86Whoops I didn't think this would take so long. My first draft got deleted so I needed to start all over again and it sucks. OMG ONE MORE CHAPTER. The next chapter will be the epilogue and then we're done. Thank you to all those who reviewed and favourited. It means a lot to me :). If you guys have any one-shot suggestions, you can message me or leave it as a review if you don't have an account.
I apologise for any grammar/spelling errors.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything recognisable.
Merry Christmas!
VI
Four years later.
In a cold Saturday morning, Beck wakes up late, or at least later than the usual time he wakes up. It's been raining since last night, which is quite weird, to say the least, because it rarely rains in Los Angeles. Well, it's not exactly that cold, but cold enough for him to want to drink some hot chocolate. He makes himself a cup and seats on his large, navy blue sofa. He turns on the television to watch some Canadian hockey. He sighs, I miss this. He misses this, because he's been very busy these past years that he nearly have time for this kind of day, where he rests and have some time for himself. He misses just hanging out with his friends back home as often as they could. He still visits them when he goes home though, but not that often. He wants to visit his aunt and uncle in Hawaii longer than he is allowed. He missed staying there for the whole summer, because the longest he can stay there now is two weeks. Beck, knows, however that it's the price he needs to pay in order to stay in the business.
Four years after Hawaii, Beck is now a successful young actor who is known worldwide for his appearance in various movies, some of which are independent films. He is loved by teenage girls and appears in almost every magazine. As of January this year, Beck is declared as the sexiest man alive. He has been very busy for the past couple of years, yet is immensely grateful. He's been going to a handful of events every week, accepting awards every now and then. Movie projects here, meeting and concerts there. He's all over the place and he loves it. He's incredibly thankful for the blessings he has been receiving and does a lot of charity work to commemorate that.
Although he has been very busy, he can't help but feel homesick sometimes. Beck knows that thousands of people would love to be in his position and he is really blessed to have it, but it's days like this that makes him want to go and live a normal life. It's days like this that Beck would rather live anywhere but in LA, anywhere but the busy streets of the city. He misses Canada. He's not sure what of Canada he misses, maybe the sceneries, the beautiful greens, or maybe the wonderful bodies of water, he doesn't know, he just misses Canada. Then there's the people in Canada. Him missing his friends and other relatives is a given. You may think it's funny, but Beck misses the baker across the street that always gives him an extra piece of bread whenever he buys, he misses those noisy kids playing outside their homes and the chirping birds on the trees. He smiles at the memories as he flips to another channel. He sees a quick peek of Spongebob Squarepants as he flips through the channels and smile wider because it reminded him of Hawaii for a second.
See, for Beck, Hawaii is the best place on Earth and that says a lot as he has been to a lot of wonderful places. He loves Hawaii because most of the joyful memories his brain can think of happened there. He remembers learning how to ride a bike for the first time when her was six. His uncle thought him how and they went to get some ice cream after. He remembers how happy he was when he knew how to ride a bike, his cheeks aching, yet he continued smiling widely because of utter happiness. He remembers meeting Andre in a play ground once and they spent the entire afternoon talking about monster trucks and how it could destroy sand castles. Since then, the two were like brothers and the relationship never faltered even if Beck only visits every summer. And of course, Beck can never forget the bittersweet memory of a girl he once met. He may not remember the events exactly but he knows how in bliss he was during such a short amount of time. He remembers her eyes that held galaxies and how hypnotising they are. He recalls her raspy voice and how it sent shivers down his spine. He thinks of the kisses, touches and moments they shared that he will never exchange for anything even if it ended so fast and painfully. He remembers how laughable of a mess he was when she left and how broken he felt. He didn't really want to let go, but he had to for her. He recalls her being everywhere even when she's gone. She left a hair tie on his bedroom table, left a bottle of her perfume in his bathroom. Beck's world isn't huge then and Jade overwhelmed it. He suffocated for the lack of her.
Beck suddenly found himself in his basement, holding less than half a cup of a now lukewarm chocolate drink. He loves his basement not only because it is neatly arranged, but because it consists of his things from Canada and some of his things from Hawaii. His legs lead him to exactly where he wants to be. He stops at a particular box and opens it. His hands gets buried inside of his junk as he tries to locate the object he wanted. Beck closes his eyes as he felt his camera, reminiscing. shivers run down his spine as memories flood his mind. He pulls it out and turns it on, surprised to see that it's still working. He brings the camera back to his bedroom and sits on the edge of the bed. He sees the pictures he once captured and smiles at himself, realising how wonderful his shots were. There is a picture of a slipper half buried in the sand, his aunt and uncle, Andre, him and Andre and a couple of view shots he was paid to capture. He goes through more photos and stops at a photo of a clown fish.
His eyes immediately become glossy, heart beat quickens and he becomes a little overwhelmed from the amount of emotions he's feeling all at once. He knows she took the photo and suddenly she's making him feel again. Suddenly she's making him feel alive and sad and in love all over again, just like she did four years ago. She captured a photo of of a clownfish, she captured my heart too, Beck tells himself. He rethinks the day they spent together and how it ended the way he didn't want to a week after. He stares at the photo, thinking about the potential Jade has in becoming a photographer. Great, he says to himself, she has one more talent to add on the endless list she already has. He goes through more photos and can't help the tears that flow from his cheeks to his chin. He was so happy back then, so alive and careless. Right now, Beck is glad, but not as happy as he was. Beck sees a picture of Jade laying lazily on her hotel bed, covered by a white duvet. That was the day he first heard her sing. He recalls her voice entering his mind, deleting all the a crap ton of thoughts and replacing it with images of her and her beauty. He recalls her voice so soothing and calm, he craves for it now.
Beck manages to look through a couple more photos but stops at a picture he doesn't remember taking. Jade most probably took it herself. It's a photo of her face With minimum make up on. She looks like a goddess with her hair cascading down her shoulders, eyes looking straight to his being, lips luscious and red. He takes in her appearance and swoons. All he wants to do now is hug her tight and kiss her with all the pent up frustration, passion and longing he had for her. He feels like he's losing his mind, losing it to Jade as she fills his mind again and again. When they parted, he remembers thinking to himself that they would meet again next time when they both are in the industry, when they both are successful. Beck waited for Jade, but he hasn't heard of her every since. Maybe she took another path in life, maybe she realised how hard it is to be in the business. He can't bring himself to look at another photo, because he feels like his heart is gonna combust if he does so. He took forever to move one, still is on the process of doing so, but looking at those picture confirmed something to Beck; he still loves her.
*I'm not supposed to miss you, I'm not supposed to care.
...
"Ms. West, we need you to sign these." Tara, Jade's secretary tells her as she hands the papers along with her morning coffee. "You'll have a meeting with Mr. Steinfield at ten, then with Mr. Crawford an hour and a half after. Your last meeting is at six with Ms. Hudson."
"Ugh. It's only seven in the morning, Tara. It's too early for my mind to be reminded of today's schedule." Jade rolls her eyes and groaned. "Alright. Thanks for the coffee." She says and Tara smiles as she disappears from her office.
Work, work, work.
For the last three years, Jade has been doing nothing but work. Meetings here, business parties there. She's been spending days in her office, her eyes glued to her laptop. Being the CEO sure is tiring. She hates her job and perhaps that's why she's having a hard time doing it. She never wanted to be glued to her chair and laptop. She never wanted to be in boring business conferences or read boring company reports. She wants to perform and act and make people happy with her music. She wants to go to different countries and meet Beyoncé, but all she has now is a big ass headache and a fuck ton of problems. She knows that she should be thankful, especially because the amount of money that enters their banking company every month isn't a joke. But will you really be thankful for something you didn't ask for? Maybe. Maybe she is a little thankful that she isn't unemployed, but that doesn't mean she loves the job, nor does it mean that she is contented with it.
Jade now runs her father's company instead or becoming a singer/actress because faith just wanted her to do so. A year after Hawaii, she continued with her recordings and her way to stardom, however her manager died from a car crash and left all his artists unhandled. She tried to look for another management, but no one would take her. To top that, her recording company dropped her because she didn't have enough fan base to support her music. Jade remembers feeling devastated, feeling broken. She recalls crying herself to sleep for nights and losing appetites. She remembers how she felt insignificant, how she felt dead and numb. She felt weak and vulnerable, both adjectives she didn't think she would ever use to describe herself and she hated it. Jade hated every minute of it. She doesn't want to be weak, because she's the mean, tough Jade West. She shouldn't be feeling such emotions. She wanted to prove everyone wrong, wanted to prove the management that denied her, the record label that dropped her that she will be successful, even if it means in another business. And she did prove them wrong after accepting her father's offer to run his banking company. She's proud of herself for being successful despite all the rejections, despite her not loving what she does.
However, Jade still feels dead.
It's pathetic how she almost forgot how it feels really live. She might be breathing, but she isn't living. She remembers exactly when and where she was most alive; in Hawaii with Beck. God, last time she felt alive was four years ago, she says to herself. She remembers the moments they've shared, memories they've made. She accidentally drops her pen as emotions hit her hard like two cars colliding against each other. She remembers every sunset, every kiss, the cuddles and the intimacy they shared. Jade wants to go back and stay in Hawaii. She should've stayed, should've not left and maybe she would've been happy, would've felt alive right now. She should've told him how much she loved him then, so she would've not feel a huge weight on her chest knowing that she didn't show how much she loves him enough now. Damn it 'should've's and 'would've's sure do hurt. She hasn't felt that way with any other guy. She dated some guys here and there, tried to go further than two dates, but it just didn't work for her. They didn't make her heart race, didn't make her breath hitch, they didn't make her forget him. She doesn't think she's ever loved someone, or anything at all, the way she loved him. And suddenly the thought of him makes nothing worth it. Her success she's so proud about suddenly isn't worth it anymore. All her hard work, sleepless nights and headaches aren't worth it, because to be honest, all of those aren't worth the heartbreak she caused him. Now she's here in her office as lifeless as she is, filled with paper work, yet to be done, while he's there in every magazine and every red carpet event as if to constantly remind her the pain she caused him. She hates herself for causing him any sort of pain, especially because she knows how long it takes for the wounds will heal. Mine's not even healed yet. She's also ashamed that Beck is the famous one now. He's in every television show, interviews, A-list celebrity parties and movies all over the world. The was her dream -still is. It's so embarrassing to know that she, being the one who left, is now in an office living the life she never dreamed off, while Beck is fulfilling both their dreams. But most of all, she hated herself for loving him so much and then leaving him. There was a pain, a harsh and unrelenting pain that she recalls feeling, and it was something she didn't understand. And because she didn't understand it, she was terrified of it. She didn't know how to stop it.
She feels crushed again, feels defeated. You're a failure, you're a failure, her brain screams to her again and again. Jade can't help the hot, salty tears that streams down her pink cheeks. She needs someone to comfort her and knows that the only one who could is beyond her reach. And it totally kills her to know that she'll never have him back, to know that thousand of girls will gladly throw themselves to him if he tells them to. She wants to be the only girl for him. She wants him to still be hers. She remembers feeling the same way years ago and that's why she drowns herself with work. She recalls crying and crying. Jade cried until there was seemingly nothing left inside her, like her heart was simply a cavernous hole in her chest that ached dully for something to fill it, for Beck to fill it. The most painful part is when she remembered some moments they shared. Beck loved taking photos of sceneries and took a photo of the busy night life of Hawaii. She remembers looking at him as he took a photo and seeing him with a great smile after almost melted her heart. He thought the view was pretty, but I think he looks better, Jade says to herself as a small, regretful smile shows on her face. She's sobbing uncontrollably again, after months and months of stopping herself from doing so. All the pent up hatred, sadness and guilt are finally coming out and if feels slightly better, but she's still not alright.
Jade wants a vacation, an escape from all of the hectic schedules and problems she has. She wants it soon. She wants to drink, she wants to completely forget her problems, or at least for a couple of hours. She's been wanting to travel some place alone, to relax and just enjoy, but every time she looks for a perfect place to go to, Hawaii consumes her. Her mind almost automatically thinks that Hawaii is the best place on earth, that it's the only place she'd find peace in, the only place she'd enjoy. It's true, all of it, because most of the memory she has of Hawaii is amazing and wonderful, really, but just that one miserable, miserable memory destroys the majority. She's been weighing the pros and cons of going for eternity and she still doesn't know whether she should go on a vacation there or go to another country. However, when she searches for other good countries to go to, she can't seem to be enticed by them. Jade would always compare them to Hawaii and she's completely biased about it. She loves Hawaii and it's beautiful beaches and delicious cuisine, that's why. Or maybe just the guy she once met there.
**You can never love people as much as you miss them.
...
About a month after, Beck finally is back in Hawaii. He's back for only two weeks again, just like the past couple of years. He needs to shoot another film after his vacation. He just finished leaving his things in his aunt's house and left to go meet Andre. He misses him so much. He has so much to tell him and Andre sure has a lot to tell him too. They can never run out of topics to discuss. Before Beck boarded the plane to Hawaii, he received a message from Andre saying that 'he met a girl' and that he wishes him a safe flight. Last girl Andre met was months ago so this should be interesting, Beck thinks and smile to himself. He's meeting Andre at a local coffee shop that they both enjoy hanging out at. He settles his blank canvas and bag of painting materials at the table they always go at and checks his watch. Two more minutes.
After exactly two minutes, Andre enters the coffee shop. He never was the late type. He wears a comfortable tee and some beach shorts, much like Beck's attire. Beck observed that his dreadlocks got slightly longer and lighter in colour. He got more buff, too, as if he wasn't buff enough the last time they saw each other. Andre sees that Beck trimmed the ends of his hair and shaved his growing beard off. Good, he thinks, cause he looked like a hobo before, and laughs to himself. After grinning at each other like idiots, they went for a bro-hug and did their handshake that they made when they were eleven. Andre went to reach Beck's hair and ruffles it. He laughs loudly at the face Beck makes. He's happy that even if his best friends is now an international super star, he's still the same goofy kid he met years ago.
"How are you, man?" Andre asks.
"I'm good, great. You?"
"I'm good, too. Why don't we order first?"
"Yeah, good idea." Beck replies as both of them heads to the counter to order. They return to their tables with cups of coffee in one hand, and a treat on the other. "So, tell me about the girl you met."
"Her name's Tori. We go to the same university. I accidentally hit her with a ping pong ball in a party when I was playing beer pong." He laughs as he replied. "I guess sparks flew there."
"Really interesting story, Andre." Beck says and sips on his coffee. "How long have you guys been seeing each other?"
"Seventh month on the twenty second."
"Wow, dude! You're serious about this."
"I am." He answers genuinely. "We're like one soul in two bodies. I think she's the one, you know? Everything just works."
Beck frowns slightly, not enough for Andre to notice. He knows how it feels like to find the one, cause he found the one for him. I know. He fakes a smile and replies: "That's great. I'm happy for you, really."
"How about you? Any lucky girls?" Andre asks and he doesn't miss how his best friend's smile falters. He knows that there's still just one girl in his mind.
"Me? Naah. I'm too busy for that." Beck replies with a smile on his face, hoping that Andre still buys it.
"Still her, huh?" Andre bluntly asks and it leaves Beck defeated, no choice but to tell his friend the truth.
"Yeah." He speaks softly, almost like a whisper. His answer like a secret, hidden deeply in him, but forced to surface. Andre pats Beck's shoulder, showing sympathy.
"Hey, maybe it's time to move on." Andre tells Beck as he sipped his coffee.
"You think I haven't tried?"
"Beck, my grandma once told me -when she hasn't gone nuts yet- that ***a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor." Andre speaks. "It's up to you how to take it, but I think it means that a relationship would not be strong without facing difficulties. Maybe if you guys really are for each other, she'll come back to you and then both of you will know how to have a stronger connection. You both will have a stronger relationship."
"Trials and tribulations." Beck whispers. "I do hope she comes back, Andre."
"She probably will." Andre senses the heavy atmosphere and changes the subject. "So tell me about the busy life of an international star." He quickly sees Beck's appreciative smile.
...
It was tough and took her a long time weighing the pros and cons, but Jade found herself booking a three and a half week vacation to Hawaii. Already spending half of her vacation, Jade figures to enjoy the sun, maybe sun tan a little. She bought a new book just two days ago in a local bookshop and is excited to read it. She also bought a really nice bikini in a dark blue colour and is ecstatic to wear it. Jade finds a nice spot at the beach and settles her things. Her beach bag was in front of her, under her beach umbrella. She pulls out her sun screen and squeezes a generous amount on her palm and she applies it all over her body. She goes for a second coat, because she figures that she doesn't want to look like a tomato after sun tanning since she is pasty. She unfolds the beach towel and lies on it. Jade nearly forgot to put her sunnies on before holding the book up.
So far, Jade has been enjoying her vacation. She really deserves this. Getting toasted under the sun is definitely more entartaining than doing paperwork. She rememebers the jacuzzi she thoroughly enjoyed in a party she once attended to in high school. She felt like the main ingredient of a human soup made by giant witches. She grins, her thoughts distracting her from reading.
Jade really did miss Hawaii. She missed how the waves of water kisses the shore, how the winds blew warm air at cool nights. She missed how the palm trees gave natural shade that she can never find in New York. She isn't even sure if trees still exist in New York. She enjoys how close to nature she feels when she's in Hawaii. She remembers how the sun would kiss the sea at sunset, as if to say good bye and how the moon kisses the sea hello. A smile is abruptly seen on her face. Oh, she sure does remember the sunsets. How can she forget when she saw it in his eyes all the time.
Great, now she's missing him again. Does this ever end? She's not sure, but all she knows is that she'd love to run her hand through his fluffy hair one more time and see him laugh genuinely at a joke she said. She'd love to see his eyebrow arch when she makes a suggestive comment or stares at her in awe as she sings. Maybe she wants him here beside her, painting some sort of galaxy. Maybe she'd ask him why he's drawing another galaxy again, though she knows the answer, just because she like to hear his voice. And maybe, you know, just maybe, she wants to apologise for the pain she cause him and kiss him with all her being.
Maybe.
Definitely maybe.
Jade shifts to change her position to get an even tan. Her back is now facing the sun and her face casts a shadow that covers a small portion of the page she's reading. So far so good, she thinks, the book is actually good and it doesn't consist blood. That's very rare for Jade. She usually goes for those bloody novels, dark stories and now, she's holding a book about two people finding their inner peace amongst each other in the most platonic way possible. She continues reading and suddenly the page gets fully covered by a shadow. She doesn't fuzz about it at first, thinking that the person would probably go away in a minute, but it never did. She groans, waiting a little more, but quickly loses her patience.
"Maybe you can use your brain and-" She stops herself from taking when the person faces her. The switch in her heart turns on and suddenly she's feeling too much at the moment. Her heart is beating incredibly fast, drumming out of her chest, her breath is stuck somewhere in her lungs and her eyes that held galaxies widens. Her draw drops and she tries to continue speaking, but nothing's coming out. It isn't always that she's speechless and she's sure she looks like an idiot right now, but he's right in front of her, finally reachable. She's feeling too much, way too much and her eyes become glossy. She bites her lower lip to stop herself from crying.
The internal clock counting the minutes since she last saw him finally comes to a halt.
Beck is suddenly so confused. One minute he's talking to his manager on the phone and stopping at a random spot at the beach as it has a better connection, the next minute he drops his phone and is faced by the most beautiful person he has ever seen. She's still completely captivating, her features still the same, although she lost some weight. Suddenly his body craves her, his skin wants to feel her skin. He wants to engrave every inch of her skin inside his eyes, the feel of it mapped into memories surrounding his hands and lips. All he could feel is happiness, like he's gonna burst from the amount of happiness claiming his body right now. Not a single one of his awards compare to the warmth given by the woman standing in front of him. Beck sees a flushed part of her skin and he figures that she's been sun bathing. He wants to touch the flushed part of her skin, but was terrified that if he got too close, she would vanish. Finally breaking the deafening silence, Beck decides to speak.
"Jade." He says, her name falling out of his mouth like a falling star and in that moment it felt as if his heart did not belong to him. It belongs to her. She sucks in a deep breath at the sound of her name. It sounds different on his tongue, serene and honest. It sounds exquisite like one of his paintings translated into an orchestra. His voice is a deep, rumbling tone, something she has not heard in years.
Apparently, one word is enough for their hearts to understand what they need the most. He quickly embraces her tightly, arms wrap around her waist. Hers is around his neck and she nuzzles her head on the crook of it too. She inhales his scent and her feels her tears fall. She missed his scent, his body... Him. She feels so protected, so safe and she doesn't care about anything at the moment. The waves and the swaying leaves seem to stop moving, the people seem to freeze. It seems like they were the only ones moving, the only ones alive. I feel alive. Everybody else seem to diminish, like only the two of them are existing and it didn't really bother her if a volcano suddenly erupts, because she's finally happy again.
He can't find words to describe how he's feeling right now. All he knows is that his heart misses beating this fast and that he misses feeling shivers run down his spine when her skin touches his. Beck's so glad, so thankful that they're given a second chance in love, a second chance to be together. He knows that this time he really won't let her go no matter what happens. He knows he's willing to give up his fame and career, everything just to be with her. His soaked phone is the last thought in his mind as he kisses her forehead. I love you. He pulls away just a little to see her face. He isn't entirely sure if they're automatically together now, because he doesn't know if she still feels the same way or feels as strong as he feels about her. He wants to take things slow this time, because even if they may be busy, he knows they'll find time for this, for them.
"Do you want to grab some coffee?"
*A quote adapted from Debra Cox.
**A quote adapted from John Green.
***A quote adapted from an Old English Proverb
Please let me know your thoughts about this chapter. Thanks for reading! :)