Dear Fanfiction writers,

You people don't deserve the dear. I have several things to talk about.

1. Why am I completely brainless in all of your stories. I've come up with plans, led battles, and tricked millennium old opponents. I'm way smarter than you people.

2. Why am I paired up with every single girl (and guy) in the world. Do you honestly think I am that much of a disrespectful playboy. Some of the things I saw are just ridiculous. Like me and my own father (that writer is going to tartarus).

3. I will not cheat on Annabeth. Does the fatal flaw loyalty mean nothing to you?

4. I can drown all of you you know?

With absolute hate,

Percy Jackson