"Take me to bed? … Please?"
Who am I to deny her anything she wants?
I stand and take her hand, leading her through the house and up the stairs to my room. I barely breathe the whole way, too afraid that if a butterfly flapping its wings can cause a hurricane on the other side of the world, then my own breathing may somehow cause Izzy to change her mind about this. After all, chaos is kind of our thing.
I pause at my bedroom doorway and look down at her. I don't speak, and she reaches past me to nudge the door open and push me gently through it. She closes and locks the door behind us, then she backs me up to the bed, forcing me down until I'm lying flat. I shift back up the bed and she crawls on after me, forcing a needful gasp from my lips as she straddles me and lowers herself down.
I've wanted this for so long …
The sex, when it happens, isn't romantic or faultless.
I fumble over the condom and I manage to accidentally tear her underwear. She has to tell me to stop apologizing.
I crush her leg when I shift position and she pokes me in the eye with her hair as she bends down from above to kiss me.
We don't come together, she doesn't come more than once and it's over far sooner than I hoped; because this is what I've wanted for so long, and I'm young and excitable.
However, I've wanted this for so long and I'm young and excitable, so when she continues to lavish me with kisses and touches in my post-coital glow, I'm soon ready to go again and she seems more than happy with that.
This time is better. We're relaxed, already sated, and I feel like my whole body could burst with love. She comes alive beneath my fingers, pressing her skin against mine and making sounds I'm convinced I'll hear in my dreams for months to come.
She doesn't come again, but she whispers that she wants me to. And I do. Overcome by emotion, I tell her over and over how much I love her.
She returns my kisses, deep and needy, and then I tuck her in next to my side and fall asleep, certain I've never been happier.
When I wake, I can hear my mom moving around downstairs. I sit up quickly, ready to shake Izzy awake, but the space beside me is empty and cold.
I check my phone. Nothing.
I sigh as I pull on my jeans and t-shirt and head into the bathroom. I wonder if I imagined the whole thing, but the smell of sex is strong in the air as I walk back into my stuffy room. I open a window to air it out, because I doubt my mom will appreciate it if she happens to open the door.
I try calling Izzy for two days, but she never picks up. Finally, on the third day, she answers.
"Hi," I say tentatively.
She sighs loudly.
"Edward, you have to back off."
"You left without saying goodbye. I've not been able to get hold of you since." I hear the edge of desperation in my voice and flinch. "Did I upset you?"
"To upset me, I'd have to have cared in the first place."
"When did you become such a bitch?" I ask, wanting to hurt her in return.
"Edward, we only had sex. People do it all the time."
"Yeah? Well I don't." I told her. I wasn't a virgin before her, but I don't sleep around.
"Well I do. I fucked somebody else just last night. Get the message?"
"Fuck you," I spit as I end the call.
I collapse onto my bed, my arms wrapped around my chest and tears soaking my pillow.