13Like I said in the previous chapter, please don't flame. There will not be a couple and Sora will die anyways.
Achnologia that bastard. I could have died! He threw me off a freaking 60 story high tree, where in the world do you find a tree that big! I felt my heart stop as I fell, the ground coming fast. I could almost see myself splattered on the grass. My innards spraying everywhere like Haku's. Strangely at that moment instead of sadness I felt a deep anger, it mingled with my pitiful hatred and as soon as the thoughts of killing those who harmed my sister flitted into my mind. I was lying there, on the ground no injuries no pain. Achnologia flapped above me looking perplexed. There is something seriously wrong with me. I maybe I am the one killing my friends, that sounds cliché. Have I said that before? Whatever I feel sick.
April 10th
Sora's language arts teacher is making us do a life encyclopaedia. Apparently for each letter of the alphabet we have to write something relating to us. Like today we started with A.
A is for anger
Sometimes I sit and think of everything I've been through and instead of feeling sad. I'm filled with burning fury. I think of how many hurt me in my life and I think of how much I hate them, how I wish I could hurt them. I have long stopped crying, no longer will I self-pity. I will have my vengeance. And they will burn in hares.
Sora gave me a sad look, he said that if I ever wanted to talk I could. It made me feel guilty for condemning him to an early death.
April 12th
I didn't sleep last night. I kept hearing a voice in the back of my head. It was telling me to burn Sora's town. Of course I ignored it. But that made me think and ask this same question. Have I really been a murderer all this time? Curiosity prompted me to keep a rabbit as a pet. While petting it I forced myself to re live everyone's deaths. I looked back at the bunny, it wasn't hurt. But it looked scared, Achnologia was staring at me too. He didn't answer me when I asked what was wrong.
April 20th
I knew someone else was after me. I almost didn't recognise him. Hejoru's father, he found lying in the grass and tried to choke me. He...he's dead now. Achnologia killed him. I sat and watched the dragon crush him. Then eat him. He knocked me out after that, I wonder what face I made. And I know I said something, I wonder what.
April 30th
kinda broke down in front of Sora during break a few dates ago. I told him about everything, and like Yana he didn't pity me. He hugged me and said everything would be ok. I wish I could believe him. He stayed really close to me so I made him a deer. He and some other orphans ate it during their tea time, he said. I felt better after that. He's taking his end of the year test soon. The adults have agreed to let me move on without it. I'll go train instead, Sora wants to come with me. He said he would complete all his Exams in a day so we could hang out. I think I actually smiled, albeit half heartedly.
I'm ten now. I just happened to realise that when I went to read through my journal. Sora's test isn't until Thursday so he and I ditched to celebrate. He bought me cake, ice cream, and a card. I had to wait at the end of the road though. Sora was upset that I didn't tell him and didn't believe that I forgot. I was having a good time hanging with him until I found out that he likes guys. I don't hate him for that...I mean I can't see why he can't like other guys. I was just surprised that it was me. His exact words were ''Ya know Natsu, I really like you,'' I didn't get his meaning until ''And more like a friend, more like a brother,''
I kinda stared at him and he looked away, ''A like-like thing ya know?''
My reaction was bad, I got up and walked away. I have to apologise, but what would you do if your friend said he liked you in the mushy way but you didn't see them that way. Poor Sora, maybe if I leave now he can find someone else.
But he'll die, he'll die liking someone he shouldn't.
May 3rd
I havent seen Sora in a few weeks now. He's not at school and the orphanage says he wont talk to me. So if he's gonna be an idiot then fine, Achnologia says we need to leave soon anyways. I'll try to find him next week. Maybe I can apologise then.
May 10th
Sora was at school again, but he's avoiding me. I caught up to him during recess and forced him to listen to me. I apologised and said we could still be friends and he began to cry, I didn't really know what to do so I patted his head and asked what was wrong. He said I was being to nice to a disgusting fag like him. That's what the bullies all call him, a fag. I said he wasn't disgusting and that there was no reason for him to think that there was something wrong with liking the same gender. He got up and hugged me, I don't like hugs.
So now Sora is acting just like before, always asking if I'm ok or if something is confusing at school. He's always offering me candy or chips, I think I'm developing a large appetite. I think I can protect Sora if anything tries to hurt him, just saying that gives me a bad feeling.
May 20th
Well that's the end of that...I think it came out alright