If you think I own merlin or any of the characters you are wrong
He found her in the library seated at a table towards the back surrounded by a sea of books.
He hadn't known her long, only 6 months, but he knows that she's more than she seems and he has a desperate need to get to know her better. So when Gwen couldn't find her mistress but absolutely had to run to the market, he volunteered to look for her.
Merlin walked quietly behind her and tapped her on the shoulder. She jumped up in the air and turned around with a scowl on her face.
"Really Merlin, you scared the wits out of me!"
It took all of his power not to let out a chuckle. "I'm sorry mi'Lady, you just looked so absorbed you wouldn't have even noticed if I had been the library down. It wasn't very hard to sneak up on you."
A tiny smile broke out on Morgana's face. "Yes, I must confess I do get lost in books. I can't help it, they are so interesting and you can learn so much. Besides, they are a much better alternative than the company of people."
Merlin's admiration for the lady grew as he stared at her. "You know, you really are a remarkable lady."
He sees a hint of a blush on her cheek before she ducks her head and Merlin honestly doesn't know why that makes him feel so warm inside.
It's the biggest battle he's ever had with himself.
His heart is pushing at him to just tell her and it feels like it might just explode out of his chest unless he tells her soon.
But his mind keeps repeating everything Killgarah and Gaius have said. He keeps picturing all of the bad things that could happen if he does tell her and the fear of what would happen if he tells her out ways the fear of what could happen if he doesn't tell her. And he hates himself for it, but the fear wins.
"I really wish there was something I could say."
He pulls her into their alcove one day because he's tired of Morgana always catching him by surprise and now it's his turn to threaten, to make her afraid.
"Merlin, what are you doing? I could scream right now and-"
He slams his hand over her mouth and begins to talk. But what comes out is not what he planned on saying.
"I'll never understand you. Why did you join Morgause? Yes, you had magic and were afraid, but you had friends and were happy, I know you were happy! Now you're just this angry woman that deep down I know is just sad. You may be doing what you think is right, but is that worth being miserable?"
She tries to speak but Merlin's hand is still covering her mouth. He pulls it away and she begins to speak.
"You really are naïve, aren't you? I was planning on staying, I really was. But then I had to undergo a… intense medical experience and I realized that Camelot was never really home and I never really had friends. I have you to thank for that."
Then she pulls her arm away from his grip and saunters away. He doesn't know why, but he feels his heart breaking.
Why was he such an idiot? He was always doing stupid things without thinking but this sure took the cake.
He had gone out to get herbs for Gaius and for some reason had thought that the best place to go was the Valley of the Fallen Kings. Why he thought this was such a good idea Merlin can't remember, but he had gone and know he was regretting it.
She was sitting under a tree eating berries when he saw her. He was about to walk away slowly when she looked up and noticed him standing there.
"Well if it isn't Arthur's useless servant. Oh don't walk away, I'm not going to hurt you while I'm eating berries. Besides, I have a rule not to kill anyone before noon. Now come sit, I'm in need of company."
Merlin doesn't know why he does it. It might be because the way she says this reminds him so much of the old Morgana it hurts, or maybe it's because she looks so lonely and he feels sorry for her. Whichever the reason, he sits beside her.
"You're not going to shove another worm in my neck, are you? Because that hurt."
She lets out a laugh and it makes Merlin's heart ache. But he ignores it and takes a berry.
They start meeting regularly.
It's a really bad idea and he would be executed for treason if anyone ever found out, but he just can't help himself and he knows by the way she keeps coming that she feels the same way.
They never become friends again and each meeting he thinks she's going to stab him in the back, but they sit and share food and enjoy the nature and it feels good.
They are enemies, but they are both bonded with a life that weighs them down and a deep loneliness that burns their hearts and is slowly turning their souls to ash.
It is a healing of sorts. Sure they fight constantly and they never talk about before and Merlin never says a thing about his magic, but they are both creatures of deception and they understand each other.
One day things change.
Merlin goes to meet her but she never shows up. He goes back three more days but she never comes so he stops going.
He doesn't see her for two years and when he does she is unrecognizable and insane and even more twisted than she was when he had last seen her.
His heart breaks again and he thought he would be used to how evil she has become, but apparently he hasn't or he wouldn't hurt this much. He had thought she had started to change when they had met in the woods and it makes him wonder for the hundredth time what happened to her during those two years but he never asks and he soon forgets.
Arthur has been gone for fifteen years when he realizes he is immortal.
Gwen has started to grey and her face has wrinkles that it never had before.
Elyan is teasing her, relishing in the moment to get back at her after she made fun of his ageing years before, when Gwen suddenly speaks, "Merlin, I don't think you've aged since you became Court Sorcerer."
Merlin realizes she is right. He isn't as surprised as he should be; he's known on some level that this would ever since he learned that he was magic incarnate, but what he isn't ready for is still living on when everyone he loves is dead.
50 years have passed when he sees her again and it is the most surprising thing of his life.
He must look like a lunatic standing there staring at her, gaping like a fish in the middle of a forest but she just looks at him like she meets people that should be dead or at the very least looking very old every day. She smirks and says, "Missed me?" before disappearing in a puff of smoke.
And Merlin realizes that he has.
It takes them time to get over their differences.
They fight none stop for the first 100 or so years of meeting again and they certainly don't purposefully seek the other out. In fact Merlin goes out of his way to make sure he doesn't have to run into her.
But of course, one day things change.
It has been 111 years since Merlin found out Morgana was immortal too when it happens.
They are in a nameless tavern somewhere and Morgana is trying to smash a door over Merlin's head and Merlin is trying to set Morgana on fire while fending off the door and the patrons are cheering them on when he realizes he doesn't know something he should have found out 111 years ago.
He stops trying to set her on fire and moves out of the way from the door before he asks her. "Why are you here?"
Morgana immediately stops trying to crush him with the door and stares at him like he's grown wings. "What?"
"You know what I mean. How are you not dead?"
Morgana glances around her before looking at him. "maybe we should move somewhere with less people. "
Merlin's about to refuse when he sees a man staring at the door and waving his finger around and it takes Merlin a second to realize that he's trying to move it. "Ok fine, let's go outside," and he grabs her hand before dragging her out of the now door-less tavern.
He walks until they are far enough away where there is no sign of the tavern before coming to a stop and dropping her arm. "Now talk."
She smirks that smirk he has grown to despise. "I thought you'd figure it out by now."
He is very upset that she has figured something out before him and he lets the scowl on his face portray this. "Well I haven't so spill."
And she does.
The children sat on the grass, surrounding the old man seated on a rock in the middle of the woods.
"It is said that magic cannot survive forever, not without the support and balance of the mortal world. And when the people refuse to accept the Old Religion, it will begin to fall apart."
The children gasped at this. One very brave girl spoke up. "But Magic can't leave; the world would die without it!"
The old man smiled at the girl's ability to catch on so fast and spoke again, "Yes, it is true, and that is why the Old Religion will choose two champions of magic, to keep the balance in the world until the end of time."
"But why two? Couldn't there just be one champion?"
"No. Just as there is the sun and the moon, there must be two champions. One light and one dark, the champions must be opposites to keep the balance. They will fight with and against each other, always coming together to keep the Old Religion alive, and they will be the most powerful duo the world has ever seen."
Morgana realizes she loves Merlin, has loved him for years, the minute the sword goes through her heart.
This may seem like a funny way to realize that you love somebody, but to Morgana it makes perfect sense. She is not entirely sure how she comes upon this fact but she knows it to be true.
She still hates him, because how can you not hate the man who killed you twice? But she knows that she also loves him. Besides, she was ready to die the second time and she thinks he knows this or at least she hopes he does.
This all comes to Morgana while she is laying there bleeding, during that state between life and death. She is waiting for sleep to take her and all she can think about is how much she wishes she could have kissed his lips.
When she finally feels herself go and she feels nothing but relief; she is ready to move on.
Except when she opens her eyes she is not dead. She is laying exactly where she was before and her heart is beating. The bleeding has stopped and the wound is nothing but a scar and for the first time in years, Morgana starts to cry.
"Why couldn't I just die? Why wouldn't you let me die? I hate you! I deserve to die! I killed all those people, so it's only fair that I die, too!"
She has no idea who she is screaming at and she does not care. She needs this, has needed it for ages, and she lets it all out.
When she has finally let it all out she takes a deep breath and begins to stand up.
The minute she moves however, she can see lines and colors that were definitely not there before. The air before is shimmering and there is humming and if she listens hard enough, she can make out words.
It takes her a minute before she realizes that it is magic.
She wonders around for a while, picking up everything she was not able to see the first time she left out into the world and she loves every minute.
It takes her 15 years before she realizes she cannot die, cannot age, and even though she has spent years dreaming about it, she realizes that this knowledge just leaves her empty.
It takes another 15 years after this realization that she begins to piece together a theory of why she is still alive.
It takes another 20 until she is ready to test it.
When Merlin asks her why she isn't dead, she is ready.
She relishes in the idea that she has figured this out first and takes a moment to tease him about it before she tells him her theory.
"When we met for the last time in Camelot, Magic was dying. Don't interrupt me! You must have realized that in the last two hundred years it has begun to thrive again." She pauses a moment to wait for his nod then continuing before he can ask how she knows, she is saving that part for last. "Yes? Good. We are the reason."
She notices his doubting look and she rolls her eyes. Really, such faith he has in her. "It's true. It took me a while to figure out and a lot of traveling. There is a legend that magic needs life to live. It was able to survive for a while giving its energy to certain people, but then the purge came along and it got harder and harder to do this. When you were born, it must have noticed something special in you and it poured its energy into you, and that is why you are immortal." She pauses here because Merlin looks dying to speak (pun intended) and she decides to be nice for once.
He looks thoughtful for a minute before he, does indeed, speak. "I guess that makes sense, I mean I was once told I was magic incarnate. But that still doesn't explain you."
She rolls her eyes. For magic incarnate, he can be quite stupid.
"And stop rolling your eyes. It's driving me batty!"
She huffs instead. "Magic needs balance to live. You know, light and dark, hot and cold, sun and moon, that kind of stuff. I am your balance."
He does, she is happy to note, look like this makes sense. "Okay, but that still doesn't explain why it's you, specifically. It could have been anyone powerful, it could have been Morgause!" He does not look particularly happy with that idea.
Morgana huffs again. "Yes, it could have been anyone, but you choose me. And I think we both know why that is."
She makes sure to catalogue the surprised look on his face before disappearing in a puff of smoke.
Morgana decides she loves the 1920's.
They're fun, wild, classy, and just a little bit dangerous; all adjectives she likes to think describe her.
She's sitting in a classy restaurant when she feels someone slide in next to her. She doesn't pay much attention to whoever it is until she hears a familiar voice speak. "I'll have whatever she's having."
She turns in her chair quick as a flash and takes in his dark hair, high cheek bones, and pale skin.
She lifts her lips into that smirk she knows he hates. "Did you miss me that much? You could have called you know."
He breaks out into that cheeky smile she hates to admit she loves. "Yeah, but then I don't get to see you."
She rolls her eyes at his cheesiness and takes a sip of his drink.
Yeah, she loves the 20's.
Wow this was a monster to write. I hope this was as enjoyable for you to read as it was for me to write.
I've never tried to write mergana before because I'm afraid I'll mess it up terribly, but now that I've started I don't think I'll stop. It might suck but it was a heck of a lot of fun.
Ive had this idea for ages and I have a lot of other ideas in this same universe that I would have included but that would have been way too long for me to write but they may become more oneshots. I had originally planned for this to be a really angsty oneshot, but I completely failed on that front.
Anyways, I'll stop blathering now sorry if anyone is actually reading this. Review is chocolate in words and all that jazz.