I was in the hospital wing for some time something had happened when I blacked out after court and everyone seemed on edge and refused to say any word of what was happening with me which scared me. I didn't like it when people were keeping secretes like this from me, I wanted to know what was wrong with me, wanted to know what was scaring Banner so bad that sometimes he would even cry at night. I never told him that he cried it wasn't my place but it hurt to see him so scared as he would snuggle closer to me and hold my hand tightly as he slept on through the night but I couldn't ignore the sounds of crying in the dead of night as he kept sleeping and it hurt to see him like that. I didn't want him to be so hurt but I didn't know what was wrong so there wasn't much I could do and besides what was i going to say when Odin decides to come see me, I know it's only a matter of time before he comes for me, before he tries to lock me back up, before the cycle repeats itself.
I held Banner tightly in my arms as he slept on through the night, I didn't want to sleep and as I stared into the ceiling I tried to think of what could possibly be bothering Bruce so much but everything that i came up with didn't make sense and so I was left to ponder over what was wrong with me that was until the the cries began again and I felt Bruce hold onto my hand tighter and I held him closer to me hoping that if he knew that I was still there, that I was still alive he would calm down but it seemed like this time he wasn't going to calm down.
"Bruce wake up please wake up." I begged but he didn't respond "Bruce please I'm here, still alive, please it's just a bad dream."
He opened his eyes and starred at me as tears continue to fall down his face and I wiped them away. I held him closer and he rested his head against my chest.
"I'm sorry Loki I'm so sorry."
"Why are you sorry?"
"I'm sorry that you have to see me like this I'm just scared." he closed his eyes again and rested closer to me. "I dreamt that you were dying in my arms but I couldn't find anything wrong and you kept telling me to let go, that you wanted to die, wanted to leave me." he began to cry again "I didn't want to leave you Loki I don't want you to die."
"Bruce I'm not dying and I'm not going to leave you ever."
"I wouldn't be making promises I can't keep Loki."
Bruce didn't move and as I looked up I saw Odin walk in but there was something different about him, he didn't walk with as much confidence and maybe there was fear in his eyes as well but it was hard to tell in the low lighting. As he came closer I could tell that there was definetly something wrong, he sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at me with sadness in his eyes.
"What do you mean?" I asked
"What do you want? I'm not letting you take Loki away." Bruce said protectivly
"Relax Doctor Banner I have no intention of hurting Loki." he turned to look back at me "Thor has told me of what happened as well as the photos of your injuries and I am sorry. I did not..."
"Don't lie to me of course you knew what they did to me I heard you tell them to do whatever they wanted with me." how dare he try to say he didn't know what I went through. He looked down defeated but I knew it was all an act. "If you've come to apologize then you can just leave and save your breath for I can't forgive you for what you did to me. I could never forgive you nor do I want to."
"I do not blame you for hating me but what's more important knowing what is wrong or hating me for my actions?"
"What have you done to me?" I asked almost scared of what has happened
"I have done nothing but to put it lightly you will die, soon." he stood to leave
"I'm going to die? For what reason? What's causing this?"
"That's what bothers everyone is that your perfectly fine there's nothing wrong and yet your dying, I don't want to lose you Loki." Bruce spoke up and held onto me tighter. All I could do was stare blankly in front of me at the news, I was fine and yet I was dying. I was going to die of nothing and for what reason no one knew why all they knew was that I was going to die and there wasn't anything that could save me.
"I am sorry my boy but there seems to be nothing any of us can do to save you from this." he got up and walked out without saying another word.
I couldn't wrap my head around what I had just been told it couldn't be possible there was just no possible way that for no reason I was dying it seemed as though fate was going to be cruel to me after all but at the same time it was being kind. It was tearing me away from everything that I had every wanted that now I had but at the same time in death I wouldn't feel any more pain or be tortured but was that truly worth giving up everything that I had now just found? Was it worth giving up my own happiness knowing that by choosing death I would end up hurting Banner even more then he is now?
I didn't want to hurt Bruce and I didn't want to die either I wanted to live, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Bruce even if that meant giving up my long life and my powers to become mortal I would do whatever it took to stay with Banner but could I still outsmart death? He's a cunning fellow and follows people closely I know that it wont be easy to fool him but then again I've done it for years maybe I could pull it off a little longer just long enough to find out why I'm dying and hopefully cure me so that I wont die any time soon and I can continue on being with Banner.
It seemed silly to be staying here if there was nothing that the doctors could do to save me and so me and Banner went to stay in my room which was exactly as i had left it. Tons of papers neatly stacked on my desk, the book that I had been reading before I left for Earth all those months ago, besides that my room seemed very empty which didn't matter to me I could care less just as long as it was still in order and not a wreck as Thor's room always was. I looked down at the open page in the book and read over the spells listed on the page they were ice spells used for healing, my eyes stopped on one spell and as I read over it I remembered that it was that spell that I had used to freeze my heart so that it could no longer feel or hurt, so that I could have at least one thing still in contact and not broken at all.
If only my books could tell me what I was dying of and how I could heal myself though I doubt there's a spell that could stop me from dying of whatever I was dying of. I pulled back the covers of the bed and as I laid down Banner rested his head on my chest and I held him close as we laid on the soft silk staring into the darkness not wanting to fall asleep. I didn't want to sleep incase I never woke up and Banner didn't want to sleep afraid that if he did then he would lose me. We were afraid of losing each other to whatever this illness was that I had.
"What's going to happen to us?" he asked
"I don't know Bruce. But I'm alive for now and that is all that matters hopefully we have enough time to find out what is killing me."
"I don't want to lose you Loki I tried to so hard to keep you safe, I fought to many battles to save you I can't lose you now."
His eyes began to sparkle with tears and I held him closer to me trying hard to fight back the tears that wanted to fall from my own eyes at the thought of losing Banner forever or to see him lose me after all he's gone through just to protect me. I kissed his head and held him tightly.
"I don't want to lose you either Bruce you have given me everything that I have ever wanted from this long life. I love you to much to lose you to lose this thing we have."
I turned to look at him and I wiped away a tear that had escaped his eye.
"I have never been more happier in my long life then I am when I'm beside you Bruce and I wish to always stay by your side."
His eyes filled with sadness and hurt and his voice held fear in it, he was scared of what was to happen for neither of us knew what would come in the future after all I could have only weeks left to live. I kissed him hoping to calm him down and to let him understand that for now I was alive and while I was still alive I would never leave his side as we tried to figure out what was killing me. I loved Bruce more then anything in the world, I din't want to lose him and he didn't want to lose me. As we kissed there was nothing but passion as we sought comfort in each other, as we needed to be with each other for as long as I still had left to live and I would spend every second with Banner and why because he deserved every second I had of my entire life for there was no one else in the nine realms that deserved me time not as much as Banner deserved it.
We pulled away for a moment catching our breaths and leaning in close to him I held the side of his head in my hand, smiling.
"I love you Bruce and I will always love you for as long as I live and far beyond the realm of death I shall still love you."
"I love you too Loki I just wish we had longer."
"Perhaps we do have longer then we think but for now I wish to give you all of my time."
This time he leaned in and I deepened the kiss and this time there was more comfort as though all fear had left us and we only had room for this connection we shared, this care, this love between us but I noticed that as we kissed my heart ached with pain.
A/N Hey everyone hope your enjoying the sequel so far please review what you think of the story so far and I would love suggestions for the story as well, I'm having some trouble writing so if you have any ideas of what you think should happen to what you would like to happen in the story please let me now I would love to hear what you have to say so please review thanks.