Group A match: England vs United States.
Chaser: Tommy Turnbull (#40)
Chaser: Lola Mbola (#4)
Chaser: Ferb Fletcher (#9)
Beater: Richard Watterson (#83)
Beater: Nicole Watterson (#38)
Keeper: Nigel Uno (#1)
Seeker: Robotboy [R] (#12)
Coach: Professor Moshimo
Chaser: Danny Phantom (#16)
Chaser: Phineas Flynn (#43)
Chaser: Gwen Tennyson (#01)
Beater: Raven (#60)
Beater: Buttercup (#42)
Keeper: Stan Smith [C] (#36)
Seeker: Rainbow Dash (#20)
Coach: Charles Montgomery Burns
Harry: Well guys, this'll be the last match of this World Cup's group stage, yet it is most certainly the one we've been looking forward to far more than any other match thus far. We're once again at Wembley Stadium, England's national Muggle football stadium, to see our host nations, England, facing none other than the United States!
Ron: Yeah, but blimey! As much we all want England to win, they really do have their work cut out for them in this one. I mean, the U.S. are, like, one of the most bloody overpowered teams in the cup, what with their half-ghost, their half-alien, their superheroes, their CIA agent and their Seeker who can approach speeds rivaled only by Sonic The Hedgehog... I hate to say it, but I dunno how in the bloody hell we're gonna get outta this one.
Hermione: Well we'd better, because if we lose this one, we're out of the Cup! Plus, you both forgot to mention Phineas and Ferb; those of you who know the Charlotte Hallows know that those two are practically inseperable, and here they are, being forced to play against each other for two different rival nations. I don't know how that's gonna turn out, but either way, my point is that our guys MUST win at all costs!
Harry: For once, Hermione, I couldn't agree with you more...
Phineas: Hey, Ferb?
Phineas: Well I have to admit, I was worried about us having to play against each other, but suddenly, I think I'm gonna enjoy this, win or lose. Good luck, bro!
Ferb: Likewise. And may the best nation win.
Phineas: Oh, we intend to! (cackles)
With the whole crowd cheering in anticipation (the American fans being vastly outnumbered by the British fans), the Bludgers and Golden Snitch are quickly released, and the Quaffle is immediately tossed upwards.
Harry: And the match we've all been waiting for is now underway!
Phineas and Ferb are the two quickest Chasers out of the gate - but it is Phineas who gets to the Quaffle first, securing possession for the United States.
Phineas: See ya in the quarterfinals, bro... or not!
Ferb: Well played...
Phineas then passes the Quaffle over to Danny Phantom; as soon as Danny catches it, Richard and Nicole Watterson attempt a Dopplebeater Defense, both hitting the same Bludger at the same time towards Danny in an attempt to pulverize him. But Danny sees this coming and goes ghost...
Richard: Uh, is it me, or did the Bludger just go right through him?
Nicole: That bastard ALWAYS does that!
The Bludger ends up going right through Danny, leaving him perfectly unscathed. Tommy Turnbull then charges at him from the front, but Danny just avoids him before he can get his hands on the Quaffle.
Tommy: Crap, now he's wide open...!
With Lola Mbola way out of reach of him, Danny Phantom has no one to keep him from reaching the England goal;
Harry: Oh, but it's SAVED by Nigel Uno!
Nigel: (chuckles) Like I'm afraid of ghosts!
This Game Break takes place over at Twickenham Stadium, where Canada and Finland are playing. The score is still 0-0. Piper has possession of the Quaffle for Canada, unaware that the giant slingshot on Finland's sidelines has a Bad Piggie loaded in it, and is ready to fire right at him...
Piper gets hit right smack in the side of the head with the pig, almost losing her balance as the Quaffle slips out of her arms. Jake The Blue Bird picks the loose Quaffle up and scores shortly afterwards, pushing Finland into a 10-0 lead over Canada.
BACK TO WEMBLEY STADIUM
With the whole crowd in shock over the save that just occurred, Nigel Uno simply smirks as he tosses the Quaffle back into play, and into the waiting arms of Lola Mbola.
Tommy: Go, Lola, I'll cover you!
Lola: (giggles) OK.
So with Tommy Turnbull flanking her, Lola Mbola pushes forward. Gwen Tennyson makes a rush at her, but Tommy easily cuts her off before she can get to Lola. However, unbeknownst to the both of them...
Raven: Azarath Metrion Zinthos!
Tommy: (gasp) LOLA!
Ron: Blimey, what a hit! Lola looks real disoriented, she does.
Harry: I'm surprised she's still on her broom.
Hermione: C'mon, Nigel, we need another save!
Lola Mbola is hit square in the chest with Raven's spell; she just barely hangs onto her broom while the Quaffle falls out of her hands and into the waiting arms of Phineas Flynn.
For the most part, Phineas is able to fly up towards England's goal with little opposition - but then, just before he reaches the scoring area, his own stepbrother, Ferb Fletcher, pops up in front of him, cutting him off...
Phineas: Not today, bro!
But Phineas decides to take the shot anyway, throwing the Quaffle just out of Ferb's reach and towards the hoops;
Harry: Oh my God, that ginger actually did it.
Ron: Hey, I'm a ginger too, you know!
Hermione: Whatever; the point is, we're way behind now. C'mon, England!
Miraculously, Phineas just manages to get the Quaffle through the outside hoop before Nigel Uno can dive down to it, and with the shot being fired from outside the scoring area, the score is now 15-0, United States.
As loud as the few American fans in the stands are cheering, they're all totally drowned out by the booing from the native British fans as Nigel Uno hands the Quaffle over to Ferb Fletcher and back into play once more. Phineas is the first to the scene, but Ferb easily blows right by.
Ferb: Heh-heh, so good, yet so predictable...
Buttercup tries to knock Ferb out with a Bludger, but Ferb dodges with little effort, and then passes the Quaffle over to Tommy Turnbull. Then suddenly, just as Tommy crosses midfield...
Danny: I'm going ghost...!
Ron: Dammit, Tommy, you're going the wrong way!
Harry: Uh, Ron? You're forgetting that the U.S. have Danny Phantom on their team...
Hermione: See, THIS kind of crap is why the whole world hates America! Damn you all to hell, ghost vermin!
Before Tommy even sees it coming, his eyes turn green and he suddenly turns around and flies back towards his own team's goal, having been possessed by Danny Phantom. Lola, Ferb, and the Wattersons are all too caught by surprised to respond, as Tommy fires at his own goal from outside the scoring area;
Harry: You've gotta be freaking kidding me! Now we're down 30-0!
Tommy: Uh, I... what just happened?
Ferb: That damned ghost got you, that's what happened!
Tommy: Oh... DAMN!
With Nigel Uno having been caught by surprise, the Quaffle goes through to give the U.S. a 30-0 lead. The British fans are seemingly on the verge of throwing a riot quite reminiscent of the ones thrown by Muggle soccer fans over the whole thing as Nigel somberly hands the Quaffle over to Ferb Fletcher.
Tommy: Professor, release the Bombardiers!
Harry: YES! YES! Our mascots are coming out!
Ron: Bloody hell yeah! These guys might just turn things around for us!
Hermione: I sure hope so. If England loses, there might be a riot...
On Tommy Turnbull's wishes, Professor Moshimo releases the British mascots known as the Bombardiers; a squadron of giant, magically enlarged bombardier beetles named John, Paul, George and Ringo, respectively. Arriving in a finger four formation, the beetles all split up to cover different team members; while Ringo goes to the hoops to assist Nigel Uno in his Keeping duties, John, Paul and George move to flank Tommy, Lola Mbola and Ferb Fletcher, respectively, to give them much-needed backup against this arguably overpowered American team.
Raven and Buttercup hit Bludgers towards the giant insects, but miss. Meanwhile, as Ferb makes it to midfield, the first opposing player he meets is none other than his own stepbrother, Phineas Flynn, causing Ferb to pull to a halt. For several nerveracking moments, the two brothers hover there, looking uneasily at each other, unsure of what to do, especially with George the giant bomardier beetle at Ferb's side, awaiting his orders...
Ferb: SIC 'EM, GEORGE!
Phineas: Ferb, wha- AAAAAAHH!
Harry: Unbelievable! Ferb has just attacked his own brother!
Ron: I knew those beetles would come in handy, heh heh!
Hermione: Yeah, but how's Phineas gonna take it?
On Ferb's orders, his own brother is suddenly sprayed by a superheated, 270-degree chemical mixture from the posterior of the giant beetle. Badly burned and scarred, Phineas writhes around on his broom like a fish out of water while Ferb moves on ahead, as the American fans look at him with disgusted eyes.
With both Gwen Tennyson and Danny Phantom out of striking distance, and with the Bombardiers an ever-present threat, Ferb charges forward and towards the U.S. goal, even as their Keeper, Stan Smith, draws his 9mm...
This Game Break takes us over to Stamford Bridge, where Japan is facing the DR Congo. The score is 90-20, Japan, but Coco - the parrot who plays as Seeker for the Congo - is tantalizingly close to catching the Snitch and upsetting Japan and winning not just the match, but the group, for DR Congo. But that's when an all-too-familiar streak of blue blows right by her...
...sure enough, Sonic The Hedgehog has done it yet again, catching the Snitch with his signature last-second blitz, and winning the match for Japan by a score of 240-20 over the DR Congo.
BACK TO WEMBLEY STADIUM
Hermione: Oh my God, he's been shot!
Stan: That's for attacking our teammate - AND your brother, you terrorist!
Before Ferb can shoot, a 9mm bullet fired from Stan Smith's pistol pierces the shoulder of his Quaffle arm. The Quaffle drops from Ferb's grip as he clutches his shoulder, which now has blood spurting out of it. Instinctively, the giant beetle George charges at Stan, ready to spray him like he did Phineas - but Gwen Tennyson won't have it;
Ron: NO! That bitch got our beetle!
Harry: Oh my God, and he's bleeding profusely, too!
Hermione: The nerve of that bitch, using that spell!
Before anyone knows what happened, the giant beetle is suddenly lying on the ground in a pool of its own blood, thanks to Gwen Tennyson's curse. Immediately, the three other beetles - John, Paul and Ringo - break off from their other duties and charge at Gwen in their own Hawkshead Attacking Formation, ready to spray her down with no mercy - and yet, totally unaware of the fact that the American team has a mascot, too...
Ron: What just happened? WHAT THE BLOODY HELL JUST HAPPENED?!
Harry: Our beetles have been scorced by... that dragon! That's the Americans' mascot!
Hermione: Will somebody stop the damn match? Enough's enough, already!
Acting on pure instinct to protect his team, the United States mascot - a 40-foot amphithere named Fire-In-His-Loins - flies up from the sidelines and breathes a massive jet of flame on the three massive beetles, scorching and charring their bodies black as they collapse to the ground in a hideous heap. Of course, even with this mighty dragon of the United States out on the pitch, the insanity is not over; Robotboy, the Seeker for England, has been right behind the Golden Snitch for quite some time now, and has not payed attention to anything else up until Fire-In-His-Loins showed up and took out the Bombardiers. Realizing how much of a threat he is, and how no one else on his side has the muscle to stand up to the great feathered dragon, Robotboy activates his machine guns, and all while continuing to chase the Snitch, turns them to face the dragon and fires...
Harry: That a boy, Robotboy!
Ron: He's driving that dragon away!
Hermione: Yeah, but he's gotta focus on the Snitch; I mean, it's right there, and who knows when You-Know-Who's gonna strike.
Harry: You-Know-Who's dead, Hermione.
Hermione: Not THAT You-Know-Who, you thickheads...!
Ultimately, the stream of bullets from Robotboy's guns are too much for the dragon to handle; he forgets about his team and flies out of the stadium to save his own life. The British fans erupt into an ecstatic frenzy - however, the effort taken to drive off Fire-In-His-Loins has left Robotboy totally unprepared for the rainbow-colored streak that has just blown by him...
Harry: I can't believe it! Just when we had it won, that blasted pony shows up and steals the tournament from us! Unbelievable!
Hermione: That's not even the worst of it; the fans are starting to riot! We gotta get outta here now!
Harry: Right. Everyone take my hand... OK, one, two THREE!
Robotboy, in the end, proves to be no match for Rainbow Dash, as she blitzes him right from behind to steal the Golden Snitch; the United States defeats England 180-0, the U.S. wins Group A, and England is now officially elimiated from the Cup.
True to their counterparts who follow Muggle football, the British fans in the stands are so upset by the outcome that the grandstands erupt into chaos; the American fans have no chance to celebrate their victory. They try to escape, but in no time, the British fans have them at their mercy, pinning them to the ground and kicking them relentlessly while those who can't join in on that action throw trash and other things in the direction of the U.S. team.
With this sudden mayhem, neither team has the chance to react to the outcome of the match or their futures in this World Cup. The British team quietly slips into their locker room unscathed, while the American team flocks to the sidelines to meet their coach, the old, ruthless plutocrat Charles Montgomery Burns; and just now joining them from the locker room is one of his most trusted and twisted geniuses, Professor Frink.
Rainbow Dash: C'mon, let us in!
Frink: Negative. No part of this stadium is safe for us!
Phineas: Screw that, I gotta go confront my brother for what he did to me!
Burns: No time. Professor, get us outta here now!
Frink: You got it...!
And with that, the Professor activates a handheld remote teleporter, teleporting the entire team out of the stadium, back to their apartment complex on the other side of London, and out of harm's way as the Quidditch riot behind them rages on...
Around the Cup;
Canada - 40; Finland - 160
Belgium - 170; Peru - 50
DR Congo - 20; Japan - 240
United States* (3-0)
DR Congo* (2-1)
New Zealand (0-3)
(an asterisk (*) indicates the teams that have advanced into the knockout stage)
Finland vs United States
France vs Italy
DR Congo vs Tanzania
Belgium vs Japan
Featured match; France vs Italy.