2This was my entry for the 2014 Laven week. But now it's been re-vamped. Enjoy.
Allen and Lavi walked side by side. They were heading to Lavi's room to do some research. Troubling research.
"Please, come in, Allen~chan," Lavi said, pushing his door open with a goofy smile.
Allen nodded with a soft smile, stepping into the book-filled room. The comforting smell of books mixed with Lavi's cologne wrapped around him and soothed his senses.
Allen sat on the plush green comforter as Lavi rifled through his shelves, a furrow in his brow.
"You...you're looking for Innocence-type life spans...right?" Lavi spoke up, his voice slicing through the already shaky warm atmosphere.
Allen swallowed, fingering one of his gloves, "Yeah..."
Lavi licked his lips. He had to be professional when somebody asked for his help as a bookman. But this was Allen. His Allen
"Why?" Lavi asked, running his finger along one of the spins one of his books.
"Lavi...don't make this harder than it has to be. If you can't handle this, I'll ask Bookman." Allen said, his voice a breathy whisper.
He knew how much Lavi hated talking about his decreased life span. Allen hated it too, but it was something he had to think about. He didn't want to be wasting time if he had none.
"As a bookman," Lavi started, his hand stopping for a moment, "I can't help you unless you tell me why." But he knew why. Gods he knew why.
"I want to know how much time I have left to fight this godforsaken war, Lavi..." Allen mumbled, his eyes pleading as they started at the back of his lover's head.
Lavi clenched his fist around a book, pulling it out with more force than strictly necessary.
He spun on his heel, his face carefully composed as he walked over to sit across from Allen.
Allen reached out, touching Lavi's face and softly stroking it with his thumb, "I have to know," he whispered.
Lavi clutched Allen's hand in his, nodding and biting his lip as he flipped the book open, looking through the index.
He cleared his throat, getting ready to speak, "You and your innocence have brought to light a lot of new possibilities," he started, reading through a few paragraphs, "Your innocence has saved you once before. Which brings about the question of if it'll let you die at all..." he was rambling, and he knew it.
"Lavi..." Allen whispered, looking into his lover's eye as it clenched shut, "I didn't ask about possibilities.."
"I know..." Lavi croaked.
"How long?" It was the question they were dreading, he knew, but not knowing wouldn't lengthen his life.
Lavi shook his head, "I'm sorry," he whispered.
Allen knew what he meant. He wouldn't live to see the end of this war.
"It's not your fault," Allen whispered, watching as his lover's eyes opened, filled with pain. But he didn't cry, no, Lavi was too strong to cry.
"If I could do something, " Lavi stuttered, clutching Allen's hands as if he were afraid to let go. Allen wouldn't mention that he knew he was.
"I know," Allen whispered, giving a reassuring smile to Lavi, but it fell flat. There was nothing worth smiling about.
"I just...I just wish I could do something...anything..." Lavi said, a pleading look filtering into his beautiful jade iris.
"You can," Allen said, bringing Lavi close to him as tears filled his eyes.
"Anything, Allen, anything," Lavi responded, clutching to the back of Allen's coat.
"Promise me..." Allen took a breath, "Promise me you'll cry when I'm gone. If nobody else does, because of what's inside for me, I... want you to cry for me."
Lavi shook his head repeatedly, shoving his face farther into Allen's coat.
"I now it's selfish..." Allen's voice trembled.
Lavi shook his head defiantly this time as he lifted his head to look into Allen's teary eyes, "No... baby, no. I..." there was a lump in his throat, "I won't have the time to cry, baby, I would have nothing to live for without you, the light of my life. I would drop dead right beside you, my love, I would have no time to cry over the loss,"
Allen clutched him to his chest again, more desperately, "Please don't say that..."
"I couldn't live without you by my side..." Lavi whispered.
No more words were spoken between them that night. They just relished in each other's presence as the uncertainty of their future loomed over them.
3 years later.
Allen knew something was wrong.
He'd only gone through 40 Level-One Akuma and he was out of breath. He could usually cut through hundreds without a sweat.
It gave him a pit in the bottom of his stomach.
"Allen, behind you!" Allen twisted around, swinging his sword through the level one in one practiced swipe.
Lavi landed next to him, slapping him on the shoulder, "You can't be goin' off in your mind, Al. They'll get ya." he warned light-heartedly.
"Yeah," Allen nodded, wiping sweat from his forehead.
Lavi furrowed his brow, "You okay? Do you need to rest?"
Allen shook his head, watching as Kanda flew through the air with his katana, swiping through Akuma swiftly and effectively.
"There are still too many, I can't afford to rest." he said, giving him a small smile to reassure the concerned redhead, "I'll be okay."
He and Lavi jumped into action as two second-levelled Akuma attacked, separating them.
Allen cut through the Level-Two quickly, muttering a small prayer under his breath as he sprinted toward Kanda, covering his back.
"Shouldn't you be covering someone who needs help?" Kanda mutter bitterly, his sword swiping through two more Akuma.
Allen wouldn't admit that he was standing at Kanda's back because he truly didn't know if he could cover himself properly, much less another person who would just worry at his weakness.
"Really? And here I thought I would help you keep your nails all pretty," The argument was weak, he knew it.
Kanda sent him a side-glance, "Don't give me bullshit, Moyashi." he muttered.
Allen chuckled, heaving his sword around to take out an Akuma coming in from the side.
"I know the look of death well," Kanda continued.
"I don't doubt it," Allen responded pleasantly, not faltering in his well-time slices and jabs.
"How long?" Kanda asked, taking a discreet step closer to the weakening teen.
"I won't last through all of these," Allen told him honestly, gloom coating his voice.
Kanda gave a curt nod, his eyes a bit more determined, "You will." he insisted.
"Kanda-" Allen started.
"No." Kanda cut him off sharply, "I'll carry you off of this battle field if I have to do it on my goddam hands and knees." his irritation only made him more accurate in slaying Akuma.
Allen nodded with a small smile, "I would like that,"
Kanda grunted, "Sure."
By the end of the battle, Allen was lying on his back, blood dribbling down his chin from the corner of his mouth.
They'd all been worn ragged, but everyone could see that he was the worst off as they watched him fall back onto Kanda, who set him softly on the ground.
"Allen!" Lavi yelled, he somehow found the energy to sprint to his lover's side, taking his dirtied hand.
Kanda stood behind him, his expression grim as he bowed his head.
Allen's tired silver eyes blinked open, "Lavi..." his hand came up to rest on the worried redhead's cheek, the warmth of his skin filtering through the torn glove quickly.
"What happened? Where are you hurt?" Lavi pleaded, his green orb searching for any bleeds on his lover's body as his hand came to grip at the one on his cheek.
"Nowhere..." Miranda mumbled as she finished searching for any, tears filling her brown eyes and spilling over her cheeks. No doubt she knew.
"Why are you crying?" Lavi mumbled, realization slowly dawning on him, "If he's not hurt then... then he's okay, right?"
His eye pleaded for anyone to tell him he was right, but all he saw were solemn faces, "Right?" he croaked.
"Lavi..." Allen whispered, "Do you remember that promise you made?"
Lavi shook his head, "No, Allen, baby, I don't..." he croaked, taking Allen's paling face into his hands.
Allen smiled softly, his eyes drooping, "I know you do...always so proud of your bookman memory..."
Lavi shook his head again, "I don't remember, really, Al...remind me?" he pleaded.
Allen just continued smiling, his mouth running over words that never came out in more than breathy whispers.
Lavi leaned in, "Huh? What was that? C'mon, Al...you know I hate it when you mumble.." he whispered, lightly slapping his face, willing any colour into it.
Kanda moved, heaving Allen's small and weak frame into his tired arms. He promised he would carry him off of the battle field no matter what, and he would.
"No, Kanda, please.." Lavi cried, trying to hold his tears at bay, "He wasn't done talking, let him finish!"
Kanda glanced at him, "He's said what he needs to, let him rest,"
Kanda knew the feeble breath he could feel on his neck was sheer force of will. Of love.
Lavi met his eyes, his lip trembling, "Is it okay to cry?" he asked, pain lacerated his heart to bits.
Kanda gave a curt nod, watching as his best friend crumbled before his eyes, his heartbroken wails filling the cool night-air and informing all those around of his woe.
By the time they got back to the city, Kanda could no longer feel the breath on his throat, nor the tears on his shoulder.
1 year later
Lavi stood in his black coat, the thick fabric shielding from the harsh winds that lapped and whipped at his skin as he stood upon the hill.
In front of him was a grave marked by nothing more than a post with a crimson red ribbon.
Lavi had always thought it a shame that such an important part of history sat in an insignificant wooden box with nothing more to call its own than a stick and a ribbon.
But it wasn't actually about history.
It was about him. It was about Alen. It was about every life he touched. Every life that wavered with word of his inevitable passing.
The great exorcist had been a key part in stopping the war; something he would be proud of.
He would've been proud of a lot of things if he had stuck around long enough.
Kanda finally confessed to Lenalee.
Cross started taking his work seriously and stopped drinking.
Lavi had stopped crying himself to sleep every night.
Instead, he felt numb.
Resentful and numb.
The world lost an amazing person a year ago on this day, and not a minute would go by that he wouldn't question how the hell it managed to spin in spite of it.
The one question he would never get an answer for.