Author's Notes: Hey everyone, just so you know it will make a lot more sense if you read my other story, To break the cycle, first. It was suggested by qjs833 that I write this so here it goes, I must warn you all I will be taking liberties with both canon and timeline. As always I own nothing.
The beginning is always today-Mary Shelley
Zokar ran through the palace. He knew that he really shouldn't, at thirteen it was considered very undignified for a prince of the Fire Nation to conduct himself in such a way but he had always had a bit of a wild side to him, in his own opinion it was necessary. His father, Fire Lord Zuko, usually gave off the impression that he was attending a funeral. His mother, Fire Lady Mai, was if anything worse, Zokar was sure that if she smiled more than once a month her face would rupture. Akemi, his older sister, well, at fourteen she could be fun when she wanted to be but she had always been more dignified than Zokar and recently she had become more aware of the fact that one day she would be Fire Lord and had started to conduct herself accordingly.
That thought made Zokar pause and felt an old and unpleasant feeling come over him. Yes, she would be Fire Lord and not him. It was not that he resented her for getting the crown and not him, not really. It was just that he was not entirely sure where it left him. During the war the children of the Fire Lord usually became generals and admirals but the war had been over since before his birth. So really, apart from waiting around in case something happened to Akemi before she had children of her own, the most that he had to look forward to was to be sent as an ambassador to events that she herself was unable to attend. If truth be told that was part of the reason that he acted out as much as he did, despite his exalted birth he really had nothing to look forward to, he would serve his sister and by extension the Fire Nation but he would always be in her shadow. He knew it was wrong, he had always been taught that the war had been wrong and he believed it, but at times he wished that he had lived during the war.
He had never told this to anyone and he hardly dared to say it to himself but it was true. He was sure it had been terrible but it would have been a chance to see what he could do. At times, in this era of peace, he felt superfluous, even his name made him feel that way at times. He knew all the stories, how he had been named for his uncle Zokar, who had died at the end of the war. Famed for being the only non-bender ever born to the royal family he had been seen as one of the greatest generals of the nation. When he was younger he had been confused by his name, according to the history that he learned at the Royal Academy for Boys the first Zokar had been a half-wild savage who had waged war only so he could indulge in his blood-lust but others had said differently.
Father would always grow quite when the subject came up, it seemed to trouble him to speak of his dead brother. While he would never go into great detail he would simply say that his namesake had been far more complicated than what history said and that Zokar had been a very brave and honorable man who had fought for what he had believed in. He would always say that he would explain more when he was older, even though he would never go into detail about what exact what there was to explain.
Mother was the same way, only more so. She did not seem as effected by the memory of the first Zokar but she was still reluctant to speak of him. Though Zokar felt that she felt that she felt that it was Father's job to tell him about the person he was named for.
He did not bring up the subject around Grandmother as it seemed to upset her. She would get a sad expression on her face and seem to be fighting back tears. Father once told him that she still mourned Zokar, whom she had never been close to, a fact that she clearly regretted and which still caused her pain.
Lady Oriole and Oma had been more willing to talk about him. The picture that they painted was of someone who had been strong and terrifying but also strongly kind as well, which seemed to contradict the image painted by the history books. Strangely they had also said something else, they both said that they thought that he had been a lonely person.
The person most willing to talk about him had been Aunt Azula. Mother and Father had been extremely reluctant at first to let Zokar and Akemi spend time with their aunt for a long time. Eventually they allowed them to visit her at her home on the White Sand Islands but only with an escort to ensure she did not hurt them or, Zokar suspected, turn them against their parents. If she ever did Zokar never noticed.
She was more willing to talk about his name-sake than any of the others were and she seemed to have a far more uncomplicated opinion of her deceased brother. She would talk about the first Zokar, his victories and his courage. But also talked about other aspects as well, how he had been the most loyal to his country and willing to endure any hardship and his loyalty towards those around him. She also said that he had saved her, from herself, she would always go quite here and refuse to go on.
There was one point that everyone seemed to dance around. While people would talk about what he did no one would talk about why he did it. He was not sure if they were unwilling to do so or did not know themselves. But one thing was clear, there was a lot more to his uncle than what was in the history books. This caused Zokar some unease, he felt that by naming him after this mysterious and controversial figure things were expected of him.
He felt that people were looking to him to do…something but he did not know what that something was. While he did not constantly think about all the time it did at times caused him to feel frustrated, he was supposed to do great things but he did not know how he was supposed to do so. There was also something else, something he had never told anyone. He had seen his uncle's helmet in the family shrine and he had also seen his father ask forgiveness of it. Zokar did not know what forgiveness was being asked for but it filled him with a sense of unease. He sometimes, though he tried to keep himself from doing so, found himself wondering if Father saw him as him or as a younger version of his dead brother and try to undo whatever it was that had caused the gulf between them.
That was why he acted out at times. He was acting out of frustration, both at what he saw as his own irrelevance and the fear that his father saw him more as a fill in for his uncle rather than as his child. He did not know what the first Zokar had wanted but he knew what he wanted. He wanted a chance to prove he was his own person.
Author's Notes: Hello everyone, I hope you liked it and if you haven't already I urge you to read "To break the cycle" as it will help explain things better. Will try to update soon. Till then please pray for the American taken in the Sudan, the poor and sick, persecuted Christians and all who need prayer. Bye and may Jesus bless you all.