Contains references to the Gravity Falls episode, "The Deep End."


Heat Wave

Remember the time I complained about how unseasonably cold it was? Well, I take it all back because it so hot! And, not the good kind of hot, like amazingly attractive. I wouldn't discuss that on these Daily Dirts, since it goes without saying how ruggedly handsome I am. No, what I'm talking about is the temperature.

According to some article I read online, this has been the hottest summer on record. To add insult to injury. it feels like this summer has gone on for, like, eight years! As fun as it is being a secret agent, I'd really enjoy not sweating my banthas off.

So, to cool off, I decided to visit the public pool, which actually has water in it every day. Unlike the public wetness maker back in Gimmelshtump, which only had water on alternating Thursdays. I went to the pool, and I found the perfect lawnchair. By "perfect," I mean that it was equal distance from the snack bar and the bathroom, had just the right amount of sun and shade, and - best of all - was facing away from where this hairy fat guy was lotioning himself. Frankly, I...I didn't want to look at that.

But, then, just as I was about to claim the chair as my own...some green-haired little hoodlum was laying on it! I was going to use it, but he was laying on it! And, I couldn't just kick him off it, because he was, I don't know, ten? Eleven? Something like that! And, just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, he fell asleep in my chair right in front of me! The nerve of that kid, claiming the good chair before I could! I ended up having to sit next to the hairy guy. I couldn't even enjoy my time at the pool, because I couldn't the sight of all that lotioned-up hair and flab out of my mind!

You know, if I was still evil, I'd probably make some kind of inator to get revenge on that boy for ruining my day at the pool.

Eh, I'll do it anyway. For old time's sake. Chow, baby!