A Certain Complex Feeling
Chapter 8 ~ For You Only
Laughter from three girls filled the air in Seventh Mist.
It was a sunny Saturday afternoon and Last Order had taken the chance to go out with Yui and Mikoto.
The first encounter between the two girls had been a little awkward – to Mikoto, that is.
The Railgun always dreaded being seen with one of her clones. She had become quite popular over time as the third-best level 5, mostly thanks to her down-to-earth, friendly personality, and up until a few months ago, it had been a fact she was an only-child.
Furthermore, even though Mikoto had once thought she and Last Order could pass as mere sisters, not twins, she had soon realized that other people thought otherwise and the stares, either surprised or suspicious, always unnerved her.
And even someone as carefree as Yui could not help but notice that Mikoto and Last Order looked very similar, and in her usual way, the blonde had promptly asked whether the two were sisters – a question which had been confirmed by Last Order immediately. And after some unfortunate whispers from bypassers, Yui had also learned that Mikoto was no one else than Tokiwadai's famous Railgun.
"Wow, Mi-chan!" Yui had grinned widely. "You don't happen to be a magnet for level 5s?"
But other than that, Yui had neither commented Mikoto's status, nor raised any suspicions towards her and Last Order being sisters, and after a short while, Mikoto felt comfortable around Yui.
Just then, the three of them exited a photo booth and their silly faces on the photos caused them to burst into laughter every other second.
They walked over to a little coffee shop, each ordering a drink to sip while chatting.
"Sawa-sensei keeps apologizing to me for misplacing some of my paperwork from two years ago," Yui was currently telling the two girls. "But I can't remember anything of the sort, and I'm slowly thinking that I never handed that work in to begin with!"
Mikoto giggled and took another sip from her iced coffee. "That poor guy, don't you think, Last Order?" She asked towards her sister, but no answer came back.
Surprised, Mikoto turned her head to the brunette, only to find Last Order staring across their table towards a black haired guy. His hair was extremely gelled and styled, and a charming smile adorned his face – Last Order was not the only girl staring at him.
Yui was quick to jump at the opportunity, as always.
"Ooh, Mi-chan! Is that the type of guy you like?"
As to be expected, Last Order blushed. "N-no, that's not it, Yui-chan! Misaka just thinks that man has a nice hairstyle, Misaka says as Misaka explains the reason for her staring."
"Oh, I'm sorry," Yui seemingly apologized. "I forgot you're rather into white-haired men. Like Accel-kun," the blonde added with a devilish grin.
Last Order blushed even redder, waving her hands nervously. "Y-yui-chan, what are you saying? Misaka asks as Misaka feels really embarrassed."
Mikoto frowned. "Accel-kun?" She echoed, and Last Order quickly turned her head.
"I-it's nothi -"
"Yes," Yui confirmed towards Mikoto, completely walking over Last Order's denial.
"You see, Mi-chan really has a liking – a liking," she had to repeat herself as Last Order tugged frantically on her shirt, "for Accel-kun."
Mikoto, who had just taken another sip from her drink, spurted the liquid out.
"W-wait," she wanted to make sure while she wiped the drink off her skirt, " 'Accel-kun' as in Accelerator? Are we talking about Accelerator here? Accelerator?" She once more asked, her voice displaying her disbelief, and if she hadn't stared at Last Order as intently, she would have missed the shy nod that the girl managed to force herself to do.
"Uh-huh, m-maybe a little, Misaka says as Misaka feels a little embarrassed about admitting that to Onee-sama," Last Order said nervously, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.
Mikoto was dumbfounded.
Seriously? That stupid idiot!?
It took up almost all of her willpower not to yell these words aloud.
Even if it wasn't for what he did to my sisters, Mikoto kept frowning, there's still the fact that he's cold, and lazy, and rude, and aggressive, and... and... Just everything about that guy is totally wrong! She finally decided, the vein on her temple almost popping out. But then, she met Last Order's nervous regard, and the rosy color on the girl's cheeks, and the Railgun mentally sighed to herself.
"Are you sure that you... like him?" Mikoto could not help but ask, seeking for confirmation as she raised her eyebrow, "Like in... like him?"
Last Order shifted nervously, but before she could speak, Yui leaned forward with a wide grin.
"Oh, you bet, Rail-chan! You'd have to see how Mi-chan acts around him. She's so nervous." She had lowered her voice to a whisper, but it was still loud enough for Last Order to hear.
"T-that's not true! Misaka protests as Misaka doesn't want Onee-sama to get the wrong idea," Last Order spoke up.
"Oh, so you dislike him?" Yui asked with feigned disappointment, once more evoking a blush from Last Order.
"That's not true either..." she mumbled indecisively, and suddenly, Mikoto's features softened and before she knew what she did, she took her little sister's hand.
"You really like him." Mikoto wanted to make it sound like a question, but the look in Last Order's eyes said it all, and soon enough did the little brunette nod again.
Why? The electromaster thought blankly.
"B-because..." Last Order started and Mikoto blinked – she hadn't realized she had actually said what she thought.
"Accelerator is... Whenever Misaka sees Accelerator, her heart becomes warm and happy. Accelerator might not be... He might come off rude at times and harsh, but Misaka knows that he is..." Last Order searched for the right words, pinching her napkin, "... he really is a kind person at heart. And he... he makes Misaka smile... And he would always come running for Misaka if she was in a pinch, Misaka says as Misaka presents her observations."
Mikoto's eyebrow twitched.
That guy, kind at heart? She thought and almost let out a snort. Does love really make you blind?
Yui sighed exorbitantly. "You see, that's how it is, Rail-chan. But sadly, Mi-chan doesn't want to confess to Accel-kun." Her voice lost some of the acting, and both Mikoto and Last Order jumped in their seats.
"C-confe -" Last Order wanted to echo, but Mikoto beat her to it.
"Confess?" She resounded anxiously, and Yui nodded.
"What's wrong, Rail-chan?"
Mikoto lowered her head, flustered. "C-confessing is so.. embarrassing," she mumbled and Last Order was startled.
"Confessing is such a... such a big step," Mikoto continued. "It's not as easy as people who aren't in love say it is. All the doubt, the possible rejection... The question 'Is he the right one?'" The Railgun shook her head.
"But that's no excuse," she said, seemingly out of nowhere. "I know it's hard, and I know it's scary, but... But for your own sake, one has to confess! If you truly like the other person, then you should take action!"
Last Order blinked surprised. "R-really, Onee-sama? Misaka asks as Misaka is amazed by Onee-sama's advice."
Mikoto stiffened up, a blush of embarrassment on her cheeks.
What am I saying? As if I'm one to talk, she thought ashamed, her thoughts trailing off to a certain misfortunate guy.
Mikoto shook her head with force, only now realizing how the two other girls were staring at her.
"A-anyways, let's just..." she tried to brush away the topic with averted eyes, only to catch a glimpse of a nearby clock.
"It's already this late!? Oh no, I will miss my violin lesson!" She gasped hectically.
Both Yui and Last Order needed a moment to catch up with Mikoto's pace, but then, the girls stood to see the electromaster off.
"Misaka will miss Onee-sama, Misaka says as Misaka accepts Onee-sama's schedule," Last Order hugged Mikoto goodbye.
The Railgun shot both of the girls a grin that barely hid her embarrassment from her outburst, then she turned away and took off to catch her bus.
Once Mikoto was out of sight, Last Order turned back to her classmate and tilted her head questioningly.
"That was... weird, Misaka says as Misaka reflects on Onee-sama's behavior."
Yui could only nod, and for the moment, they stood in silence. Then, as if they had agreed on it, they shrugged and switched the topic.
"Would you like to come to Misaka's place? Misaka suggests as Misaka fails to think of another place to spend the rest of the day."
"Sure. Wanna watch a movie or something?" Yui proposed with a pointer to the nearby video store.
After a happy nod from Last Order and a few minutes, the two girls left said store with a couple of movies, heading straight to Aiho's apartment.
"Misaka is home and has brought a friend! Misaka says as Misaka enters to inform everyone as soon as possible!"
"As soon as possible?" Accelerator commented cynically from his seat, earning him a jolly grin from Last Order.
Upon recognizing Yui, the albino faintly nodded before turning back to his meal.
"Wow, what smells so good?" Yui asked as soon as she caught a whiff of Accelerator's plate.
"Is that omelet rice? I didn't know you could cook, Accel-kun!" The blonde complimented, but the esper's raised eyebrow informed her of her mistake before Last Order explained, "This was surely made by Aiho and not Accelerator, Misaka informs Yui as Misaka calculates the chances of Accelerator cooking out of his own accord.
Not that Accelerator couldn't cook!" The girl was quick to add after a glance from Accelerator.
"Misaka has already cooked with Accelerator and therefore knows that he can cook very well. Misaka just knows that Accelerator rarely cooks, so Misaka made an assumption, Misaka explains as Misaka intends to apologize in case she'd been wrong."
"As if I cared about that," Accelerator grumbled as Aiho entered the living room from the kitchen.
"You weren't wrong, Last Order," the woman grinned. "Nice to see you brought a friend along," she added with a nod towards Yui.
"I made a bunch of food, so just help yourselves. I have to leave for work now." Aiho put on her jacket and vest, and, with a friendly smile, left the apartment to the three teenagers.
"Are you hungry already, Yui-chan? Misaka asks as Misaka tries to be a good host."
But the blonde shook her head. "No, not yet. How about we watch a movie first?" She held up the bag and Last Order nodded excitedly.
"Misaka would love to! Do you want to join us, Accelerator? Misaka asks as Misaka doesn't want Accelerator to feel left out."
The albino looked up from his plate with a pained expression.
"No more movies for me this month, didn't I tell you that?"
"You only said no more going out this month," Last Order corrected him. "Besides, Yui-chan and Misaka have picked up a horror movie as well, so Misaka is sure you'll enjoy it, Misaka adds as Misaka hopes to lure Accelerator in."
Accelerator cocked his eyebrow at her.
"You picked a horror movie?" He asked doubtfully, then he shrugged his shoulders.
"Well, whatever. If it's really a horror movie and not some crappy teenager-angst stuff with a disgusting love story involved, then I'll watch it."
Last Order's face lit up in happiness and soon thereafter, they had drawn the curtains to create a fitting atmosphere for the movie, since the sun was still shining brightly despite the day already approaching its evening.
There was only one problem in their comfortable set up: Due to an unfortunate event, there was only one couch left in living room at the moment.
The reason for that was simple; Aiho had cleaned the entire apartment vigorously the other day and in her eagerness, she had managed to spill an entire bucket of water on the couch.
Since said furniture item was currently being professionally cleansed and dried, the three teenagers had no other choice but to squeeze together on the smaller couch that was left.
"D-Do you have enough space for yourself, Accelerator? Misaka asks as Misaka keeps her arms together as much as she can."
The albino jerked his head over to the brunette.
"Sheesh, stop whining like that already," he grumbled, himself sitting fairly comfortable and loose.
Yui on Last Order's other side had also seated herself snugly and she smiled encouragingly towards the brunette.
"Well, then here goes Misaka, Misaka says as Misaka leans partly against Yui-chan and Accelerator."
She had intended to say this with ease and security, but as soon as her arm leaned against Accelerator's did heat rush through her body and Last Order shot a shy regard towards the boy.
On the outside, the albino did not even seem to realize how close the girl was to him, and seeing his indifference, Last Order eased up, though the blush on her cheeks did not fade away.
On the inside, however, Accelerator's stomach was tingling and he was overly aware of Last Order's arm leaning against him.
His eyes always shot back to the smiling Last Order, and the familiar heat rose in his chest.
With an almost silent grunt, the albino focused on the movie which had just been switched on by Yui.
It was typical for its genre, with a relatively slow start to build up momentum, suspense and fear towards the middle.
While not being close to the type of splatter and shock Accelerator was used to, the level 5 still enjoyed the movie.
At a particular part, a slight grin appeared on his face.
Judging from the previous events and the usage of typical cliches, the climax should be right around the corner.
And just as he had predicted, only a matter of minutes later did both girls let out high squeals of absolute fear.
Accelerator had expected it, thus it didn't bother him that much.
What he hadn't expected, however, was that Last Order would jump in shock, throw herself over him and bury her head in his chest.
Accelerator shivered in surprise and he blinked down on the girl with an irritated expression.
"Oi." He managed to complain after a few seconds.
"S-Sorry," Last Order replied and as she lifted her head, she showed a sheepish smile. "T-That was really scary, wasn't it, A-Accelerator? Misaka asks as Misaka seeks for confirmation."
Accelerator blinked again for a few times before he grunted, "Like hell."
Now, it was Last Order's turn to blink. "But you're having goosebumps all over your skin! Misaka points out as Misaka wonders why Accelerator would have them if he wasn't scared."
"Like I said, I wasn't -!" Suddenly, the albino stopped. His eyes quickly darted to Last Order's hand which laid on his arm and a faint blush appeared on his cheeks, accompanying his quickening heartbeat.
"M-Maybe I got a bit scared," he mumbled as he averted his eyes. "So what, it's a horror movie. Sheesh, don't exaggerate stuff like that all the time." With that, he shook off her hand, hoping that the girl would buy his lie.
Last Order frowned in doubt, her eyes closely examining Accelerator. She leaned forward and after a few seconds, in which Accelerator kept looking back and forth between her face and the television, she said, "Misaka doesn't believe you. You're not the type of guy who'd get scared by such a movie, Misaka knows that. Could it be you're cold? Misaka asks as Misaka came up with a proper explanation for Accelerator's goosebumps."
Again, Accelerator blushed by Last Order's closeness, though his eyes started to spray sparks.
"Brat, stop being so annoying -" he started, but the brunette didn't listen. She got up from her seat and quickly made her way to her room to return with a fluffy blanket.
"Here, Misaka says as Misaka wraps the blanket around Accelerator to keep him warm."
The albino tried to keep her hands away, but Last Order was so determined that his halfhearted efforts didn't stand a chance.
"If you'd listen to me, you'd know I'm not cold," he grumbled once the girl had finished tucking the blanket in.
She wore a satisfied smiled, which widened into a grin upon seeing his angry eyes.
"Can I press play now?" Yui leaned forward with a playfully raised eyebrow making her presence known.
"Oh, sorry, Yui-chan! Misaka didn't -"
"Don't worry about it," Yui cut her off with a wave of her hand. She shot her friend a grin before she turned the movie back on.
After its climax, the story clearly lost its momentum, and when the movie had ended, the three teenagers sat in silence.
"Well..." Yui finally broke it with a tilted head. "Somehow, I had expected it to be..."
"Scarier? Misaka proposes as Misaka phrases her own thoughts," Last Order helped out and the blonde nodded.
Accelerator scoffed. "You're talking quite big, considering how you were shrieking the whole time like slaughtered pigs."
Last Order blushed while at the same time anger sparked from her eyes.
"Misaka didn't sound like that at all! Misaka protests as Misaka feels really embarrassed about Accelerator's comment!"
Accelerator looked up, surprised by the vehemence of her protest.
The brunette pouted depressed, still the red glow on her cheeks.
How can he say something so rude!? Misaka asks herself as Misaka feels deeply hurt at the thought of Accelerator describing her in such an unattractive way.
Last Order blinked startled when she realized that she felt hurt instead of embarrassed. She had always put up with Accelerator's comments with ease, but something suddenly had become different.
Accelerator still stared at her, his eyebrows raised. He opened his mouth to say something but suddenly, Last Order turned away from him.
"Misaka will go to the bathroom! Misaka says as Misaka tries to..." The girl bit her lip. She had intended to say 'tries to escape the situation', but phrasing that might raise questions from Accelerator's side – questions she did not feel ready to answer yet. With a shake of her head, the brunette went on, though with much less force, "... to display her annoyance properly through her voice."
And with that, she left Yui and Accelerator behind, tightly shutting the door to the bathroom.
She rested her head against the cool tiles and let out a sigh.
What is Misaka saying? She thought embarrassed.
There was no reason for Misaka to yell at Accelerator like that, was there?
The teenage girl let out another sigh and played with a strand of her hair.
What has changed? Misaka asks herself as Misaka feels lost, Last Order wondered as she stepped up to the mirror.
She had been in that body for almost two months now, and she mostly had gotten used to seeing the face of a teenager looking back at her. The hormonal changes had been a lot more confusing to her, but eventually, Last Order had learned to cope with it and she already spent days not even thinking about the novelty of it all.
But in this particular moment, she felt as if she'd been transformed just an hour ago.
She clearly remembered that first day. In the one moment, she had closed her childish eyes, then, after what felt like just a second later, opened them to see a nervous Kikyou looking back at her almost on eye level.
She had exited the incubation tank with insecure feet, stumbling like a newborn. Somehow, she had managed to pull herself in front of the large mirror Kikyou had arranged earlier. Her eyes couldn't believe what they saw, and she had to repeatedly touch her skin to convince herself of her new body.
It had been a terrifying feeling, not recognizing oneself in the mirror, and in that moment in the bathroom, Last Order felt it once more.
The brunette shook her head and slapped her cheeks.
Just what is Misaka thinking? Misaka has received so much happiness from her transformation, Misaka tells herself as Misaka thinks of all the people she met and the experiences she made, only possible through the transformation.
The girl nibbled on her bottom lip, staring at her mirrored image as if she could find out the answer to her question that way.
She closed her eyes, going back to the scene with Accelerator. She reminded herself of his rude comment and once more felt a sting.
Misaka has never bothered that much about Accelerator making such comments, so why does Misaka now? Misaka asks herself as Misaka can't understand what had changed her attitude so much.
Accelerator's image rose in her mind, and her cheeks flushed a bright red while her heart jumped in excitement.
Is it... just because Misaka has finally realized she loves Accelerator? Last Order wondered with a hand held to her chest. Then, she shook her head.
This doesn't make sense! Why would Misaka act so unfriendly towards Accelerator if she loves him? Misaka tells herself as Misaka cannot understand why her brain worked that way.
"Maybe because the administrator is scared that his comments could be a sign of his disinterest in any romantic relationship with her? Misaka proposes an idea while she cannot understand the administrator's worries."
Last Order jerked her head in surprise.
"Misaka 10032! Misaka says as Misaka recognizes her sister."
"Yes, Misaka confirms as she is once again surprised for the administrator always asking for her serial number."
Last Order took a moment to analyze the unexpected comment from her sister.
"M-Maybe you're right, Misaka admits as Misaka realizes the truth behind her sister's words," she mumbled.
Through the network, Last Order could feel some irritation radiating from Misaka 10032.
"Misaka does not understand why the administrator does not take the simple action to confirm Accelerator's feelings for her, Misaka explains as the administrator becomes aware of her irritation."
Last Order blinked multiple times. Then, she flushed even brighter.
"B-b-but Misaka can't possibly," she started nervously, rubbing her hands together in an awkward manner. "M-Misaka can't p-p-possibly tell A-Accelerator just yet, b-because..."
"Because? Misaka inquires as the administrator stopped talking."
Last Order went quiet, placing her index fingers against each other.
"What if... Accelerator rejects Misaka once more? Misaka asks as Misaka names the reason for which she'd been unable to confess to Accelerator the whole time," she mumbled so quietly that no one would have been able to hear her… Not that it was relevant to Misaka 10032, who was connected to her through the network.
The clone took a while to think about that question.
"Misaka does not know," it finally responded with the typical unmoved voice. "But wouldn't it be even more difficult to never ask? Misaka asks as she wants the administrator to stop feeling so troubled."
Last Order was startled.
Hasn't Onee-sama said something like that earlier? Misaka wonders as Misaka faintly recalls Onee-sama talking about confessions this day.
Yes, the girl nodded to herself as she remembered. If both Misaka 10032 and Onee-sama think that way, then maybe Misaka should finally take action.
She nodded once more, this time in reference to her sister's advice.
"Misaka is sorry for worrying you, sister, Misaka apologizes as Misaka realizes she had been causing trouble for her sisters because of her constant worrying. Misaka should just take action. Misaka will try to confess to Accelerator at the next possible chance, Misaka promises as Misaka still feels a little nervous, but is determined to finally speak her mind to Accelerator."
"Good," was the simple response from Misaka 10032. "Misaka will get back to her work now, so please excuse Misaka, Misaka bids her farewell as she focuses on the task at hand."
Last Order only nodded and the presence of her sister faded.
The brunette worked her fingers through her hair and let out a sigh.
"Yush, let's do this! Misaka tries to pump herself up as Misaka raises her fists to underline her words and with a feeling of determination opens the door."
In the meantime, Accelerator and Yui sat on the couch in silence. Accelerator still stared towards the bathroom to which Last Order had escaped a couple of minutes ago.
"Poor Mi-chan," Yui suddenly commented quietly, her voice a little less energetic than it usually was.
Accelerator jerked his head.
"Huh?" He made without much thinking, and Yui turned her head to look at him.
"Poor Mi-chan," she repeated a bit more loudly, causing Accelerator to furrow his brows in annoyance.
"I got that," he said, his curiosity picked. "It was 'huh' as in 'why?'."
A grin crept up on the corners of Yui's mouth, and Accelerator realized that she had been just baiting him.
"I feel sorry for Mi-chan," she managed to speak without saying anything really.
Accelerator's expression almost turned into a question mark and Yui giggled to herself.
"It must be tough for her, with someone as dense as you," she teased the albino who could not quite understand her point.
"Not that creative, Accel-kun," Yui playfully lectured him with a shake of her head. "But then again, she's just as clueless as you. You two really do fit."
Dense? He wondered surprised, his face displaying his confusion. Hard on her? And what does that mean, she's just as clueless?
Yui giggled once more.
Suddenly, the door to the bathroom was pushed open so forcefully that it loudly banged against the wall. Yui and Accelerator jumped in surprise, and as they turned their heads to the door, they saw Last Order peeking around the corner.
"S-Sorry," Last Order grinned sheepishly. "Was Misaka taking too long? Misaka asks as Misaka walks to her friends to make up for the time she'd been away."
"Mi-chan," Yui frowned surprised. "Are you okay?"
Last Order nodded as heavily as she could without it seeming forced. "Yes! Misaka confirms as Misaka wants to reassure her friend and smiles brightly."
Yui still kept her brows furrowed, but then, she shrugged. The smile on Last Order's face deepened in relief, then she looked over to Accelerator.
The albino wore a similar doubting – and, though Last Order couldn't know it, confused – expression, but the glare out of his red eyes was much more intense and Last Order blushed immediately, and so brightly that even Accelerator could not help but notice it.
His brows twitched surprised and Last Order hastily stuttered, "W-well, what are we going to do now? Misaka asks as Misaka remembers that they finished the horror movie already."
Yui leaned her head back. "Well, we still have a bunch of movies lying around, so we could watch another?" However with one glance at the clock, she soon added with a sigh, "But I know my mom, and if I don't get home soon, she'll be worried."
Last Order nodded as she understood, though her chest started to hurt. "Then you should head home soon, Yui-chan, Misaka advises her friend as Misaka is saddened the fun day has to end so soon."
Yui grinned at the compliment. "We'll see each other in school on Monday, and if Sawa-sensei doesn't give us too much homework, you could come over to my place after school," she proposed and Last Order nodded enthusiastically.
"Misaka would love to! Misaka says as Misaka is already looking forward to it." She handed her friend her bag and brought her to the door.
"Have a safe trip, Yui-chan, Misaka sees her friend off as Misaka waves goodbye."
"Thanks, Mi-chan. Until Monday. And until next time, Accel-kun," Yui added a bit louder towards the albino, who only gave a curt nod.
Last Order slowly closed the door, her chest tightening even further. While she had decided to confess to Accelerator as quickly as possible, she had hoped that Yui would stay a little longer, giving her a bit more time to prepare herself.
The brunette gulped and turned her head back.
Accelerator was still on the couch; now that Yui was gone, he had stretched himself out comfortably, and he zipped through the TV program.
As slowly as she could, Last Order approached him. Accelerator noticed her coming up from the corner of his eye, but he did not say anything until the girl stood by the couch in awkward silence.
"What is it?" He asked and Last Order twitched at his uninterested tone. She couldn't speak, no matter how hard she told herself she had to.
Accelerator raised a quizzical eyebrow at her. "Do you want to sit?" He asked.
Last Order hesitated; then, she nodded, despite that not being the reason for her nervous fidgeting.
Accelerator sighed and slightly moved his legs away. He was still spread out on the entire length of the couch, but there was enough space for Last Order to sit in front of his legs.
The girl gulped once more, then sat down hastily as if she'd been bitten by a snake.
Accelerator noticed her odd behavior and raised his eyebrow once more. Their eyes met and Last Order blushed, averting her gaze quickly.
The albino sighed again and shut the TV down with a simple click. Then, he pulled his legs out from behind Last Order's back and sat himself up.
He turned towards the girl who was anxiously darting her eyes from one place to the other, only to avoid his face.
"Oi." Accelerator snapped his fingers in front of her face and Last Order flinched.
"Y-yes? Misaka asks as Misaka wonders why Accelerator would flick his fingers like that," she asked, louder than one normally would.
"Tch." Accelerator stared her dead in the eye. "What's wrong?"
Last Order looked away with a false smile on her face. "T-There's nothing wrong with Misaka. Why do you ask, Accelerator? Misaka asks as Misaka -"
"Don't lie to me," he interrupted her, but his voice wasn't as harsh as it usually was.
Damn, what's up with her? He thought worriedly as he examined her restless eyes, her hunched over position and trembling lips. Concern curled up inside his stomach at the sight of Last Order's nervousness.
"It's no use," he explained at her surprised regard. "I can tell you're lying, so hurry up and tell me already."
Last Order opened her mouth, ready to deny herself, but Accelerator stared so intently at her that she gulped her lie down.
She lowered her head, looking at her intertwined fingers.
"M-misaka is..." She started, but her heart raced so fast in her chest that it almost hurt.
Come on Misaka, you can do it! Misaka tries to cheer herself on as Misaka feels like her heart would burst out of her chest. Your sisters and Onee-sama would want you to do it! Misaka says as Misaka reminds herself of the support she has!
She closed her eyes tightly for a moment, then she raised her head to look at Accelerator. He was still waiting for her reply, his expression a mixture of worry and upcoming annoyance.
For a moment, Last Order was lost in drowning in his fierce, red eyes. His glare sent shivers down her spine and she had to gulp multiple times.
"M-Misaka has... has something very important to tell you, A-Accelerator," she stumbled over his name, her eyes repeatedly running away from his regard.
His eyes seemed to say 'You don't say?', but Accelerator remained silent, only giving a nod as to encourage her to continue.
Last Order licked over her bottom lip, biting it strongly before she drew a deep breath.
"Misaka is... Misaka is..."
Misaka can't do this! She thought helplessly and suddenly, her chestnut eyes were captivated by his sanguine ones. Last Order's heart was beating heavily and her stomach curled up with butterflies.
Misaka has to, Misaka thinks as Misaka gathers all the courage she has, the girl decided and her posture straightened a bit.
Accelerator stiffened up with her, the worry nagging at him so massively that he was already considering shaking her response out of her.
Tell me already, brat! He thought aggravated.
For a final time, Last Order was tempted looked away; she shook her head and sent her gaze straight back to Accelerator.
"Misaka... Misaka loves you! Misaka says as Misaka confesses her feelings!"
Last Order breathed heavily and could barely hear anything beside her heart beat, and it cost her all of her willpower to keep looking at Accelerator.
Whatever he had expected from her odd behavior, it was not this.
His eyes were wide in shock and surprise, and it seemed like he had forgotten how to blink.
W-what!? What does she...? How am I...? Was all he could think. His heart raced and his hands became sweaty the longer he stood her nervous, but firm regard.
The silence expanded, and the longer Accelerator kept silent, the more did Last Order feel nauseous.
S-say something, you idiot! She thought as she started rubbing her fingers against her leg. Anything! Misaka begs Accelerator in her head as Misaka fears she cannot stand the silence anymore.
But Accelerator couldn't. He had long buried the memory of Last Order asking if she should ever confess to him and thus had never thought about how he should react in such a case. His throat was dry, his heart was thumping against his chest and his mind failed to put together even one proper sentence.
'Dense', he suddenly recalled Yui's words, finally understanding what the blonde had meant.
Had it really been that obvious? Accelerator could not help but wonder, and as if it had been waiting for its cue, his mind showed him memories of Last Order nervously smiling. Blushing out of nowhere. Touching him faintly.
The esper shivered once more, and the rest of Yui's sentence struck him hard.
'But then again, she's just as clueless as you.'
What about... my feelings? He thought with a dry throat, and while his inside was nervously active, his outside didn't even move an inch.
Last Order shivered, and she felt tears burning in her eyes.
"W-Whatever," she suddenly said with forced cheerfulness. "I-It's not like you have to reply. You don't have to do anything, we can just... we can just pretend that never happened." Her chest hurt at her words and she did not know herself how she managed to say them. She hastily lifted herself up, wavering as if she was drunk – and maybe she was, from anxiety.
"I-It's already late, so Misaka will just... will just... go to bed, Misaka says as Misaka..."
Last Order couldn't finish her sentence. The tears in her eyes were already drenching her black lashes and the girl turned away, ready to rush to her room when suddenly, a hand tightly grabbed her wrist.
She stopped immediately, turning her head back in surprise and nervousness.
Accelerator had gripped her wrist and he stared at his hand.
What the heck am I doing!? He thought, but he couldn't get himself to let go of her. Last Order's confession had set his stomach on fire and he felt dizzy – but in an oddly comfortable way.
"A-Accelerator? Misaka asks as Misaka is confused by Accelerator's behavior and feels really nervous," Last Order managed to ask.
The albino looked away, and clenched his teeth as he realized his actions.
Fuck this shit. Didn't I tell you I know nothing of love? Why did you have to come and do all those things for me? Why did it have to be me? Why couldn't you fall in love with someone who suits you more, someone who hasn't killed over ten thousands of your sisters? Why can't you see that someone like me is not worthy of love, even if it's for someone like you? He thought with shaking hands, and Last Order, who noticed this trembling, came closer to him.
"Accelerator, what's wrong? Misaka asks as Misaka is worried about Accelerator."
The albino looked up, finding his face only inches away from Last Order's. The girl blushed at the closeness, but she did not walk away. She kept her eyes locked to Accelerator, who could not look away either.
How could I be so oblivious to her actions? He wondered, Yui's 'dense' stabbing him at the back of his head.
"Last Order..." He hadn't intended to mumble her name like an idiot, but it had slipped his lips before he could stop himself.
Accelerator looked away from her chestnut eyes, and found himself staring at her lips instead. Desire overcame him to lean forward and kiss the girl that had just confessed to him, the girl that had fallen in love with him despite his actions, and the girl he had fallen for, and exactly for that kindness and that everlasting smile.
Accelerator had not realized he had leaned in on Last Order. He blinked surprised as he did, and wanted to turn away.
Is showing goodwill to others really that scary?
Aiho's words resonated inside his mind and Accelerator stopped himself mid-turn.
He thought of all the times Last Order smiled at him. All the times she would stand up for him. How she would ignore his insults and try to push him towards happiness.
Maybe it wasn't the type of happiness I sought, Accelerator thought as he remembered the countless times when she forced him to watch or do something incredibly stupid.
But she did so much for my sake. And all that she asks for is my honesty. For me to tell her what I feel...
Just what do I feel? Accelerator finally asked himself.
'She's just as clueless as you.'
He looked back at Last Order and found his heart racing again. Her face was full of worry, tears swimming in her eyes. It was a sad thing to look at and it hurt him to see her so unhappy.
I don't want her to cry, he thought. I want her to smile. I want to make her smile.
I have once proved that my powers aren't only meant for destruction. I, too, have the power to save, he remembered the day where he had saved Last Order from the virus. He had risked it all to save a girl he had just met, and that girl had proven to become the most important person to him.
If I could do that, how hard can it be to show that I can... that I'm worthy...
He just couldn't think it. Accelerator felt nervous, but he couldn't even think the word that Last Order had managed to say to him so honestly.
Once more, he found himself staring at her. He couldn't accept the thought of him being worthy of love, and thus, his logic demanded him to walk away and forget everything that had happened, just like Last Order had said, and he already stood up to follow this decision.
But his heart thought otherwise, and it took over his reason.
Not knowing what he did, Accelerator leaned forward, bringing his face so close to Last Order's that he could count her eyelashes. His eyes kept jumping back and forth between her eyes and her lips, and the hand that wasn't holding on to her wrist had suddenly placed itself at the girl's neck.
Last Order drew a sharp breath as Accelerator pulled her closer to him. Their lips almost touched, she could taste his hot breath, but Accelerator stopped pulling her in. He just held her like that, torn between what he wanted to do and what he thought to be the logical thing to do.
Last Order looked up nervously, her eyes tracing the shape of his pale lips. She waited for a few seconds, but as the albino did nothing, she did not back down in disappointment, as she thought she would do.
Instead, she gathered her courage and raised herself on her tiptoes, closing that final gap between them, and carefully laid her lips on his.
A wave of heat rushed through both of them. Accelerator stood in complete rigidity at first, and Last Order only faintly touched his lips, but then, he gave in the feeling of happiness that started to overwhelm him and pulled the girl closer.
Last Order gasped surprised, but soon, she leaned forward even more, gently moving her lips alongside his, and she raised her free arm to wrap it around his chest. Accelerator's lips were cool and soft against hers and in their short releases to catch their breaths, she shivered from the heat that escaped his lips.
Neither of them could tell how long they stood and kissed like that. It could have been only a few seconds, but just as well an hour. All Last Order knew when they finally let go of each other was that her chest was overflowing with happiness.
Accelerator's pale face had gotten a soft shade of red from the heat and while he felt utterly confused, he managed to keep looking into Last Order's eyes.
And all the nervousness and worry and fear Last Order had felt dissipated into thin air.
"Misaka really, really loves you! Misaka says as Misaka feels so happy from her kiss with Accelerator."
The albino blushed and averted his eyes.
"I... know," he mumbled weakly and Last Order giggled.
"And you love Misaka as well! Misaka says as Misaka knows it without Accelerator saying it," the girl went on and Accelerator grumbled something inaudible.
Another giggle escaped Last Order's lips and she hugged Accelerator even tighter.
"Then that does mean we're boyfriend and girlfriend right now, right? Misaka asks as Misaka is excited for calling Accelerator 'dear' from now on! You will call Misaka 'honey', won't you? Misaka asks as Misaka proposes a pet name for herself."
That was too much for Accelerator. He tried to push the laughing Last Order away from him, but he couldn't help but smile himself. His heart had been grasped by such a gentle warmth that his attempts at shoving her off were only halfheartedly.
The girl stopped hugging him as tightly and looked up with a gentle smile, and Accelerator frowned, slightly disturbed by the feelings inside of him.
"Like I would say something as stupid as that," he mumbled and Last Order grinned.
"You can call Misaka whatever you want, Misaka says as Misaka assures her boyfriend that the term won't matter."
Accelerator grumbled, but Last Order ignored it and went on, "Misaka is so excited for spending Christmas Eve with you, and Valentine's Day. Misaka wants to go on a lot of dates with you, and see fireworks with you, and share food with you, and -"
Accelerator flicked a finger against her head.
"Sheesh, don't let that get to your head."
Last Order rubbed her forehead and smiled brightly.
"But! We're boyfriend and girlfriend now after all, aren't we? Misaka asks as Misaka indicates that that's what couples do."
Accelerator looked away in an embarrassed way. He pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out one of his typical 'tch's'.
"That still doesn't mean I'll do all that stupid ass stuff with you," he muttered, but Last Order's smile wouldn't fade.
"Misaka knows that the relationship with Accelerator will be different from an ordinary relationship, but Misaka doesn't even want an ordinary relationship," the girl started explaining happily, taking Accelerator's hand with a happy blush on her cheeks.
"Misaka wants to be with Accelerator and she wants to enjoy the relationship that will be formed by the personality Misaka has grown to love so much! Misaka explains as Misaka wants to show Accelerator that she loves him just the way he is."
Accelerator blushed once again, but then, he only snorted, "Fine. Then you won't mind me watching a real horror movie now, will you?"
Last Order twitched, but then she laughed and shook her head.
"Misaka won't! Misaka will cling on to your arm and bury her head on your chest whenever she's scared, Misaka says as Misaka presents a prognosis of the future."
"That basically means the whole time," Accelerator commented cynically, earning him another laugh from Last Order.
While he turned to the shelf to pick a fitting movie, another smiled formed on his lips.
Maybe it's not that scary after all, Yomikawa, he thought and turned his head back to an eagerly smiling Last Order and for the first time, he openly smiled back at her.
"Ready?" He asked and his smile turned into a grin upon her grimace.
He joined her on the couch and without her asking him, Last Order took his hand and leaned against his arm.
Accelerator smiled to himself.
I might not be cut out for this, he thought while the movie started. But I sure as hell can try.
Oh my goodness - this has been so long in the making and now, I can finally present this to you!
Now, it's no secret that I'm a big Accelerator fan! *goes in a corner to drool in fandom at the very mention of his name*
Well, where was I? Oh yes, so I'm a big Accelerator fan, and when I read this lovely one-shot called 'Misaka Wants Accelerator to Kiss Her!' by MsMacBeth10, I fell in love with the idea of them as a couple! So lovely MsMacBeth, if you're reading this, this is all thanks to your adorable one-shot!
Another big, BIG thanks goes to my amazing beta-reader! Tetsumi Amaya from this site has helped me so much, I can't possibly phrase it - the story wouldn't be even half as good if it wasn't for his continuous support! Heck, some of these chapter were revised eight times to guarantee the highest standards for you guys.
If you ever need an excellent beta, go to him!
I was so excited writing this story, but never would I have thought that it would be this hard to pull off! Accelerator is such a complicated character, and I hope I did him justice, and that he's as in-character as he can be in a love story.
I hope you could enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed writing it! I will probably never write a story released as a full work again, though; it takes forever and I just love taking input from you guys while coming up with new chapters.
As always, your reviews are very much appreciated!
Until I publish something (which should be, like, soon), take care!