AN: Because I had to. If you understand and know ALL the characters and actors, all the better, but you don't need to to understand the story. Just realize that the supernatural and such is REAL in this version of the Psych universe. Takes place in season 7 of Psych, before Juliet finds out Shawn isn't a real psychic. AU, remember, if you find any 'mistakes'.

Shawn's Guide to the real Supernatural

Shawn impatiently tapped the Chief's desk, drumming on a pineapple that had mysteriously appeared. The Chief calls him down for something really important and then ends up being late? Really? Shawn sighed and stood up.

Gus was down the hall flirting with one of the newest female officers, an attractive older woman with mussed dark hair and dark eyes with circles under them. If Shawn wasn't with Jules, he definitely would have made a move before Gus. She really was attractive despite the unkempt look and age.

Apparently the woman was here because she was a transfer. She had been a sheriff where she had worked before, but had been relocated to become a detective. Shawn guessed the tears were because her brother or friend had been attacked and killed by an unknown woodland beast, possibly a bear or a wolf, Shawn guessed, from seeing Woody's first pictures of the body. The victim's entire corpse had been ripped to shreds by something with HUGE claws. Not just bear-huge. Something-else huge.

She had been immediately removed from duty the minute her brother was carted into the morgue with the odd wounds. She was very upset and had demanded the Chief and Head Detective Lassie to be on the case to find her brother's killer. She had, of course, been denied.

Shawn glanced around for the Chief again and headed toward Gus when he realized she was nowhere in sight. He pushed Gus away from the woman.

"Hi. Shawn Spencer. Local psychic detective. As you must know by now. I know you've only been here a few days, but my reputation precedes me! I will find out who killed your brother, I promise!" He held out his hand to her.

She glanced at it, with a mildly disgusted look on her face. "He was a dear friend who convinced me to transfer here. He wasn't my brother. And you, sir, are not a real psychic. I have met psychics. I have met witches and mystics. You are not one of them. So please, do not further insult my intelligence by pretending." She scoffed and turned her head away, refusing to look at Shawn.

"Uhm...I just...I AM a real psychic. The entire police department can vouch for me! Really! I'm totally legit. Here, give me your palm. I'll read you." The woman glanced up, gave a smile that was more akin to a smirk and held out her calloused palm.

Shawn carefully ran his eyes over the woman. She was still wearing her police outfit, but it was mussed and looked as if she'd slept in it. She was also much younger than he'd first assumed. Stress, it seemed, had aged her prematurely. She was also in love. Her eyes could tell Shawn that much, easily. He'd seen the faces of people so deeply in love they couldn't hide it. Was it her co-worker that she had fallen in love with? Shawn wasn't able to immediately tell.

"You, ma'am-" Shawn began, but was interrupted by the woman.

"Do not call me ma'am. My name is Detective Jody Mills. Or will be, as soon as they can figure out what happened to my co-worker and give me my badge back. If you will leave me alone, I'm waiting for my agents." She waved a hand dismissively.

"Agents? What agents? I didn't know no agents were coming here? What kind? Like, CIA?" This from Gus, who was apparently excited about CIA agents making an appearance.

"FBI. Go. I have no time for liars like you." Her dark stare, unwavering, just like a detective, convinced them to leave. They both headed back to the Chief's office. Vick was nowhere to be found yet.

"Gus. That detective. She totally knows. What are we gonna do? She's going to rat us out!"

"Dude, she's one detective. She doesn't know. She'd have to find concrete evidence, such as an actual REAL psychic, which we know don't exist, to prove you're a fake. Shh, here comes the Chief. looks like FBI agents, and a REALLY hot blind chick." Gus ran a hand over his bald head and straightened his shirt, even though the woman with the dark glasses obviously could not see due to the walking cane she used.

The trio entered the office. Chief Vick sat down at her desk, smiling placidly at everyone present. To Shawn's delight, Lassie was not here. It also meant that his Jules wasn't here either, but he supposed it was a fair trade.

The Chief took a seat at her desk and motioned for the agents and the blind woman to do the same. The shorter agent, with a strong face and dark, slightly spiked hair declined and asked, "Chief, is there any way we can see the body? Like, right now? We're kind of in a hurry."

The Chief frowned at the agents. "I understand that, somehow, a wolf attack is a government matter, but please, at least listen to me before making requests. I would like to introduce our psychic, Shawn Spencer, and his partner, Burton Guster."

The blind woman's gaze seemed to sweep over Shawn and penetrate his soul, despite her having no eyes to do so with. She smiled at him. She was gorgeous, Shawn noticed. Thick black curls tumbled around her perfect face and very, very nice body.

"You're staring, Mister Spencer." She removed her glasses, revealing stark white glass eyes. "I'm going to be your...psychic this case. These agents and the victim's co-worker are friends of mine. I will do everything in my power to solve this case." She smiled directly at Shawn. "I hope you will too."

Shawn bristled. The last part almost sounded like a challenge. If this blind lady wanted a challenge, she would get one.

"Ahem." The Chief interrupted. "These are agents Tyler and...really? Am I reading this right?" The Chief glanced again at the shorter one's badge. "Perry? Agents Tyler and Perry. Forgive me, it just seems...unusual." She smiled again.

The tall one nodded. "We get that all the time. People think it makes us jokes. Honestly, I think that's why our supervisor paired us together." He laughed. Agent Tyler's voice was deceptively soft for such an incredibly tall man, just as Agent Perry's voice was oddly deep for someone so short. Or perhaps he was just short compared to his partner. It looked that way, at least.

Shawn heard a creak in the door. Another individual had entered. This one looked odd indeed. He was wearing a filthy white, or rather, off-white, trenchcoat and had wide, nearly blank, blue eyes. They were so bright and so blue it almost hurt to look at them.

"Okay! Really! Chief, what is this all about? Who is this joker? Are FBI agents paling around with dirty hobos now? Look at his coat!"

"Shawn! This man is a part of the FBI team with agents Tyler and Perry. He just finished with a very dirty investigation. I suggest you treat him with more respect."

The trenchcoated man leaned forward and offered his hand. "I'm-that is-my name is, uh, Agent..." He trailed off and glanced at the shorter one, who was mouthing words to him. "Agent Shoe. Yes. Agent Shoe."

Shawn noticed that the short agent looked disgruntled and amused at the same time. "Really? Shoe? You know what, I don't believe any of you are FBI agents! And you, you are NOT a psychic. You're just some blind chick who likes people to think you're psychic so you can steal their hard-earned money and give a bad name to real psychics, like me!"

The woman smiled. Your secret is safe with me. Shawn heard a soft, feminine whisper in his head. He gave the woman an odd look.

"If Shawn will allow me, I would like to demonstrate just how psychic I really am. Who would like me to read them?" She held out her hands. Shawn almost snorted. A palm reader, of all things.

"Well, this will be interesting." Chief Vick held out her hands. The woman took them, turned them over several times, ran her fingers over the lines in Vick's palm and smiled, letting go. She sat back in her chair.

"You're married, you have a child, a daughter, you were only interim chief of police until awhile ago, you have blonde hair, pale skin, and are...very attractive for a wife and mother. You've been getting much better sleep lately since your child is older."

The woman tilted her head slightly. "I see she's preparing for her first day of school soon. Since I see she's six years old. You enrolled her in a private school because you feel public schools are too violent." The blind woman smiled, almost smugly, and stood up. She turned her head toward Shawn and leaned down.

"Do you believe me now? Do you see what a real psychic is?" Her breath was hot from her close whisper and Shawn couldn't help but be a little bit turned on. The woman stood and turned toward the Chief.

"By the way, my name is Pamela Barnes. I've been a psychic all my life. Unlike this young man, whose gift did not awaken until much later. I have far more experience. I would like the opportunity to...teach him, if you do not mind."

Chief Vick, still recovering from the shock of the amazing accuracy of the blind psychic simply nodded.

"Chief! I heard there were FBI agents here and I thought I could be-oh. They're here. Hello, Agents. I'm Detective Carlton Lassiter. Maybe you've heard of me." Lassie seemed to stand taller and attempt to puff out his chest a bit.

The short agent gave him an odd look and glanced at the taller one. "Uh, no. I have no clue who Carlton Lassiter is. I'm not entirely sure I want to know." This earned him a sharp kick from his partner, Agent Tyler. "Uh, that is, happy to work with you!" He gave Lassie a very fake smile and held out his hand. Lassie shook it with such happiness and vigor it was a wonder he didn't have a heart attack.

Shawn sighed. Lassie ALWAYS got way too excited when government agencies paid attention to him. However...Shawn noticed something in Lassie's face change when he shook hands with the agent. Almost...a darkness, of sorts. His delighted expression turned to one of confusion. He glared harshly at the short agent and shook his head, muttering something that sounded like 'not ready yet...not time' before asking to speak with the agents privately.

Chief Vick raised an eyebrow at Lassiter, but didn't deny him. She faked a cough. "Ahem. Agents. May I borrow your badges for a moment? I would like to...check credentials. We've had a rash of fake government agents lately, and it's just a quick check..."

"Oh! Of course!" Agent Tyler handed over his badge, gave Perry a kick when he wouldn't do so.

Vick looked the badges over and left the room, beckoning Shawn and Gus to leave as well and let Lassiter have his private chat with the agents, the mentally challenged trenchcoat man, and apparently the blind psychic. Shawn groaned.

"Hey, Chief, we wanted to eavesdrop. What the hell?"

"Just sit here, boys. I'll be back. I need to make sure of something." Chief Vick headed toward a vacant office and picked up the phone.

She dialed the number for the agents' supervisor.

"Hello? FBI. What do you need? I'm busy!" The gruff voice on the other end of the line snarled.

Chief Vick let out a deep sigh and covered her face. "Bobby Singer. You're kidding me, right? This is one of...of YOUR kind of crimes. Which is why you sent your 'agents'...Sam and Dean Winchester, right?"

"Damn Idjits! Told them they need to stop using rock aliases...someone would eventually catch on. Balls! Dammit, Karen. You want them to leave?" Bobby sounded really tired and angry.

"Bobby...have you been drinking? No, never mind. I'm not your nursemaid. We haven't even seen each other since John's death. If...if this is your type of crime, I suppose it is best to let John's sons have at it..." Karen trailed off, heart wrenching at the thought of John.

She remembered when he'd come to Santa Barbara and stayed, for a long time, on a case he couldn't seem to solve. She remembered their one night together, how it felt in John's arms, what a tender lover such a tough, gruff, sarcastic man could be. That was when she knew she was truly in love with John, with all her heart.

Now...his son's, by his real true love, Mary, were here. She had known John would always love Mary, but it didn't matter. She would try to help his sons as if they were the ones she had wanted with John so long ago.

"Bobby...thank you. And thank you for sending Sam and Dean. It's more than I could have hoped for. Less people will die because of...of you, and John." She heard the tears in her own voice, unable to stop them.

" lady is there too. Jody. Your new detective. I've loved her since she helped me a few years ago. I had to convince her to go to Santa Barbara. It needs people like her. People who know what the real world is like. Take care of her, Karen. Tell her I'll be there when I'm done."

There was a click and the line went dead.

Karen shook her head and put it in her hands. Bobby...John...his sons. She cried, for a long time, in that lonely vacant office. She felt a fresh wave of tears as she had forgotten to ask who the man in the trenchcoat was. Maybe one of John's illegitimate sons. Oh, John...why did you have to die?

Please R/R! Grammar issues don't bother me. I write fanfics, not books.