am sorry." Roderich said, unclenching his hand and pressing them together on his lap. "What did you say Ludwig?"
"I was asking if you wanted me to give you a tour of the garden?" The blond asked, looking at Roderich worriedly.
They were having a picnic out in the garden behind the house. It was large, and since the weather had grown warmer, the flower buds were beginning to bloom and the butterflies were back. The garden looked magical and Roderich agreed to the offer.
It was better than just sitting at one spot watching the person he loved smile so openly at someone else, even if that other person was technically Gilbert's brother-in-law. Like every other time his eyes spotted Gilbert enjoying himself with someone else, Roderich once again felt his heart shattering.
It was all so stupid...
Ludwig slowly turned him around and began pushing him around the large green area on his wheelchair.
"These are lavender. Francis brought the seeds over from the south of France." Ludwig said, pointing at the batch of flowers which were in full bloom even the chill. "And those are marigolds, Gilbert's Indian friend gave them to us as a gift."
"They're beautiful." Roderich said truthfully, grateful for Ludwig for bringing him this away.
It was at times like this which made Roderich wonder if Ludwig did in fact know about what had happened with Gilbert- or worse... If he was ware of Roderich's current feelings for Gilbert.
"Here." Ludwig bent down and picked up a few flowers, purple and orange, and threw them onto Roderich lap.
Roderich smiled and smelled each one, and Ludwig kept picking more as they went along the garden. They walked around the fairly large garden for who knows how long. Ludwig pointed out a Roman fountain and garden statues shaped like Greek and Roman gods and Roderich nodded and gazed at each flowerbed.
"Soon I'll have a bouquet if you keep going that." Roderich said at once point when his lap was so full of fragrance that he could no longer identify any individual one. "Who takes care of these flowers?"
"Feliciano." Ludwig replied and Roderich heard the smile in his voice.
"He's very good at gardening." Roderich commented lightly.
"He is." Ludwig answered, idolation his is eyes and love in his voice. "I think its because he treats everything with love. He's always so full of care. I doubt that you can find a single person in this world who can truly hate Feliciano."
"Don't you get jealous?"
"Jealous? Sometimes, I suppose." Ludwig said thoughtfully. "But I know him. He's not someone who would give in to another person's charms on a whim. He'd never hurt me. I trust him completely."
"That is... very sweet, Ludwig"
"Thank you. I also- Roderich?" Ludwig stopped the wheelchair and pushed down the brakes, rushing around forward to kneel in front of Roderich. His hands rose to cradle both of the Austrian's cheeks and he used his thumbs to wipe away the tears there. "What's the matter?"
"I... I don't know." Roderich said, strying to control his harsh breathing and sniffles. "I just... need a moment."
"Oh, you idiot." Ludwig said suddenly, shaking his head and chuckling quietly. "You two are idiots after all... Well, come here."
Roderich didn't even find it in himself to berate the boy for calling him an idiot. He just leaned into Ludwig's shoulder and continued crying. Ludwig patted him gently on the back.
It was pathetic really.
Just because of his selfish desires... It was stupid. Ludwig was right actually.
Roderich tried to get a hold of himself as he realised that. He was letting a mere boy comfort him for heaven's sake! He was a grown man!
"Hey! You better go see-" Gilbert's voice cursed lowly when he appeared from around the corner of the house and them. "Is Priss okay? What happened?"
"Nothing." Ludwig said much to Roderich's surprise, before he could open his mouth an embarrass himself. "I said something emotional about... the flowers."
"The flowers, eh? No shit." Gilbert said dubiously, gesturing at the small mountain of flowers on Roderich's lap. "What is that for anyway, a floral arrangement?"
Ludwig chuckled and placed a hand on Roderich's shoulder, squeezing confortingly. It kind of worked. Roderich rubbed his eyes to clear away the salty water and sniffled.
"So, what were you about to say?" Ludwig asked, smoothly transitioning to another subject.
Gilbert frowned. "You guys just got a phone call and Feli ran back in to answer it."
Ludwig stood up straight, looking back at the house. "I'd better go up and check then. Be useful and help me take care of Roderich will you, Gilbert?"
"Sure thing, West." Gibert waved when Ludwig opened the back door of the house and went in. "I'll just keep old Roddy here company shall I?"
He approached Roderich's wheelchair and released the brakes, moving him forward quietly and slowly. Roderich was surprised, he had half expected Gilbert to spin him around and throw him off for whatever childish reason that drove him.
"So why were you really crying?" Gilbert asked quietly after a while.
"What?" Roderich asked, freezing. His hands dove into the mound of flowers on his lap and he tore a few petals off one of the marigolds. "You heard your brother. He said-"
"Ja, I know what West said." Gilbert interjected rudely, coming to a sudden halt which made Roderich jerk forward in his seat. "Its also the first time in years that he's lied to my face like that. I can tell the difference! And you're not that much of a sissy to be crying over flowers."
"I apologize if you think that way." Roderich said, and his fingers stopped ravaging the poor flower. "But in any case, I don't think that this is any of your business."
Gilbert cursed again and walked around the chair to face Roderich. "Ja, its all secretive isn't it? Some stupid trick between you and brüder? Well you two aren't fooling anyone, I know what's going on here."
Roderich blinked. "You lost me again, Gilbert. I have absolutely no idea what you're saying."
"Stop it already." Gilbert said, closing his eyes. "Since when does West give out free hugs to strangers?"
"I'm not a stanger to him!" Roderich retorted. "I've known him since he was five! I'm like an older brother to him just as much as you are. But you didn't know that since you were so busy working with Francis in Paris!"
Gilbert's eyes widened at that, but then his expression soon switched back to a sneer again. "Ja right! Look priss, I am his older brother, and I'm telling you that the only person he's ever hugged like that is Feli."
"No he-" Roderich was about to argue that Elizabeta received hugs like those from Ludwig on a daily basis as well, when he suddenly realized exactly what Gilbert was insinuating with this conversation. He grit his teeth angrily at the accusation. "Gilbert, just so that we are very clear on this subject, you're brother was just comforing me. That hug did not mean... anything else. I don't even want to know how your brain reached that silly conclusion."
Roderich felt embarassed even just voicing that out. It felt so obvious to him.
"And why was he comforting you?"
"Like I said, none of your business."
Gilbert scoffed and looked away. "Then we're back to square one." He suddenly began chuckling to himself, and Roderich stared. "Maybe you really don't get it, I'm not so sure anymore actually."
"Get what?"
"I know why West hugged you." Gilbert replied, picking up a pebble on the ground and aimed it at the fountain.
"Do enlighten me."
"Have you ever seen youself crying?"
Roderich pouted at such an odd question. "I don't think so. I do not usually have the urge to search for a mirror the exact same moment when I'm wallowing is misery."
"Then there you have it..." Gilbert said, rubbing his hair almost wearily as he stared disbelievingly at Roderich. "You have that effect on people... You really don't know about it, huh?"
"What effect?" Roderich asked, lost. But Gilbert didn't even look like he was listening anymore. His eyes seemed to have found something on Roderich lap. In a flash, Gilbert's hand jerked forward and pulled a flower out of the mound. It was white and star-shaped, with a golden center.
"Did brüder give you this?" Gilbert asked, his entire demeanor changing from normal to enraged in the space of a second.
"Yes, like he did every other flower on my lap. Why, what's so special about this one?"
Gilbert's jaw was quaking and for a moment Roderich thought he saw pain flash in those cherry eyes. But that moment was soon gone and Gilbert threw the Edelweiss bud away with a powerful thrust of his hand. And then his hands were clasping both armrests on Roderich's wheelchair, and he loomed menacingly in front of the Austrian.
"You..." He breathed, his nose almost touching Roderich's. "I really hate you Little Master, you know that right? Your little plan won't work out, I swear it."
Roderich suddenly felt very wrong-footed and pain seared in his chest at Gilberts words- But the next moment, Feliciano bounded out of the house and Gilbert turned away, his livid expression slackening into nothing.
"I have good news!" Feliciano shouted, jumping on the tips of his toes and a wide smile on his angelic face. "Fratello's coming to visit!"
Who cares? Roderich wanted to scream.
Certainly not him. Not after the confession Gilbert had just handed him like an ultimatum. Hate, was such a strong word to use. What had Roderich ever done to receive that confession?
Roderich tried to hide his hurt the best he could, a looked up at Feliciano with what he hoped was a pleasant smile.
If Roderich had payed the slightest bit of attention, he would have noticed the grimace which took over Gilbert's face when Feliciano delivered his news.
.
…
Flashback
...
The strange feeling hadn't lessened and now Roderich was sure that he was coming down with something. His heart rate spiked whenever he saw Gilbert, his hands and feet felt clammy whenever their eyes met, and blood rushed to his cheeks whenever someone mentioned his name.
...Like right now.
"Look at that oaf, Gilbert." Elizabeta said savagely, glaring distastefully at the boy who was chatting rowdily with the band. "Is that any way to act? He's like a barbarian! At a formal party too!"
She was dressed in a pretty red blouse and black skirt, her hair styled up in a French bun. Roderich wanted to point out that Elizabeta had pretty much been exactly like him not even a couple of months ago, but stopped himself.
"Speaking of which." She asked, turning her green eyes to Roderich. "How come he's stopped annoying you now? Did you finally give him a sound beating?"
"What? No, of course not!" Roderich sniffed, arranging his cravat on his throat. "I would never stoop that low." Roderich would never have the guts to do it either, but he omitted mentioning that.
"Of course you wouldn't." Elizabeta gushed, smiling adoringly at him.
Roderich wondered what it would be like, feeling an adoration just as intense as Elizabeta did, for someone he loved.
But then again... Roderich's eyes flitted back to the figure in blue and white. Maybe I already have someone whom I look at that way.
"What are you looking at? Oh, right." Elizabeta finished her champagne in a few gulps and slammed her glass onto the bar top, nearly cracking its glass surface. "We should go confront him shouldn't we?"
"What? No, please wait!" But the protests died at his lips when Elizabeta grabbed his sleeve and pulled him along with her.
Roderich hadn't spoken to the boy, unless necessary, for more than a year now. Gilbert at least, pretended that nothing had happened between them, and for that Roderich was torn between the emotions of relief and frustration. Roderich often dreamt of that fateful night everything had changed. Or perhaps, nothing had. Maybe he'd just helped Gilbert grow up.
Gilbert was laughing with the trombone player, miming something crude until he noticed the two figures walking towards him. Roderich stopped a couple paces away from him but Elizabeta rampaged on. Perhaps her recent attachment to her more feminine side was taking a toll on her obvious hunger for a fight.
"Hey you!"
"Oh, so its 'hey you' now?" Gilbert said with mock hurt. "Whatever happened to Gilbutt, dear Jiz- oh sorry Liz?"
The band cracked up again. Elizabeta looked furious enough to throttle Gilbert to death on the spot and never regret it, but the trombone player got up from his spot and walking down to greet Elizabeta.
"Bonsoir Mademoiselle. I'm Francis." He said in a low, seductive tone. "Please ignore the lewd words of this man, he doesn't know how to speak to pretty ladies. You are looking very ravishing today."
Elizabeta smiled when the man kissed her hand but not in a shy or giggly way the other girls did, just in a pleased one. The man seemed surprised at that.
Gilbert let out a snort. "Don't even try to make her swoon, Franny. Elizabeta's not strung that way. Her eyes are set on only one person."
Elizabeta blushed profusedly then, and turned back around the moment Roderich had thought that he could make an escape. "Oh, how rude of me!" She said, remembering herself. "This is Roderich, er- Francis was it?"
"Bonnefoy." The blond man said, raising a hand to Roderich who grasped it softly.
"Roderich Edelstein."
"Francis Bonnefoy." The man introduced himself again, and brought his lips right next to Roderich's ear, lowering his voice to a whisper. "And I can see why Miss Elizabeta has her eyes on you Roderich."
Roderich's eyes widened behind his glasses and he coughed delicately into his hand. It was becoming more of an occurrence to meet people who were confident with themselves these days, but Roderich still found this openness surprising. His shyness seemed to be the reaction Francis was looking for because he smirked at him. Elizabeta looked conflicted for some reason, as if she torn between choosing either heaven or a fighting arena. Gilbert just stood there with his hands in his pockets, frowning.
"You're very bold." Roderich finally said, and thought he heard Gilbert scoff.
"Should I not have been?" Francis asked innocently, but Roderich saw the mischief in his eyes. It was the same brand of mischief Gilbert sometimes had in his own.
"Oh, nonsense." Elizabeta said immediately before Roderich could say a word. "We're all raging teenagers here are we not? Nothing should be taboo for us! We should enjoy tonight! Besides, Roderich adores blonds with blue eyes." Elizabeta added as an afterthought.
Roderich opened his mouth to disagree. He had no idea how she's got that notion lodged in her head. Probably because the only person she's ever seen me kiss was Vash.
But Roderich's thoughts were once again interrupted but a mumble which was more close to a whisper. "You like blonds?"
"With blue eyes, yes!" Elizabeta interjected with a dreamy expression which turned sour the moment she turned to Gilbert. "What of it?"
"Nothing." Gilbert said, glancing at Roderich quickly before looking away. "Just a question."
Francis however, was glancing from Roderich to Gilbert and back to Roderich again very curiously. He seemed to come to a conclusion when he finally turned to face Elizabeta.
"Miss Liz, I couldn't agree more with your previous thought. Tonight is indeed a night to live." He said, offering her his arm. "Shall we dance?"
Elizabeta looked at her partner bright-eyed and agreed. She waved a short goodbye and a wink to Roderich before walking off with Francis.
Roderich turn to speak to Gilbert but found that he'd disappeared. Looking around, he saw a white mop of spiky hair disappearing through the curtain which led out to a grand veranda outside the ball room. Roderich bid goodbye to the band players who had all returned to playing, and rushed after Gilbert.
Slipping under the heavy curtain with difficulty, he found the albino boy leaning against the railing, staring out into the clear starry night. Roderich shivered. Gilbert looked very handsome, framed by the darkness of the night. His jaw was more defined now, his body taller and more mature. Roderich forced down his desire to kiss him again.
Gilbert must have heard Roderich's footsteps because he turned, a startled expression on his face when he saw who had followed him. "What're you doing here, Little Master?"
"I came... for a breath of fresh air." Roderich invented, nodding.
"Did you?" Gilbert asked, his eyes roaming over Roderich body from head to toe. "I can see why. With all that silk and velvet on you... Isn't it stifling?"
"Indeed." Roderich murmured. His cravat was itching his throat now. Maybe the cotton wasn't as good at the tailor had promised it would be.
Another pause, during which Gilbert simply stared at Roderich who looked at anywhere but him. "You should be thanking me right about now."
"For what?" Roderich inquired.
"For introducing you to Francis." Gilbert said, as if it was obvious. "He's gotta be just your type right? Come to think of it, even his hairstyle's kinda similar to Va-"
"For the last time..." Roderich interjected hotly. "Honesly, if anyone actually bothered listening to me, they'd know that I do not actually 'have a thing' for blonds with blue eyes."
"You don't?" Gilbert asked, confused. "Liz doesn't usually lie."
"Please, I'm not that shallow! I don't just go for a person's overall beauty. I like to see their intellectual side too... along with the looks."
"Well, Franny's got that too, the bastard." Gilbert's jaw worked as he mulled the thought over. "Have you... kissed anyone else since then?" He asked suddenly. This time, there was no blush on his face as he broached the subject. It was Roderich who faintly turned red instead.
"Why do you want to know that Gilbert?"
Gilbert opened his mouth to answer but then it was shut again and he smirked to himself. "Forget it. If you answer yes, it'll be hard for me. But if you answer no, then it might be even harder still. Its a lose-lose situation for me, Priss. Forget I asked the question."
"So you are just going to shoot something like that out onto the open and leave it there?" Roderich asked, feeling his temper flare.
"Ja, I am." Gilbert responded with equal heat. "I'm leaving in a few months, Little Master."
Roderich deflated faster than a popping balloon. "You're leaving." He parroted in monotone.
Gilbert turned away. "I'm going to France to finish high school." He said. "Francis's family are taking me in for a couple of years."
"If its for education... Well, I have nothing to say to that. My parents said that they are going to invite an exchange student over too." Roderich said, his hand rising automatically to the part of his shirt directly over his heart which he clutched at. It hurt so much. "Will you be visiting?"
"Don't think so." Gilbert replied breezily. "A whole new teaching system and language to get used to. I'll be spending the busiest years of my life there."
"Oh. Well then, I guess this is farewell." Roderich didn't know how he was still manging to talk without his voice cracking.
He turned on his heel and had almost reached the curtain, when he falt something grab hold of the back of his suit. A pair of arms suddenly engulfed him into a desperate hug from behind, and Roderich heard a breathy voice whisper into his ear.
"No matter what happens... You will always be Little Master to me, alright?"
Roderich nodded, feeling a whimper rise up his chest. Roderich felt cool fingers loostening his itchy, constricting cravat before pulling it away from his throat. Another hand tilted his head sideways when a pair of lips attached themselves to the side of his neck. Roderich shivered bodily, limply falling back into Gilbert's chest. The lips sucked on his neck lovingly, then removed themselves before peppering butterfly kisses around the area. Gilbert's hands started traveling lower, brushing down his stomach, ghosting over his hips-
But then Roderich remembered what this was supposed to be.
A fucking goodbye.
Prolonging this would only hurt him later.
Yes, Roderich was selfish like that. He was sick of feeling confused about Gilbert. He bit the inside of his cheek to stop the cascade of tears which threatened to pour out from his eyes and pushed at Gilbert's searching hands.
The arms were gone as quickly as they appeared, leaving nothing behind except the fleeting heat.
Roderich didn't look back as he slid open the curtain with a hand.
"Goodbye, Gilbert."
Then he walked back out into the glittering dancefloor, like nothing had happened.
.
…
End Flashback
…
.
Arthur sat in the "guestroom", which was rapidly becoming known as "Roderich's bedroom", and let his green eyes peruse the word document on the Austrian's laptop.
"Bloody hell, this is brilliant!" The Englishman said once he had finished reading, sipping the impeccable Earl Grey Ludwig had prepared for him. "I swear, its like ever since you've stepped into Germany, the story is just writing itself!"
"Thank you." Roderich said, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear shyly. "So you still think I should stay here?"
"Stay here?" Arthur asked incredulously. "I'll plant your legs to the ground here if that's what it takes. Keep going like this and I promise this year's best novelist award will be in the bag too."
"Great." Roderich muttered, sipping his own tea. Roderich didn't really want to impose on anyone, but Ludwig had said it was fine. He doubted Gilbert would share those feelings. His hand was how mostly healed and functional anyway, except for a few scratches. His terrible sprain was almost gone.
Well, Roderich decided, The faster I get the book done the faster I can get out of here and get back to my home in Austria.
"Yes its all very good and everything. But Roderich... you are alright, aren't you?" Arthur asked.
"Of course I am." Roderich said. "Why, do I look unwell?"
"No, no." Arthur said, his ears turned slightly red. It was so rare for him to show concern for anyone that Roderich couldn't help but feel touched. "Is just that... the more tragic parts of the story are becoming terribly life-like, and so are the protagonist's thoughts and emotions. They're so realistic that I cannot help but think-"
"You think that the author must have personally felt these emotions, to be able to put them words so clearly?"
Wow, Arthur. Spot on.
Arthur froze. "I didn't mean it like that."
Roderich sighed, and closed his eyes briefly. There was no point lying to Arthur of all people, who had been there alongside him for more than five years now. "You are not wrong, my friend. Your intuition as an editor is as acute as ever."
"Oh hell. For once I had dreadfully hoped that I was wrong." Arthur replied, looking downcast for Roderich's sake. It was cute really. "Is there anything I can-"
"I fear not, Arthur." Roderich smiled, looking away.
Arthur sighed. "I hope everything works out, old chap. Nobody deserves to feel this miserable."
"Thank you Arthur." Roderich said. "Are you staying long in Germany?"
"I'm afraid not. I'll be off to attend an editors' conference in America tomorrow, where a certain rival editor will be present." Arthur said, his large eyebrows furrowing for a moment. "I just dropped in to visit you."
"I appreciate the sentiment."
"It was nothing." Arthur answered, jumping up. "But actually now that you've mentioned it, I realize that I must go."
Roderich tried to get off his bed but was pushed down by his blond friend. "But I should see you out!" The Austrian argued.
"Rest, you stubborn prick." Arthur grinned, shaking his head. "I'll show myself out, and I'm sure that the springy Italian fellow will be around anyway."
"Alright then." Roderich relented, feeling tired after having just finishing yet another chapter of his novel. "Have a nice flight."
"And you a quick recovery." Arthur gave him a casual salute and left with a smile closing the door softly behind him. Not a moment later Roderich heard Feliciano's excited yell and a muffled curse from Arthur.
Then the door to his room opened again. Roderich looked up to see Ludwig entering the room and sat back up against the headboard of his bed.
Ludwig looked troubled for some reason. "I thought you would be feeling better."
"I am." Roderich assured him. "There is nothing you can possibly do to help me more than you already have, Ludwig."
Ludwig's pale eyebrows furrowed. "I was not talking about your... physical health."
Roderich's breathing stopped momentarily, and his mind suddenly began uttering all the swear words his childhood caretaker had repeatedly drilled him to not speak aloud under any circumstance. "You were listening at the door? Eavesdropping is not good, Ludwig."
"No, I read the chapters that you wrote." Ludwig said. He dragged the armchair from the corner of the room to Roderich's bedside, and sat down in it with the stance of a psychiatrist. "I thought that was terrific writing, but for it to have come from your heart..."
"Ludwig, there is really nothing that can be said or don-"
"Tell my brüder." Ludwig said earnestly.
"You do know!" Roderich said, blushing furiously.
"Of course I know. Anyone with eyes knows, except brüder who seems to think that you like me, for some idiotic reason no doubt." Ludwig stated, in obvious frustration.
"Ludwig, I don't plan on confessing." Roderich sighed.
"Why not? You are both suffering-"
"Not from the same causes, his are probably different from mine."
"Of couse not! Brüder cares for you very-"
"Not in the same way Ludwig."
Ludwig seemed to be feeling particularly enthusiastic about this topic. "I'm fairly certain-"
"He said that he hates me."
"He couldn't have."
"He did, Ludwig." Roderich smiled weakly.
"He... what, really?" There was troubled expression on Ludwig's face.
"I am not joking."
"What?" Ludwig gave him a look of disbelief. "Why would he do that?"
"Because he obviously doesn't return my feelings."
"But he does." The blond said almost forcefully. "He couldn't possibly have meant what he said Roderich."
Roderich smiled at the blond and shook his head. "Stop worrying about me Ludwig. I'm fine."
Ludwig grimaced at him. "You're not fine. Neither of you are fine! This whole thing is stupid and both of you are just hurting each other. I'll see this to the end Roderich, I swear."
Ludwig got to his feet with a determined look in his eyes. Not even bothering to replace the chintz chair back from where he had found it, he stalked out of the room muttering under his breath.
Roderich shook his head and sighed, falling back onto his fluffy pillows.
He wondered for a moment why Ludwig was so sure that Gilbert felt something for him in return. Then he fell asleep and tried to erase the pain from his dreams.
.
…
Flashback
...
Antonio was like a hurricane. A tropical cyclone.
He rushed into Roderich's life with speed and precision. His passion was as fiery as the winds of a tempest, yet his love was as warm and calm as the eye of a storm. And once that passed over Roderich, the pelting rain drenched him again in another layer of lust, ruthless yet maddening at the same time.
It had been during one of the loneliest periods in Roderich's life. He was sharing the mansion with Elizabeta, but even though they attended the same university, their courses were so different that they rarely found time to see each other.
Antonio had taken the same majors as Roderich. Antonio laughed like his whole day brighted up just with a smile from Roderich. Roderich wanted to forget, the way Gilbert obviously had if his facebook pictures were any hint of the wild parties he attended every weekend. Antonio managed to make him do just that. Forget.
The Spaniard just walked in and whisked Roderich away from all that was painful, with that same mischievious blaze in his eyes that Gilbert had.
Maybe that was one of the reasons Roderich had given in.
He had first met the boy in one of the hallways at the mansion. Antonio's back had been turned to Roderich and his eyes had been fixed on one of the large pictures framed in what resembled real gold.
"That was the end of the year party a few years ago." Roderich said, remembering the painful night Gilbert had left.
"Si, I know." The boy replied with a slight Spanish lilt to his English accent, pointing at the blond near the edge of the picture. "Francis is a good friend of mine. I was invited to the party, but I couldn't attend. My cousin's birthday was on the same day."
Roderich started to feel uncomfortable at the mention of Francis, but Antonio's eyes suddenly moved to the person beside the Frenchman, and he pointed at the figure. "Who's that beautiful boy? Dios mio, he's gorgeous. Francis always manages to capture the best, doesn't he?"
Roderich was sure he was blushing purple by then. The boy didn't know that he was pointing at Roderich on the picture! "I you must know, he didn't manage to capture me actually." Roderich finally said, catching the attention of the brunette who turned around...
And Roderich's breath caught in his throat.
The boy must have been hand-made by a deity. Perhaps by the goddess Aphrodite herself. The Spaniard, for lack of a better term, was sex-on-legs. His brown hair waved down to his stunning green eyes and his tanned skin looked like the sun had kissed it over and over again until it had achieved the perfect shade... and his lips! Roderich thought that the lips looked like they had been painted onto that angelic face with the most finest and surest of strokes, and the paint was still wet.
A note of child-like surprise blew into those eyes when Antonio turned around. "Lo siento. Ay... My apologies. I mistook you for-... I didn't know that you were-" He pointed vaguely back at the picture behind him, looking adorably flustered. His previous words about Francis, which would have usually angered Roderich, didn't even graze his ego.
It was probably bacause of that enchanting voice Antonio had been gifted with.
"Nothing to be worried about, Mr. Carriedo." Roderich said, approaching the boy and raising a hand in greeting. "Welcome to Switzerland. I'm Roderich Edelstein."
The hand that had grasped his had sent a thrill down Roderich's body, and the eyes which had seemed so sincere and innocent before, suddenly looked like a sin factory. "Roderich." Antonio said, his voice practically dripping with promises of dirty whispers spoken between sheets and of hands brushing over wet skin. "What a pleasure to meet you."
.
.
It progressed pretty swiftly from there on. Elizabeta returned home one day to find the person she considered the most gorgeous man she had ever seen in her life, entangled in the sofa with an equally handsome male... and then she promptly shrieked and fainted from hyperventilation.
But even as their relationship started, Roderich knew that it was going to be a short burst of fire. Antonio was leaving in two years after his graduation and Roderich was planning to either stay in Switzerland or returning to Austria.
Still, he never been happier in his life, and Roderich decided to live this particular flame to its fullest.
Elizabeta was very supportive of their relationship as well. Well, to tell the truth, she actually seemed to thrive on it. Gone were the days when she would growl at whoever turned to look at Roderich twice in the campus. Now, Elizabeta was busy seeing a handsome Turkish second year herself and she continually encouraged the couple by taking trillions of photos, making memories as if that would make thair passion somehow last longer.
"I don't care who I see later on." Antonio told him one day just as Elizabeta turned abruptly and told them to smile for a photo. "I'll remember us."
"I doubt it will be easy for me to forget this either." Roderich said, turned his head closer when Antonio nuzzled it playfully. Refined and aristocratic his personality might be, Roderich still was an eighteen-year-old teenager and first experiences like these were always remembered... Even if Roderich always imagined someone else when he was with Antonio.
It felt horrible at times... Roderich always felt guilty whenever Antonio smiled at him. Even though their time together was short, the Spanish boy deserved so much more than his half-hearted feelings. Why wouldn't that albino just leave Roderich's sanity alone? He had made it quite clear that he had no thoughts of him while Roderich still sat here agonizing over-
"Guys!" Elizabeta turned the camera on them, jolting Roderich out of his thoughts. "A kiss! Go on, kiss! I need something to fap to tonight, haha!"
Roderich grimaced playfully at her dirty humor, mosty because it sounded very much like something she'd actually do. Antonio just grinned manically at Roderich and tilted his head up, his tongue entering the Austrian's mouth without hesitation. Roderich melted into the kiss and the fingers trailing down his back, and wrapped his own arms around the Spaniard while Elizabeta wolf-whistled.
He felt Antonio grinning into the kiss and smiled back.
It wasn't love, and they both weren't stupid enough to label it at such. Antonio was Roderich's friend, and vice versa. They thrived on the passion, and trill and the feeling they derived from each other.
It was going very well indeed.
.
.
Roderich didn't feel tearful over it. He just sat on the bed they had called theirs for the past two years. Now it was going to be just his again.
Antonio sighed, and pulled out another cherry tomato from the bowl in front of him, popping it into his mouth. "Stop that, Roderich."
"I'm not doing anything."
"Exactly." Antonio whined. "You're worrying me, especially since I know that you're going to be all alone now. Elizabeta's leaving with one little Italian and the other one's going back with me. Who do you have?"
"Don't make me sound so pitiful." Roderich scoffed. "I'll stay in Switzerland for a while, or maybe I'll go to England to meet that editor who's really interested in my novel drafts."
Antonio shook his head, brown hair waving around. "Be careful Roderich." He mumbled, concern etched on his features. "I don't want anything to happen to you, mi amigo."
"Nothing will." Roderich replied good-naturedly. "You can obviously see that I'm not that broken up about us."
"I can. That's why I knew we could do this without hurting each other." Antonio confessed, eating another tomato. "I knew that I couldn't hurt you... because your heart already belongs to someone else."
Roderich gulped and turned to his close companion of two years. "How did you find out?"
"You whisper in your sleep..." Antonio grinned, making kissy-faces at him. "Who's Gilbert?"
The name sent a shard right through the wound in Roderich's chest, one he thought had long healed. It obviously hadn't.
"As a matter of fact, you might actually see him later this year, if you're still planning on visiting your friend Francis." Roderich replied icily.
"I'm sorry. Did I bring back bad memories?" Antonio asked, studying his face closely. The shard was wiggling deeper into the pain now. Gilbert's name did in fact bring back a number of feelings he'd kept locked inside the box... everything was tumbling out now.
His chest was killing him... How much more could Gilbert's mere memory possibly do before Roderich actually teared up, unable to hide his emotions anymore?
Antonio noticed his expression and placed a cherry tomato in his mouth. Leaning over, he sealed their lips together lovingly and transfering it into Roderich's mouth with a passionate kiss.
Roderich found himself thrust back into the present. Antonio's fingers were fishing around the glass bowl for another small tomato.
"Antonio." Roderich whispered before he could slip away into Gilbert-oriented part of his mind again. "Make me forget again. Just this last time. You're leaving tomorrow."
There was a flash of movement and a pair of tree green eyes were closing in with a look of mischievousness in them, making Roderich fall back onto their- his bed.
"What do you think I'm doing?" Antonio asked, and again there was the taste of sweet tomatoes and the feeling of a warm, wet lips on his.
As the warm body above his loosened him out of his clothes and removed his glasses, Roderich let out a sigh of relief.
At least one more night of heat and passion before the morphine returned.
Even this time, when Roderich came, he thought of Gilbert's face.
.
…
End Flashback
…
.
"Fratello!" Feliciano screamed and launched himself onto his brother. The other man accompanying him entered and shook Ludwig's hand and exchanged a cheery, complicated fist-bump with Gilbert, before he noticed Roderich and enveloped him into a tight hug, kissing each cheek twice.
"How are you?" He asked enthusiastically, once he released the Austrian.
"Better." Roderich said, assuming that the question had been about his physical health. Bitter, would have been the response if Antonio had asked about his life in general.
Antonio seemed to notice the lapse in his expression because his olive-green eyes became glum for a second for Roderich's sake.
The look lasted briefly of course, until Lovino Vargas finally shoved his brother away and entered the house. The moment the green irises spotted the moody auburn, his expression turned akin to that of a tamed dog, all goofy and moon-eyed.
Heavens, is that what love really did to people?
Roderich tried to keep a straight face when Lovino came to greet him, the Italian pretending that he hadn't missing Roderich at all.
Nobody present except for Antonio and himself actually knew what had happened between them after all. So Roderich saw no reason to act all awkward in front of Antonio's current boyfriend.
At dinner that day, Roderich found himself bombarded by questions about his book, mostly from Lovino.
"So those bastard German characters of yours still alive? No offense..." Lovino said with a total lack of remorse on his face as he glared at Ludwig.
Roderich bit back laughter. "No spoilers Lovino."
"You're no fun Roderich!" Lovino pouted.
"I can tell you that at least one bastard German dies at the end." Roderich relented.
"Ah! Now, that's what I wanted to hear!"
Feliciano brought over the food and they all dug in, Ludwig and Roderich politely commenting on the taste.
"Its nothing like the paëlla I cook though, right amigo?" Antonio said, and Roderich froze when he realized that the question was directed at him, not Gilbert.
"Yes." Roderich finally said with a smile. It was an innocent question after all. "You always were an amazing cook."
There was a sound of a chair legs dragging on the ground and Gilbert was on his feet.
"I need some air." He grumbled before turning around and leaving the room.
Feliciano looked sadly confused but Roderich grit his teeth. He didn't notice Ludwig shooting a meaningful glance at Antonio.
"Ah..." Antonio said, standing up himself. His hand set itself upon Roderich shoulder with a warm squeeze and Roderich smiled up at him. "I'll go catch up with Gil for a moment. I'll be right back, Lovi!"
"Fuck if I care what you do..."
"Fratello! Don't swear..."
The whole time, Ludwig shook his head, mourning the bizarre way the world worked.
.
…
Flashback
...
Ludwig knew that he was witnessing something weird from the moment he heard the first groan.
He had initially wanted to just wake up his brother since it was already nearing afternoon, but the albino visiting from France was still sleeping like a log- or so Ludwig had thought.
Ludwig had opened the door to his brother's room the same moment a gasp sounded, and he froze.
Ludwig saw his brother's pained face and closed eyes, thrashing on the bed. A few months prior, he would have run in and started shaking Gilbert awake. But Ludwig was twelve now, and old enough to know what the shaking motion coming form underneath the sheets actually was.
Blushing furiously, Ludwig was just about to close the door shut and leave his brother to his privacy when Gilbert cursed violently and his unoccupied fist slammed onto the bedside desk... loudly.
There was a hitch of breath and a silent scream before Gilbert sat up and swore again.
"Damn you." He said, his voice no more a whisper. "Damn you... Roderich."
.
…
End Flashback
…
.
There wasn't even a knock before Roderich door burst open, and sure enough there stood Gilbert.
Roderich put his laptop down and made to sit up, but Gilbert waved a hand to indicate otherwise.
"What are you doing here?" Roderich asked warily.
"They're fucking." Gilbert said without preamble, closing the door behind him and walking up to Roderich's bed. "Ludwig and his Italian, and Antonio and his Italian. They're so loud that I can't sleep."
"Oh." Roderich said, a soft pink spreading across his cheekbones. "Well then-"
"That's got to be hard for you right?" Gilbert said, and Roderich heard the door's lock turn with a click. Gilbert's feet padded closer to Roderich's bed where the Austrian stilled. "Your ex-lover and latest crush just doing it, without considering your feelings at all."
Roderich's eye widened. How on earth did Gilbert know about his former relationship with Anto- wait, latest crush? "What do you mean latest crush?" Roderich asked, indignant. "I- you don't still think I'm in love with Ludwig do you? That's preposterous!"
Gilbert's sneer faltered for a moment. "You're... really not?"
"No!" Roderich argued. He wanted so much at that moment to just tell Gilbert how much he was in love with him... but he couldn't. He just didn't have the courage to face the rejection right now. Instead, Roderich sighed wearily and took off his glasses. He placed them and the closed laptop on the bedsite table, before rubbing his forehead. "Why are you here Gilbert? Those things you are referring to... They're all way back in my past. Why are you bringing them up now?"
"...I'm horny."
"Yes, you- what?"
Before Roderich could even more than splutter, Gilbert closed the distance between them and his hand grasped the back of Roderich's neck. For the second time in who knows how many years, their lips touched- for the briefest of seconds- before Gilbert retreated. His eyes were glazed over, just from that tiny kiss... He really must be extremely horny...
But before Roderich could ask what Gilbert was doing, the lips were back... and it was nothing like their chaste kiss moment before.
This kiss was... angry. Gilbert's lips were molding against his, bruising them and forcing them open long enough for his tongue to enter Roderich's mouth and touch his in a dominating tussle.
Gilbert shifted, angling his head to pry Roderich's mouth open and sat himself between Roderich legs, his body heat was searing. He deepened the kiss languidly, before probing harshly with his tongue. His hands were sliding over Roderich's chest, stopping tenderly at his heart to feel the erratic tempo of his heartbeats, before moving away to pinch a nipple sharply. Gilbert was so full of contradictions today.
Roderich whimpered, his hands trembling on Gilbert's arms as the other man furiously plunged into his mouth and ground their heated crotches together.
A rough hand slipped in and tugged Roderich's member free and then there was such sweet pressure on it. Gilbert's lips moved to his jaw and nipped, then moved to his throat where sharp teeth bit hard.
Roderich's yelped and felt Gilbert harden on top of him in response.
Oh dear... this was something long overdue wasn't it?
"Roderich..." Came an almost pained whisper. Roderich wondered for a moment if it had been his imagination but then his heart clenched when he realized it really had been Gilbert's voice.
He didn't even have the strength to ask Gilbert to stop now. Not when he was finally getting what he had craved for after such a long time. Even if it was a one time thing, Roderich wanted it. He wanted it so badly... He wanted it all.
Roderich's legs wrapped around Gilbert waist and he pulled the burning, throbbing heat closer to him.
"Do you have-"
"I don't need it- Ahh!" Gilbert's hands were just... perfection. "I don't need anything. Just... h-hurry!"
"Don't be stupid. I'll rip you apart."
But there was no way Roderich was letting go of Gilbert now. It was physically impossible and he shook his head adamantly.
Fingers rose to Roderich's lips and he accepted them, swiping his tongue over them quickly. Gilbert's hand was shaking, with passion or rage Roderich didn't know. He cried out when Gilbert pushed a finger into him, wriggling it experimentally. Roderich briefly wondered if he'd done this with anyone else before... He stopped those thoughts as soon as another finger entered him swiftly and scissored to open him up. His mind automatically concentrated on the pleasure, on Gilbert, right here right now over anything else.
Roderich's fingers clawed on Gilbert's shoulders and he muffled his moans against Gilbert's lips which latched onto his again. Gilbert's fingers were moving in and out, in and out... The movement sent waves of glorious sensations all over Roderich. Then he added a third finger and moved in so deep and he touched-
"Hnn... ahh!" Roderich cried out this time and hoped desperately that the other inhabitants of the house hadn't heard had found that part of Roderich which made him writhe and pant in reckless abandon, his chest heaving. "Gilbert... Hurry."
Gilbert made a strangled noise and bit into Roderich neck again, fiercely. His hands were burning Roderich wherever they touched. Roderich found Gilbert's pale ear beside his lips and whimpered, licking it gently.
"Please, Gilbert... Please."
There was very little warning before Roderich was divested of his boxers and a hardness was poking against his hole, tentatively at first but then it thrust it without hesitation.
It still hurt like a bitch. Roderich would have screamed if he hadn't been so engrossed in the pleasure of just having Gilbert inside him. He was bleeding, he realized, as Gilbert drove his hips hard into him. Roderich didn't even care... The pain was slight and he was so aroused right now that all he could feel was the most intense form of pleasure. Roderich lost himself in that Gilbert-induced cloud of euphoria.
Gilbert's hand was so loving when he found Roderich's manhood again, and pulled slowly, beckoningly... a drastic constrast to the speed at which his hips were colliding with Roderich's ass.
Roderich had never felt more aroused in his life. Not even what he had with Antonio could come close to this intensity.
"Who are you thinking of?" Gilbert questioned suddenly, and Roderich froze in his pleasure. It was like Gilbert had just read his thoughts. "Its not me... is it."
The voice was angry again, accusing... just like Gilbert's personality these days. His thrusts became faster and more eratic, reducing Roderich into a wordless mess.
"Ugh... More!" He managed to say somehow, his nails drawing red patterns on Gilbert's back. "Just... go faster!"
"I'll break you, if I do that." Gilbert said concernedly despite his previous anger, and Roderich opened his eyes so see Gilbert's face flushed rosy, his eyes almost black with lust and his expression frustrated. Heat pooled in Roderich's stomach at the sight and he licked his lips. He knew that he was close now.
"Then break me." Roderich voiced, looking directly into those dilated pupils and Gilbert groaned, swearing loudly. "I'm yours."
He pulled away so that just his heated tip was inside Roderich before he jerked all the way in sheathing himself completely and making Roderich writhe and moan sinfully.
"You're... mine."
There was a sudden pressure on his lips again and Roderich opened his mouth, accepting Gilbert's tongue in and letting his own tangle with it.
There was a moment of brief whiteness across his vision and Roderich wondered if he was blacking out, but then he realized that he was climaxing... Harder than he ever had before in his life. Gilbert was staring at him with a look of awe, and whatever he saw on Roderich's face obviously sent him over to edge then because Roderich felt Gilbert's pleasure pulsing into his body in short bursts.
Gilbert wasn't able to move sideways before his body collapsed on Roderich. Both of them were boneless and breathing hard. Gilbert's manhood was soft now, but when Roderich hips shifted against his, he felt it grow semi-hard inside him again. Gilbert too looked down in apparent surprise before his features clouded and he pulled out of Roderich gently.
"You're bleeding." He said, his fingers gently trailing down the curve of Roderich ass and bringing them up to the Austrian's face to show him the red liquid. "Why didn't you tell me that I was hurting you?"
"I didn't want it to stop." Roderich muttered, turning on his side to face Gilbert. "And you looked like you needed to vent your frustration somewhere."
Gilbert looked indignant for a brief moment, but then he wiped his hands on the red-stained sheets. "I was mad at you, but I'm not a monster, Roderich."
"You did not hurt me." It was true, Roderich had just had the best sex in his life. "...Why? Why were you... angry?"
Gilbert turned on his side too, and his face was close to Roderich's again. "I kept thinking about you and Antonio together." He said, making Roderich flinch. "And you and brüder -"
"Oh, for heaven's sake- will you just get over that!"
Gilbert seemed shocked at Roderich's outburst.
"I do not like him! Is it really so difficult to get that past your thick skull?"
"But he likes you." Gilbert said, his face devoid of anger as a look of resignation flashed across it. "He keeps telling me that he wants you to be happy, and that I should- nevermind. He knows about you and Antonio too, you know. "
"What... he does?" Roderich asked embarassed. Ludwig had never mentioned it...
"Everyone does, Priss." Gilbert sneered, sitting up on the bed. "And when he sees the state of these sheets tomorrow, you'll see what he does."
Roderich saw Gilbert's naked body bending down to pick up his clothes and wondered if he was dreaming. He wasn't... Roderich's lips were numb, his limbs where aching, his throat was raw and his butt was hurting. Roderich felt utterly debauched, but he'd never felt more sated in his life.
"Where are you going?" Roderich heard himself ask.
Gilbert turned around, and Roderich saw his cock come to life again. But Gilbert simply looked away abruptly and put his jeans on. "To my room. We're done here, right? Sleep tight, Priss."
Roderich didn't get a chance to answer before Gilbert left the room with a loud slam of the door.
Roderich suddenly realized that he was too exhaused to even mourn his sudden departure. His whispered Gilbert's name once before rolling over and closing his eyes.
That night the Austrian got the best sleep he had in decades.
.
…
Flashback
...
A fifteen year old Ludwig was listening attentively as Francis explained differential equations.
But he couldn't concentrate enough, because Gilbert was banging things around in his room and making loud noises of frustration. Several times, Francis looked up in worry at the ceiling above their head.
There was a brief pause, a sudden moment of calm, before hurried footsteps thundered down the stairs and Gilbert burst into the living room. Ignoring his brother, Gilbert approached the pair and grabbed his blond friend by the collar of his shirt, slamming him against the wall with one hand and and brandishing his tablet with the other.
"Gilbert! Get a hold on yourself, mon ami. What are you-"
Francis's blue eyes locked onto the tablet screen hidden from Ludwig's view and his face crumpled.
"I'm sorry-" But Francis was interrupted when Gilbert pulled him away from the wall and slammed the blonde back against it hard.
Ludwig jumped into motion and pulled his brother away from the Frenchman, tucking his hands behind his back in a cop-hold. He managed to do it effortlessly, he was taller than his brother now and they were nearly even in strength. It helped, perhaps, that Gilbert was shaking like a leaf in autumn.
The tablet fell from his hand and fell with a thump to the floor. Ludwig hissed, but the screen remained intact. The facebook video which had been frozen suddenly began to play, and Ludwig was surprised when he recognized two people on it whom he knew quite well.
He saw them often when he visited Elizabeta. But the way Antonio's nose as nuzzling Roderich's neck, Ludwig realized that he might have missed something about their relationhsip.
Off screen, Elizabeta was laughing cheerily as snow pelted the couple huddled close together on the Christmass decorated, but otherwise empty street.
"Guys, a kiss! Go on, kiss! I need something to fap to tonight, haha!" Gilbert seemed to shudder in disgust at Elizabeta's trilling laugh.
Antonio's waggled his eyebrows playfully and he lifted his index finger to Roderich's chin, tilting it up. The Spaniard didn't even bother to attach their lips before his tongue plunged in with well-practiced ease between red lips.
"Wow..." Elizabeta muttered, whistling when Roderich's hands rose in synchronization to the hand trailing down his back and wound themselves around Antonio's neck.
Their lips were still connected when Antonio suddenly smiled. And Roderich, opening his eyes, did the same. He even chuckled softly into the kiss.
He looked happier than Ludwig had ever seen him. But the blond found that there was still something missing. Something he couldn't put his finger on.
A tanned hand rose to Roderich's cheekbone and rubbed at the redness there, but there was nothing remotely affectionate about the gesture. To tell the truth, to Ludwig it almost seemed like both men would like nothing more than to rip each other's clothes off right then and there, despite the freezing weather.
He realized the next moment that Gilbert, still locked in his arms, hadn't stopped shaking.
Another second later, Ludwig saw transparent drops hit the marble floor of their livingroom, and noticed his brother's uneven breathing.
"Brüder!" He said, unwisely letting go of Gilbert in his shock, who wasted to time in grabbing Francis's collar again. But this time, there was no fight in his fists. Gilbert looked like he was on the verge of breaking down.
"Why didn't you tell me before!" He yelled at Francis, who looked slightly guilty but mostly just sad. "We even met him today... I thought I'd seen him somewhere- I didn't expect him to be the one on Elizabeta's wall in countless videos and pictures with him!"
"What did you expect me to do?" Francis pushed away Gilbert's hands and straightened his shirt. "You admitted yourself that you didn't know how you felt about him. And Antonio is a good man."
"I know." Gilbert said, wiping his eyes furiously and punching the wall. "I can't even hate him."
"You shouldn't." Francis admonished. "You saw how happy they looked. It seems that he is doing pretty well without you."
"Fuck you, Francis."
Francis sighed, running a hand through his golden locks. "I told you this would happen remember? I told you to tell him how you felt. If you had done it, then perhaps you would be the one holding him in that video, not Antonio. Surely you didn't think Roderich would not catch someone else's eye?"
Gilbert winced at the mention of the Austrian's name. "Just the opposite... He's too fucking pretty for his own good. I've... always known that."
And Ludwig suddenly pieced together what was going on. He looked from Gilbert, to the video on the floor which had paused on Roderich's glittering smile and wet lips, and let out a gasp of understanding.
Gilbert turned around, as though just noticing his little brother's presence, and saw him looking down at Roderich's image. "Oh, don't you go and fall in love with him too!" He said, sounding disgruntled.
"No... I just..." Ludwig flushed. He felt that he could suddenly relate with his brother's emotions. Did this mean that he could tell his brother about Feliciano after all?
But before he could, Gilbert shook his head and turned away. "There, see? He has that effect on people. He can just mess up a person's feelings with one gesture, one simple act... and then choose not to take responsibility for what he's done. He can walk away with no remorse."
"You're being harsh." Francis said, frowning. "I know that you told me about your first kiss, mon ami. But did it ever occur to you that he might have fallen for you on that night too?"
Gilbert looked up, red-eyed and miserable at Francis. His gaze was confused. "What the hell are you talking about? I fell for him a long time before that kiss happened."
.
…
End Flashback
...
Ludwig did in fact see the bruises on his throat, and the indentation of teeth marks on his collarbone. They were hard to hide after all.
He didn't say anything when he saw them. It was after they said goodbye to Antonio and Lovino that something actually happened.
That very afternoon, Gilbert came up to Roderich with a swollen black eye as he lounged in the garden on the bench beneath the apple tree. There was a shit-eating grin on his face.
"Gilbert! What happened?" Roderich asked, scandalized.
"What do you think happened?" Gilbert asked, falling down on a knee beside the bench Roderich was sitting on. His cheekbone was cut too. "My dear brother suddenly turned into Captain America. He socked me! Just like that! Hey, maybe that American penpal of his is helping him grow some balls..."
"Its not funny, Gilbert." Roderich frowned, his hands itching to trace the painful looking parts of Gilbert's face.
"Do you see me smiling?" Gilbert asked in all seriousness. "What he did was justified. I did hurt you last night."
"Did you intend to?" Roderich scoffed, looking away. After last night, nothing seemed to matter anymore. Not to him at least- Roderich had decided to take a chance... Gilbert must have seen the vacant, calculating look on his face because he suddenly recoiled as though he had been burnt.
"Shit..." He said, his eyes wide. "I've fucked up again, haven't I? Gott... what did I do this tim-"
"Stop agonizing over it." Roderich found himself snapping, as he finished re-reading over few dialogues for his character. "As I remember it, I was the one who kept telling you to go harder. I assure you it was quite enjoyable for me last night."
"You bled out a gallon of blood!" Roderich actually felt the urge to chuckle at that exclamation. It seemed at though Gilbert really did care after all.
"It was hardly a gallon... and I was alright with that. It was proof that it really happened." Roderich heard himself admitting againt his will. His insides suddenly froze in apprehension.
The air around stilled at those words. When Roderich looked up, he saw Gilbert staring at him with something which looked akin to fear on his face. "W-What are you saying Little Master?" He asked, his voice faltering. "Do you... do you l-like m..."
Roderich took of his glasses and touched the heels of his hands to his aching eyes. "What I'm saying Gilbert, is that none of this actually matters. I've finished my novel. I'm going back to Austria in a few hours."
"...What?"
Roderich looked anywhere but at Gilbert, keeping his eyes lowered. "Vash is coming to pick me up in a couple minutes." He said more slowly. "I've imposed on you all long enough. Now is perhaps the best time-"
"You're going away?" Gilbert asked, his voice muffled.
"...That is what I said Gilbert." Roderich replied. There was no point in chasing after something so futile.
Roderich was probably going to end up a lonely man, a lonely old man, miserable at his mansion back in Austria...
Roderich's inner monologue was interrupted however when he was wrenched to his feet and pulled flush against Gilbert. Firm arms came around him and squeezed hard. Gilbert's face fell to the crook of Roderich's neck and he felt rapid exhalations warm his skin. "I won't let you go... Not now, not after-" He was babbling, his voice was panicky. "I won't hand you over to him! Not without a fight... you're mine. I claimed you last night, remember? You just said it! You're mine!"
A pair of lips are suddenly sucking hard on Roderich's throat and he felt his back arch. "Gilbert, stop-"
"I can't!" Gilbert said, sounding anguished. "Don't you see? You've turned me into this. I had never felt this... this carnal desire for anyone before until you kissed me that night! Gott... how did you even know how to kiss like that- we were barely teenagers... Do you know how much it hurts whenever I think about that? About where you learnt to kiss like that? About how many other guys you slept with? How many of them you loved?"
Roderich gasped at the rough hand forcing him against the tree they were standing beneath. "I'm sorry... There weren't many, I swear."
"Like hell-"
"No really... Gilbert, I only kissed Vash once... and there was only Antonio." But I only ever loved you...
"No, fuck, don't say that." Gilbert growled, punctuating every word with a harsh bite on Roderich's throat. "That just makes it worse..."
"I'm s-sorry." Roderich managed, bracing his hands on Gilbert's shoulders and feeling terribly aroused despite the serious situation.
When Gilbert finally resurfaced after leaving another angry trail of marks on Roderich, he cursed in German. "I'm sorry too. I'm sor- I-I love you, Roderich." Gilbert confessed, and then his lips were taking Roderich's, claiming them, sucking on them hard enough to make Roderich cry out.
His hips were rocking into Roderich's against the tree, his leg pressed between Roderich's thighs, his tongue felt like fire as it dove deeper and deeper into's Roderich's mouth...
And then Roderich was gasping, pushing away. Hurt crossed Gilbert features and his eyes clouded in supressed anger immediately. He looked like he was about to bolt but Roderich quickly caught his breath and grabbed onto his sleeves, pulling him back hurriedly. "No wait! I just... forgot to breathe."
"...Oh."
"I-I love you too!" Roderich blurted out, feeling his whole face heat up as he did so. But he had to put it out there in the open, expecially after all the misundertanding, all the lost time, that had led to where they both were today.
Gilbert's eyes flickered ruby-red in the afternoon light. And then, out of nowhere, he raised his own hand to his mouth and bit hard.
"Oww! Fuck!"
"Gilbert!"
"...I'm not dreaming." Gilbert's voice was incredulous. "You really just said that-"
"Yes." Roderich nodded, breathlessly. "Mein Gott, you're such an idiot... But, yes, I did."
For a moment they were like children, smiling at each other's faces and at each other's silliness.
And then those lips were back again. Gilbert's hand was warm and surprisingly gentle as they cupped Roderich's cheek, his lips were soft. "Forgive me." Gilbert said in a uncharacteristically open voice. "I'm so sorry for everything I've done. I was stupid and young, and when I finally realized what I was feeling it was too late."
Roderich raised his own arms and let them his fingers wind around the white spikes on the back of Gilbert's head, near the nape of his neck, just the way he'd always wanted to do. "It was never too late Gilbert. At least, not for me." Roderich whispered.
Gilbert let out a breath of relief and let his forehead fall against Roderich's. "I'll never let you go again. Never. I promise, Roderich."
"Hmmm..."
They stood there sharing the heat of each other's bodies and the lazy comfort they derived from it.
.
…
Flashback
...
Gilbert kept checking around the back of the garden, so see if Elizabeta had followed his tracks and found him yet. It surely wasn't going to be long now. Elizabeta was too good at this.
Gilbert's eyes momentarily flitted back towards Roderich, who was sitting between two white rose bushes and had a heap of white flowers on his lap.
His eyes were downcast and the spring sunlight highlighted his long lashes, the shadows of which fell on his cheeks. The beauty spot on his cheek quivered when he laughed as a couple butterflies flew past his neck, no doubt tickling him.
Gilbert cursed the sudden flipping sensation in his stomach decided to walk back over to the other child.
"You're my hostage, Priss." Gilbert threatened, bending down to Roderich's eye level. "You should be pissed, or scared, or at least trying to get away from me."
"What's the point?" Roderich asked, his hand moving quickly and methodically among the star-shaped flowers on his lap. "I you win now, I'll just have to stay here. If Liz wins then I'll just be dragged along to play dress-up."
"Huh." Gilbert confered. "Good point..."
"Of course its a good point." Roderich said condescendingly. But before Gilbert could even scoff, he found violet irises only millimeters away from his own. A pair of hands placed something on his head.
Gilbert froze. His breathing stopped as Roderich adjusted something on top of his head, before retreating with a look of awe on his face.
"Amazing." Roderich said, in a breathy voice.
"W-What is?" Gilbert found himself asking, his mind blank after the smell of minty breath he had felt on his lips.
"You're hair is whiter than the Edelweiss!" Roderich said, laughing adorably.
Gilbert raised his hand numbly to find a circlet of flowers around his head, shaped like a flowery crown.
"What's- Take this off, Roddy! Kings don't wear this! Its for girls!" Gilbert said, frowning.
"...You don't like it?" Roderich asked, his eyes lowered.
Gilbert paused again before deciding to leave the crown of Edelweiss on his head.
"Nah, who gives a damn." He finally said, making Roderich jump at the curse. "I'll just say it's a prince's crown and rub into Elizabeta's face how much of a goon he is."
Gilbert saw the way Roderich's face brightened and suddenly felt his heart skip a couple beats. His hand moved up to cover that troubling part of his chest, surprised.
Damn... No way. Was this what his Uncle Frederick had been talking about?
But he had said that Gilbert would feel this for a girl! Not Roderich...
Although, Roderich was as pretty as a girl. No, he was prettier-
"I found you Gilbert!" Elizabeta's war cry sounded as he jumped out of a bush, brandishing his toy sword. "I've come to rescue the prizoner."
"I your dreams, sissy-pants!" Gilbert shouted back, picking up his own sword and blocking Roderich from Elizabeta's view. "This prinzessin is mine!"
…
End Flashback
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FIN
AN/: WOW... I should have just called this fic "The HUGE Misunderstanding"!
This fic is for my (twisted, creepy, obsessed) friend who calls herself Miss Hearbreaker and just really wanted to see Roderich being a sexy little minx and everyone else basically falling over themselves for him.
PS. To Miss Heartbreaker: Girl, this fic is the best birthday gift you ever got! Admit it! (I spent four months constantly writing this so be grateful!)
PPS. Happy Birthday!
To the rest of you blatantly awesome readers... Thanks for being so wonderful, as usual!