38Weeks and weeks passed, and Sophie's inhumane torture at the hands of Dr. Emelius Fluffay dragged on inside the dreary walls of Arkham. Much to Harley's dismay, Dr. Leland had to inform her of Sophie's canceled sessions at the request of Dr. Fluffay, and Harley was in agony as she waited for any news regarding her smallest friend. But, even Dr. Leland didn't know the real reason why Dr. Fluffay had pushed back her sessions. He had told his employee to simply go about her day and not worry about the affairs over on "his side" of the wall.
Therefore, Sophie's torture was allowed to continue.
The busy Gotham City life on the outside, however, carried on as usual and the clueless citizens went about their daily lives without a care or worry in the world.
One citizen, on the other hand, had plenty to worry about. Commissioner Gordon and his department had never been so busy. Behind the closed door of his office, he could vent as he liked: swearing under his breath and occasionally throwing papers around in frustration, for example. As he wiped the sweat from his brow and angrily slammed down his empty coffee cup onto his desk, he swore more loudly than he had intended to. He just couldn't help it.
The chaos and mayhem that had recently plagued Gotham City were nothing that he'd ever seen before. No matter what he seemed to do, no matter how many police officers sat, posted at different hotspots around town, someway, somehow, crooks always managed to give them the one up and make off with anything and everything they were trying to protect. It had been almost a month since the insane crimes around town intensified, but to the commissioner, it felt like it was a year's worth of battling that had been going on.
He knew those specific crooks were, of course, were none other than the Joker and the Yin Yang Twins. Even speaking their names made his blood boil. Taking a seat, he rubbed his eyes, almost in a tired daze. He knew at that very moment he had five of his best and brightest guarding a shipment of rare, priceless Egyptian artifacts on their way to the Gotham City National History Museum. He also knew that it was only a matter of time until the three menaces to society would find a way to steal them.
A rap at the door snapped him back into reality. "Yes?" came the commissioner's stiff, gruff reply.
"Oh, u-um," stammered a flustered voice on the other side. The door opened, and Harvey Bullock stood, dressed in his long trenchcoat and hat. "Just wanted to report that everything's going according to plan, sir." He took in a deep breath to calm his nerves. He straightened up immediately. "Montoya's radioed in and said they're on their way, now. About to head out with my car and tail them the rest of the way."
Usually, Bullock wasn't normally this nervous, but even he knew how stressed the commissioner had been lately, but with good reason. He and Montoya were the first two officers the commissioner had instructed to watch over the artifacts, so Bullock knew they had to keep their cool in order to keep the commissioner's cool.
Commissioner Gordon wiped his crown again. "Thanks for the report, Bullock. Stay safe out there."
"Not to worry, Comish. We won't let you down," Bullock replied. "Montoya's got Les Manoban driving, and three officers - Trunkat, Lance, and Delgado already guarding inside the truck. With me pulling up the rear, those slimy criminals couldn't get past us if we handed them the stuff!"
Gordon didn't speak, he simply nodded. Bullock knew that was his cue to get going. He tipped his hat and exited, walking as briskly as he could out to his car.
Rubbing his weary eyes, Bullock checked his holster. His gun was there, ready to go, in case he needed it. As he settled into his car, he switched on the police radio, ready to communicate. No sooner had he done it, did he get the stern voice of Montoya.
"Harvey, are you there? Do you copy? We're coming up so you better be there!" she spat through the speakers.
Scoffing, Bullock grabbed the receiver and smashed the button with his finger. "Yeah, I'm here, toots." He shook his head. "Don't get your panties in a twist, Montoya!"
"Don't think for one second that you have any effect whatsoever on my panties," Montoya snapped back.
Bullock rolled his eyes and put the receiver back on the radio as he started his rickety car. "Yeah, yeah." Despite thinking it was humourous, he knew he would pay for his little remark come sensitivity training time at the station. He knew Manoban would've also found it funny, but as the driver of the artifacts, and being sat right next to Montoya, Bullock knew that Manoban probably hadn't even snickered a bit out of fear of his life. He mumbled to himself as he pulled up to the main street and kept his eyes peeled. As he scanned the road, he suddenly saw the huge truck about to pass by. Montoya had been right. Bullock bucked his seatbelt and was on the main street. He grabbed the radio again. "Heya, Montoya. I've got a visual, and I'm about to be right behind ya," he chuckled. "And hey, don't worry, Manoban. You won't have to drive Miss Daisy any longer than you need to. It's almost over."
Montoya scowled and glared at her driver, who, lucky for him, was wearing a protective mask that only allowed his eyes to show.
"You better keep your mouth shut, Manoban," Montoya said, her voice dry.
Manoban nodded. "Whatever you say," he replied, foggily.
As Bullock drove on, he was pleased. So far, everything was going as planned. His eyes scanned around for any signs of the Joker or his gang, but there was nothing. He chuckled light-heartedly and was able to relax and recline a bit as he slowly caught up to the truck.
Bullock waved to the few other random patrol cars and merged with on-going traffic until he was right next to the huge track. He looked over and saw Montoya sitting grimly in the passenger seat.
Bullock made an obnoxious kissing face at Montoya, who made a rude gesture to him in response. She sighed and slumped back into her chair. "What a d-"
"Beeeeep!" Bullock's blaring car horn interrupted Montoya's rant.
Montoya jerked her head angrily at her partner, who just shrugged, giving a satisfied, boyish chuckle from his own car. She rolled her eyes. "Make sure you keep your eyes on the road, Manoban."
"Whatever you say," came the immediate reply from her driver.
Montoya's eyes scanned the city skyline. "I hope Delgado, Trunkat, and Lance are alright back there." She chuckled herself. "I sure wouldn't wanna be stuck in the back of the truck!" Her eyes cut back to Bullock, who was still driving beside them. "I shoulda asked the commissioner to make Bullock sit back there."
Glancing back, she squinted. Not that it would make any difference - there was a black barrier between herself, Manoban, and the priceless artifacts that were currently being guarded by three of her co-workers.
In the back of the truck, Jon Trunkat nudged his partner, Sebastian Lance. He pulled off his protective helmet and gave a huge yawn. "How'd we get saddled with sitting back here while Montoya's up there in the fresh air?" At the end of the very long truck sat the third of their co-workers. "You alright down there, Delgado?" he called, his hands cupped over his mouth.
Delgado chuckled deeply and gave a grunt, a shrug, and a wave, but didn't remove his helmet. He grunted a second time, almost in an annoyed agreement with his co-worker's statement.
Lance shrugged and grumbled his response. He jerked his helmet off his head and took a deep breath. "You think we're gonna get hazard pay outta this?"
Trunkat shrugged as well. "I doubt it. It's been pretty boring so far." He looked around at the shining gold artifacts that were placed around them. He nodded at the huge Mummy tomb. "Hey," he chuckled, tapping on the front of the tomb with the end of his gun. "How much you wanna bet there's a dusty ol' cursed mummy in there?"
Lance sniffed. "You've been watching too much TV, Trunkat." Even still, he took a long glance at the gleaming gold and royal blue tomb that was propped up beside the rest of the artifacts. He took a loose piece of gold and tossed it as hard as he could to Delgado, who caught it with one hand. "Good catch, man!" he laughed. "Looks like your minor league baseball training came in handy, huh?"
Delgado tossed the coin back like a baseball. Lance caught it, although not as cleanly or smoothly as Delgado had done, proving his point.
"Good thing none of us are claustrophobic huh?" Trunkat added, wiping his sweaty brow with the back of his hand and jerking a thumb at the tomb. "Hopefully that guy wasn't, either!" he scoffed. "Sure wasn't his lucky day."
"Like it's ours?" Lance retorted. "I could be settled in at home with a cold brewster. Instead, we're just waitin' for the Joker and his goon girls to make a move on this stuff. I feel like we're three sittin' ducks!" He shook his head. "C'mon up here, Delgado! There's no need to guard the truck door all by your lonesome anymore. We're almost there, anyway!"
Upfront, Montoya reached for the police radio that was mounted on the front. "This is Montoya speaking. We've almost reached the museum. So far, so good. Should be arriving at our destination in approximately three minutes. Over." She leaned back in her seat and gave a slight chuckle. "I don't know about you, Les, but this has been the easiest job the comish has put me on!"
There was a slight pause. "Whatever you say," Les replied, quietly.
Montoya glanced out the driver's side window, curiously. "How...how many more minutes until we get to the museum, Les? You know how bad I am with ETAs." She paused. "So...how much longer?"
In the back of the truck, Delgado clumsily climbed over the artifacts towards his two partners. As Delgado reached the other two men, he stumbled, but luckily, Trunkat offered him a hand, which he swiftly grabbed, gratefully.
"Manoban?" Montoya tried again. "Did you hear what I asked? How much longer 'til we get there?"
"Now!" Les cried, loudly. Although, it wasn't Les Manoban who replied. Swift as a fox, the driver pulled off their helmet, revealing dark purple hair and a huge, white grin.
Before Montoya knew what was happening, Yang's second hand shot out a flare of green - Joker's Toxin. Yang then slipped a small mask on over her own face, cackling. Although Montoya had been around the block a few times and knew the aftermath of Joker's Toxin should it be inhaled even the slightest bit, she lunged angrily at Yang. Unfortunately, Yang was one step ahead. She switched the truck to autopilot and as Montoya lunged, Yang opened the driver's door, and, gripping the top of the truck, swung upwards. The swift movement caused Montoya's lunge to come up short, causing her to tumble straight out the door onto the highway. Laughing loudly, Yang was able to flip herself right back down into the driver's seat again without missing a beat.
Bullock, who had been driving not too far behind them had seen the sudden commotion and swerved as to not hit his rolling partner. Slamming on his breaks, he was able to reach Montoya after she had bounced and rolled off the street a few times. "Montoya!" He threw open his door in a flash. "What in the-"
Montoya shoved him angrily as her nostrils flared. "After them! That was one of those blasted Yin Yang Twins! That means the Joker's probably gonna swoop in any minute! He's gotta be around here somewhere! Let's go!" Still bruised and out of breath, she jumped into Bullocks' car and they sped off in a chase with the truck. Their blaring sirens matched Montoya's angry voice screaming into the radio for backup.
The truck that Yang was driving jerked a bit. She laughed, evilly. "Now's the time to shake things up a bit!" she cried, loudly, and jerked the truck from lane to lane, causing other cars around them to honk and some to skid off the road.
Trunkat, Delgado, and Lance all rolled and tumbled around as well, wondering what the heck was going on up front.
"Geez! What's Manoban doin' up there?" Lance huffed.
Trunkat steadied himself and picked up a huge ruby that rolled by. "At least his wild driving makes this boring job interesting. I mean, the way it's turning out, maybe none of this stuff sparked the Joker's interest enough for him to try and get past us to rob it."
Lance snatched the ruby out of his partner's hand. "Or, maybe he's lost his good luck streak? I mean, he can't have all the luck he's been having forever, right? No one can carry out robbery after robbery without getting caught." He chuckled. "I mean, just look what happened to Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, and Sweetie Pie? The Joker and the Yin Yang Twins are probably well on their way to getting caught, too!"
Out of nowhere, they heard a quiet tapping sound. Trunkat and Lance's ears perked up, suddenly.
"Hey, do you hear that?" Trunkat asked, looking around, curiously.
Tap-tap-tap.
It continued gradually getting louder with each tappity-tap.
Lance shook his head and wiped his forehead with the back of his black glove. "We've been locked up in the back of this darn truck too long. Now we're hearing things."
The tapping stopped just as quickly as it started, and Lance held his hand out. "There, ya see? It was nothing!"
"That's what you think!"
Before they knew what was happening, Delgado pulled out a huge gun and pointed it directly at his two unsuspecting co-workers.
"Hey, what's the big idea, Delgado?" Trunkat demanded as he and Lance leaped to their feet.
Without warning, the Mummy tomb burst open and the Joker popped out, holding two equally large guns.
Trunkat and Lance didn't even have time to react before Delgado pulled off his helmet to reveal bright neon green hair and a huge grin that matched the Joker's. Both men gasped loudly, and the Joker, cackling maniacally, signaled to his purple-haired accomplice, who shot both guns simultaneously, wrapping both shocked men into tight binds.
"It's my big idea!" the Joker said, laughing so much that drool seeped from his gaping mouth. "Didn't your mothers tell you it's not polite to gossip, kiddos? You might get yourselves into a bit of trouble if you're not careful!"
Yin, now even more committed to their plot, dropped her guns as the Joker tossed her his huge apparatus. She shot the Joker's gun at the door, which exploded as if a bomb had been ejected from it. The doors flew off like they'd been held together with sticky tape.
"See ya laters, alligators!" Yin cried gleefully.
With one strong swipe, Yin hurled Trunkat and Lance out onto the street, where they tumbled and rolled away, grunting in pain as they made an impact with the paved road below them.
"Now for the fun part!" screamed Yin gleefully, her black eyes shining.
Bullock and Montoya raced just a hair behind them, their lights flashing and screaming. They narrowly missed the tumbling Trunkat and Lance. They cursed loudly as they rolled off the highway into a ditch. Bullock pulled over as Montoya jumped from the car even before it had stopped moving.
"Th-the Joker!" panted Trunkat, his teeth gritted as he stumbled clumsily to his feet. "He's in the truck!"
Montoya snatched up her co-worker by his collar with so much force that he was breathless a second time. Lance scrambled behind them, and Montoya's anger-filled adrenaline boost helped her rip off their binds as if they were made of string. All three officers jumped into the car as Bullock swore a second time, and they sped off in hot pursuit in hopes of catching back up with the crooks.
The clowned criminals weaved in and out of traffic like a bat out of a cave, but Yang had somehow cleverly exited and maneuvered their way off the highway and onto a back road, completely throwing Bullock, Montoya, and the other two off the scent.
It couldn't be said at that time just who was laughing more loudly or more maniacally - Yin, Yang, or the Joker himself. Once they had gone off the beaten track, Yang slowed down enough that Yin and the Joker were able to hop upfront with her.
"Oh, those suckers never saw it coming, did they?" the Joker yelped with glee.
"Whatever you say!" came a male voice - the same that had "spoken" to Montoya. "Whatever you say!" Yang fumbled with one hand on the wheel, while the other grabbed at what she was reaching for. Her hand coiled around a tiny silver voice recorder. "Whatever you say!" the recording repeated a third time like a broken record.
'What a great idea you had for using that recording," Yin slyly commented to her sister as Yang carelessly tossed the recorder out the window.
It rolled on the road and cracked open like an egg, shattering itself as it tumbled into the blackness.
"That was pretty clever of me, wasn't it?" Yin said with a chuckle. "Nothing like weeks of planning and undercover work put to good use!"
The Joker leaned back in his seat with his arms crossed over his chest. "Did you see the shocked looks on those two bumbling officers when I popped right out of that tomb?" He wasn't trying to brag in the slightest, but he actually was.
Yin scoffed. "Well, you know, I kind of expected you to pop out sooner, Boss. It was getting hot and cramped in that huge helmet while I hid. I had to keep my head covered the whole time as to not give myself away."
The Joker raised his eyebrow. "I came out just exactly when I was supposed to!" he snapped. "It's not my fault you kept that helmet too tight on your head!"
Yang turned the truck to the right, and they were suddenly back in the city limits, but they listened with joy as they heard the police sirens come and go, completely missing them. The bright lights of the buildings shone around them, but there was no sign of Bullock's car anywhere, either. If only the Joker knew how annoyed Commissioner Gordon had been after Montoya had alerted him that they'd lost both the truck and the gang, he might not have pouted as much as he was at that moment.
"Just get us to the hideout ASAP, kid. The last thing we need is any unwelcomed company right now. We gotta get all the loot inside and hidden!"
"What'd we already talk about, Boss?" Yang narrowed her eyes into slits. "Don't call me kid."
Yin coughed. "Or me."
The Joker, shocked at being told what to do, was caught off-guard. He quickly rolled his eyes. "Okay, yeah. Whatever. I'll call you whatever I want if I say I will." Both Ying and Yang looked at each other, but the Joker wasn't having any of it. "Now don't go and be talking about me using your secret twin telepathy or whatever it is that twins can do. There'll be none of that while I'm around!"
Yang couldn't help but laugh as Yin snickered beside her. The twin's laughs weren't high-pitched and childlike like Harley's, nor was it giggly and bubbly like Sophie's. The twins' were much more mature. Their laughs were condescending, serious, and no-nonsense, something that the Joker hadn't noticed until just then. "But Boss, how would you know when we're doing it or not if it's secret?"
Yin laughed louder, but the Joker didn't see anything funny about being made fun of. Especially not by his minions.
"Just quit your laughing get us there," the Joker grumbled. "Get us there before-"
Thump!
All three crazy crooks were startled at the feeling of something landing on top of the truck so hard that it shook.
Thump, thump!
They looked at each other, wide-eyed.
"What in the-"
Yang wasn't able to finish her sentence when she saw something huge and black land in front of the windshield. She screamed loudly and swerved, but she wasn't able to shake off the huge black thing. It was Bruce, his black mask gleaming in the light of the buildings around them. Yang slammed on the breaks and Yin and the Joker pulled out their guns, ready for a good fight.
"Party crasher!" yelled Yang angrily, as the Joker and Yin shoved their way out the window and jumped to the street. Barbara and Tim were on top of the truck, huge grins on their faces as well. It was clear that they had the three of them right where they wanted.
"Oh, if it isn't the Kid's Club here as well, tryin' to mess up our party!" Yin cooed. She remembered how annoyed they'd been able to make Harley and Sophie the last time they corned them in the Metrolopilis, so she was always willing to keep trying to annoy Gotham's "younger" generations.
"Don't worry, you'll have plenty of time to have parties when you're locked up!" Tim snickered loudly.
"On what charge, little Robin-bird?" asked Yin, sweetly, her huge gun still clenched in her hand while keeping a close eye on Bruce. Bruce was glaring at the Joker, who had an equally as huge grin on his own face as he held his gun pointed directly at the billionaire's face.
"For stealing this truck full of artifacts that don't belong to you!" Barbara replied, her grapple gun held in her hand at the ready.
"The jig's up, Joker," Bruce said, his voice a deep growl. "You may have slipped by the police, but you won't slip by the three of us!"
Tim pulled out his grapple gun as well, a huge grin on his face. "We'll gladly escort you to your first trip to Arkham!"
Yin and Yang took a step towards the caped crusaders before the Joker could speak a word.
"We won't be going to Arkham," Yang said, giving her sister a sly smile. "We prefer life on the outside. And, speaking of the outside..."
"Does it feel a little hot to you, Batman?" Yin asked.
Bruce hadn't time to give orders to Barbara or Tim before Yin and Yang grabbed two huge grenades. To his horror, he watched almost in slow-motion as they pulled the pins out and produced a slingshot from each of their pockets. Bruce was just able to grab Barbara and Tim and dive into a nearby ditch before each twin sling-shot their grenades out into the world. One grenade angrily rolled under the truck, and the second made its home into the window of a nearby building. The explosions that came soon after were so intense that the ill-prepared Joker himself was blown away by the impact. Only Yin and Yang were heard laughing as their eyes blazed just like the firey destruction they'd caused.
Bruce's first priority had been making sure that he, Barbara, and Tim were safe, and he breathed a sigh of relief that he had succeeded. Even still, the Twins had destroyed the truckful of priceless artifacts, and he thanked their lucky stars that the factory building, which was now engulfed in flames, had been empty because of recent construction. Now, the Bat Clan's new tasks were making the surrounding area safe rather than chase after the twin crooks and their boss, much to Barbara's dismay. Sirens blared around them, and as Bullock and his car of officers arrived, the disgruntled detective was ready to kick a hole into the side of his car as he came to the realization that the gang was long gone. He couldn't believe that the Joker and the Twins had not only outsmarted himself, but also Batman and his own crew and had destroyed the entire truck full of items that he and Montoya had been instructed to protect.
The words that Bullock screamed out as he watched the firefighters put out the fires on the now-burnt-to-a-crisp storage truck echoed so loudly throughout the city that Harley had probably heard them through Arkham Asylum's padded walls.
That was only the beginning in the continuation of chaos. The Twins especially made sure that they left their mark throughout Gotham City with one heist after another after another. They were so fast and so precise that even the news outlets had trouble keeping up with what they'd done. The only difference between the Twins and the normal, every-day Rogues was the trail of mass destruction they left behind them. Not only did they rob and steal, but they also destroyed. The Bat Family not only had to try and stop their crimes before they started, but they also had to stop them from literally breaking the entirety of Gotham City. It exhausted them to no end. The only relief they seemed to get was when the gang moved their operations again to Metropolis for a week, but angry texts and video messages from Kara made it clear that she and Superman also didn't want the Twins in their city, and it was only a matter of time before they came back to terrorize Gotham once more.
"Man," Barbara sighed one evening after one of her patrols. She slumped down in Bruce's chair and peeled off her sweaty mask. "Is it just me, or were things so much easier when Harley, Ivy, and Sophie were around? At least they're not loose cannons like the Yin Yang Twins are."
Tim grunted and threw his mask on the ground. He had a good mind to stomp on it, but he refrained. "I'll say!"
Each of the tiring nights the Bat Clan suffered through seemed to only energized the Twins even more to the point that Barbara wondered if they weren't somehow humanoid robots. No matter how impossible she knew it was, she still wasn't sure, and she never let her frustrations show on her face in front of Bruce or Tim. The Twins never seemed to be short of energy, or short of some new way to destroy the city behind them.
The Joker was equally as annoyed as Barbara was, albeit less able to hide his true feelings. Ever since their robbing of the priceless artifacts had gone up in literal flames, he'd been grumpy around his hideout and made sure everyone knew it. "I still can't believe you nitwits blew up the truck full of the very things we were supposed to be stealing!" he boomed, startling Bud and Lou that they whimpered and fled.
The two animals were still unhappy ever since Harley and Sophie had left, and having strangers in their house, even only occasionally, didn't make them feel any better about their missing mother and sister.
"I mean, it defeated the whole purpose of us going through all that trouble of ambushing those officers ahead of time and stealing their clothes!" the Joker continued."We planned it so carefully! We went through all of that just for you to blow everything up! And for what?"
Yin and Yang were not bothered by the Joker's shouting, and neither girl flinched an inch.
"Firstly, we are not nitwits," Yang replied, cooly. "You won't be calling us that ever again, Boss."
"And secondly," Yin continued before the Joker could sputter out another word, "we've been able to loot countless other things, lest you forget. I don't see what the big fuss is about just 'cause we damaged that truck full of dusty old junk."
"J-junk?" the Joker stammered. "That junk as you call it was priceless! Do you know how much we coulda sold it all for? What is was all worth?"
Both Twins looked at each other and shrugged.
"That's right you don't," huffed the Joker. "You wanna know why you don't? Because you're both stinkin' amateurs! You know nothing about how we do things in Gotham!" he slammed his fist down on the table. From the backroom, Bud whined as if he himself had been hit. "I run this city! I make the rules around here!"
Neither Twin made any comment, they just casually stood up. "Whatever you say, Boss."
The Joker's mouth fell open as he watched them slowly start to walk towards the door. "And just where do you think you're going? I didn't dismiss you!"
Yang turned around without missing abeat. "We've got a heist to do."
"A...a heist?" the Joker repeated, a slight gasp in his throat. "I didn't give you any heist to pull off!"
Yin's lips twitched a little as a smile formed on the corners. "We know. We just thought we'd try one ourselves...for you, Boss. You can sit this one out. Relax. We've got it covered."
Without another word, the Twins left the hideout, leaving the Joker gaping in the middle of the room, unsure of what to do, next. He knew if Harley had dared to speak to him in that way, he would've had her by her tassels and likely would have ripped them off her hat. This time, though, he only stood, a slight, quiet albeit confused whimper escaping his lips like that of his two terrified hiding hyenas.
The Twins wasted no time in leaving the hideout as quickly as they could. They did so without speaking much to each other. This had less to do with the so-called "twin telepathy" that the Joker had invented, and more to do with the fact that they were both deeply concentrating. Later that evening, after easily car-jacking a vehicle that they managed to swindle out of an unsuspecting group of teenage boys, they drove themselves to the huge convention center where they knew a huge exotic plant exhibition and ceremony for Gotham's high society was underway. For some strange reason, Yang had said, the people in Gotham were obsessed with rare, exotic plants. That very exhibition was a result of investments made by the wealthiest people in the city, which is exactly what sparked their identical interests in the first place. They had big plans for the night.
Yin suddenly burst out into deep laughter as Yang flipped off an angry driver who had tried to cut them off. "We should grab a couple of the rarest ones and deliver them to our dear friend Ivy in Arkham? We could rub it into her face that we got the plants that she woulda wanted!"
Yang grinned. "Now that's a plan I could get behind. I'd love nothing more than to see Ivy squirm knowing how successful we've been while she's been locked up with those other two little jokers!"
Yin's eyes lit up and she chuckled. "Speaking of those jokers, we could also scoot in to say hi to our cute little clown friends! I'd squish their sweet little cheeks until they fell off!" she narrowed her eyes and grinned. "I bet that would really annoy them"
Yang grinned wider. "That's also something I'd love nothing more to see!"
When they reached the convention center, they could see their opportune moment to get inside. Parking their car on the side of the street a good ways away from prying eyes, they changed into two sparkling, glittering elegant dresses complete with subtle makeup. Yang donned a blonde wig, while Yin had chosen a long black one, but it fit their outfits perfectly. At the top of each wig, the twins wore matching headbands, one purple, and one lime green, just like their real hair. As they linked armed and walked towards the huge entrance, their eyes lit up like Christmas lights.
The huge banner above the doorway read, "EUROPEAN EXOTIC PLANT EXHIBITION- GOTHAM CITY." The chatter of Gotham's Upper class buzzed outside, and as they walked inside, it only grew louder. Their hearts raced in both glee and anticipation. Neither Yin nor Yang had anything to fear, as they both knew that each and every one of their heists they'd managed to pull had gone off without a hitch. In fact, they had both been insulted on their first outing with the Joker, as he had assumed they were going to mess everything up just like his previous two jester-like companions had. After proving to him time and time again that they were nothing like his recently-fired girls, the Joker had finally accepted that his Twins were the complete opposite of what he'd lost...or, in his opinion, had gotten rid of. They knew they had nothing to prove to their boss, seeing as they always did everything according to their plans.
From the moment they entered the huge entranceway, Yin and Yang could practically smell the money oozing from each and every couple they saw, and it excited them to no end. Unbeknownst to them, Bruce was amongst the crowd, although he would have much rather not have been there in the first place, had it not been for Wayne Enterprises' investment in the preservation of some of the rarest plants in the world.
As Bruce sipped his champagne glass, he sighed and mumbled to himself. "Note to self: thank Alfred for making me get out of the house and socialize for one night." Even if he was only speaking to himself, he could clearly hear the sarcasm dripping from his words. He would have much rather been on patrol with Barbara and Tim, but Alfred had told him that he was spending too much time trying to catch the latest baddies, which he had likened to Bruce trying to grab smoke with his bare hands. Bruce knew that Alfred was only looking out for his best interests, but if only Alfred knew how boring he had felt at that time, he might have thought twice about his encouragement for a night away from the black cape.
"Oh, Bruceeeeey!" called one of the raven-haired women in the vicinity. "It's so good to see you!"
Bruce had been trying to hide out by the cocktail shrimp bowl and choked on his champagne as the woman rushed over to him. "Oh," he sputtered. "Hi, Charlotte. How...how've you been?"
Charlotte crossed her arms over her chest. "Oh, you wanna know how I'm doing, do you? Is that because you haven't called me back in almost a month?"
Bruce swallowed, awkwardly. "I-I'm really sorry about that, Charlotte. I've just been a bit...uh a bit busy."
Charlotte scoffed, even if she had no idea that Bruce had, truthfully, just been busy. She shook her head and angrily stomped away, but before she was out of earshot, Bruce could hear her final mumble of, "I don't care how rich he is!"
Yin and Yang watched the scene from a distance, and Yang couldn't help but scoff loudly. Yin grabbed her sister's arm in glee. "Oh, do my eyes deceive me, or is that Bruce Wayne the billionaire over there?" she hissed loudly. "Y'know, we could probably get ourselves...in that if we try hard enough."
Yang smiled but shook her head at her sister. "I know your intentions are anything but pure, but we have a job to do, remember? We don't have time for messing with one billionaire hot-shot." She paused, her smile melting into a grin. "Not when we're gonna mess with them all!"
Clink-clink-clink!
The loud clinking of glasses managed to calm the noisy chatter, and Yin and Yang both looked at each other, each with a new joy in their eyes. Suddenly, two lines of men and women dressed in dark green tuxes and dresses came into the room holding various types, sizes, and colored plants on trays. The people in the room gasped in awe upon seeing all the extraordinary plants, each as beautiful as the next. They were each placed on small tables around the outside of the crowd like a luscious living green fence.
"We're very pleased you all could come out tonight," Mayor Hill's deep voice echoed out of the microphone as he stood at the podium in the front of the room. It had been his champagne glass that had clinked in order to successfully get the attention of the crowd, and now all eyes were on him. "As you can see, we have a lot to celebrate. Because of all of your hefty donations to the scientific research, Gotham City has been chosen to house these award-winning plants that you have all paid a part in housing. Each and every one of you can rest assured that the plants that you've help cultivate will be taken care of as if they were made of gold."
Yin and Yang obediently applauded just as the rest of the group did, each Twin giving out an occasional nod of approval. With every few seconds of roars and applause, they took a few steps away from one another until they were almost across the entire room. They made sure to be exactly next to the plants they needed to be. Every so carefully, with each word the mayor spoke, they plucked a few leaves off a brilliant, almost neon-green plant. The more he spoke, the more leaves they plucked until they had exactly as many as they needed.
"Seeing as these plants are extremely rare and extremely valuable, we have made sure to have enough security tonight for the exhibition," Mayor Hill said, nodding to Bullock and Montoya and their group of officers. "As always, we thank them for their services."
Yin and Yang rolled their eyes at the loud cheers the police offers received as it seemed to go on forever. Yin glanced at Yang, and they both nodded to each other.
"As per usual," Mayor Hill continued. "I would like to point out-"
"Are you about ready to shut them up?" Yin called out to her sister across the room. They both quickly pulled their respective "headbands" down off the top of their wigs, which cleverly turned out to be two masks.
Mayor Hill and a few others gasped at his interruption.
"I beg your pardon?" Mayor Hill asked. "How dare you-"
"How dare I do what?" Yin asked, suddenly showcasing two giant guns with two funnels at the top. The leaves of the plant that she and Yang had been plucking poked out from the top of the funnel.
The collective gasps around her grew louder, and even more so when Yang produced her own two guns, identical to Yin's, as well with leaves sticking out the top of the funnel. Bruce took a step back, his eyes wide. Even with the wigs and clothes, he knew precisely who they were. Just before he was able to sneak away to change into his breathable spandex, the Twins pointed their guns and started shooting at the entire crowd. Instead of bullets, which the armed officers would have much rather gone up against, the guns' funnels ground down the leaves and produced neon-green smoke that would have made Ivy scream in delight. The green smoke covered the entire room in a thick fog until everyone was coughing and sputtering as they breathed in the smoke. Like fainting goats, every person in the room toppled to the floor gasping for breath for a few seconds, and then, their bodies stiffened as if they had been thrown into cement. Bruce had halfway made it out of the room, but the smoke had gotten to him as well, and he was forced to watch in agony, unable to say a word as he crumpled to the floor with the rest of the party.
Once the smoke cleared and the Twins saw the aftermath of their plan, they both burst out laughing, especially as they saw the police lying, helpless and open-mouthed on the floor just like the rest of the crowd. They both took the opportunity to rip off their wigs and relish in their glorious accomplishment. The moment Bullock and Montoya saw who was behind the attack, they wanted nothing more than to curse every word they knew, but they weren't able to move their lips even a millimeter. The only thing the green poisoned gas allowed was to blink their eyes, and unfortunately for them, that wouldn't solve their problem of having the two menaces free and running about.
"Ah, that's more like it!" Yin said with joy, giving the wig a toss.
"You can say that again!" added Yang, throwing hers away as well.
Yin and Yang also tore their dresses off and seemed much more comfortable in their own green and purple spandex outfits rather than in their evening wear. They tossed their dresses aside, and they landed on top of an older man's pants.
Yin chuckled. "Heh, don't get too excited, there, Old Man! I bet that's the most action you've gotten in a while, eh?"
Bruce grunted angrily in the corner. He cursed himself. He knew if only he'd been a few seconds faster he would have been able to change into his costume and would've already, finally had the Twins in custody. He knew Barbara and Tim were patrolling the other part of town but, being paralyzed stiff, he had no way of communicating with them. This infuriated him enough to warrant another angry grunt.
The Twins casually stepped over their group of paralyzed hostages towards the podium, where Mayor Hill was laying right where he had been standing not a few minutes earlier. Both girls grabbed him by this pressed shirt and propped him up against the wall like if he were a piece of hard plywood.
"There you go, Mister Mayor," said Yin, giving him a pat on his now sweaty-in-anger-head. She then tapped on the microphone. "Testing, testing. Can everybody hear me out there?"
There came a collective, agonizing groan from the crowd.
Yang grinned and stepped next to her sister to speak into the microphone. "Now that we've got your attention, I guess it's time we get down to business, isn't it?"
"We bet you're all wondering what our grand scheme is," said Yin. "Maybe you're thinking that we'll use you all for some kind of crazy ransom, perhaps?"
"Yes, because, why not? After all, you all are the richest of the richest in the entire city, aren't you?" Yang continued.
Giving a joyous chuckle, Yin back-flipped off the podium with ease. Yang still spoke gleefully as her sister strolled around the room, behaving much like if she were a gameshow host.
"As you can see, all these gorgeous, luxurious plants have been carefully cultivated and grown to their full potential," Yang commented. "In fact, many of you may not know that several of these plants can be preserved and used for modern medicine, and can also be used to cure a lot of our everyday ailments!"
Yin held up a medium-sized pot that held a massive black plant with pink buds growing out of it. "This one, for example, has many healing properties located in one single bud!" With that, she pulled out a third, yet smaller gun and sprayed the flowers and leaves inside the pot she was holding. Almost immediately, the leaves and flowers wilted and turned brown with a sizzling hissssss. "Oooo!" Yin mumbled in shock. "How fun is this?"
As Yang continued speaking, Yin walked up and down the isles, spraying each and every plant she passed.
"We aren't after your money, no, not at all. If we really wanted to, we could just keep paralyzing each and every one of you until you promised to pay us any amount we wished." Yang's voice rang out as the crowd began mumbling, again.
Yin's eyes lit up after each plant she watched dry up into useless, crispy little stalks and stems. "Then again," she said, casually tossing a smaller plant into the air. "It's more fun to make you all watch as we destroy all your investments!" She sprayed the plant as it fell down, and it was already dry and crisp before the pot shattered onto the floor next to her.
Yin wasted no time tossing, throwing, and utterly crushing each plant she passed. In another attempt at playing her twisted version of baseball, she tossed the plant even higher. Although before the plant crashed into the ground, a white-gloved hand suddenly caught it.
"What on Earth is going on here?" the booming voice demanded.
Yin turned just as Yang let out a quiet gasp from up on her stand.
"Oh, hello, Boss," their voices calmly answered in unison.
"Don't hello Boss, me," the Joker spat, his nostrils flaring. "I demand to know what it is you two think you're doing!"
Yin juggled two smaller plants in her hands. "We're just carrying out our plan, Boss."
Yang flipped down beside them. "Just like we told you we were."
The Joker gazed around at the paralyzed crowd. "Your plan was to party crash this place and wreck these weeds? Are you serious?" The Joker made a point to spit down in Bruce's direction as he passed, and Bruce will the effects of the plants gas would wear off so he could have spit back at him...before he threw him in Arkham.
Yin and Yang rolled their eyes, almost as if they were annoyed at such a ridiculous question.
"Boss, if you knew anything about anything," Yang said. "Then you'd know that with each of these rare exotic plants that we kill, we take down hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of the money these filthy rich stinkers have invested in them!"
The Joker's eyes grew wide, and he snatched a plant from Yin's hand. "And did it ever occur to you two twin brains to, I dunno, steal the plants and sell them for double the price rather than demolish them?"
The Twins sighed, loudly. "That's what you would have done," they said together.
"That's what everybody expects you to do," Yin added with a slight smirk. "We're just changing up the game a little! Making it less boring and more exciting!"
"B-boring?" the Joker sputtered, his eyes beginning to bulge out of his head like a deranged chihuahua. "There's nothing boring about any of my plans!" He gritted his teeth. "My plans are always ingenious! What...what did you two even expect to accomplish tonight by wasting all these living cash-grabs?"
Yin and Yang both looked at each other, and they shrugged.
"We don't need to accomplish anything," Yang replied, cooly.
"Causing chaos is an accomplishment in itself!" Yin chuckled.
"We just do things exactly as we want to do them," Yang finished.
The Joker balled his fists up until his knuckles throbbed. "Now, you just wait a minute!" His teeth were almost chattering in his anger as he gritted them tightly. "You need to understand something! You tw are my goons. My henchgirls. You do as I say! You follow my orders!"
The Twins glanced at each other but said nothing.
"You don't plan your own heists, you follow out my plans! That's what I hired you for!" the Joker finally finished, his voice panting with emotion. "You represent me when you're a part of my gang! You got that?"
The Twins took another glance at one another, and Yin obediently dropped the last pot she was holding. "Whatever you say, Boss."
Yang sighed loudly, too, but followed behind the Joker and Yin as they slowly walked away. Around them, the collective groans grew louder, and some movement could be seen from a few of the crowd.
"The effects don't last very long. You'll all be fine in no time, although you might be a little woozy. That's to be expected." Yin informed them with a grin as she sprayed the last and final green plant. It hissed and shriveled down to nothing more than stiff, brown nubs.
The entire room echoed with the sounds of dry, brittle stems breaking and the snake-like sounds of the dried, dead plants. In the end, despite the Joker crashing their crashed party, the Twins had done exactly what they wanted. They knew it, and he knew it, too. As they all slowly walked away from the room, they didn't speak a word.
As Bruce struggled with regaining his muscle movement, across the room, Bullock and Montoya were just as infuriated that the Twins and the Joker were going to seemingly get away. After a few minutes, many of the people were able to at least sit up properly. Montoya, Bullock, and even Bruce himself managed to stumble up and dash after the three villains. Much to their dismay, however, they were nowhere in sight. The only thing they left behind was one of their tiny guns.
Bullock, in his fury, slammed his foot down directly on top of the gun. It shattered into pieces like a glass ball dropped from a ten-story building. The Yin Yang Twins and the Joker had, again, escaped into thin air, and there was nothing any one of them could do about it.