Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroko no Basuke, it is owned by Fujimaki Tadatoshi


Five Tips on How to Stay Sane as the Kaijou Basketball Manager

By: Yamasaki, Meika (F) 2nd Year Student

Special Skill: Handling Kise Ryota and his fans.


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1. Have a tolerance for loud extroverts.

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Yamasaki, Meika didn't particularly like people.

She didn't like crowds, she didn't like small talk, and she didn't like loud noises.

Instead she was extremely fond of video games, going to movies by herself, and reading. The silence never bothered her. Neither did doing things alone, she might have even preferred it.

People, specifically arrogant and stupid people, stressed her out. But what stressed her out the most, was being touched.

Meika was not a fun person to be around when she was stressed out.

However it was puzzling that Meika could tolerate her mother's personality which was a sharp contrast from her own. Her mother was energetic, and a bit upset sometimes that her daughter didn't like to go out much.

But all the same she didn't press Meika to further her social sphere, as her daughter was much like the husband she married. It was a wonder how Meika's exuberant mother and introvert father, had gotten together in the first place.

However her mother's personality wasn't what increased her tolerance for the loud and enthusiastic, instead it was her mother's boisterous side of the family who liked to visit.

The Hayakawa line was the bane of Meika's existence.

"AUNTIE, HAPPY BUUUURTHDAY. MAYYOUHAVEANOTHERWONDERFULYEARFILLEDWITHHAPPINESS!"

"Why thank you," her mother smiled sweetly as she ruffled her cousin's hair affectionately. The black haired girl cringed at the boy's loudness and looked longingly at her father who was quietly conversing with her uncle.

Meika's aunt smiled, not noticing the girl's reluctance to hold a conversation, as she tried to get the girl to talk more, "What club are you part of? Mitsuhiro says you always disappear after school!"

The loud brown haired boy slightly shrank back when his cousin glared at him as she replied to his mother.

"Going home club."

"Oh dear!" Her Aunt cried, slightly scandalized at her niece's answer. "A young lady such as yourself should broaden your horizons and socialize more!"

"No Auntie, it's okay-" She stated rather blandly.

"I know just the thing too!" The adult said happily, largely ignoring the other girl's frown of displeasure.

"Mitsuhiro has been saying his club needs a new manager, you would be perfect. Don't you think she should do it?" Her aunt addressed her mother.

Mrs. Yamasaki smiled widely at her sister's suggestion, "I think that's a wonderful idea! It would make me so happy darling, it would be the best birthday present ever!"

The girl openly grimaced at her mother's request. However upon seeing the bright and hopeful look on the woman's face, the girl gave in.

"Fine."

How bad could it be?

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2. Treat people as NPCs, it helps with ignoring idiotic comments.

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Meika had long gotten used to how loud her cousin could be, as she always opted to ignore him a majority of the time. It was like she had been able to develop a mental mute button for him, since the never to be spoken about again ice-cream incident when they were seven. However the tolerance could have also been attributed to how Mitsuhiro had often experienced how frightening his ice queen of a cousin became when she was pushed to the limit.

But mostly it helped that she likened her cousin's existence to that of a pet monkey.

The same couldn't be said about the boy's teammates.

When Meika was first introduced to Kasamatsu, Yukio, she thought he was a bit annoying. The boy would blush and stutter whenever she addressed him, resulting in her staying after school longer than necessary because she couldn't decipher the jumbled mess of words he was spouting. The blue eyed boy also seemed to have the ability to be as loud as Mitsuhiro when he was scolding someone from the club. Meika was unfortunate enough to be standing near him when he bulldozed a flirtatious Moriyama with a strong kick. He had reprimanded the boy so loudly rendering the angry girl to have trouble hearing for a few seconds.

But other than that the black haired boy never bothered her, it was the only quality she liked about him.

The only members Meika got along with were Nakamura, Shinya and Kobori, Koji.

The bespectacled, Nakamura, had at first been Meika's classmate. She found him tolerable as he was amiable, but not overly friendly. However after talking together in class one day, Meika and the shooting guard quickly bonded. They were into the same MMORPG games and had exchanged game IDs. He was probably the only player she talked to out of club activities besides her cousin.

Whereas she got along with Kobori-senpai because there was nothing about him that she could dislike. He was always the calmest person on the court. He never yelled, and he never drew attention to himself. The spiky haired boy and her had a good player-manager relationship.

She could deal with Mitsuhiro and the rest of the Kaijou basketball team, but there was one player that was a bit too difficult for her to handle.

Yoshitaka, Moriyama.

The black-haired girl abhorred the tall upperclassman who didn't have the words 'personal space' in his vocabulary.

It became routine for Meika to walk into the Kaijou gymnasium after school, and deflect a flirtatious Moriyama with her clipboard.

The injured tall boy only bent on one knee and grasped the girl's hand in his own, "Meika-chan, you are a flower among thorns!"

"Shut up." She looked at him with slight disdain as she pulled her hand away.

He withered slightly, "Yes ma'am."

She sighed, she wished the boy had been born with a skip button so she could skip his flirty monologues like NPCs in games.

But despite this annoyance Meika fell into a routine day after day, and realized being the basketball manager wasn't as bad as she thought it would be.

Her freshman year passed by quickly.

But as her second year rolled by, someone completely unbearable appeared.

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3. Fear is the best way to rule.

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Her first impression of the blond model was contempt. As Meika had approached him about the basketball club on the first day, coach's and captain's orders, she found the former Teiko player hiding from his fans in a rarely used staircase. Kise, Ryouta had mistaken her for a fan and asked if she wanted an autograph. The upperclassman could only stare at the boy with slight disdain and leave before she rounded the corner and pointed the nearest fangirl in his direction. If there was one thing she hated more than loud guys, it was obnoxious and showy guys.

From then on out, her impression of him had only gotten worse.

"Ohmygosh Kise-kun looks so hot!"

"Kiseee!"

"Kya, he looked this way!"

The whites of her knuckles became visible as she gripped the clipboard roughly.

On the court Kise waved to them with one hand, while the other hand was focused on dribbling. Excited screams filled the air as the blond boy executed a perfect three-point shot and flashed his fans a large smile.

Captain Kasamatsu and coach Takeuchi had stepped out a few moments earlier to take care of applications for inter-high. Leaving Meika to watch over the club alone, as there was no vice-captain. With no one to deter Kise from providing occasional fan service, the crowd of girls on the balcony and entrance of the gym grew larger than normal.

It was bad enough that Meika couldn't concentrate due to all the screaming, but adding to her increasing ire Moriyama would begin to crone at the underclassman's fans.

"Hey you're cute, I will dedicate my next match to you!" The tall boy said with a wink.

At least she knew how to handle the flirtatious third year.

"Moriyama-senpai," she called out.

The boy whipped his head towards her in surprise.

"Yes?" he asked excitedly.

Because she couldn't be jealous he was paying attention to other girls right?

"Shut up."

Oh, of course not.

Dejectedly he went back to the game, "Yes ma'am."

However the often bland command Meika said to Moriyama was now laced with irritated fury.

"Are you okay?" asked a wary looking Nakamura who was taking a break on the bleachers. Her cousin hid behind the taller boy, trying to be as quiet as possible.

He knew she was in one of those dangerous moods.

Meika glowered at the crowding entrance of the gymnasium, "Obviously not. Girls who go kya, kya have no dignity."

A few minutes later the girl was fed up with the crowds. She threw her clipboard onto the bench in anger, as one of the freshmen club members who was trying to enter the gym was roughly pushed by the screaming girls.

The black haired girl sauntered up to them and said firmly,"Get out."

A majority of the squealing girls couldn't hear her demand, as the model yet again waved at them.

At this point the manager was beyond furious as she grabbed the megaphone, the coach often used during practice matches, and walked onto the court.

The players came to a steady halt as the girl cut across the gym and stood straight in front of source of her headache.

Meika grabbed the collar of her golden eyed underclassman's shirt and yanked the boy down roughly as she faced the crowd.

"Listen here you annoying little minions," she said darkly as her lips curled in quiet fury. "If I see you guys here tomorrow or ever again like this place is some spawning rebirth point I will make Kise's life a living hell." Her amplified voice echoed in the gymnasium ominously.

The mob of girls could only scoff and jeer at the manager, they thought she was bluffing.

However a few days later, the blond boy looked tattered and tired as he would weakly greet his fans in the morning. By the end of the week Kise, himself had begged his fans to stay as far away from the gym as possible.

From that moment on, no female dared to step into the kaijou gymnasium during basketball practice.

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4. The manager has the right to treat players the same way the captain does.

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"Ah, wait just a sec Kurokocchi." Kise glanced at the crowd and waved his hand around as he exclaimed, "Senpai, where are you? I'm already here!"

Meika struggled to raise her hand as there was a tight pack of girls surrounding her, restricting her movements. However one of the students seemed to catch on to what she was doing as she her hand bolted into the air and she squealed, "Kise-kunnn! Right here, i'm your senpai!"

Several other girls squeaked in response, and tried to shove forward in an attempt to catch the young model's attention. As one of the girls tried to bulldoze forward, she knocked into Meika and caused the sole female Kaijou student to fall.

Meika gripped her school bag tightly and seethed darkly as she fell to the floor.

Endure, endure, endure-

"Argh!" The girl hissed in pain as she stared at her newly trampled hand.

Then something snapped in Meika's brain.

She rose quickly and shoved the girl so hard she flew into a few other students, causing a domino effect as a sea of girls tumbled down to the ground.

The girl who Meika had pushed started to stand up and retort angrily, however the girl's normally bland monotone voice flared to life in anger, "Is the reason you girls have a voice, to squeal like pigs and shriek like banshees? Or maybe it's to exclaim how desperate you all are, since you're literally throwing yourselves at a guy's feet? I didn't know all the girls at Seirin were so easy, and I thought Kaijou had it bad."

She sneered at the horrified looks she received and continued, "If you hadn't noticed this is a gymnasium and if you're not here to exercise get the hell out of here, you're being a nuisance."

She cracked her knuckles, an action her body was quite familiar with as she did them everyday to relieve the stiffness in her hands from smashing her keyboard and game controller. "Before I decide to one hit KO all of you into oblivion."

The girls scrambled and fled.

She turned on her heel, surveying her underclassmen with a look of loathing.

"Um, senpai. Don't you think that was a bit cruel?"

"Kise."

The golden haired boy froze as he realized what was coming next. Quickly trying to amend the situation he cried in desperation, "PLEASE JUST NOT THE-"

A blue stress ball slammed into his beautiful features. The boy whimpered as it bounced off his cheek, leaving a pink mark.

"I told you, not to come didn't I?" She asked menacingly.

"Yes," the blond said weakly.

She threw the electric blue rubber ball into the air in a threatening manner, "Are you going to do this again next time?"

The boy shook his head, defeated.

"No ma'am."

The Seirin basketball club could only stare, as they wondered who the terrifying girl was and how she had rendered the fearsome generation of miracles member in such a state.

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5. Breathing exercises help a lot.

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"Yamasaki," Meika glanced up from her clipboard at the rough voice of coach Takeuchi.

"Show them to the locker room."The portly man said as he pointed rudely at the students clad in a black, white, and red uniform.

She nodded demurely as she silently led the fuming players out of the gym. The black haired second year watched slightly entertained as the light brown haired Seirin coach started to rant angrily about how coach Takeuchi was a snobby old man, who was going to regret looking down on them.

The Kaijou manager couldn't blame the girl, she hated Takeuchi's guts as well.

However he was also her Japanese history teacher, a class she wasn't doing so well in. She tried to stay on the man's good side despite his insistent yelling being a source of her stress lately. It was a small price to pay if he turned a blind eye to a few missing homework assignments on her part.

As the female manager escorted them back to the court, she began to label a sheet of clean white paper to take down notes on the match.

She was almost done transcribing Seirin's information when she was stopped.

"Yamasaki, go to the other side of the court and make sure they're not slacking."

The dark eyed girl stared inquisitively at the man before he stated, "If we need you, which I highly doubt, we'll call you over."

The girl could only blandly look at the coach before making her way towards the practicing second string players.

She said tonelessly into the megaphone, "Stop gawking and keep practicing." She couldn't blame the boys for wanting to watch the game, even she was interested in the mock match. Who wouldn't be after Kise's constant praise about the ghost like sixth member of the generation of miracles.

But she was grateful for not having to take down notes on the game, she had been a little less than meticulous once and coach Takeuchi chewed her out for it. He was too much of a perfectionist for her.

She had only looked away a few seconds after the tip off, when several gasps and an alarming ripping sound resonated throughout the gym.

Her head whipped to look at the source of everyone's astonishment, and her eyes widened in disbelief at the sight before her.

The tall red headed Seirin player had the metal rim of the hoop in his hand.

In his hand.

Meika stared at the monstrosity of a boy had done, her stress levels raising as she realized she would probably have to call maintenance to fix the hoop before the coach threw a hissy-fit.

She grimaced as the trembling form of Takeuchi turned around and hollered in the voice that always meant trouble for her.

"YAMASAKIIII."

She breathed in deeply counting to four, before she slowly released the air through her mouth. The action made her feel a tad better.

"GET OVER HERE NOW."

Never mind, she didn't feel better at all.

Meika yanked out her stress ball from her pocket and squeezed.

Damn it.

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AN: I am seriously on a roll with the updates. Although this is a new story so it probably doesn't count. The updates for this story will be slow, probably monthly, Yosen is featured next!

Leave a review stating which team you want to see after Yosen! Constructive criticism and questions are welcome!