'Just because I have long hair doesn't mean I'm a girl.' I grumble aloud as I drag the unconscious body of yet another suitor across the stone tiles and stuff him in the closet. I never knew this frying pan would be so handy but over the years I've knocked out more men with this trusty weapon than anything else.
It's always the same with preened peacock elitist knights. Thinking that they can just swoop in and rescue me from the evil witch Gothel and that we'll live 'happily ever after'. Little do they know that my inner demons are far more damaging than Gothel ever had been.
Yes, you heard right, I used the past tense. Gothel hasn't visited this tower in a long time and I'm guessing she withered away like the old prune she was and good riddance to her as well.
No, I'm not being kept in this tower by some outside force but instead the forces within. Fear. After eighteen years of wanting to see those glowing lights, I eventually gave up and now, at age twenty two, I have a far greater desire. Freedom. But not from this tower.
I let out a heavy, disconsolate sigh as I adjust the bindings around my chest and wrap fresh bandages around it. In a sudden fit of rage I punch a paint flecked wall and fall to the floor.
I'm sick of it. I'm sick of them mocking me, judging me, being ignorant fools. I know I need help but no one understands. How could they? I barely understand myself.
I just know in my heart and my mind that I'm not a girl, no matter how much the 'evidence' points to the contrary. I undress my rescuers and wear their clothes whenever possible and I bind to make sure certain 'assets' are never visible beneath the baggy folds.
But it doesn't seem to make the slightest bit of difference. They still see me as a princess no matter what I do. They still comment on my 'rosy cheeks' and 'stunning eyelashes' and it makes me want to weep.
Today is different however because that last knight was the final straw. I'm going to get rid of the noticeable evidence once and for all, even if it kills me in the process. I'd already decided that it was to be done tonight. No sooner, no later. Why, you ask? Well, because...
Wait. Rustling. I can hear rustling down there. Oh goodie, another pretentious peacock for me to pluck. I might as well have fun while I still can. This one would get 'special treatment'...
I lifted myself off of the ground and waited for the inevitable 'let down your hair' speech. It never came. Instead, the rustling noise intensified then transformed into a clunk clunk clunk sound. Unbelievable. This one was trying to scale the tower without my help. Good luck with that, mister.
Minutes passed and they still had not reached the top of my tower. This is getting beyond ridiculous now.
So, with an irritated hair flick, my golden tresses fell out of the window thus making a rope this fool could climb.
"Hey, you down there! Grab on! I'll pull you up." I said, through gritted teeth.
"Listen! If you're that desperate to rescue me then accept my help and be hasty."
A muffled inarticulate sound greeted this. Good. Progress.
One last try.
"I'm waiting ser knight, please hurry, I've been so lonely up here for all of these years..." I said, smiling seductively to myself.
That must have struck a chord because I could suddenly feel something tugging at my hair. Well then.
"Hold on tight!" I shouted as I slowly but surely pulled the knight up into my tower.
As I was pulling, all I could think of was how light this one felt compared to the rest and I soon discovered why. He was not as he first appeared to be.
I was expecting him to be muscular with more brawn than brains so I was surprised when I saw him. He was wearing a full suit of armour so I couldn't make out his face or figure, yet he looked sleek even so.
I couldn't quite place it but there was something off about the armour, not only was it made of a thin metal but there were flowery engravings etched into it with precious jewels placed in the centre of the flowery design. I must admit that it looked stunning.
However, it made me suspicious since none of my previous suitors had ever worn attire like this. They were usually common knights who wanted to elevate in status by 'saving' a princess who then would be bound to marriage. This person was different. They must have come from royalty in one kingdom or another. I'm unsure.
One thing I do know, however, is that their high status isn't going to save them here. After all, this is my domain and I happen to intensely detest intruders.
Getting a firm grip on my trusty frying pan, I looked at the knight from top to toe and once again fell in awe of his attire.
"Name?" I asked monotonously.
"Reason for being here?"
I sighed heavily and walked towards them. They stayed still. I drew closer and closer but they still hadn't moved even a minuscule amount.
"Answer my questions."
I was getting angry now and in a fit of rage, flung the frying pan at their head.
Somehow, he had evaded the attack and the frying pan had flown into my neatly stacked pile of dishes, causing them to shatter. Great.
While I was distracted, he grabbed me by my arm and pushed me up against the wall.
"What do you want? My hair? Or my social status?"
"Neither." The knight stated as they removed their helmet.
I inhaled sharply as I watched the copper hair flow down their back. This knight is...female?