A New Life
Summary: Ardarume, the half-human (yes, you read that right) daughter of first emissary Elenwen is desperate to live her own life, away from her control freak mother. She takes her chance to escape during the dragon attack on Helgen. Finally free, she begins to forge her own path through life…a path her mother would surely have never approved of.
Rating: M for mentions of rape and torture and the occasional use of strong language
Disclaimer: I own nothing and am making no money from this
Chapter One: An Unexpected Escape
Ardarume rode glumly behind her mother, not bothering to try and engage the woman in conversation; it would be futile anyway she was too busy to bother with her daughter. That was the story of her life, her mother was a busy and important woman in the Aldmeri Dominion, she didn't have time to deal with Ardarume's childish concerns and her father had never been around. Her mother had forbidden her from asking about him anytime she tried, she was given some loathsome chore (like mucking out the stables) to do and a lecture on not sticking her nose where it didn't belong.
Ardarume knew absolutely nothing about her father, not even his name. When she was little she had dreamed of him coming and taking her away to a home where people actually cared about her, but it never happened...sometimes Ardarume wondered if he even knew that she existed or maybe he had died before she was born, she didn't know and Elenwen had her way, Ardarume never would.
Frankly though, lectures had long since ceased to have any effect on Ardarume. She got them every time she did something that Elenwen deemed improper for a well-bred altmer lady to do…which was a lot. Only once had she made the mistake of bringing up the fact that Elenwen had been disgraced and sent to Skyrim (which was the middle of nowhere as far as the Thalmor were concerned) when Ardarume was very little and Elenwen had responded by casting a lighting spell on her and telling her what an ungrateful little wretch she was. That was the only time Elenwen had ever struck her either physically or magically and the woman had actually apologized afterward but it had still left a firm impression.
She was accompanying her mother on this trip against her will, she didn't really want to see Ulfric and his men executed. It was bad enough having to listen to the screams of some of the prisoners being tortured downstairs. Her mother however had ordered it, children couldn't be trusted to look after themselves and even though Ardarume was now twenty nine her mother still viewed her as a child. By human standards Ardarume was well into adulthood but altmer lived much longer than humans and thus matured later, Ardarume still hated being treated like a child when she felt very much like an adult. Since most members of the relatively small embassy delegation were going to the execution (except for the servants and a few guards, of course) that meant that Ardarume had to accompany her mother as well.
When they arrived at Helgen, they were greeted by General Tullius
"Glad you were able to make it Ambassador" he said...most people watching knew that statement to be a lie but appearances had to be kept up for diplomacy's sake
"Thank you for the invitation, General" Elenwen replied formally "You remember third emissary Rulinduil, of course" as she gestured toward the man next to her
"Yes, nice to see you again." Tullius said a bit too stiffly
"And have you met my daughter, Ardarume?" Elenwen added gesturing to her daughter
"No, I don't believe I've had the pleasure" Tullius replied as he turned his gaze to the young elf on Elenwen's other side.
'Of course not' Ardarume thought 'mother thinks that children should sit in the corner and do nothing but study while the adults work'
"Sadly that is correct; it's a pleasure to finally meet you General Tullius." Ardarume said politely and she held her hand out for the General to shake.
Elenwen's eyes flashed for just a second at that, shaking hands was a human custom not a mer one. Ardarume didn't understand the resistance that so many of the Thalmor (her mother especially) had at following Nord customs regarding basic courtesy while in Skyrim. Really showing them common courtesy was only polite. Of course many Thalmor didn't believe in being polite to 'inferior beings'. Her tutors had tried very hard to drill into her; the idea that altmer were superior to all other races but it had never made sense to her…it was one of the many things that Elenwen despaired of in her daughter.
After just a slight bit of hesitation (he'd never had a Thalmor offer to shake his hand before) Tullius took her small hand into his much larger one.
As they shook Ardarume smiled slightly "Your reputation precedes you general, it's nice to finally have a face to go with your name."
"Normally this is where I tell you the same thing but that would be a lie since I didn't even know that your mother had a daughter." Tullius told her "I mean no offense when I say that" and then he released her hand
"None taken, I don't leave the embassy very often; my mother is quite protective of me." Ardarume assured him. That was a polite way of putting…more polite than accurate.
"That's understandable." Tullius said "These are dangerous times, and it's every parent's desire to keep their children out of danger. Hopefully once Ulfric and his followers have been dealt with, things will calm down and you will be able to get out more."
"That would be nice." Ardarume responded sincerely…well that part about being able to get out of the embassy would be nice anyway.
"We'll see what develops" Elenwen said and shot her daughter a look that told her quite clearly 'you've said too much already, now be quiet and let the grownups talk'
They briefly discussed the details of the execution and where the Thalmor delegation was to be positioned while they were talking the prisoners that were to be executed arrived.
Ardarume found her gaze strangely fixed on the gagged man…she didn't know who he was but for some reason seeing him struck a chord deep inside her. She forgot herself and stared at the man, trying to figure out why he was making her feel so odd. Quickly he sensed her gaze and examined her in turn.
She wasn't certain how long she and the human stared at each other across the square but it was ended when she heard her mother's voice snap
"Yes mother?" she asked turning to Elenwen
"Why did you say those things to the General?" Her mother demanded
Ardarume blinked, she didn't see anything wrong with what she said to him "I was only making a bit of polite conversation"
"That's MY job" Elenwen told her "I'm the ambassador, you are the ambassador's daughter, your job is to sit there, look pretty and NEVER do anything to embarrass me in public."
"How did I embarrass you?" Ardarume asked, her mother was impossible to please, she knew that by now, it was still extremely annoying though
Elenwen decided not to dignify that asinine question with an answer.
Just then one of the soldiers began calling out names of a list
"Ulfric Stormcloak, jarl of Windhelm"
Ardarume let out a tiny gasp as she realized the man she'd been staring at was Ulfric himself. To her surprise he looked at her once more very briefly before walking across the square. Once all the prisoners had been gathered the priestess began giving them their last rites…although Ardarume couldn't help but think that the priestess had overly emphasized the word eight.
She knew of course, that the Thalmor believed that Talos was a false god but honestly Ardarume really couldn't care less. She wasn't certain that any gods existed quite frankly. She didn't understand why the Thalmor cared so much about stamping out the worship of Talos; she knew he had conquered the first Aldmeri Dominion but that was centuries ago, why couldn't they just let it go? Besides, its' not like they were hurting anyone by worshiping Talos, what was the harm? Ardarume personally did not worship any gods, she left them alone and they left her alone, it seemed to work out well enough.
While she had been thinking, a man tried to run and had been immediately shot to death. Then another man went up to the executioner
"My ancestors are smiling at me imperials" the man declared
'Really?" Ardarume wondered 'how do you know that?'
"Can you say the same?" he continued but no one answered him
The executioner then cut his head off.
Shortly afterward they heard a strange unidentifiable roar.
"What was that noise?" Someone asked
"Never mind keep going" another voice ordered "bring the next prisoner forward."
"I said next prisoner" the previous voice demanded impatiently
Someone, Ardarume had no idea who he was, stepped forward and put his head on the chopping block.
Suddenly a large black creature swooped into view and landed on top of a large tower near the chopping block.
It opened its' mouth and a blast of fire came out burning the executioner alive and injuring the prisoner.
At this Ardarume didn't think, she just acted she ran quickly towards the injured man
Her mother shouted at her to come back but was cut off when the creature let loose another blast of flame.
Ardarume had inherited her mother's talent for magic but not her love for the destruction school, she would much rather heal a person then hurt them and so her favorite school of magic was restoration.
She bent down and cast a strong healing spell on him to mend his wounds.
"Hey" a male voice called to them "This way, hurry!"
Instinctively both of them raced toward the man and into the tower.
There were two additional wounded men in the tower along with two other men who were not wounded. One of those not wounded was Ulfric but Ardarume ignored him and raced over to the two who needed her healing magic and began tending their wounds.
"Jarl Ulfric was the really a dragon like in the old legends?!" the unwounded man who had not called them in asked
"Legends don't burn down villages." Ulfric said
"What's that elf bitch doing here?!" the same man from earlier demanded
"Healing your wounded comrades you ungrateful asshole" Ardarume "now leave me alone so I can work."
The idiot opened his mouth but before he could speak another man spoke from higher up on the staircase
"The stairway's been blocked, our only way out is to jump through this window." Then suiting his own words, he jumped.
Slowly the other men began to follow. Ulfric waited until Ardarume had finished healing his two wounded soldiers
"Come on boys, we're not going to Sovenguarde today." Ulfric told them encouragingly
Ardarume had no idea where or what Sovenguarde was but for once in her life she held her tongue and did not ask, contrary to what her mother believed she WAS capable of that and knew full well that there were some times and places that asking questions was not a good idea and that when there was a powerful and vicious monster trying to kill you was one of those.
Ardarume and Ulfric wound up being the last to jump out of the tower only to find that they were not able to follow the others because a bunch of burning wood had fallen and blocked their path, luckily for them there was another way out of the building.
"I don't suppose you know a way out of this town?" Ardarume asked Ulfric after they had run out of the building and temporarily taken cover under a partially fallen over pile of what had been stone walls
"No, I've only passed through here a few times." Ulfric told her
"Figures" Ardarume muttered softly then louder she added "The creature seems to be having trouble getting its' fire close to the wall, we should be relatively safe if we stay alongside it."
"It's a dragon-"Ulfric began but Ardarume cut him off
"I don't care what in Oblivion it is, let's just get AWAY from it!" Ardarume responded exasperatedly
Ulfric didn't say it out loud but he knew she had a point.
The two of them ran along the wall…surprisingly enough the few imperials they met didn't bother with them…Ardarume could only guess that they were too busy dealing with the dragon and they didn't recognize Ulfric for who he was. Belated she thought that her presence might be helping with that, no one would ever expect the rebel leader famed for his hatred of the Thalmor would be willingly anywhere near one of said Thalmor without trying to kill them.
Then they came to a small section of the wall that was riddled with cracks, in some places it was breaking apart already.
"This section of the wall looks very weak maybe I can-"then she began to push on it but the rocks didn't budge
"Move" Ulfric ordered
She did and began to ask "What are you-"
"FUS RO DAH" Ulfric shouted, luckily for them the dragon was on the other side of the town and thus not able to hear him over all the other noise going on
Ardarume gasped in shock, she'd heard rumors that Ulfric's voice had some sort of strange power but she had always dismissed them as hearsay.
Several bits of rock flew away from the wall, creating a hole…that was not big enough for them to go through
Ulfric took a brief moment to gather his breath again "FUS RO DAH" he shouted again, more stone bits flew away creating a whole that was barely big enough for the pair to squeeze through…one at a time
"Ladies and kids first" Ulfric said
"I'm NOT a kid" Ardarume glared at him
"You ARE a lady, now go" Ulfric responded
Ardarume gave him one last glare before she squeezed through the hole with Ulfric following close behind.
They then ran through the woods until Helgen and the dragon were safely out of sight.
"Okay Thalmor, this is where I leave you." Ulfric told her
"I'm not Thalmor" Ardarume snapped
"Really? Ulfric asked with a raised eyebrow "You were watching the execution with them and you are dressed in Thalmor robes."
"That was NOT my choice. I've never HAD a choice. I was born into the Thalmor and unable to escape until now." Ardarume didn't understand WHY she was telling Ulfric this, he was basically a stranger to her but she continued "Now that I am FINALLY free and away from my mother, I am NEVER going back. I'd rather die out here."
"Your mother?" Ulfric asked
"Elenwen" Ardarume stated
"…I pity you; of course I'd pity anyone who had to grow up with that bitch. You must have had one hell of a childhood." Ulfric said
Ardarume blinked "you PITY me?! I expected you to insult me, call me names or even spit on me. I know what my mother did to you" Pity was one of the last things she had ever expected to get from Ulfric Stormcloak. Most of the Nords she encountered hated her even if they didn't know who her mother was. Elenwen had only let her leave the embassy when she was accompanied by at least two Thalmor guards. Their presence alone led people to assume she was Thalmor and that was all the reason they needed to hate her guts. Yet Ulfric Stormcloak who had very good reason to hate her mother and her by extension pitied her…it made no sense to Ardarume. Being pitied may have been a new experience for Ardarume but it was NOT a welcome one, she didn't need nor want anyone's pity
"I don't know how things work in the Thalmor and I don't care too, but we Nords don't punish children for the crimes their parents committed." Ulfric told her "Good day to you." then he walked away leaving Ardarume alone in the woods with her thoughts.
Said thoughts were becoming slightly panicky as she realized she had no idea where she was, no money...no nothing. 'Ok, don't panic' she told herself 'there's got to be a road around here somewhere, just find it and follow it to civilization. Then…figure out something from there.' It seemed like the only plan she had so she began to move.
Elenwen didn't know how long she and her compatriots had been hiding in their makeshift shelter but she did know that the attack didn't end until dusk.
When they emerged they saw a few imperials roaming around shifting through the rumble looking for survivors. To her disappointment, General Tullius was among them, he seemed a bit worse for the wear but he would definitely live to fight another day.
"General" she greeted him
"Ah, ambassador, good to see you made it through alright." Tullius said politely
Although he and Elenwen both knew he didn't mean it.
"Has there been any sign of my daughter?" she asked
"She's not with you?" He responded
Elenwen wanted to say 'of course not stupid, I wouldn't be asking about her if she was' but that would not be very diplomatic so what she said instead was "No, we got separated during the attack"
"Well, to my knowledge no one has seen any sign of her so maybe she got out on her own and she'll be waiting for you when you get back to the embassy." Tullius said
"Perhaps" Elenwen replied. She didn't believe that though…she couldn't help but think that her daughter was dead. To her own surprise, she felt sad. She had never liked Ardarume; the brat was such a disappointment. She made no effort to act like a proper Altmer lady, if Elenwen had let her; she would probably have spent her childhood rolling around in the dirt like an uncivilized human brat. Nor did she understand the proper order of things. Elves were the oldest and wisest race in Tamriel so it was only natural that they should rule things. Elders always guided the group, whether it was a family or a village.
Unfortunately she had inherited her father's defiant streak. Every time Elenwen or her tutors tried to sit her down and patiently explain the way things worked to her, she refused to listen. Really she should be glad that the irritating brat was finally out of her life…not that she had ever been a very big part of it to begin with.
The real reason for that was because every time Elenwen looked at Ardarume, she was reminded of her shame, the reason WHY she had been sent to one of the absolute worst posts the Thalmor had. Truthfully, she should be thankful to even be alive, most elves that had disgraced themselves the way that she had would have been killed on the spot but her status as one of the best integrators in the Dominion AND a high class elf from a highly respected family prevented that. Too many people would ask unwanted questions, and if word of what she had done ever got out, the public scandal would be a nightmare. So she had been packed up and shipped off to the middle of nowhere, out of sight out of mind.
It wasn't Aradume's fault, all the girl had done was be born, it WAS Elenwen's actions that led to her own downfall, she was willing to admit that. However Ardarume had inherited HIS eyes, eyes that accused her, defied her, and JUDGED her…until she'd finally broken him. She had taken a great deal of pleasure in that, seeing that arrogant human FINALLY put in his proper place, knowing who his masters were. Everything had gone exactly according to plan…everything except Ardarume. Elenwen was NEVER supposed to end up pregnant from it, she'd taken every precaution she could think of and yet somehow she'd still ended up with child. Even worse someone else had found out and reported it before she was able to abort it. She would have gotten rid of it but she'd been ordered NOT to. It was strange, mixed children were usually aborted before they were even born or killed immediately after birth; they couldn't be allowed to contaminate the rest of the Altmer.
Ardarume had been allowed to live, only to serve as a reminder to Elenwen, a living symbol of how low she had fallen. However the girl's reprieve would last only so long as she was useful. Elenwen's orders had been that if Ardarume had not proven herself worthy by her thirtieth birthday then she was to kill her…preferably in a way that made it look accidental. So really this WAS a good thing, the dragon had not only rescued Ulfric from execution but had killed her half breed daughter so she wouldn't have too. After all no one could accuse her of having her daughter killed by a dragon now could they? Logically, she had every reason to feel glad or at least relieved so WHY did she feel grief instead?
Tullius' voice snapped her out of her thoughts
"If you want to you can set up camp here tonight-"he was saying
"No thank you general" Elenwen stated, she had no intention of sticking around if that creature showed up again…besides they had planned on staying at the inn overnight, they were not equipped to set up camp as the general put it. No, they had passed through Riverwood on the way from Solitude, there was an inn there. They would stay at that inn for the night and then return to Solitude the next day. "In light of recent events, I believe it would be best if we returned to the embassy as soon as possible."
"Very well" Tullius said agreeably, the less time he had to spend playing nice with the Thalmor, the better so far as he was concerned "If we find your daughter, we'll let you know."
"Thank you general…if she IS among the dead; please send her body to the embassy so we can give her a proper burial." Elenwen said sadly
To her shock…and slight disgust, Tullius placed a hand on her shoulder…attempting to offer some comfort, though quite frankly she would be MORE comfortable if he would remove his hand…she didn't like being touched especially not by humans.
"Don't give up hope, we've searched most of the town and not found her so its' likely she's out there, making her own way home." He told her
"Is that supposed to make me feel better, general?" Elenwen asked "As you said these are dangerous times, too dangerous for children to be running around Skyrim alone...and unprotected"
"Anybody who can survive what happened here today has a pretty good shot at surviving anything else Skyrim can throw at them." Tullius responded
"We've got a live one here!" a male voice shouted
Both Tullius and Elenwen turned to look. They watched as male imperial soldier was pulled from a pile of rubble, he was severely wounded and clearly needed medical attention very badly.
Elenwen felt almost cheated somehow because it wasn't Ardarume. "You seem to have the situation here well in hand, so if you don't mind my people will take our leave and begin our trip back to the embassy."
"That's fine with me" Tullius said "safe travels to you"
Elenwen nodded and then she and her comrades began readying themselves for the trip back.
Ardarume had managed to make it to the Sleeping Giant Inn in Riverwood and worked out a deal with the innkeeper…technically he was NOT the innkeeper but since she was going to be away for a few days he was in charge of running the inn temporarily. Ardarume didn't have any money so she couldn't pay him but he had agreed to let her do several chores around the inn, in exchange for room and board for the night. She had already obliged by cooking dinner for the rest of the patrons and was cleaning the rooms while they ate, she'd be able to eat her fill when she was finished.
Normally high born Altmer ladies were NOT supposed to cook their own food (such work was beneath them) but Ardarume hated cooking and Elenwen knew it, therefore she often punished her daughter by having her assist Tsvani in the kitchen. As a result Ardarume (unlike many Thalmor higher ups including her mother) knew how to cook.
She was working on the last room when she heard a familiar and unwelcome voice say "We need a dozen beds for the night."
Ardarume froze; no she couldn't be here, not now! She turned to look toward the counter and sure enough her mother was standing there, Ardarume's only good fortune was that her mother's attention was focused on the cook and not her.
Ardarume quickly collapsed to the floor and rolled into a corner…out of sight from the door. Unfortunately the noise drew Elenwen's attention
"What was that?" she asked and began to head toward the room Ardarume was hiding in.
On instinct Orgnar 'accidentally' knocked an empty mug off the counter. Previously he had been thanking his lucky stars that Delphine having somehow heard about the capture of Ulfric Stormcloak had correctly deduced that the Thalmor would come through Riverwood on their way to Helgen and so had left town for a few days…he didn't know where she was and he didn't want to, the less he knew the safer he felt. Anyway, now he was wondering if he shouldn't be cursing instead…it seemed another Thalmor fugitive was trying to hide here…and dammit he had to at least TRY to help them, he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't
Elenwen turned to look at him
"That was me…I'm a bit clumsy" Orgnar said sheepishly
Elenwen looked at him suspiciously "like I was saying, we will need a dozen beds for the night along with meals for all of us. We are of course willing to pay a good price-"
"We don't have that many beds" Orgnar told her
"You have bedrolls don't you?" Elenwen asked with a raised eyebrow, in her experience every inn in Skyrim had those, just in case they got more business than was usual.
"Of course" Orgnar admitted
"Then we will take some of those for the night in addition to beds. Now I will take that room there" Elenwen then pointed at the room she had been heading toward earlier, still intending to look for the source of the strange noise. "Rulindil and Ondolemar will be taking the room across the hall and the rest of you will share the final room and find spaces where you can."
"You can't have that room" Orgnar said too quickly
"Why not?" Elenwen asked her tone deceptively mild "You don't seem to have any other guests"
It was true…ever since the war started business had slowed to almost nothing. Many of the locals came to the inn because it was the only place to drink and hang out after a long day's work…which was the only reason why it was still in business.
"Because…the guest who had it last only just checked out, it hasn't been fully cleaned yet" Orgnar responded
"Well, like I said we also need food, so you can finish cleaning the room while we eat, problem solved." Elenwen declared
Orgnar to his chagrin could not think of an objection to her idea…there was plenty of food on the table. The elf girl had gone all out and made WAAY too much food, more than the patrons could have possibly eaten…from what he'd heard it tasted better too.
"…Ok, I suppose that would be workable" he said grudgingly
"Excellent, how much will it all cost?" Elenwen asked
"1,200 septims" Orgnar said, deliberately inflating the price…he hoped that the unreasonably high price would make the Thalmor decide to leave
"Very well" Elenwen agreed not wanting to argue and hoping that if she paid the outrageous price now, he might willing to pass information to the Thalmor in the future, it had worked before with other innkeepers. Innkeepers were great sources of information and information was always highly useful. She then handed him 600 septims "You get half now and half when we leave tomorrow"
"Fine" Orgnar said and then headed into the other room while Elenwen headed to a nearby table to eat
Orgnar deliberately closed the door behind him and then addressed the girl "running from the Thalmor are we?"
Ardarume looked up, her eyes filled with panic
"Don't worry, I'm not going to turn you in" he assured her "in fact I'm going to hide you."
Ardarume said nothing, she couldn't believe her luck
Orgnar went over to the wardrobe and moved the back panel to reveal a hidden door
Ardarume's eyes widen in surprise, whoever had made the wardrobe had done a very good job, one would be hard pressed to notice that the back was false if they didn't already know.
"Follow me" Orgnar ordered
Ardarume did so…it wasn't like she had any better options
He led her down a small staircase and into a large chamber; it had all kinds of weapons, books, maps, and even a nice bed.
"Help yourself to what you need, there should be plenty of food stored in the barrels and there's some armor in the chest over there." Orgnar knew that Delphine would probably skin him for this later but the kid clearly needed help, he couldn't let tell her no.
"Why do you have all this?!" Ardarume asked surely this kind of thing wasn't normal in Skyrim…was it?
"Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies" Orgnar responded "now, you should be safe if you stay down here for the night. I'll come and get you in the morning, once the elves… the other elves I mean" abruptly remembering that the girl he was helping was also an elf "have gone."
He then turned to leave
"Wait" Ardarume said
He turned his head and looked at her over his shoulder
"Not to seem ungrateful but…why are you helping me?" she asked him
"The Thalmor murdered my family for worshiping Talos" Orgnar said his voice was tight with pain "whatever they want, I oppose. It seems they want to get their hands on you, therefore I intend to make sure that doesn't happen."
"Thank you for your help and I'm sorry for your loss" Ardarume replied softly…really what else could she say to that
Orgnar nodded but did not reply verbally and then he walked away, closing up the wardrobe behind him.
After she finished her meal Elenwen closed the door to her room…well, it was hers for the night anyway. She knew full well that the human had been lying when he said that he had caused the noise, really had he honestly expected her to believe that stupid lie? He was obviously hiding something, most likely it was something unimportant, he was probably smuggling war contraband or something like that, but Elenwen decided to take the opportunity to try and ferret out his secret…one could never have enough blackmail material after all. Slowly, methodically she began her search.
AN: A couple of clarifications in case anyone is confused. Number one, the reasons why some of the human characters have been calling Ardarume kid when she's twenty nine is that I have made the assumption that elves have longer childhoods than humans because their overall life span is longer. Ardarume LOOKS like she's probably 16 or 17 by human standards hence the term kid.
Second, Ardarume IS an Altmer NOT a Breton. Cannon says that Bretons evolved from generations of interbreeding between humans and elves. Ardarume only has ONE human in her family tree (her father) and therefore does not have enough human ancestry to qualify her as a Breton. Cannon also establishes that when child is born to an interracial couple, the child is the same race as the mother, therefore since Elenwen is an Altmer that means Ardarume is as well, even though she has inherited a few traits from her father like the eyes Elenwen hates so much.
Lastly, YES it is possible for a woman to rape a man, it's not as common as the reverse...at least not according to the data I have seen on the subject, but those numbers must be taken with a grain of salt since most rapes go unreported and men are even less likely to report being raped than women. Rape is also just as psychologically damaging to men as it is to women...which of course, is why Elenwen did it, her prisoner wasn't breaking fast enough for her superiors under conventional methods (ie. physical torture) so she tried something else.
Hopefully that helps things make more sense...any other questions, feel free to PM me or ask in a review.