Dear reader,

A few years ago I was approached by a lady on the street. Glancing nervously at Edward as he stood next to me, she told me that she was an author. Not understanding her motives for telling me this, I said that was very nice. She leaned in close to the two of us and apologized, "Don't worry, I KNOW." Glancing at Edward for help, he ticked his eyes to the left in the universal sign for "let's ditch this crazy." She reached out and grabbed his pale arm, "You don't have to hide. I want to write about your kind, about you, maybe?" We didn't believe her. Edward and his fellow vampires had not worked this hard to keep their existence a secret just to confess it to every crazy lady on the street. I apologized, told her she was mistaken, and continued to try to pass her by. "He is a vampire, one of the Cullens." She proclaimed. How she knew this we didn't know, but she seemed to know enough that we agreed we should talk to her, if only to determine how much she knew and if she should be silenced.

It was in a coffee shop a few blocks down the road from my home in Forks that I first talked to Stephanie Meyer. Her knowledge of vampires extended only as far as what she had told us, and her knowledge of the Cullens was from observing Carlisle at the hospital. Stalking him, I should say. Her immediate jump to him being something supposedly supernatural seemed to indicate brain malfunction, but in this case she was correct. She told us, me actually, that she wanted to write OUR story. Yes, that's right, she misjudged my friendship (or strained acquaintanceship) with Edward for something deep and passionate. He was quick to jump in, looking offended as I choked on my drink, and correct her.

I should have known then. She wanted to hear the story, every last bit, and told us she would take notes as we talked. We couldn't put Edward in danger, we explained. But no, she would change the names, make people believe it was just another fiction book. So we told her.

So my point? My reason for writing below my entire story if she supposedly did it for me? She screwed it up. Vampires that sparkle? Heated passion and, gag me, marriage between me and Edward? Me being some ditzy idiot who can't walk straight and Edward a crazy controlling and boring person? Well, I guess she got the boring right. Anyway, it was ALL MADE UP. I don't know if she did it on purpose to keep us hidden but it doesn't matter because she used OUR REAL NAMES. We were officially outed to the community. Edward is now an outcast to every male in the world and being continually stalked by 12-year-olds. And me, getting hate mail and death threats from girls who believe I married Edward. And everyone thinks I'm a vampire now, which sucks (no pun intended).

Read it from me, the real story as it should have been told.