Five years. For five years I pretended to be strong, to not care about others, I played the role all Slytherines play just so no one would know. I hated the role, hated lying, hated hiding the truth all I wanted was to be able to trust someone enough to tell the truth too, I just wanted a friend. I fooled them all to well, they all saw me as the proud, Slytherine Malfoy that they thought I was and none of them wanted to be friends. But this year I was done, I couldn't...wouldn't keep playing the game, I threw down my walls that I had built up so high and I put on a new face, the face of a scared, pale, little boy who now had an impossible task placed upon his shoulders.
I wasn't a killer, nor a monster, hell I wasn't anything like the rest of them and that was who I was, that's who I had fooled them to think I was. I had till the end of the year to kill him and time was slowly running out and I would either kill him, be killed, or kill myself and right now that last one sounds pretty good. I had the blade all I had to do was cut deeper, there were pills in the ward I could lie and say none of them were working until I had enough, jump from the astronomy tower? There were so many options that could kill me easily and quickly, I doubt anyone would actually care about my death, they'd stand there and laugh, comment on how weak I was, how worthless, what a failur.
At least I could unwind in the perfect bath, it was spacious and quiet this late at night and it was a perfect place for me to be alone, maybe I could just drown myself. No one would find me in time, why is there crying though? It doesn't sound like Myrtle, is there someone else actually here for once besides myself? Maybe I should...
(Draco stopped when he found the source of the crying. Katie Potter leaned against a pillar on the far side of the room, crying from a physical wound but also filled with inner sadness. She didn't look around, didn't seem to care and Draco went over to her.)
It's definetly Potter's sister, she's so smart just like that Granger, I bet everyone loves her, what reason does she have to be crying about? It's probably something stupid like a really bad test score or something, I doubt she's ever even experiencedc what I have, she doesn't understand true pain like I do. But there's something in her hand that's sparkling in the low dimmed lighting and what's dripping on the floor? It's dark and liquidy what's going on? Oh, it's blood, but why?
(Draco nelt behind the pillar and silently heard her whisper a spell he knew all to well, Draco could only watch as she continued to hurt herself. He could only listen to her as she thought about how unwanted she was, unloved, a nusisence to all around her.)
Tears were streaking down her fragil cheeks. Katie of all people, I could hear it in her voice, that sorrow can't be faked. But what should I do? Should I step forth and let her know that she's not alone in this battle?
(Draco didn't have time to act for Katie had already gone. He didn't see nor hear her go but it was definet that she was gone and there was nothing behind to suggest that she had ever been there. He sat there for a moment before going back to Slytherin common room, the next morning he looked for Katie at the long table in the Great hall but couldn't find her at all. For days he looked but could only find her in class never in the great hall.)
Why is she starving herself for? But I can't let her get to me I have one more chance at fixing this damn cabinet if I can't then I might as well kill myself now. What am I doing wrong? What am I missing?
(Draco tried to get the bird to transport back and forth between this cabinet and it's twin but when it came back like before, the bird was dead and tears brimed Dracos eyes as he fell to the floor.)
Why do I even try I'm just a failer at everything I do, what's the point of trying anymore I was a dead man from the start that's why he gave me this task because it was an ascuse to kill me.
(Draco began to cry. He pulled out his wand and pointed it to his head but he could not bring himself to say the words for the tears that ran down had closed his throat and he could not speak. Someone nealt infront of him and wrapped their arms comfortingly around him but when Draco looked up he only burried his head in her shoulder and cried.)
"I understand." Katie said smiling as tears feel as well "I know very well."
"How do you do it? Try...try to save me but..not yourself."
"It's easier to help others out of what I've become, I don't wnat others to suffer this way."
(Draco looked up into her blue-green eyes and she gazed into molten silver.)
Only now do I truly see her, only now do I truly see her broken shield hiding a shattered soul and a beaten heart. I don't know why I feel like I have to show her mine but as I reached to pull up my sleeve her hand stopped mine.
"You don't have to Draco. I don't need to see them to know that they're there."
She stood, held out her hands and said some words that I could understand, brought the bird back to life, and after saying the spell she opened the cabinet and the bird flew out and landed in it's cage.
"Because I've seen you suffer enough already. I see it in your eyes at those meetings your not like us and you don't want to be that's why."
I didn't understand, she was never at the meetings not from what I had seen but to prove that she was right she pulled up her left sleeve and boardered by scars was the dark mark.
"Dumbledore told me that I was found in Godrics Hollow with this mark as well as the lighting scar like Harry but he doesn't know if I'm really Harry's sister or if my parents knew of Voldemorts plans and left me there to die."
"Sorry." I said
"Don't be its just another reason to prove that I've always been a dead man walking. After all death was always my only friend that's why I could bring the bird back to life. Can I tell you something?"
She looked down and thought for a moment before meeting my eyes once more.
"I can only use dark magic. Light magic uses to much of my energy and if I use to many spells like that it's like poision to me."
"I've never heard of that before."
"It's very rare but those who do have I have can only use certain types of light magic."
Someone how she had managed so much with just being able to use dark magic and yet here she was still standing, still fighting, proving the world wrong that dark wizards can be nice too. She was truly amazing and when she had agreed to be friends her smile seemed to light up the entire room and it was a geniune smile that had been trapped by a desperate frown.
(For a while everything seemed to be fine. But Katie wasn't intirely truthful about herself and Draco had to find out the truth the hard way.)
The thing about Katie is that she's like a ghost, she's here one moment and then gone the next. I tried not to hurt myself and thinking of Katie helped me get through that, I had been two weeks clean since I meet Katie but I didn't know if the same was for her and not seeing her bothered me greatly. There was something about Katie that made everything seem better and she gave me a new light to look under but I can't seem to be able to pull her out of her own darkness.
(Draco froze in the hall, something didn't feel right and turning he saw that Snape's potion cabinet was barely opened and he ran to the perfects bathroom hopeing that he wasn't to late. When he got there he rushed to the limp figure across the room. At her side was a nife, a potion vile, severale bottles, a note, and her wand the tip was stained with blood. Draco pocketed the items, picked up Katie (despite her figure she was very light) and mad his way quickly to the Hospital wing. When he arrived the nurse looked terrifyed at Katie's limp figure and quickly rushed doing all that she could in hopes of saveing Katie's life. The nurse didn't care how long Draco stayed for and when he was alone at last did he read the note explaining how she couldn't do it anymore and had hoped that he would keep fighting.)
Oh Katie what have you done? Just seeing her lying still, barely breathing hurt to think that this was what I had planned of doing for years before. Katie believed no one cared for her but she was wrong, I cared. I wanted to help her get through this battle just as much as she had wanted me to keep fighting. What if it had been me? What if I had taken those pills? No doubt she would be here, worrying, wondering if I would everything that I was now thinking of. IN our won time of despair we had managed to walk through the dark together, she was my light at the end of this tunnel. I don't think that it was the I wasn't her light too, but more of that she was just to trapped by darkness that I seemed like a mere light that didn't really shine but was still there. I took her hand in mine and held it comfortingly and tight at the same time.
"Please wake up Katie. PLease don't die on me I need you here by my side. Please."
I held her hand to my forehead and closed my eyes. Her hand was stiff and cold and the sense of death hung about her like a Lethifold succing the life out of it's victum or maybe it was a Dementor that had destroyed our light and now wanted to take the only happiness that we had left. What would we be left with then? We were losing everything, I couldn't lose her too she was all I had left and yet she was all that I had ever had and needed. She was my light, my friend, the comfort of a despertely needed hug, the rising sun and melodious night, she was the reason that I had stayed strong, she was my sword, my shiled, my everything and without her I might as well die beside her lifeless form.
"Is it true?"
I looked up at Katie swearing that I had just heard her voice but it must have been my imagination.
"Is all of it true?"
She craked open her eyes and I barely glimpsed her ocean eyes as she squeezed my hand letting me know that she was indeed alive.
"Please answer me."
"Yes, you are all of that and more but.."
"Liglamency. I may have been asleep but when you took my hand I was able to look inside your mind and hear your thoughts." she sighed and closed her eyes. "Do not worry Draco I shall be fine, I've found my way through the tunnel."
A/N please review what you think this is the first time I have managed to write and HP fanfic that was actually pretty good in my opinion but I'd love to know what you guys think. Let me know if I should go on or not. So review if you want to know if Draco can succed, if Katie is truly alright, or if they will ever truly find peace.