Chapter 1: huge tip

Rated M: For language and adult situations. All characters engaging in any sexual acts in later chapters are 18 or over, because children having sex is not my cup of tea!

"Fucking little bitch!" Eric Cartman's voice rang out through the school hallway, along with the metallic clang of a body slamming against the vast wall of lockers. Butters frantically tried to scramble away but Eric continued to push him back at every attempted escape.

"Eric, p-please stop. I'll give you all the money I have." Butters stammered out nervously.

"Do I look like a charity case? Your money's probably covered in fag germs anyways; I don't want to catch the gay!" Eric laughed and continued to taunt the smaller boy. A few other students chuckled at the scene while retrieving their books from their lockers, not sparing a second glance. This harassment was commonplace, and hardly anyone cared to assist including some of the teachers.

Wendy would sometimes come to the rescue, being the activist she always was, "Cartman, why don't you pick on someone your own size? Oh I'm sorry, no one here is your size!" Butters scrambled away while Eric was distracted.

Craig fumed silently at his locker. No, not because he felt bad for Butters; but because Eric's words infuriated him. Craig had been fourteen years old when he was sure he didn't like girls (Bebe had tried to get him to date her, the kiss was disgustingly wet and she was rather 'handsy', which had made him realize; if the curvy desirable Bebe couldn't turn on his switches, no girl ever would). It's not as if he would ever tell anyone, he would simply be alone forever, that's what he had decided. He didn't really like people anyways… maybe he was asexual… However his fantasies were filled with good looking actors from his favored action movies (and occasionally Clyde or Token) so it was only hopeful thinking. He slammed his locker door with a growl.

The bell rang and the students shuffled to their respective homerooms. Why asexuality you ask? Craig's prospects were low, he would probably be in South Park his entire life (With his terrible grades and lack of desire for college) and the town was full of redneck homophobes. The only other homosexual he knew of that was near his age was… Butters. Craig liked men who were … men. Not men who… wore Hello Kitty t-shirts.

Senior year was near conclusion, and Craig had lined up a job at a local tattoo shop so he could move out of his parent's house ASAP. Working while going to school was torture, but it was only a couple of weeks until graduation.

"You have one project to complete before graduation, if you don't complete the project you will fail Chemistry." The science teacher was such a bitch. "It's a group project, and I will be assigning the partners…", she started to list of names and Craig slumped in his chair, hopefully she would give him one of his friends or Kyle or Wendy to make it an easy 'A'. "Eric Cartman and Leopold Stotch."

"Wait, wait, wait…" Eric interrupted her mid-speech, "you can't pair me up with Butters Ms. Johansen, I will most definitely murder him." The other students laughed but nodded at the teacher in agreement, Butters slouched in his chair.

The teacher stiffened but took the others affirmation to heart, "alright, Eric Cartman and Clyde Donovan. Leopold Stotch and Craig Tucker. Stan Marsh and…" Craig ignored the continuing list and threw a death glare in Butter's direction (He would have been paired with Clyde otherwise…). Butters slouched even more and looked worriedly at Craig. "You have the week to come up with any chemistry project we have not explored in this class. You're dismissed."

Craig grabbed his bag and bolted, glad school was over, but he was due at work in fifteen minutes. He could hear small footsteps trying to catch up to him before he exited the building. He turned, Butters was in pursuit. Once the small boy had caught up with Craig his words came out in a fast jumble, "if you want I can do the project for you and just say you worked on it, unless you had a project in mind, I mean chemistry is really easy so I really have no problem doing it all, but I'm totally open to any input…" He kept spewing out words as if he had not thought about what he was going to say.

Does this kid ever breathe? Craig thought before interjecting, "It's not important, I have work today," it came out sounding angry and short, although he didn't mean it, that's just how he sounded when he was in a hurry.

"Where do you work?" Butter's eyes grew wide with the question. Intrusive!

"Tattoo shop on Fifth Street…" Craig mumbled, while still walking briskly to his destination.

"You really like that body art stuff, huh? My mom says it's not godly, but she's kind of crazy." Butter's eyes wandered over Craig's sparing miscellaneous piercings and tattoos that were visible to the eye. He thought it made Craig look really cool, especially the two hoops planted below either side of his lower lip, 'snake bites' Butter remembered the name and laughed, Craig is kind of like a snake.

Craig stopped suddenly and turned towards Butters, "Why are you talking to me? We aren't friends!" He growled in the most intimidating voice he could muster. Butters shrank back, looking properly intimidated.

"S-sorry." Butters took a deep breath before turning on his heel to scamper off in the other direction.

"Good riddance…" Craig mumbled continuing his walk toward work.


"Hey Charlie." Craig shuffled into the tattoo shop.

"You're late." Charlie glanced up from the large tribal tattoo he was currently grinding into some man's arm.

"Sorry, school…" He grumbled. Charlie grunted in response.

An hour into Craig's work day and he was washing his hands for what seemed like the fiftieth time. Some slutty punk blonde chick (with more facial piercings than the majority of his customers) was batting her eyes from his work table. "I like the pain!" She nearly moaned, hiking her shirt up a little too far. God, he hated it when these freaks hit on him.

"That's wonderful.." Craig's monotone voice barked out sarcastically. He pulled on his blue gloves and grabbed his tools. He decided a countdown or warning for this bitch was unnecessary, after all… she liked it right? The needle got temporarily snagged and he had to push through a second time.

The girl yelped and tears came to her eyes. "You could have warned me," she sniffled.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you liked it?" Craig feigned innocence, chuckling on the inside.

"Be nice to the customers Craig, especially the hot ones." Charlie warned, giving the blonde a wink. Everyone in the shop stopped to stare out the window when a pastel blue VW bug pulled up to the front of the shop. "More ladies?" Charlie inquired, waggling his eyebrows. When a boy stepped out of the car Charlie's face fell. Craig narrowed his eyes at Butters, who was walking up to the shop. Maybe he's going to the ice cream shop next door?

DING

"Hi!" Butters waved a friendly greeting to Charlie.

"What can we do for you today?" Charlie gave Butters and inquisitive once-over. Butters was wearing green skinny jeans, Purple converse, and a too-big spongebob sweater that hung off his shoulder. Please don't say that you know me…

"Well, I got a hundred dollars for my eighteenth birthday and I thought it would be really fun to…" He glanced around the shop at the images on the walls and never finished his sentence, perhaps lost in thought. "Craig works here right?" He added suddenly, Craig winced.

"He does some of the piercings, he's in the back. You go to school with him?" Butters nodded frantically. Craig face-palmed behind his curtain. "What can we do for you today?"

"something discreet…" Butters sighed, he didn't know much about all of this but he was determined to have something to talk to Craig about.

"Discreet? How about a dick piercing?" Craig sauntered out from behind the shop. Butters visibly stiffened and blushed. "What are you doing here, Butters?"

"Getting a piercing, of course!" He said instantly. Craig frowned at that. "But not on my… Um." Butters blushed glancing down. "How about my tongue, does that hurt a lot?"

"Yes, it's excruciating." Craig deadpanned.

"It's not so bad," Charlie interjected, "It a little pinch and some soreness for a couple days, no big deal." He shrugged.

"Yay!" Butters clapped his hands together joyously, "this is so exciting!" Craig rolled his eyes and gestured for Butters to come behind the curtain. He climbed up into the chair and smiled widely at Craig, who frowned back.

"We have a tongue ring that says 'insert cock here', did you want that too?" Craig smirked, Butters smile melted.

"That's not very nice." Butters whispered at his lap. Craig felt a twinge of regret in his chest. A jab at Butter's sexuality was uncalled for, it just slipped out.

"Sorry." The word felt foreign on Craig's tongue. Butters immediately perked up again.

"It's ok, I'm used to it." He smiled wide.

When Craig was done washing up and pulling on a new pair of gloves he walked over to Butters and grabbed his chin roughly. "Say Ahh".

Butters opened his mouth wide and stuck his tongue out, his teeth were unnaturally perfect and white. Craig's furrowed his brow… jealousy, over this girly freak? Craig's teeth were embarrassing, a little crooked on the bottom and stained from cigarettes and coffee. He couldn't help but notice that Butters also smelled really good at this close proximity Damnit! (Most people had a sickening B.O. odor under their perfume, but not Butters. Hygienic bastard!). Craig lifted Butters' tongue to examine the web that (if too short) could hinder the process, it was satisfactory. "Honestly the clamp hurts more than the needle does." Craig said, pulling the mentioned device out.

"Clamp?!" Butters tried to say around his pinned tongue before Craig brought the contraption up to his face. His blue eyes widened at the torture device. Craig clamped him and slipped the needle through before Butters could blink. The boy's eyes got glossy but he didn't cry or complain as much as Craig expected. His eyes lit up when Craig handed him the mirror. "Do you think it will make me look cooler? I'm not very good at being cool." The lisp was expected per the new wound but Craig couldn't help but crack a grin at Butters' comment.

"Yes." He answered simply, shrugging.

"I've never seen you smile before, is my voice funny?" Butters said tilting his head to the side and making a goofy face.

Craig grinned again, "Yes. You'll sound better tomorrow." He handed Butters a bottle of mouth wash and sent him back to the counter to pay.

"Sixty dollars even." Charlie rang him up.

"Here, no change please, you can give Craig the rest." Butters smiled and sauntered back to his car.

"Tip?" Craig poked his head out of the curtain looking around like a dog smelling a treat.

Charlie laughed, "Yeah, goddamn I wish I got tips this good. I think the fruit likes you." He deposited the remaining forty dollars into Craig's outstretched hand.

"He gave you the whole hundred? Damn…" What an idiot.


The next day Craig sought out Butters for the first time in his life, to work on the chemistry project. "Butters, you gave me way too big of a tip." He said walking up behind the shorter boy.

"Oh, that's ok. I want to make sure we get along while we work on the project." You paid me off to be nice to you? I'm not Cartman for god sakes! Craig pulled out a small black plastic bag and removed a couple items from it.

"Look, you left enough for a tip and some backup rings so I brought you some. A clear one for discreetness as you mentioned…" He held the clear plastic ring up. "and…"

"The 'insert cock here' one? I hope you brought me that!" Craig stopped and looked at Butters with wide eyes and a slight blush. Butters couldn't keep a straight face and burst out laughing, "I'm kidding! The look on your face…"

Craig shook his head, "just a happy face, I thought you might be into that sort of thing…but you can't change it for a little while."

"Thanks!" Butters grinned widely at him, Craig frowned. "So I was thinking, why don't we do a human battery for the assignment, it's really easy we just need some supplies, like wood blocks and copper and stuff but we can get it all at the hardware store."

"K," Craig shrugged, he really didn't care less, as long as he passed.

A/N: What can I say, I like rare pairings, and they're more of a challenge to write. If you would like me to continue please let me know. Thank you for reading!