It wasn't easy but I already knew that when I decided that that day I would leave everything behind to spend the rest of eternity with the notorius Jeff the Killer but it seemed that as soon as I had joined him I was truly alive, it seemed as though my life hadn't begun until I left that damned house with Jeff. As soon as I had left my life behind me and focused on what was ahead of me I no longer felt pain, no longer fought myself, or cried I didn't know any of that but unlike me I knew Jeff was different. He was still fighting, still at war with himself, still trying to figure everything out and this battle made him more dangerous. He was more ruthless with his kills not as careful as he used to be and there was a hunger in his eyes that craved the screams of his victums, to see their eyes fill with fear as he whispered his famous words before the kill but no matter what he did or how many we killed he wasn't happy, wasn't satisfied with his work.
I didn't mind Jeff's killing rampages it made him happy, took his mind off of his battle and that was all that mattered to me to know that this helped him through his own battles I just wish he would let me help after all I let him help me through it and I was there for him the same way. The point of this story isn't to glorify what he does, it isn't to prove that everyone was wrong and that Jeff's actually a hero 'cause that's not what the point of this is. At first I just wanted to get this story out because I had nothing else better to do with my time but sit down at my computer and type what happened to me and Jeff had made this the story that it ended up becoming. But none of it's a lie and Jeff is no hero nor is he sane at all, we're killing innocent people and why, because we're board with life and there's nothing better for two insane killers to do then go around killing people in the dead of night.
This isn't to justify anything that we've done in fact I don't even think Jeff knows that I've been writing this down and that there are others reading it but then again I don't really know if anyone is reading this. There really is no point in this story but I thought people might like to know the Jeff that I know, the Jeff that has saved my life when he's had dozens of chances to take it away with the swish of his knife and yet here I am by his side getting a deeper understanding of the lonely killer. It seems that there are many different versions of Jeff and they're all correct, he's done many things but again I'm not here to glorify anything that he's done just to tell my own story of the killer that I know and like.
The only thing that bothers me about Jeff is that he's changed now, he's different then the silent killer that helped me before and I'm not talking about just how he kills there is more to this change then that and I'm worried about him, worried about what he might be turning into or where his silent wars will led him next down this road of insanity that he's stuck on traveling down with me following by his side. I could see it in his eyes, his kills, his voice, everything I could see him slowly changing and sometimes I wondered if it was good or bad, it seemed to be hurting him though and whenever I tried to talk to him about what was going on he would either attack me or just ignore me and usually he would attack me if I asked him about it.
He never actually hurt me I had been around him long enough to know all of his moves and I could always tell when he was about to attack me but that was a normal thing and it didn't really bother me. Well at least Jeff doesn't think that it bothers me because when he attacks I make it seem like I don't care as though it's just another thing that I've grown use to but it opened the old wounds that had closed, replayed their teasing, that dreadful night where I almost died had it not been for Jeff. When he attacked me they all came out and attacked, they laughed, poked me with fire, and loaded their guns but when he calmed down they dissapeared but I knew that they were never gone for long. We both had our own demons to face in our own battles and sometimes they teamed up against us but Jeff always fought alone he liked to be alone and it was usually impossible to get him to accept that I was there to help him.
When I could get him to talk about the battles we both fought it was these moments that I saw the boy I knew before, it was these moments that showed the human side of the killer. Jeff trusted me with everything, he told me everything that there was to tell about him. His family, his past, what drove him to true insanity and why he was able to keep some portion of sanity left in his mind. Jeff didn't really like talking about the past and I could see that it always hurt him when he brought up what had happened before. I just wanted to be there for him like he had been there for me, I just wanted to help him get through this to end all his small battles against himself, I didn't want to see him suffer from those wars any longer.
"Why do you care so much?" he asked
"I'm just worried i want to help you Jeff I really do but sometimes you can be really stubborn."
It was still morning and we had just snuck into the abandoned warehouse that we hide in during the morning until night time when we would sneak out. Jeff was slouching in an armchair while I stood facing him irritated by his stubborness to talk to me. But I couldn't stay mad at him for long for as he sat up I saw that behind his permanent smile there was a frown but his eyes also portrayed sadness.
"You shouldn't have come with me. You should have..."
"Jeff we're not going into that again for the billionth time no matter what happens I'm not leaving you." he looked away from me and I knelt in front of him turning his head so that he faced me. "You never left me, never gave up on trying to save me from what I was fighting and I know that you've been fighting the same thing. I haven't given up on you Jeff and I never will I just want to help you the same way you helped me."
I dropped my hand from his face and for a moment he just stared at me with hurt and wonder in his eyes. Everyone has always seen him as a freak, a monster, just another weirdo to be locked up in some asylum but they didn't know Jeff like I did, they didn't know what he went through, what he's fighting but I do. I've gone through all of that, the teasing, the bullying, the neglect from adults, the burns I've gone through all of that but had Jeff not come along I probably wouldn't be here today. I wuldn't have made an extrodinary friend, there are many things that wouldn't have happened had Jeff not been there with the idea of killing yet another victum.
"I'm a freak Katie why do you care so much about me?"
"Is that really important at this moment?" he stared at me a little defeated, "You've done something that I always thought was impossible, you saved me helped through all the hell that the world has put me through and gave me a reason to keep fighting and because of you I've managed to get over this battle. I want to help you through it too."
He laughed but I knew that he was trying to sound like the sycho everyone saw him as and underneath the fake laugh I could still hear the pain of him struggling to lie. After all the time I've spent with Jeff it's now easier for me to see if it's a true sycho laugh or one that's hiding the truth, I didn't want him to hide from me I wanted to help him but I couldn't help him through this if he was always refusing to let me help. I know that I'm not much and that there's probably someone else out there who would be better at this then me but right now I was all he had. I was his only friend, the only one to see him as a human and not some freak that the world believed him to be, I was the one person who was willing to help him when many would turn their back glad to be able to live another day.
But I thought that by now Jeff would realize that I'm not like everyone else he's meet. No I was nothing like any of them but that was the way I wanted it to be because had I been like the rest of the crowd then I wouldn't be here, I wouldn't have sparked Jeff's interest as I battled through life hoping he would return to end mine, I wouldn't have gone through all this hell true but it was this hell that I had lived in that got me to where I am and now I Jeff was slowly pulling me out of the pits of hell but at the same time he was slipping back down and I wasn't going to let that happen, I wasn't going to let him suffer any more. I took his blood stained hands in mine and meet his eyes.
"Jeff I really do want to help you through this, I want to be there for you the way you were there for me except I'm not ever going to leave your side." he didn't want to believe me that much I knew "I'm not lying to you I really do care and I do want to help you win this war but I can't help if you keep pushing me away."
"Maybe I don't want your help if you haven't noticed I've been doing fine by myself for years." he said trying to sound triumphant
"Have you really be ok all these years Jeffery?" he flinched at his full first name and I was surprised by the calming, comforting, tone that had spoke. "Jeff please I want to be there for you. I know you want all the fighting to end, to be able to go on without ever hearing them, without the visions of the past, you want this battle to end. But sometimes there are battles that you can't fight alone and I want to help you through this."
"It's too late to try and change me Katie, I'm to far gone."
There he was again in that moment I was speaking to Jeffery not Jeff the Killer. I was speaking to his former self, the scared boy that he used to be and not the killer he had become. In that moment I saw the sorrow take his eyes, saw him frown within his smile, and heard his heart, I could hear it gently beating as any human heart would. It beat slowly but normally and with each beat there was a sense of pain inside of it as though it was crying for release, it was begging Jeff to open up, to let me help him and I saw him shut his eyes trying to drown out the sound of his silent pleading heart.
"Jeff I know your still human, you have a heart I can hear it you don't have to be alone anymore I'm here for you" I wrapped my arms around the killer and he wrapped his around me "and there's nothing that will ever separate me from you I promise I will always be here for you."
He didn't say anything just held me close more tightly then I was holding him and I knew that he wan't me to stay there, he didn't want me to leave him and just as I had promised I never would leave him. He sighed deeply and I could almost feel him shudder slightly and I held him closer not letting go of him. I didn't want to let go of him, he smelled nice and his jacket was soft and comfortable to lean against. All his scars dissapeared as well as the blood stains and I saw who Jeff used to be, I saw the scared, little boy who had been trapped by a killer and lost all sanity but now he was slowly gaining some, did that mean that while he gained sanity I was going insane? If it did then I would gladly give up all of my sanity for his insanity I mean I would if that was what he wanted. I was here for Jeff and I was going to make sure that he knew that and to know that he could always talk to me, tell me anything and I would listen and understand. I wouldn't judge him or tease him for what he thought.