Disclaimer: I do not own High School DxD nor do I own Devil May Cry. I like to think that SoS:DxD set a standard for how DMC crossovers should be written; with Dante as the main protagonist. It raises my self-confidence a little to think that.

A/N: Damn you, Helltaker (and by extension, VanRipper). Damn you for reminding me of my teenage fantasy of amassing a harem of big tiddy demon girls (which coincidentally is the reason why I even got into DxD in the first place). Also, thank you, Helltaker and VanRipper, for reminding me that I would still like a harem full of big tiddy demon girls, albeit sharply dressed this time. Much appreciated.

As usual, there is a TV Tropes page. Come and contribute if you'd like to!

Mission 5: PART 2

Oh crap! Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, running, running, running!


Issei darted into an alley, narrowly avoiding the lightning bats that struck the ground he had previously standing on. Those bats were no joke! They were little and did not do much by itself, but put them in a bunch and he felt like he was getting charged up, and not in a good way! There was no need to mention that said bats could also grind concrete into dust. No need at all!

Then when he managed to get a hit on her, she grabbed his arm and… and!

She had licked the gauntlet. That sensuous tongue, alluringly motioning with the promise of sweet release, had barely trailed on the surface and that was enough to make him lose his mind! The tingling he felt everywhere, especially in a certain place downstairs, was not nice! At all! Ddraig even felt the tingling, and if the Heavenly Dragon had not been there to bring him out of his arousal-induced spasm, Issei would have lost his way then and there.


The fact that the Demon was doing all of that with Rias-buchou's face made everything worse! Every little captivating action she took – from blinking slowly to simply strutting – he could not help but imagine it as his beloved King doing the exact thing. It was having a worse effect on him than the brunette had expected.

Issei brought a hand to his chest to calm his heartbeat. This was a test. It had to be. This was merely a tribulation he would have to endure. The road to Harem King was daunting, indeed.

He remembered a moment with Dante weeks prior, before the Holy Sword incident…

"Listen to me, Issei." He had said solemnly.

They were on the hill overlooking the track and field after school. The two of them found each other after Issei had been ditched by his two pervy friends after another one of their many rendezvous and since then, they had been keeping each other company.

Dante swept an arm in the direction of a crowd of girls jogging on the tracks much like a king would to the lands he once conquered.

"The defining parts of a girl's body aren't just her breasts. Sure, they have their perks – no pun intended – but breasts aren't everything. You also have to take in the beauty of their hands, their arms. Their legs, their feet, their pits, navel, hair, neck, eyes, hips, ass, muscles, and skin- you get the idea. The allure of clothes also plays a crucial role; the spice of the main dish, if you will. The forbidden Garden of Eden that is asking you to plunder, if you must."

"But how?" He had asked with innocent confusion. "If boobs are there, then there's no need for the others. How can anything else make them better when they are already perfect?"

"O, you of little ambition." Dante shook his head fatherly and adopted a serious expression. Issei felt himself straighten up. "It appears I must slam you with some education. Let's break it down. Asses, you see, are the remaining proof that humans were once angels. They used to be wings. Why do you think our buttocks are split in two? There isn't much reason as to why there are ass appreciators out there. It ain't rocket science."

"T-then what about boobs?! How do you explain that?!"

"Boobs are the remaining proof that humans were once ancient weapons of mass destruction. They're friggin' ballistic missiles," he nodded his head thoughtfully. "Back then, they were so corrosive that fluid secreted from them could melt stone like butter on a frying pan. How do you think Cleopatra managed to charm Julius Caesar and Mark Antony? Now, they're so harmless that we find pleasure from sucking 'em out from the source itself."

Issei involuntarily shivered at the thought. The very, very erotic thought.

"I-I suppose that makes sense…" He immediately stood strong. "But that proves exactly my point! Boobs are the way to go! They're nice to look at! They're soft to the touch! They are eroticism encased into a physical form on the female body, the magnum opus of evolution as a whole!" Issei ignored the looks of disgust some passing girls gave to him as he preached, "I can understand what you mean, Dante, but you cannot sway me from the hill I've climbed!"

Dante raised a brow at the boy's passionate outcry and shrugged, "That's fine. I wasn't trying to force you to convert to something else. This is just a cultural exchange, let's say."

"Cultural exchange?" The Pawn blinked, his fighting spirit tamed for the moment.

"Yes," he smiled sagely. "There will come a day you'll meet someone with tastes opposite of yours. Or perhaps you've already met them. And to prepare for that day, exchanging ideas, beliefs, and thoughts with those that are not your own is a necessity."

This sensation… Issei knew this sensation.

It was from a moment in time in his childhood, when he, Irina, and some other impressionable children were playing together at a now-bygone playground before… everything changed. A genial old man had approached them asking if they want to hear a tale. He proceeded to espouse the wonders of breasts to them, complete with pictures and slides and a VHS box with an AV idol whose name he could not remember. Child Issei believed he had met a prophet that day. A prophet who also hightailed it away like an Olympic sprinter when the police came, but a prophet nonetheless.

Issei immediately became sour as thoughts of Vali then trail into his head. Damn ass-loving handsome, enemy of all ordinary-looking boys and men. How dare he preach so casually from the book of Hips and Thighdeology without a single care for OPPAI. In retrospect, the current Sekiryuutei would have tolerated the Hakuryuukou if he had even a smidgen of appreciation for boobs, but nope. Heresy, that's what it was.

Their conversation continued, Issei slowly becoming more receptive to foreign ideas, and Dante continuing to guide him along the way. Soon, the latter had a wistful look as he pondered, "I know you think that a harem is the ideal route to strive towards, but you also have to take into account other factors, like jealousy and envy. The girls are not gonna follow a script like those dating sims games. Rule of thumb, the hottest girl around will still poop and fart, and eventually age and become an undesirable ugly manager. Same rule applies here. Such is life."

Dante seemed to consider his next words.

"But in the end, we have our kinks. You like your breasts. I like my thighs, which happen to be attached to ass. A two-in-one deal. And then there is the mythical KFC package; all breasts and thighs. But we must always remember that every kink and fetish in this world is great, barring one that shall not be named. Every one of them is equal and we must always respect that."

Issei made a sound of childlike wonder at the profound statement.

"What on earth are you two doing?"

Rias-buchou had interrupted him. She had managed to walk up to them without the two noticing and was radiating ill intent at one of them.

"What are you infecting my Ise with, Dante?"

"We were talking about culture, Ria-tan," the demon hunter replied smoothly. Rias bristled at the childish nickname. "Men of culture must have discussions with one another to ensure their minds never become dull."

"…Why don't I believe you?"

"It's true, Buchou!" Issei stood in defense of Dante… no, his newly-ordained Sensei. "We spoke of culture like none other! We exchanged our beliefs, our passions, our tastes, and reevaluated what they meant and why we favored them! And above all, we find respect in tastes that are otherwise different from our own! I feel… I feel like there is still so much I have yet to learn!"

"N-no…" Rias stammered at his jubilation, horrified at how indoctrinated he sounded. "What have you done to him?"

"I did nothing. I just gave him a gentle push," Sensei shrugged. "You'll thank me later, Ria-tan. Ise-boyo."

He would not disappoint Dante-sensei and Rias-buchou! He, Hyoudou Issei, was a man of culture! No amount of sashaying electrotarts would slip the ever-erecting pillar that was his steadfast adoration for breasts into the gaping crevice that was this travesty he was in!


Was this how Dante felt when he first confronted demons? It had to be. It truly was a nightmare. What path did his Sensei walk that he would go so far to guide him? Such was the pain of the Bodhisattva, the beaten path that a Harem King must undertake and understand.

All the while, despite the imminent danger, Ddraig sighed tiredly. Even though his current host was quite the source of entertainment, the Red Heavenly Dragon could not help but think that this event would fuel an event far darker than even he could imagine. Like say, his reputation being tarnished and forever being known as Oppai Dragon. That would be a nightmare on Earth.

While Ddraig and Issei were in their mind mulling and reaffirming their respective resolve, they neglected to pay attention to their current situation, lightning crackling and forming above the boy, seeing him, and swooping in on him.

"You should duck."

Issei listened to the familiar voice and ducked, narrowly avoiding a swarm of bats that were close to eating his face. A knife of light flew at them and made a small, controlled explosion that eliminated them. He turned to thank the person who called out to him-

And halted at the sight.

It was someone he would not, could not forget even if his life depended on it.


There she was, standing in front of him in a… uniform? What? It looked like a uniform a food service worker would wear. Or a French hooker, he could not tell. Aside from that, she did not resemble the same Raynare he saw before. Gone was the haughty, arrogant bitch that embodied every facet Issei despised in the end. Before him was… someone else.

That left him with conflicted feelings.

"Hello, Issei." The fallen greeted him dispassionately but warily. "I would say it's nice to see you again, but then I'd be lying."

"Raynare…" Issei repeated catatonically, before recent events shook him from his weariness, "No, not now. Not when there's-"

"There you are."

The Demon's voice dripped with so much euphoria that it made Issei shiver unwillingly. She glided down from the air and landed slowly, gracefully. She slinked towards him and Raynare, the slow grace of an apex predator evident in every sway of her hips. The demon in black breathed in…

…Then her previous expression of ecstasy shifted into emotionlessness. It was such a whiplash that it placed both of them on relative edge.

"Why do you smell like him?"

Despite his raging emotions, Issei raised a brow at the question.

"It's the pizzas." Raynare snarked at the lady Demon, motioning to the two pizza boxes in her hand. "Also, why are there Demons here again? I thought Dante killed all of them already."

"Oh! My my, my!~" Neither of the two liked the sudden excitement in the redhaired demon's voice, her cold demeanor vanishing like it was never there. "So he is here, after all. Then, if you would be so kind, little crow… tell me where Dante is. For your trouble, I'll save you two pretty little things for… dessert."

She breathed the last word huskily. The sheer arousal enshrouded her face, making her eyes and mouth seem akin to caricatures than actual eyes and mouths. To Issei, she looked more and more like a character torn straight out of a messed-up doujin and pasted into the real world. It would have been exciting if not for the fact that he was horrified of her.

Another Demon that Dante fought before? Issei's mind was fraught with questions and apprehension.

"W-what do you want from him?"


The Demon managed to laugh lowly, with such lasciviousness interceded by coyness it was disgustingly fascinating to hear.

"Is it not obvious, dragon-boyo? Do you not hear it?" Her pale, nimble hands trailed up towards and about her breasts, her silken red hair on the cusp of revealing her nipples for the world to witness. "My bosoms beat bulbously, so fiercely at the thought of finally seeing him again… I can see it so vividly! The thought of me and him once again in an intercourse of shock and steel… the thought as I once more push him down, sink my fangs into his neck and in retaliation, he takes me like a backwater savage on a virgin princess who never saw outside her tower…!"

Ecstasy reigned over the Demon as scarlet red suffused her pale countenance hidden by her grasping hands; her entire body shivered like static sparks crackling through her body. She began breathing heavily, getting lost in her own words as if unable to separate fantasy from reality. Not only that, but her words also had a backlash on the two like a conceptual influence. Raynare, despite being decades old, was unable to suppress the blush on her face as the lewd aura emanating from the redhead basked over her.

Issei, "shielded" by his faith in the true OPPAI, managed to make it through with just a nosebleed. Just a nosebleed. The behavior faintly reminded him of Akeno-senpai, what with the lightning and the tantalizing voice, and the big boobies… wait, focus! Focus! This was a Demon he was facing! The same one that tried to seduce him away from his faith! Seducing him away by using his Buchou's face against him!


"Huuuhuhuuhohohohoh, I have waited long enough!~"

The Demon's smile twisted.

"I will claim what it is so long due for me. I will claim what is rightfully mine. If you two dare to get in the way of my nookie, then may you be taken by Lightning!"

The sparks became lightning as they danced around every inch. BOOST! Boosted Gear intoned as Issei jumped back and out the alley in caution. Raynare had the same idea, taking to the roof with the pizza boxes while making sure Dante's so-called "sanctified food" was not harmed.

I am Nevan. Lightning Witch.

Issei perked at the name.

"Wait, Nevan?!" He was quick to shout out. "As in that Nevan!?"

If the Demon made any sign that she heard him, she did not make it indicate so.

Leanan Sídhe, begotten from the Lightning Hell, one of the many Arms of my Beloved.

She breathed, her bosoms rising and falling rhythmically. 'Beloved', she said. That settled it. This was the same Nevan that Dante had been talking about. That did absolutely nothing to calm the boy down.

May Your Wonderful Souls Be Abused to Sate My Thirst.

"…Did she really just say nookie?" Raynare thought to herself, ignoring the pretentious speech altogether and focusing on the real topic of discussion. She connected the dots, recalled everything Dante revealed to her from his origins all the way to how he got to this world, and like that, her concern became completely unwarranted.

Another one of those psychos that Dante managed to bring under his wings. Devil Arms or whatever. Faintly, Raynare wondered just when she became so desensitized to the presence of beings that could easily kill her without a thought. She almost felt disappointed in herself for that.

While the fallen had that train of thought, Issei reaffirmed his previous course of action-


-and charged valiantly away, hightailing it while intent on finding Dante before he (and by association, his virginity) was eaten by the horny Demon lady. Perhaps it was better that Dante knew about this in person rather than try to explain himself.

Nevan prioritized the fleeing one and gave chase, all while giggling like a lovestruck maiden. Raynare, seeing this, decided that if she wasn't being chased, she would just go home. Protecting Issei wasn't going to affect her pay. Besides, Dante would know what to do.


"Rayray, can you be a dear and get some pizza please? Two of them, one combo and the other Hawaiian."

Vergil and the woman were now situated on the couch, the latter looking around the office-like apartment curiously. Kunou was staring cautiously at the two new strangers, re-realizing that she was in unknown territory without a bodyguard. Well, Nurarihyon technically counted as a bodyguard but the youthful old man did not bother keeping the appearance of one, choosing to inquisitively study the bandaged man instead.

"…Yes, I am aware that you don't put pineapples on pizza. Only psychos do that. It's not for me anyway. You're learning so fast, I love you. Thank you, sweetie~"

He hung up before the inevitable screaming over the line started.

"May I ask why you have a little girl here, Dante?"

Said person looked at the blonde furball and promptly distracted her by turning on his PlayStation and handing her a controller. It should keep her preoccupied… long enough, he supposed. Not forever but it was a start. Plus, she did not need more ammo to throw at him. Kunou seemed a lot sharper than she made herself out to be.

"I don't wanna talk about it," he finally decided to give. He gave a hard stare at Nurarihyon. The old man got the message, responding with a raised brow and standing up to leave. Privacy, it was.

Vergil stared vacantly at the girl. Dante, on the other hand, decided to get to the point.

"Alright, let's get this over with. What do you want?"

"I was going to talk about something concerning the both of us…" Vergil looked pointedly at Kunou, "But the first reason can wait. You look like you have an issue to address on your own."

"Don't mention it, Vergil, I am REALLY on edge, and I never thought I would ever say that."

"…Should I come back at a later date, then."

"Just get on with it, will you? It feels weird to see you being considerate."

"Right." Vergil seemed to want to comment on that but continued, "The second reason why I'm here is… Gabriel wanted to meet you, against my wishes." The older twin looked at the now-named Gabriel… and frowned. "Who gave you that… that, Gabriel?"

"Hmm?" The angel smiled demurely at him. "What is what, Vergil?"

"That. That… I refuse to call that a sweater."

Dante recognized it and bit his lip to suppress a sensible chuckle, his sullen behavior pushed to the side for now. Gabriel had taken her fashionable coat off to reveal what was essentially a halter sweater top that entirely exposed her back. A "virgin killer", he remembered it being called. A relatively outdated trend but it fit her, just as it did Raynare when he forced her into it once after losing one too many spars.

She had the aura of an angel about her, if the similarity between an angel and a fallen angel meant anything; they both had the feeling of Light about them. And since Gabriel was a Seraphim if his brief Bible study meant anything months ago, it meant that when she revealed her many wings, it would not cause her discomfort.

It made sense, said his sensibility and arousal together as one. The best fun kind of "together".

"Oh! This is a gift from the Three Custodians. It's a very comfortable outfit if I say so myself."

"I can see that. I mean, why are you wearing that?"

"What's wrong with it?" Gabriel looked genuinely confused by Vergil's vehemence. "It's made of fine material, keeps me warm from the front, allows me a better range of movement, and it doesn't cause me discomfort when I unfurl my wings and move around. Pahaliah and Raguel had always been urging me to take up a skincare routine and Hapsiel said that this top would bring out my better traits when I… they tell me that it would make me look best when I bounce in front of you. Preferably without bottom wears. I'm still not sure what they mean by that."

Dante had no idea who these three custodians were, but he had no doubt they were just trolling. Trolling Vergil, to be more specific. Either that or being the best trio of wingmen by setting Gabriel up for a guaranteed date with his brother.

"That's…" Vergil looked ready for premeditated murder but pushed it aside for what was in front of him, "that's beside the point. I mean that-"

The Seraphim suddenly looked forlorn, seemingly coming to a conclusion entirely out of Vergil's depth.

"It doesn't suit me? I only wore it because I thought you would like it… plus, it's been a while since we've been together…"

"…Very well," Vergil acceded after a moment. "We can go out together tomorrow."

Dante stared at his brother with his mouth open, realized that his mouth was open, and closed it. No one must know that Dante, witty talk aficionado, was caught at a loss of words.

"If you like, there's a pretty decent ramen cart that's open 'til late midnight down the street. I can show you later," he kept up appearances.

Gabriel beamed at him approvingly. "See, Vergil? He gave his blessings."

"It's not his blessings I'm hesitant about. It's because he gave his blessings." His brother glared at him. "You will not speak of this."

"Whatever you say, bro." He then coughed out, "Whipped."

Vergil shot a hand out to summon Yamato. Dante pulled BSAD out as immediately.

"No fighting, you two," Gabriel stepped in between the two brothers before it could escalate. Neither missed how quickly she moved, having reacted in an instant. "You're brothers. You should find a healthy way to resolve the problem between the two of you."

"I would rather-"

"Haaah… you got a point there," Dante conceded, putting away his Sacred Gear shotgun.

Immediately, Vergil had a look of bullshit detection that went amiss to the blonde angel.

"Instead of throwing down a fisticuff, why don't we sit down and have a drink? I have coffee, tea, beer, and some whiskey. Hell, pizza's coming while we're at it. While we wait, we can talk about laying down our arms, meeting at the table of peace like proper men where we can work together towards an ideal relationship between brother and brother."

"That sounds wonderful!" The Seraphim smiled cheerfully, happy that Dante was eager to mend the situation. Vergil, on the other hand, waited for his brother to continue.

"…A relationship that's ideal, because I'd have poisoned Vergil's food at the table, stabbed him in the eye with a fork, and made off with his wallet into the sunrise while he suffers from dysentery, because that's how I roll. Red rules. Suck it, Blue."

There it was. The woman's happiness diminished quickly, a bit distraught by the seemingly unprovoked aggression.

"You see, Gabriel? This was why I advised against meeting him. He may have given his blessings, but peace was never an option."

"It was always red versus blue, dear older brother."

"But why, you two?" Gabriel had a frown that fully displayed her disapproval at the brother's bickering. "Why must you two always fight each other? Can't you two come to an agreement? Can't you hug and consummate your tacit love for each other?"

Gabriel had a flash of inspiration.

"Like, like in that one show! Boku no-"

Dante was all too familiar with that title and thus-

"Woah, woah! What kind of messed up anime have you been watching, woman?! I may want to get along with Vergil, but not THAT intimately!"

"…That would be her followers' fault," Vergil admitted with a sullen expression.

"Can you really fault Hapsiel, Raguel, and Pahalial for wanting to help?"

"Gabriel." Vergil glared directly into the Archangel's eyes. To Dante's immense amusement despite his earlier revulsion, the blonde woman seemed really happy to be directly paid attention to, "They pose every hour, their bodies are nearly naked every day, and they are several different shades of "questionable" when they walk and talk every minute. I don't need to talk about how much olive oil they use daily. I highly doubt they even know what the definition of "help" means."

"They sound like a riot to hang around with."

"They-" Vergil paused for a moment. "…Yeees. They really are."

Just as his brother did earlier, Dante had a look of bullshit detection.

"What was that you just did?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"That! You just did it again!"

"You have other issues to deal with, dear little brother." Vergil smoothly diverted the topic, not that Dante would let him… or rather, Dante would normally not let him but this was a special case.

"Alright whatever, what's the third reason?" Before his brother could fill in, "Wait. I think I know. It's about a certain Demon that was responsible for us being separated in the first place."

"That was the first one."

"…Okay, what's the third reason?"

"Try guessing again. You seem fond of that."

"Being a cheeky cunt this time around, big bro?"

"What comes around goes around, little brother."

"Oh! Oh, hohohoho!" Dante felt a familiar warmth returning to him as he smirked at his twin. "Don't think for a moment you can out-smartass me. Rue this day, for you have trespassed upon the domain of Herr Dante de Klugscheißer Sparda II. Know that you have incurred his wrath, and despair."

"I am shaking in my boots." Vergil was unimpressed by the flowery diction. Gabriel, on the other hand, had reverted back to giggling like she found a new source of entertainment she did not know existed until now. Point for Dante. Advantage, Dante.

"And I didn't have to do anything after all." She hugged Vergil, the latter showing distinct discomfort that clashed with his pleased posture. "I'm so happy for you, Vergil."


"So! With that, out of the way-"


The sudden bloodthirsty laughter caught the three's attention. A quick turn of the head, and they saw a blonde foxgirl with a savage grin pressing vigorously on a game controller.

Ah. Dante had left DOOM in the PlayStation. That would explain why Kunou was laughing maniacally, button-mashing her way through the Foundry level.


And now she was enjoying the satisfying brutality of seamlessly blasting her way through hordes of demons. And from the looks of it, she was imagining all of the demons as him. In retrospect, he should have put on Animal Crossing before talking to Vergil.


In the distance, there was a thunderclap. It was not raining nor were there any clouds, so that meant the lightning was something made unnaturally. Dante sighed as he felt the familiar tingling that was associated with his lightning-themed Devil Arms and waved away Vergil's and Gabriel's alertness.

It was one thing after another, wasn't it?

Ah well. At least someone was enjoying themselves.

"I am not enjoying myself!" Issei exclaimed. He squeaked and managed to dodge yet another swarm of lightning bats coming his way.


"I certainly am!" Nevan intoned, joy suffusing her face as she chased after the Pawn. "Why are you running? Why are you running?! I only want a hug, Dragon-boyo~"

"You lie! You only want to cuddle me to the point I die from exposure!"

"Not far from the truth, but acceptable!" She smiled openly as her hands traced the air, springing forth a new wave of attack, "If you won't give me a hug, then how's this?~"

"AAUAGUH!" Issei stumbled away from the volleys of thunder-clapping bats that flew his way once more. His dodges were insults to actual dodges in the history of dodging, such that anyone watching would look away in shame at the performance. Not the she-demon. She was having the time of her life watching her new boy toy squirm around.

Partner, keep her away from me! She managed to sap away some of my power for herself. It was only a little, but for your sake, don't let her take anymore!

Ddraig sounded concerned right there.

Issei complied by running harder.


Nevan could not be any more delighted as her thoughts stopped making sense to her and chased after the boy like a hungry beast.

"I'm… I'm close!" Issei sprinted into the Kabuki district and made for land. Dante was nearby! Dante was love and peace incarnate! He would know what to do with the horny Demon lady, and goodness him, he never thought he would be doing the exact opposite of his lifelong dream: run away from big boobies.

Someone had to pay for this cognitive dissonance!


Dante studied the scorch marks left behind by who he could only assume to be Nevan. Or Alastor. Very good odds it was the former.

"I feel like karma is about to bite me in the ass, for some reason."

"Ah-ah!" Nevan zipped past Issei and stood in his path. She was already far past her patience, her eyes shining predatorily as her fingers wiggled livelily.


The brunette had a flash of inspiration and began to charge towards the Lightning Witch. She took this as a sign of surrender and beckoned welcomingly. Then at the last possible second, Issei leaned back completely in the midst of his bum rush, allowing momentum to slide him past and under the Demon's spread legs, roll back into an upright position, and continue his way towards Dante's home.

"…Did, did someone just slide towards my legs and not take me?"

He heard Nevan's surprised, almost outraged, statement and ignored it.

Nearby, a group of unidentified roamers watched with anticipation.

"Holy crap. The kid just slid under Nevan and not take her."

Murmurs of amusement and surprise sprung amongst them.

"It surprises me that we're more invested in the kid than we are in Nevan."

"Then again, Nevan had been a complete bitch in heat since we got here and vented her frustrations by electrocuting us whenever we meet up to share what we know." A quick shoulder roll and popping sounds were heard. "It didn't matter how many men and women she slept with along the way. They weren't our Lord Dante and therefore, they frustrated her anyways."

"…True that."

"…Issei still isn't home," Rias wondered aloud.

"M-mm," Asia hummed nervously. It was strange how her beloved was not home yet. It was close to midnight, and Issei usually came home an hour before so. "I wonder if he's visiting Dante-sama again. He did sleepover there sometimes when the school was closed for rebuilding. Ise-san has been making a lot of contracts lately."

Rias did not doubt that possibility. She was happy that her Pawn was out expanding his horizons, fulfilling contracts, and making new contacts as he came ever closer to realizing his dream. The Gremory princess fully supported that selfish wish, as she did with each and every one of her peerage. Issei and Dante had clearly bonded after the near-instigation of war at Kuoh, having gone fishing, playing video games at the latter's home, conversing about "culture", and so on.

…But if that was the case, she felt a bit disapproving. Dante should know by now that Issei was still a student and should therefore be home by early night. Not to mention, she felt a bit miffed at him clam jamming- sorry, shanghaiing her Pawn away from her when she felt a little invasion into her Issei's personal space was in order.

She was prepared to have Asia and her wear a naked apron and everything! She even had the lines ready, too!

It was a good thing she placed a scrying sigil onto his thumb – with his permission, of course – the last time they had their nullifying ritual to scatter Issei's rampant draconic powers, caused by his exchange with the dragon in Boosted Gear, Ddraig. After her Pawn's encounter with the Fallen Angel Governor, she had taken steps to ensure some form of protection for each one of her peerage, in case they encounter any unsavory individuals. She could not get visual feedback out of it yet, but she could hear any activity her Pawn was engaging in.

Rias activated the sigil-

'Aww, yes!~ YES!~ Hit me! Shove it all the way in, big boy!~'

'GAH! Stay away from me, foul Demon who stole Buchou's face! Your boobs shall not sway me, no matter how big they-!'

-and immediately cut the connection to leap out of her Issei's window.

"E-eh?! Buchou-san?!" Asia squeaked at the knee jerk reaction her King had taken.

She recognized that kind of tone any day, and it spelled nothing but disaster. It would have been a different story if it was Akeno, but that was not her Queen's voice. It was someone she did not know, and from Issei's testimony, someone who was apparently wearing her face.

Her beloved Pawn's virginit- life was in danger!

It had only been a few minutes since he started running with his life on the line, but even a few minutes could feel like hours when one was tired. What made it worse was that it was nearly midnight, a prime time for Devils and their ilk. He had school tomorrow! And why was he concerned about school when there's a Demon chasing after him?!


Issei panted as he climbed the flight of stairs up from a riverbank. Nevan had managed to make him lose his way to Dante's place, somehow putting him by a river. How he even got to the river, he did not know, but the Demon was coming ever closer to him with a miffed expression from below and that was all he needed to stop thinking about it.

I do not know how you managed it, partner, but it looks like you're tiring her out.

He dared to look back and clear enough, the Lightning Witch was clearly panting from exertion. Suddenly, in reaction to him looking at her, she smiled wickedly.

Or she's just faking it to catch you off guard. Look out from above. BOOST!

He saw the lightning bats about to slam in front of him and jumped back. In his panic, he neglected the fact that he was on the stairs, meaning that he was not on flat ground when he jumped back. Thus, Issei could only manage one sound as he fell back, ass first.


He collided against Nevan, causing both to fall down the stairs like a disproportionate knot, one flailing about as one's arms shot out looking for something to grab onto and the other too surprised by the unexpected event to react. The flailing ended with Issei landing feet first halfway down the staircase with Nevan upside down on his shoulders, followed by the sound of cloth being torn.

"Oh? This is-" The Demon flinched and everything was pain. "EeeEEeAHk! This is painful! What the-?! How on earth is this-?! What have you done to me, Dragon-boyo?!"


Issei was too preoccupied by the fact that for some reason, Nevan had stopped her physical assault and resorted to verbally accosting him instead. He was not taking any chances!

"I don't know what's happening, but I know you're in pain! And that means I prevail!"


And he leapt off of what remained of the stairs, did a flip for good measure, and at the exact moment he landed in front of the river in a squat, he pulled his arms down.


Nevan screamed. At first, it was in pain and then-

Dante arrived from the top of the stairs, just in time to save the day, and promptly showed off by foregoing the stairs and jumping all the way down to Issei with flourish and style.

"I heard noises and came as quickly as I could! Ise-boyo, what's going on- what the fuck am I lookin' at."

He trailed off as he took in the sight of whatever the hell this was.

"A-ah, m-my Lord Dante… d-don't look at me~"

Nevan's upside-down expression was a paroxysm of agony, arousal, joy, shame, embarrassment, and many other emotions pertaining to catharsis that managed to get married and form a menagerie that could only be found in some messed-up fanfictions. Her body shivered sporadically, predominantly her legs spread apart by Issei to reveal to the world her taint. Speaking of Issei, he was ecstatic at first by Dante's arrival, then confused, and finally horrified as he, at last, realized the position he was in.

The brunette had managed to pull off the legendary Kinniku Buster. On a Demon, no less. An act that had ripped apart what was remaining of the lower part of Nevan's dress, if it could even constitute as a dress to begin with, and probably even more than that. Prince Kamehame would have been proud at the picture-perfect execution.

Then to throw salt on the exposed wound-

"That face, the man who I swore fealty to… is w-watching me being dominated by another m-man with s-such a disappointed face! Another man who I only met today! I… I'm c-cu-cuAAAaAaaAAAAA~!"

Nevan threw her head back against Issei's body with a squeal and shivered even harder.

Um. Partner? I don't think I have to tell you, but…

Issei felt something wet on his shoulders. He looked and blanked. The hamster in his head examined this moment, decided that it was not conducive to peace of mind, and tried to shut down all facilities until everything started to make sense again… only to realize that it could not because an outside factor was making the hamster wheel spin faster, actively preventing it from doing so and in effect leaving Issei to have to process this absolute disaster of a mental management program without any protection. Poor hamster.

Huh. I suppose I should leave you to yourself for now. Call me when you're done with… this. Oh, and RESET, by the way.

Ddraig immediately cut his connection to his host's mind, leaving him to his lone self.

Dante was expressionless as he watched Nevan convulse in ecstasy and faint in her position. The brunette trembled as he watched his shirt get wet from something that was assuredly not water; unsaid was that he was partly responsible for it. This was not something the poor guy was going to forget in one night.

"…Huh." The hunter grunted flippantly. Faintly, he wondered why Nevan looked like an older Rias. It must be a side effect of coming to this world. He gave a couple test slaps to see if she would wake up. She did not. "Was this what it looked like when I won against her? I don't remember that. Oh, and um. Congratz, Ise-boyo. I think. You made a female rise to Cloud Nine without penetration. You have surpassed me."

Issei breathed shakily, unable to move his arms as Nevan remained unmoving by merit of her being peacefully unconscious, her ahegao still present.

"I… I feel so dirty and tired."

"Yeah. I know that feel, 'cept I felt it the first time I got blitzed. Come on, let's get you up before people start looking and getting the wrong idea."

"I want to go home, take a bath, and sleep."

"Yeah. Let's do that first, buddy. Oh, look. Your ride's here."

The brunette miserably looked at the top of the slope. He whispered almost in relief, "Buchou. You came to save me…"

Rias looked at the scenery. Then she looked again. Finally, she looked again just to be sure she was not in some pipe dream conjured by a combination of opiates and illusion magic. Issei currently had a woman who looked eerily like her in a perfect Kinniku Buster execution while Dante was slapping her face to see if she was still conscious. The wet slapping noises from the river did not help the scene at all.

The two guys could see the utter confusion and disbelief physically making its way through her hair and face, ultimately manifesting in a scarlet face on par with her hair.

It was quite the ride to witness.

"What the Hell is going on here?!"

Nearby, the same group of roamers watched nervously.

"Should… should we go and introduce ourselves?"

"Why would you want to? I mean, Nevan already screwed up our entire intro by doing… that. As much as I would love to reunite with our Lord, this does not seem to be a good time."

"Is it because of the girl screaming at our Lord?"


"Who's the girl scolding the kid and Master, anyway?"

"…Dunno. Master seems fine with it, so I'm good."

"Speaking of which, has anyone seen Cerberus? He's the guy who found Dante first, and now he's gone incognito."

"I got a text from him earlier today. He's taking a nap in a freezer somewhere."

"Did he say where exactly?"

"In some school, I dunno."

A collective heavy breath later,

"So, who's in favor of getting this over with and meeting up with our Lord?"

"…Or, we could explore this town while Nevan gets grilled by Master for being too horny."

The group unanimously raised their hand. And like that, the Devil Arms broke apart and went about their merry ways. Let Nevan deal with this mess herself.

A/N: Nevan. Not even once.

P a treon. com (slash) DarkAkatsuk1