Dear Max,

I miss you so much, you don't even know. Alec and Jace are better at keeping it inside, but I'm not. I cry a lot, but surely that's understandable. It's all my fault. That bastard killed you while I was supposed to be protecting you. Sure I was unconscious, but I shouldn't have been. I should have been more focused. You never even got to have your first rune ceremony, or fight your first demon. That hurts because I know how much you wanted to be a warrior. You'll always be my little fighter. I just don't know what to do Max. I can't sleep, eat or talk really. Everyone is getting so worried.

I hope you're not watching me up in the sky, because I must look a wreck. That voice inside my head won't stop accusing me of killing you. I suppose the voice is right; technically I did kill you. I swear if I find your murderer Max you know there is no force on earth that will stop me from killing it.

I hope you're okay little brother, wherever you are. I'll see you again sometime, I'm sure, probably soon since Shadowhunters die young. I still have your toy solider. I keep in I'm my room, and speak to it. It's the closest thing to you I have left. I realised that it makes a lot more sense to write you a letter. It will never get sent, and you will never read it, but it helps me a lot. So, farewell my brother, I hope we meet again. My heart breaks as I think I will have to wait so long to see your mischievous smirks and your beautiful laughter that fills a room.

Love Iz