19Okay, before I write this (in Times New Roman font 13 bitches) just let me explain something to you first. I'm not a sappy guy. Get any of those thoughts out of your head now. Are they gone? Good.
So, if I'm not a sappy guy (which I'm not) why am I writing this? I'll tell you. Mattie got it into his head that he was unawesome, and didn't believe me when I said I could easily come up with 100 reasons people shouldn't ignore him. I couldn't just let someone challenge me like that! Which is why I'm writing this. Besides, maybe he'll start praising me for this!
It's not because I'm sappy. Really!
And now that everyone know I'm not some dude who hides Britney Spear songs in his closet, onto the list!
1. Have you tasted his pancakes? They stand for, like, five reasons on their own!
2. He has the patience of a God.
3. He's related to Francis, Arthur, and Alfred, and doesn't have any type of mental disorder. Again, worth five reasons!
4. He's adorable.
5. Even when he denies being adorable.
6. Fuck I just admitted I thought he was adorable. Damn, I wish I wasn't writing in pen.
4. Let's try this again. He's sorta handsome in a totally not gay way.
5. When he watches hockey, he gets all pissed off, but before he gets really into this (which I totally don't run away from, by the way) he'll keep glancing at you and trying to calm down. Something about "not wanting to overwhelm me."
6. When he stops worrying about it and just gets angry. (Which is both hot and scary by the way.)
7. Why do I have a feeling I'm going to blot a lot of stuff out? Anyway, his eyes change color. Normally they're blue, but sometimes they're red. Matt denies it, but it's true.
8. Gilbird loves him. Everything Gilbird loves is awesome, therefore, he is awesome.
9. I don't think anyone has ever not liked him. He's too likeable.
10. When he laughs, he does this cute thing where he scrunches up his nose.
11. I would have punched literally everyone he knows by now. Except me, of course. I'm too awesome to get punched.
12. He volunteers at the hospital and zoo, but refuses to get a job at either of them. Literally, someone tried to give him a job doing exactly what he was doing as a volunteer, and he said no. He said it would make the kids feel like he was being forced to care for them. Which I don't get, but hey, it's his choice.
13. He has a heart bigger than his body. See above.
14. When I prank someone, he'll come along and won't tell anyone it was me, even though he tells me he will.
15. He even toke the blame for one that went horribly wrong, which would have gotten me expelled, but he only got a warning.
16. He lets his cousin Amelia give him a makeover and give him ponytails. (Yes, I still have pictures.)
17. Pretty sure he'd rather kill himself than let someone worry about him. Crazy dork.
18. Oh, and he went through that weeaboo stage. Which was highly annoying, but his eyes kept shinning, so it was worth it.
19. Ha! And birdie thought this would be hard. I'm already at nineteen.
20. When someone talked shit about me behind my back they kept walking into school with bad hair/running mascara/wet clothes/ect. And Mattie was always the first to notice. Coincidence? I think not!
21. He gives awesome massages.
22. When people call him innocent, he smiles and plans their murder.
23. Okay, so that last one was a lie. At least, I'm pretty sure it is.
24. I hope it is. Sort of. In a way.
25. 1/4 done bitches!
26. His hair is really soft. Like, the only person who has softer hair than him is that Raivis kid.
27. It's like feathers and marshmallows combined, but in a good way.
28. He's also super ticklish, and he'll practically scream if you poke him in the right spot. (Then ignore you for the rest of the day, but the vine was so worth it.)
29. His laugh is like a little kids', and it's really cute funny.
30. I like him, and I don't like any unawesome people.
31. He doesn't mind when I call him Birdie.
32. He treats everyone the same. Which is annoying when it's some bastard like Ivan, but still good for the most part.
33. He makes you think he's all innocent then—BAMN! He yells at you for three hours and points every one of your flaws. (That video was deleted as soon as possible.)
34. He has a lot of different smiles. Like, one is really soft and giggly and another is huge and it makes you want to smile too.
35. I mean, not that I pay attention to it. Just something I picked up on.
36. Really!
37. But no matter what type of smile it is, they all make you want to smile too.
38. He's pretty much always smiling.
39. He's memorized every pancake recipe he could get his hands on. I can't even remember the answers to a test!
40. When you tease him, he pretty much always blushes in a really cute . . . unique way.
41. Antonio has started comparing his blushing to Lovino's. I'm not kidding. But let's be honest, usually Lovino's "blushing" is out of anger.
42. He can speak French.
43. And not make it pervy. (Looking at you Francis)
44. He makes everything into a pun. Everything.
45. His hands are really soft.
46. . . . Don't ask me how I know that.
47. It's not by holding his hand.
48. No homo.
49. He does this humming thing when he's concentrating, but he doesn't even realize it.
50. ½ done bitches! I'm not even sweating!
51. He can actually solve a rubix cube.
52. He has this really soft snore.
53. Not sure, but he may cuss in French.
54. Aw, who am I kidding? This is Mathew Williams! He doesn't cuss.
55. . . . Right?
56. . . . Anyway, he talks in his sleep, and I have learned way more than I ever needed to, but still, it's sort of cute when he just mumbles incoherently.
57. You'd think he listens to really girly lullaby stuff, right? Wrong. I stole his ipod once and the first song I heard was death metal. Sorry I didn't talk to you for a week by the way.
58. He also has a really soothing voice if you're ever scared or something.
59. Not that I know.
60. Someone just told me.
61. . . . Really . . .
62. Mattie has the most adorable dimples.
63. Seriously, no one can have better dimples.
64. No. One.
65. He has this black book that he freaks out about if anyone touches it.
66. . . . I have no idea why I mentioned that.
67. It just sort of appeared.
68. Speaking of appearing, he is great at startling people. Like, freakily good at it.
69. When someone tried to cut down his favorite tree, he chained himself to it and made Alfred swallow the key.
70. Once they left he toke the spare key from his pocket and undid the lock.
71. . . . Seriously, they didn't think to check him for a spare key.
72. Talk about stupid.
73. He said it was like a big magic trick.
74. He is really good at those, by the way.
75. Wow. I'm ¾ done. I thought I would have been fumbling for answers by now.
76. You know the saying, "It's always the quiet ones?" Well, that's pretty much Birdie personified.
77. He's really flexible.
78. . . . I know that from twister, get your mind out of the gutter.
79. Whenever he's pissed, he'll pretend to be a ghost to freak whoever it was out.
80. They never notice.
81. Except me, but Mattie was only kidding when he did it. And got tickled because of it.
82. I think he does it accidentally sometimes.
83. Like, he'll try to talk to them and they'll think he's a ghost for a minute before noticing him.
84. Not sure if that's funny or sad.
85. The other people are really unawesome though.
86. Birdie, listen to this. They are the unawesome ones. Not. You.
87. If you only get to read one of these, read that one.
88. Which isn't sappy, by the way. It's just the truth.
89. And you know that, because I'm not sappy.
90. Therefore it must be the truth.
91. And it is.
92. Because Birdie is awesome.
93. And he needs to realize it.
94. Which is why I'm writing all these reasons down.
95. Even though half of them are just stuff I want to say.
96. Like the past six or so.
97. But that doesn't change the fact that you are awesome.
98. You always have been.
99. You are right now.
100. You always will be.
Told you I could come up with 100 without a problem. I'll even be nice and give you a 101th reason.
Ask me when I give this to you.
. . . o0o . . .
Hey! This is my first two-shot, and the second chapter should be up soon. It may take a bit though, I want to make sure I like how I word it and everything. It should be a week at most.
Edit: I went through and used a strikethrough for what Gilbert blotted out. I also fixed a few things I saw. Sadly, when I looked this over I'm not sure if it worked. ffnet is being stupid.