I'm going to do this in first person POV. It'll switch around each chapter and there'll be different subplots. Give me some pairings because so far I only got Creek and Style. Also, the rating might change to M.
The best part of waking up each morning is knowing that underpants gnomes didn't decide to kill you. At least, that was my favorite part.
All my life, I was terrified of those little demons who stole undergarments for questionable profit, but the fear started to go down a little when I reached high school. He would think that my fear is totally lame if he knew it. So each night, I go to bed and try to sleep, praying to every almighty being that I wouldn't get my lungs stolen.
It only took me until junior year. Now, I can safely sleep without having a metal bat next to me when I'm unconscious. I actually managed to overcome a fear. He would be so impressed, but he wouldn't show it. He would just flip me off. That's just the way he was, and I loved it.
"Tweek? Come down or you'll miss the bus, son!" My dad shouted, without it actually sounding like a command. A lot of people say they wished their parents were as calm as mine. I'd rather have a pair of parents who actually care about me though.
But hoping that I was actually adopted and my real parents show up is a lost cause, apparently.
I get dressed (missing some of the buttons on my shirt due to my rushing), and run downstairs, grabbing my cup of coffee from the kitchen table.
"I'm leaving now!" I yelled at my parents, guzzling all the lukewarm coffee down in ten seconds. It was actually a decent brew this morning. Usually my mom likes to half-ass it and save the real talent for the shop. My day was just getting better and better.
"Bye, sweetie," My mom responded, chopping carrots. I assumed her own day wasn't going very well. The carrots were practically liquid. She must of took her meds last night. Glad I don't know the feeling.
I dash out the door, almost running into Kyle Broflovski, Stan Marsh, Kenny McCormick, and Eric Cartman. My four least favorite people.
"Ey! Watch where you're going, twitchy fag," Cartman hissed, even though I didn't even touch him. If anything, I almost knocked over Kyle.
Puberty seemed to be kind to these four. Cartman, amazingly, lost most of his fat by playing sports. He wasn't necessarily a tub of lard anymore, but he could still crush someone by sitting on them. Stan was every teenage girl's dreamboy. His pretty blue eyes and lean physique made the ladies wet their pants (and I don't mean in the urine kind of way). Kyle was this short, freckly guy with his old trademark hat still a part of him. It didn't really cover the ginger fuzz anymore. And lastly, there was Kenny, who ditched his huge parka and now let his beautiful face and golden hair grace South Park.
They were all good looking, and it pissed me (See: wild hair, starving thin physique, and a twitch) the fuck off. It did help to remember that none were as nice looking as him.
"GAH! Y-You watch it!" That was my incredibly brilliant reply. Yes, I know, it's a wonder I get bullied.
"How rude! Can't we all just kiss and make out? Er, up?" Kenny flashed a hungry grin that made my dick softer than a kitten's fur. Seriously, I know people find him attractive, but I just find him disgusting and perverted. He makes me twitch more and more.
"Ngh, no! I have to go t-to school!"
"Yeah, so do we," Kyle said sharply, crossing his arms. Oddly enough, Stan didn't give a snarky comment to match his best friend's. He was looking down, and there were bags under his eyes. More than me, even.
"Is Stan okay?" I blurt out, mentally punching myself in the face. Why do I care I don't they're going to beat me up I'm going to die.
Before Stan could reply, Kyle gave him a look and muttered, "He's fine." Because I value my young life, I kept quiet. The bus came a minute later, sparing the five of us from awkward silence.
I sat alone. I always did. It wasn't because no one liked me (even though that was pretty true), I just got nervous when people sat close to me. Even him. Especially him.
History class happened and I flunked a quiz. How was I supposed to know Abraham Lincoln was voted the ugliest president when he was elected? Reading made me anxious!
Then it was gym. As always, I changed in the bathroom and got picked last for basketball. Someone tried to pass me the ball but I panicked and threw it back. It was Heidi Turner, and I nailed her right in the face. Great, now another person hated me.
Art happened, and nothing happened. Well, Kenny drew dicks and got a detention, but that was never new. He wasn't original nor was he funny.
English class, one of my favorites. Mostly because we just read the whole time and occasionally have tests about it. Maybe because it's the lower class. I'm not stupid, but the school thinks that anxious equals dumb. I don't mind.
Then, it's my favorite part of the day. Lunch. I don't actually eat in the cafeteria. Oh no. Something even more delicious is waiting for me in the library.
I don't go there to read the classics or chat with pals or study for big tests. I go there for one reason and one reason only.
That reason is named Craig Tucker.
I guess some would consider it a obsession at this point. All I do is watch him. I don't talk to him, I don't even know how I would start a conversation with this unemotional giant.
Craig isn't a bookworm nerd either, in case you were wondering. He flipped off the president when he visited the school, and his punishment was to help out in the library at his lunch time for the rest of his high school career. I don't mind. This way, I get to pretend to read something while checking him out. I could never get away with this anywhere else. So really, him getting in trouble is a huge plus for me.
I've been hopelessly in love with Craig Tucker since pre-school. We went out once. For five minutes, yes, but it still affected me. He made tiny cocoons grow in my stomach when he asked me to be his boyfriend and released the butterflies when he kissed my cheek. It was a Disney moment come to life. Minus the musicals and obvious sex references.
Maybe it's weird that I still want him after all this time. Every few years I try to convince myself that it's ridiculous, but Craig managed to make me change my mind. We fought in the third grade, we were partners for a project in fifth grade, and he gave me his peanut butter sandwich in eighth grade. Real, magical moments. How could I get over him?
The answer was simple: I couldn't.
As I was thinking about my passionate love life and how tragic it was (Romeo and Juliet practically), someone tapped my shoulder. I screamed and spun around to say really bad insults to the culprit.
Except it was Craig. Fuck.
He didn't react to my scream. He didn't really react to anything that happened to him. He was like that expensive vase you had in your home. Beautiful on the outside, but on the inside he was just...empty. Hollow. Completely blank and unfeeling. At least he looked nice. He towered over me at six foot three and he got shark bites, which somehow made him about twenty times sexier. I guess piercings were my thing
"Why do you come here every day?" Craig asked, although it didn't sound like a question to me.
"AH, what do you mean?!" I shrieked, forgetting that we are in a library. Several students gave me dirty looks.
"I mean, you're here. Every day. You never do anything, you just pick up a book then look at me." My mouth dropped open at the observation. Was I really that obvious?
"I'm not...this isn't...you're...GAH, TOO MUCH PRESSURE!" I banged my head against the shelf a few times.
Craig watched me, not saying anything or attempting to make me stop. It...managed to calm me down, actually. It was nice not having someone scream in my face or avoid looking at me like my parents.
Once I stopped, Craig went on with what he was talking about. "I don't care. It's just weird. Why do you only come here to stare at me? Do you like me or something?"
Oh god. Oh god. Today was going so well, why did Craig have to ruin it with his correct theories? Damn it!
"What? N-No. Definitely not. Nope. Not at all," I laughed nervously. Yes, my acting abilities were absolutely flawless.
Craig just stared. Jesus, did he ever get tired of not having an expression ever? Did he even know how to smile? The thought of Craig smiling was both scary and arousing.
"Okay," Craig said, leaning against one of the bookshelves. "Just wanted to know. Hey, are you going to Token's party on Saturday?"
I twitched. Token was having a party? I wasn't surprised that I wasn't aware, but I was shocked Craig thought I knew. "I...I don't think I'm invited."
Craig raised a single eyebrow and holy fuck that was the hottest thing I've ever seen in my young life. "I'm inviting you."
For a second, I'm tempted to jump on this tall asshole and kiss the hell out of his pierced face. He was actually inviting me? The twitchy spaz? Tweek Tweak the Freak? Maybe the underpants gnomes actually did kill me and I'm in heaven right now. "Oh. Okay! I'll go then!" Could I make it any more obvious that I was hopelessly in love with him right now?
Craig nodded once, slinging his backpack on. "Cool. Starts at six. See you there, Tweek." He spun around and left the library, even though he had five more minutes to work. He was so cool.
I decided that maybe I had time to eat in the cafeteria, though it would have to be a fruit cup or something. As I walked out of the library, I slammed right into someone and fell back on the floor.
"Watch where you're going!" Kyle hissed, glaring at me. I was about to say some totally witty and awesome retort when I noticed the tears running down Kyle's cheeks.
"GAH! I'm sorry! Are...Are you okay, Kyle?" I tilted my head, getting up onto my feet. Kyle seemed to realize the tears that were escaping from him and wiped them away quickly.
"Fine. Sorry, Tweek. Things are just really fucked up right now. Just...leave me alone." Kyle ducked his head, rushing into the library before I could ask more questions. Well, that was weird. Maybe I should've followed him and helped him out, but I was on cloud nine right now and couldn't worry about someone I don't even like.
I had a technical pseudo-date with Craig Tucker.
HA THAT WAS BAD I'M SORRY. What's wrong with Kyle? How will Tweek's technical date go? When will I ship Cartman with someone? STAY TUNED.